Can a life ever truly be considered a failure?

I'll use this song by the Rolling Stones
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8G1n_-uxKY
to pose a question: does any single individual have the right—or even the capacity—to declare someone else's life, including their own, as wasted or a failure?

What actually defines a wasted life?
Is it the man who lived as a coward but successfully raised three children? Is it the person struggling with laziness or addiction, unable to overcome their own weaknesses?
Or perhaps the one who spent their years living under a veil of delusions?
Does such a judgment belong to no one?
If it belongs to someone, what specific metrics or criteria should be used to judge?🤷

Look, if we actually knew what the point of life was, we could easily judge whether someone’s existence was a total wash or if there’s some grand design keeping us all here.

If there isn't any higher purpose, then you could argue a person's life is a failure simply because they didn't hit their own goals,
or
maybe it's just because they're playing by a completely different set of rules than we are, making their life look like a bust from our perspective—though obviously, our way is the only right way.

slymaker9 said:I'll use this song by the Rolling Stones
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8G1n_-uxKY
to pose a question: does any single individual have the right—or even the capacity—to declare someone else's life, including their own, as wasted or a failure?

What actually defines a wasted life?
Is it the man who lived as a coward but successfully raised three children? Is it the person struggling with laziness or addiction, unable to overcome their own weaknesses?
Or perhaps the one who spent their years living under a veil of delusions?
Does such a judgment belong to no one?
If it belongs to someone, what specific metrics or criteria should be used to judge?🤷

And who exactly is telling you that the ranks of world-class scientists—or even great artists, for that matter—aren't populated by people you would label as cowards?

They say laziness is actually one of the primary drivers of technological progress; after all, life becomes significantly easier once you invent a clever gadget, a mechanism, or a machine to do the heavy lifting for you...

As for those "addicts" (as you so colorfully put it), there have been countless legendary artists in that category... honestly, a list of them would stretch far beyond the limits of this page...

I find myself wondering, what exactly constitutes the antithesis of a "failed life" in your estimation? 🤷

To be "struck" rather than "failed"—it sounds rather clumsy when I try to phrase it...
Perhaps you mean "fulfilled"? 🤷

If that is indeed the case, then what precisely must one achieve to be considered "fulfilled" instead of being (empty?) and "failed"?

If you ask me, spending your entire life grinding away at some job you absolutely hate... that’s just a wasted existence. Honestly, that’s the only truth that actually matters...

goldeneagle8 said:If you ask me, spending your entire life grinding away at some job you absolutely hate... that’s just a wasted existence. Honestly, that’s the only truth that actually matters...

Consider this scenario:
Suppose you spend your entire existence working in a laboratory, despite having an utter disdain for lab work... yet, through that grueling, soul-crushing labor, you happen to discover a cure for a devastating disease...

Would you still stubbornly cling to your original premise?

(And honestly, one could construct endless variations of such dilemmas if they had the patience for it.)

Look, nobody’s life is actually a waste or a total bust. I mean, honestly, if you’ve ever had a real conversation with someone, or even just scribbled some thoughts down in a journal, or simply spent time thinking... then your life has value. It’s only a failure if you decide it is, if you convince yourself there's no point to any of this...

But let's be real, life isn't some damn baseball, so you can't exactly strike out...

There really isn't anything in this life that you can "miss." It’s not like you have these specific targets you're aiming at and—well, shit—you missed the mark. Even if you did set some big life goals, even if you don't hit the bullseye right on the money, you’re still going to hit *something* else, and something else will happen instead...

Like, maybe you don't get into that Ivy League school you were eyeing, so you end up at some state university instead, but then you meet a best friend for life or the love of your life while you're there. You didn't miss...

feralranger said:Consider this scenario:
Suppose you spend your entire existence working in a laboratory, despite having an utter disdain for lab work... yet, through that grueling, soul-crushing labor, you happen to discover a cure for a devastating disease...

Would you still stubbornly cling to your original premise?

(And honestly, one could construct endless variations of such dilemmas if they had the patience for it.)

Look, I am telling you right now, with absolute certainty, that nobody spends their whole life stuck in a lab just because they enjoy the grind itself. There is zero chance anyone would spend decades hammering away at something they don't care about—especially in fields where you aren't the one making life-or-death decisions for others—there are endless examples of that. That’s my first point. And even if the end result is "good," what does it matter if you don't feel any actual satisfaction from it? It’s like if your parents forced you into professional tennis and you ended up becoming some world-class champ like Andre Agassi, but deep down you hated every second of it... what was the point? You were basically living someone else's life instead of your own, and that is exactly where people go wrong. Someone else will eventually step up and get those results... but if you personally aren't fulfilled by what you've achieved, then you've fundamentally missed the mark...👍

goldeneagle8 said:Look, I am telling you right now, with absolute certainty, that nobody spends their whole life stuck in a lab just because they enjoy the grind itself. There is zero chance anyone would spend decades hammering away at something they don't care about—especially in fields where you aren't the one making life-or-death decisions for others—there are endless examples of that. That’s my first point. And even if the end result is "good," what does it matter if you don't feel any actual satisfaction from it? It’s like if your parents forced you into professional tennis and you ended up becoming some world-class champ like Andre Agassi, but deep down you hated every second of it... what was the point? You were basically living someone else's life instead of your own, and that is exactly where people go wrong. Someone else will eventually step up and get those results... but if you personally aren't fulfilled by what you've achieved, then you've fundamentally missed the mark...👍

That is simply incorrect. A vast number of people perform jobs they genuinely despise. Many find themselves stuck in titles and roles they never desired because they failed to achieve their original goals, succumbed to societal pressure, or perhaps realized that their true passions simply wouldn't pay the bills in this economy...

For instance, someone might dream of designing high-performance Formula 1 race cars, only to spend their career designing brake systems for standard Ford sedans or commuter buses, which is undeniably tedious...

However, if that individual performs that dull task with excellence, additional human lives may very well be saved...

feralranger said:That is simply incorrect. A vast number of people perform jobs they genuinely despise. Many find themselves stuck in titles and roles they never desired because they failed to achieve their original goals, succumbed to societal pressure, or perhaps realized that their true passions simply wouldn't pay the bills in this economy...

For instance, someone might dream of designing high-performance Formula 1 race cars, only to spend their career designing brake systems for standard Ford sedans or commuter buses, which is undeniably tedious...

However, if that individual performs that dull task with excellence, additional human lives may very well be saved...

There was this thread here once about some guy working in a lab who hated every second of it.
It really stuck with me... he talked about how he spent his whole life just taking the path of least resistance, so he ended up finishing a degree he had zero interest in, getting a PhD he didn't want, and now he's just sitting in some lab doing work that bores him to tears🙏🙏

Well, it looks like I just got handed a massive pile of philosophy coursework.
Fair enough. Maybe putting this thread over there was a mistake.
What could be discussed in a philosophy seminar regarding the topic: "Who am I to judge anyone?"

feralranger said:Consider this scenario:
Suppose you spend your entire existence working in a laboratory, despite having an utter disdain for lab work... yet, through that grueling, soul-crushing labor, you happen to discover a cure for a devastating disease...

Would you still stubbornly cling to your original premise?

(And honestly, one could construct endless variations of such dilemmas if they had the patience for it.)

If someone lacks any real passion for what they do, they simply can't achieve anything groundbreaking...
At best, they’ll just be mediocre—though, if we're being honest, they'll most likely end up performing well below average...😉

slymaker9 said:I'll use this song by the Rolling Stones
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8G1n_-uxKY
to pose a question: does any single individual have the right—or even the capacity—to declare someone else's life, including their own, as wasted or a failure?

What actually defines a wasted life?
Is it the man who lived as a coward but successfully raised three children? Is it the person struggling with laziness or addiction, unable to overcome their own weaknesses?
Or perhaps the one who spent their years living under a veil of delusions?
Does such a judgment belong to no one?
If it belongs to someone, what specific metrics or criteria should be used to judge?🤷

Everyone can judge themselves—whether they missed the mark or not—but you can't really "fail" at life itself. To "hit" life, all you have to do is... exist. Be born, live, move on. That's it. Missing a specific purpose is a completely different story. Once you realize you've taken a wrong turn on the path you wanted to follow, you just pivot back.

We can sit here all day debating our own criteria for whether someone else failed, but at the end of the day, they're the only ones qualified to make that call.

I guess you can't always find your way back to the right path 😉
circumstances change, I suppose

To determine if a life can be considered a failure, we first have to establish if failure is even possible in a broad sense. And to do that, we need to define what "failing" actually means. In this context, failing means "missing the mark," where the "mark" is defined by purpose or meaning.
Since we haven't cracked the code on the ultimate meaning of existence, we can't really say whether someone’s life is a total wash in the grand scheme of things.

However, people create their own purpose through their actions. This is a personal kind of meaning, distinct from any universal truth, and it is very much real. Take, for example, a guy who decides his whole mission in life is to build a custom home for his family. That is his purpose. He pours everything into it, working himself to the bone for years, and he gets the house about 60% finished.

Then, out of nowhere, a brick falls off a construction site and kills him instantly. What happens to his "purpose" then?

Well, he was right there on the edge of making it happen 😛, so I guess it probably wasn't a mistake for him 🤷

There wasn't much anyone could do about it

I think it's actually worse when someone just can't resist the crowd and ends up ditching their own path just to fit in 😢

That seems like a pretty hollow way to live, I guess 😁

It’s possible to have everything laid out in front of you and still feel like your life is a total wash, simply because you can't find peace within yourself. On the flip side, there are people who own absolutely nothing in a material sense, yet they live life to the fullest and savor every single moment...
Unfortunately, I fall squarely into that first category. I’m fully aware that I possess almost everything anyone else could dream of, yet I am profoundly unhappy. I’m stuck in this endless loop where something is always missing; I just can't seem to settle down. Everyone who knows me says the exact same thing: "You're such a difficult person." I’m dissatisfied with my existence, and there are days when living feels like an exhausting chore. My biggest hurdle is my sarcasm—and honestly, I can be downright rude. Most men are initially drawn to my looks, but once they actually get to know me, they practically run for the hills! So, here I am, convinced my life is a massive failure, even if most people would disagree...
And please, don't go thinking I'm saying this because I'm some loser who can't land a boyfriend—if only it were that simple. I have much deeper reasons for feeling this way. Truthfully, I lack the motivation to care, and even when I do find someone or something interesting, it inevitably falls apart. I’ve reached a point where I’ve stopped trying to feel better. I’ve just accepted that my life is a complete mess...

wiredridge152 said:If someone lacks any real passion for what they do, they simply can't achieve anything groundbreaking...
At best, they’ll just be mediocre—though, if we're being honest, they'll most likely end up performing well below average...😉

I find that assertion to be fundamentally flawed. Substantial results—assuming such things even matter in the grand scheme of things—are frequently the product of sheer, dogged persistence paired with a decent baseline of ability. (And quite often, these individuals possess neither exceptional talent nor any burning passion whatsoever...)

Furthermore, consider this: an average physician can still save countless lives. Does that inherent "averageness" render their entire existence a wasted endeavor?

Dennis Hernandez52 said:It’s possible to have everything laid out in front of you and still feel like your life is a total wash, simply because you can't find peace within yourself. On the flip side, there are people who own absolutely nothing in a material sense, yet they live life to the fullest and savor every single moment...
Unfortunately, I fall squarely into that first category. I’m fully aware that I possess almost everything anyone else could dream of, yet I am profoundly unhappy. I’m stuck in this endless loop where something is always missing; I just can't seem to settle down. Everyone who knows me says the exact same thing: "You're such a difficult person." I’m dissatisfied with my existence, and there are days when living feels like an exhausting chore. My biggest hurdle is my sarcasm—and honestly, I can be downright rude. Most men are initially drawn to my looks, but once they actually get to know me, they practically run for the hills! So, here I am, convinced my life is a massive failure, even if most people would disagree...
And please, don't go thinking I'm saying this because I'm some loser who can't land a boyfriend—if only it were that simple. I have much deeper reasons for feeling this way. Truthfully, I lack the motivation to care, and even when I do find someone or something interesting, it inevitably falls apart. I’ve reached a point where I’ve stopped trying to feel better. I’ve just accepted that my life is a complete mess...

Maybe you'll actually start being nicer. 😛

I guess you’d be a lot nicer to them if you actually liked someone in the group. Maybe. 😉

hiddenhawk3 said:Maybe you'll actually start being nicer. 😛

I guess you’d be a lot nicer to them if you actually liked someone in the group. Maybe. 😉

Trust me, I have my moments where I just snap, and I've pushed away people who genuinely cared about me... I think it happens because I convince myself I'm just a toxic person and that they'd be better off with someone else.

you aren't the only one 😳

then you go and push away the guy you actually like and end up acting like a total idiot 😠

self-destruction