Keith Lee2 said:The link between EQ and IQ. Just my two cents here—speculating a bit. From what I can tell, IQ really comes down to perception and how fast you process what you see. Basically, your brain looks at everything around you and flags it as either familiar or unknown, and then decides if it’s dangerous or safe. If it picks up too many signals that feel unknown or risky, it triggers fear—ranging from just a little unease to full-on panic—just to get you away from "danger" as fast as possible.
Now, picture someone who perceives *everything* (super high sensitivity), but doesn't have a fast enough processing speed to keep up. That person is basically living in a state of constant anxiety. On the flip side, someone who doesn't notice much but processes things lightning-fast is going to be pretty chill, even in a "scary" environment.
So, the sheer amount of data you can process—that's IQ. But the ratio between how much you perceive versus how much you process? That's EQ.
People who are highly perceptive are forced to develop higher intelligence just to cope, basically leveling up their IQ to balance out the perception and reach a sense of equilibrium—or, you know, actual happiness.
It's common knowledge that marijuana spikes dopamine levels, which in turn heightens perception. Are you suggesting that people who smoke are actually more emotionally intelligent? 🙏
When a band like Pearl Jam decides to stop making music videos altogether—right after dropping one of the most iconic clips ever—just because Eddie Vedder thinks it’s getting way too commercialized, you have to respect that move. Believe it or not, some people actually make music just for the pure joy of it. They aren't chasing fame or a massive paycheck; they're just living in the moment. They write about what they feel, and that’s why so many people see their own lives reflected in those lyrics. But then you have someone like Svetlana traveling from Brooklyn to New York City to become some manufactured pop star, and suddenly any connection to actual art or raw emotion just evaporates.
Yeah, okay, maybe I'm a bit narrow-minded. Just like the 70% of the population who think Bob Dylan is the greatest thing to ever happen to music while having absolutely no clue what true, soul-stirring artistry even sounds like. 😈
Please don't criticize me for letting this topic wander—it actually perfectly illustrates the populist psychology at play here. It seems some people just won't ever agree on this, much like they won't on politics.
Who actually listens to folk-pop? Your average listener probably finished a trade school, served in the military, and then spent six months hunting for work. He’s likely still living with his mom, which gives him enough cash to head out and blow $500-$333 in a madhouse over the weekend. He never cared for history class, so after spending Friday losing his mind to songs by the ex-wife of some notorious North American warlord, he'll spend Saturday at a Johnny Štulić concert, shouting slogans along with an energized crowd of like-minded folks. From Monday to Thursday, he'll be at work retelling stories about how wild the weekend was—and then Friday rolls around and it all starts over again. That's the mediocre cycle: living like that until he hits 30, marries some girl he pumped up, has a kid, and suddenly has neither the time nor the desire for music or partying.
There’s really no point in taking these people seriously because there's no substance there. They just jump to those songs because they can follow the lyrics. There isn't a movement behind them like there was for New Wave, Grunge, or even the rise of Techno. They aren't out there preserving a Bob Dylan LP or a scrap of paper where Johnny Štulić wrote "Slut's Sons." I preserve things—and that's why my stuff will last forever. Ceca, on the other hand, is only good until Sunday morning.
When I was just a kid, they were actually shooting at me—trying to take my life. They rolled tanks right through my house, aiming to kill my parents. My entire town was leveled, and half my street was basically under occupation. Now, fifteen years later, you all refuse to celebrate the way I want to, insisting on doing it their way instead. Honestly, I’m starting to lose track of who actually won that damn war. Thanks a lot.
I used to get shut down constantly because my girlfriend would say I was basically killing her—and since I absolutely loathe talking about myself, it was a mess. I’ve tried to fix it lately; I’m still far from perfect, but I think I'm making progress. If I say something positive about myself, I come off as some arrogant jerk who can't stop bragging. But if I’m honest about my flaws, people start treating me like I’m some depressed wreck or a total psycho. So, I tried throwing in some humor—since I can actually be pretty witty when I want to be—but then it turns out people think I’m too much of a clown to take seriously. It's just one thing after another.
So, for those of you in long-term relationships—do you honestly believe you were made for each other, or is it more like everyone else is coupled up, so you might as well jump in too?
Kimberly Kim91 said:@urbannomad12 I can't believe it... I have to admit, looking at everything you wrote—and I mean *everything*—I see myself in it. Same principles, same mindset... I totally get where you're coming from. It feels impossible—I've honestly never run into anyone who shares my exact perspective like this. Is there some kind of catch here?
And that’s pretty much the reality of it. Honestly, I think most guys think this way—we just pretend otherwise because we lack the guts to actually admit it (outside of this forum).
I took a break from the forum for over a month to actually test these theories out in the real world—just to see how things play out. Not to brag, obviously, but I had a few "successful" encounters while testing my ideas on dating dynamics.
Here’s what I realized: women generally categorize men into two groups. There are the short-term options, and then there are the serious prospects—the long-term guys. My issue is that when I meet a woman I truly connect with—someone I could listen to all day—she becomes a long-term prospect for me. And unfortunately, for those types of women, I usually end up being just a short-term guy. On the flip side, there are women who are recovering from relationships with total jerks and are searching for someone "normal." For them, I would be the perfect long-term candidate.
The struggle is finding that perfect combination—meeting someone I'm genuinely attracted to who also views me as long-term material. Usually, our perspectives just don't align, so I just walk away. From here on out, I'm embracing the single life and sticking to short-term flings—whatever happens, happens. If I happen to stumble upon a long-term match where we actually see eye-to-eye, then I'll marry her. 🙏
I’d highly recommend picking up *Think and Grow Rich* by Napoleon Hill. Toward the end of the book, he touches on why there's almost always a woman standing behind every successful man.
To laugh is to risk looking like a fool To weep is to risk appearing sentimental To reach out for another is to risk involvement To expose feelings is to risk rejection To Place Your dreams before a crowd is to risk ridicu To Love is to risk not being loved in return To go forward in The faca of overwhelming odds is to risk failure But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrows, but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow, or love. Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave — he has forfeited his freedom.
Only a person who takes risks is FREE
I was only truly in love once—and to make matters worse, it was with a close friend. Looking at the guys she used to hang out with, I spent so much time trying to reinvent myself just to fit the mold. Everyone says women want certain types of confident men, and honestly, there’s some truth to that. But eventually, I just hit a breaking point and realized that love shouldn't be about hunting for a specific person and then forcing them to fall for a version of you that isn't real; it should be about meeting all kinds of people until you find someone who accepts you exactly as you are—flaws, quirks, and all. I used to try to pick a target and then perform to win them over, which I now see is a total mistake in how to approach love, life, or anything else. Still... what if that flawed approach actually yields results while the "right" way yields absolutely nothing? Am I just supposed to wait for Godot?
🙂 It’s happening to me too—you’ve definitely given me some food for thought over the next few days. Honestly, I wouldn't exactly call myself a looker. Growing up, that really messed with my head—it did some serious damage, you could say. While other kids were all held hands and kissing, I was just standing there watching. I didn't participate. Maybe that's why I never went through those silly little childhood crushes—those meaningless flings everyone loves to reminisce about. Instead, I spent my time reading, playing sports, and hitting the gym. Eventually, I managed to build up some self-confidence, and then things really started moving for me. For a while there, I actually couldn't complain, though there were times I was totally trashed.
The issue is that it feels like that childhood insecurity stayed buried inside me. No matter how much my confidence grows, it’s always there, lurking. For instance, I don't think I have the knack for gauging if a girl likes me during that initial stage when we're just exchanging glances. The worst part is walking down the street, spotting a beautiful woman, our eyes meet, she looks down shyly... and then she slowly looks back up and smiles. And what am I supposed to do then? Run after her and make small talk about the weather? It's not that I lack social skills, but I'm just not prepared for a moment like that—plus, the only places I ever run into women are at the local pub, on the sidewalk, or on the subway.
Gerald Patel42 said:So, what exactly is running through your head during those moments? 🤔 Give me an example... (just asking out of pure curiosity...🙂 )
Honestly, I don't know—maybe just the meaning of life. It’s frustrating when people don't take my ambitions seriously or look at me like some kid with delusions of grandeur. Or even simpler stuff—like dating someone for three months and realizing you have no idea what they actually believe about religion or their long-term goals. I also hate feeling like a "know-it-all" whenever I start diving into psychology or analyzing human behavior. I mean, I'm not doing it constantly, but doesn't everyone get stuck in those kinds of deep thoughts sometimes? Apparently not.
Ethan Thompson74 said:You basically figured it out yourself 😉; there’s zero point in pretending to be someone else or acting different than who you actually are. We all want to make a killer first impression in those moments—that's just human nature—but you've gotta be yourself. Focus on leaning into your strengths and just keeping the flaws under wraps 😬
It seems to me there's a massive underlying layer of insecurity in all this—this fear that if people saw the real you, they wouldn't dig it... That's something you really need to work through internally.
Obviously, you'll have a much better shot at finding someone who actually clicks with you—someone who shares your vibe and interests—if you stop playing a part. Be honest with yourself first, then with others, and just let yourself exist; even if that means being moody or lazy sometimes...
Yeah, that sounds great in some perfect utopia. But I'm giving you a reality check for our messy world. Take last Saturday, for instance—the usual routine where the whole crew hangs out at someone's place before heading downtown. I run into this girl who is, frankly, gorgeous. I go up to her, talk absolute nonsense, and honestly? I had one thing on my mind. She's smiling, looking like she's ready for things to move fast, and after a little bit of waiting, boom, we're at it. Later, I realize I was just being a smooth operator and didn't know a single thing about her. We meet up again a few days later, and the date is an absolute train wreck.
Fast forward a month: I'm out just wandering around, not even looking for anything. I bump into this perfect girl. We ditch our friends, grab a drink at a local pub, and end up talking for two hours straight. No games, no cheesy lines. It felt like I knew her better in those two hours than most people I've known for a year. Then, when I finally ask for her number, she hits me with: "You're a great guy, but..."
I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I hadn't treated her like a real person and just focused on the physical side. I'm 80% sure it would've worked. It turns out I fare way worse when I'm being genuine than when I'm playing the alpha male. (Ladies, trust me, it's all just an act 🙂).
Looking through the threads here, it seems like a lot of people struggle with relationships. I’m certainly no exception, which is why I wanted to pick your brains about something.
What’s your move on a first date—say, grabbing coffee on a Sunday morning after a wild Saturday night out? Some people are naturally quiet but force themselves to talk a mile a minute. Shy folks try to fake this massive wave of confidence. Basically, we’re all just trying to project this ultra-cool, effortless image of ourselves. But there are days when I don't feel "ultra-cool" at all, and when I try to fake it, I just end up feeling pathetic. So, I swallow that awkwardness, play the part, and end up creating this persona that isn't actually me. Eventually, things progress, but then it gets incredibly hard to explain that this is just who I am—quiet, a bit lazy, an introvert who’s often lost in thought about something she doesn't even know exists. That creates these cracks between us over time, day by day, attempt after attempt...
I can see two ways this ends. Either I’m genuinely weird and screwed. Maybe so, though I’m probably one of the few people honest enough to admit it. Or, the second possibility is that I shouldn't have been performing in the first place. If it works, great. If not, she either gets me right away or we part ways peacefully from the start.
I’ve reached a point where I can land sex, but love stays out of reach. Why?
You gave me life, now show me how to live....
P.S. This might not be strictly "psychology," but that's how I'm looking at it.
Most people spend their lives paralyzed by fear and the weight of unfulfilled dreams—always chasing wealth and status. If you told them they weren't actually at fault for their struggles, but could instead blame a specific group—say, Jewish Americans—and promised happiness through their removal, a huge chunk of the population would swallow it whole. It’s just much easier to point a finger at someone else than to face your own failures. Hitler didn't just dump all those ridiculous ideas on everyone overnight; he spent years relentlessly drilling those conspiracies into people's heads until the confused masses actually started believing him. Not to mention, he leaned hard on intimidation—it was basically "get on board with us or die."
We're talking about an individual who exerts total control over a specific group—influencing them until they essentially become brainwashed sheep just following orders. I once read about this guy in a book—his mother was a sex worker, he ended up in juvenile detention at seventeen, and spent the next thirty years bouncing between prisons. He learned everything there was to know about the human psyche during that time, and once he was out, he built this cult of followers—mostly women, about 200 of them—who lived with him, catered to his every whim, and did exactly what he commanded. When things finally boiled over and the authorities started closing in, they committed mass suicide. Three hundred people took their own lives along with him. And you're asking why? Psychologists and psychiatrists can offer all the theories they want, but they can't truly explain the sheer type of power that man held over those people. He simply broke them down—he knew exactly what they craved and convinced them he was the only one who could provide it. They were likely just fragile individuals looking for support and comfort, and once he promised them that, he had absolute dominion over them. (Azrael, if you're reading this, give it some thought) Throw crowd psychology into the mix, and it becomes much clearer how figures like Castro, Maddox, and others managed to lure so many people into their ideologies... Not everyone is a critical thinker, and certainly not everyone thinks for themselves. In my view, these kinds of leaders are a sort of twisted kind of genius.
In business, there really isn't any other metric for success besides the bottom line. That said, I’m not obsessed with it—I just view it as a game where you try to rack up as many points as possible.
urbannomad12 was an ascetic first and a wealthy man second. In that sense, I suppose I can relate to him a bit more. 🙂