8:00 Crank Motörhead up to eleven—no sipping coffee here. Some guy decides to whack you in the head with a mug, then you immediately drop for four push-ups and two self-inflicted slaps. Then, bathroom break. 8:30 Breakfast time. You get a tin of corned beef with onions and two slices of toast. You better tell them it's delicious, too. 9:00 Head out to the woods for a light jog, followed by some quick sprints around the trees. 9:30 A lovely sight—deer by the creek. Getting close to nature and trying to pet the deer. 9:32 Turns out the deer wasn't much of a people person. Off to the ER. 10:00 Once you're all patched up and stitched, you get an explicit order not to mention what happened. The official story? We were targeted by an enemy drone from the rogue militia led by Phiber. 11:00 Fully leaning into the drama, you insist on smearing ash on your face and crawling through the bushes. DENIED! 12:00 Now fully immersed in the day—feeling that sense of adventure—you get lunch. Nothing fancy: just some General Tso's chicken and chocolate milk. Small joys. A ten-minute break for a cigarette before heading back to base to shower. 13:00 Since you need to unwind before a heavy afternoon, you get orders to head over to the local go-kart track for some fun. 15:00 Lunch—tasty and hearty. High energy, as requested. Afternoon rest follows. 16:30 Afternoon training session. Sets of push-ups and pull-ups, plus some basketball and ping-pong. Various drills, etc. 18:00 Tackling some math problems. 19:00 Reading, TV, and internet—thirty minutes max. 20:00 Cleaning the quarters and, if there's time left, some downtime. 21:00 Dinner. 22:00 Hygiene and hitting the sack.
Edit: Just went back to see what I wrote and realized I used a weird term for the guy earlier. Clearly, stagnation isn't good for the brain. :S
What happened, mistyseal11? You were all about that "new year, new me" energy—full of big plans and massive enthusiasm—so where'd it all go? I’ve never really understood this whole "hitting rock bottom" concept people obsess over. I’ve hit bottom plenty of times, and honestly, nothing changed except for a temporary burst of motivation and meeting a great girl—and then everything went south again. It feels like all that inner strength and those little personal renaissances just evaporate if you don't have someone in your corner—a real friend who actually gives a damn about you. Without that... things get rough. Look, I'm not saying you'd act this way, but what's the point of mapping out a strict routine and discipline if your drive vanishes in seventy-two hours? Living that couch-potato-whiskey-bed lifestyle is usually just a sign that a person has zero desire for anything else. Do you actually have any drive for the future? Can you see yourself anywhere specific five years from now? Is there anyone you love? What's the name of Neptune's moon? That feeling of being invincible is a trap—you think you can conquer the world, so you end up doing absolutely nothing at all. If you're dead set on a drill sergeant routine, we could start a little militia—we'll blast Motorhead, I'll yell at you, and you can run through the woods or whatever. Haha.
Nicole Morgan5 said:You have much deeper issues than the person who started this thread.
Regarding that fear of getting into a fight, or that freezing up when the adrenaline fails to kick in—when there's no "fight or flight" response and you just shut down—that’s simply weakness taking over. You end up three times more vulnerable than you actually are. You fix that by joining a boxing gym, a karate dojo, or an Aikido club. With a little "professional guidance," you can actually build some real confidence.
The goal isn't to become some street thug; it's to stop that paralyzing fear from seizing you when things get dangerous. In a gym, you’ll take hits—some controlled, some not—but you’ll develop confidence because you’ll feel comfortable within those "controlled" environments.
That’s where you learn that 90% of problems can be solved just by having the right posture and presence.
Besides, you’re clearly struggling with a massive ego because you’re terrified of the humiliation of getting hit a few times. That’s coming from an experienced martial artist who dealt with the exact same thing until he was sixteen or seventeen. I can't even remember the last time I got into a real scrap "out in the wild," but I see these idiots all the time on the road—since I spend a lot of time driving—who jump out of their cars to try and lecture me with force.
Believe me, they usually scramble back into their cars pretty quickly without anyone needing to land a single punch. :klap:
Some people build confidence through hard work, some are just born with it, and then there are the types who snort coke just to feel brave, only to have the adrenaline hit them in the wrong place instead of giving them actual courage.
Go ahead, point out my "problem"—I have plenty, so I might as well know which one to tackle first. Karate is a joke, and I highly doubt anyone is intimidated by your "karate psychology" unless you're talking about a gun tucked under the seat. As far as I know, the only type of guy who jumps out of a car to pick a fight is someone who's either lost his mind or realized he's facing much greater physical force or a weapon. Good luck to you "beast tamers," I could use those skills... The idea that hitting a fool doesn't humiliate him and make him want to retaliate is total nonsense. "It's an ego thing"... hahaha.
To be brutally honest—and I mean this in the most straightforward way possible—you’re just a coward at heart, and nothing is going to change that. You could master three different martial arts and pack on twenty pounds of muscle, but the second a real confrontation hits, you’ll still just be that same scared little kid inside. The only thing that would actually change you is some massive, life-altering trauma—the kind of rage that snaps something deep inside you. But since that would make your life a living hell, honestly? Be glad you’re relatively "normal." A guy who chooses to throw down just to save face—risking jail time and missing his kid growing up—is a coward. To some people, that's no big deal; to others, it’s everything. If you think being a man is all about fighting rather than standing your ground and living by your principles, then you’re even more of a coward—especially if you think characters like those thugs from *South Central* are role models for masculinity. Protecting your own, regardless of the fallout? That’s what matters. Everything else is just child's play. The only time I feel the urge to settle things physically is when I’m feeling weak or dissatisfied with myself. When I’m actually feeling strong and capable, I just feel superior to the whole situation—and frankly, that’s a much better way to live.
Ashley Johnson6 said:People just love to complain, really. There's this pervasive culture of negativity here in the States—if things are going great, people find a reason to whine, and if things are going south, they definitely don't shut up.
That whole habit of judging parenting in front of others is deeply ingrained in our culture, but honestly, it’s just pure nonsense.
Yeah, being a parent is hard—it’s incredibly tough being a mom during those first couple of years—but ask any (mentally stable) woman if she’d want to hit a reset button and go back to her old life... nobody would take that deal.
The beautiful moments far outweigh the "bad" ones, and even those rough patches? In a few decades—actually, in a few weeks for me—we'll be looking back on them with nothing but nostalgia...
Kids are basically like drugs—they're great for a little while, but most of the time it’s just a mess and hard to walk away from. Don't do drugs, don't do kids.
It’s a gut punch when you realize a whole chapter of your life was built on a lie—but it is what it is. There isn't much you can do to change the past right now. If they treated you well and actually showed you love, then maybe it wasn't all bad. They likely just wanted to protect you while you were growing up and thought keeping the truth quiet was for the best. Things will feel incredibly awkward at first, no doubt, but you'll adjust. Now that you've finally met your real father, he might become a steady presence—and as life throws more curveballs your way, this might eventually become less of a burden. Living with a lie is exhausting, and honestly, you'll probably feel this nagging urge to confront them now that everything has changed. Whether or not you tell them you know the truth is entirely up to you—you'll have to figure out what's best for your own peace of mind.
Nicholas Gonzalez8 said:I honestly think that when things get this intense, all that repressed stuff just starts bubbling to the surface. You've got all this aggression people aimed at them, those raw emotions they had to bottle up just to avoid looking "weird" or being cast out by society, and those deep-seated fears—it all comes flooding back. It’s not that they’re bad people by nature, not at all, but in moments like these, they just get hijacked by these overwhelming forces. Whether they let it out in a way that looks beautiful or totally ugly, they're really just releasing everything they've been holding in. In a weird way, it's the only time they actually seem to be acting in alignment with who they truly are.
I think you're being way too soft here. This specific case is a textbook example of why they aren't "good" people—it's black and white. She gave them total freedom to act how they wanted, and instead, they left her crying and bleeding. You can find excuses for anything, sure, but why didn't they just, say, give her a massage or try to cheer her up with some friendly banter? This whole performance might be staged like Paul Thompson3 suggested, but even if it isn't, it’s a vivid look at human nature—if someone's weak, people will bully them and dump their frustrations right on their heads. I don't know what kind of neighborhoods these types run in, but from what I've seen, it doesn't take much. Once someone has a little extra cash or looks like they have an easy life, people start hating them for it—I hear it constantly, just petty jealousy about who bought what or who got a promotion. Take away the fear of getting arrested, and you'll see them turn physical in a heartbeat.
Hey driftinghound12! Skip the suicidal thoughts—instead, just realize you've been living under a delusion. You’ll have to accept this new reality and adjust your expectations and behavior to fit a new truth: most people aren't actually good, and if you give someone your total trust, you should probably assume they'll eventually betray it. Next time, don't broadcast your plans; just do what you think is right for yourself first—confessions can be the icing on the cake later.
People respect bad actors simply because they fear them—kindness has never really been in high demand. People say it is, but let's be real, it isn't. If you're looking for religious insight, the whole Jesus-Barabbas thing makes it pretty clear how the masses think. Bad things are more powerful than good ones because that’s just how the world works. Destruction is fast and easy, while building something takes actual effort and time. A relationship built over years can be nuked by one person's actions in a matter of seconds. Next time you're looking to make a friend, watch how they treat people they have absolutely nothing to gain from. If they're jerks to them, they aren't good people—don't waste your trust or your best self on them.
There are still plenty of decent, high-quality people out there—it just seems you haven't been lucky enough to be surrounded by them.
If some people are clearly born with an edge—whether it’s looks or raw strength—why wouldn't some be naturally superior when it comes to intellect? Why wouldn't they grasp concepts that seem totally abstract to the rest of us? It feels strange—what’s the point of a creator picking specific people to be brilliant just to enlighten everyone else, while leaving the rest of us essentially stuck being dependent on them? Let’s be honest—Einstein didn't actually do much for the world, and neither did Tesla, really. All those "genius" breakthroughs just end up being weaponized into more efficient ways to wage war or, frankly, just make the average person even more clueless.
Gary Allen47 said:Back in elementary school, I was the teacher's pet because I was polite and generally played the role of the "good kid." That changed once I hit high school; I just lost interest in being everyone's favorite. That’s when the grading started getting inconsistent—getting lower marks than I actually earned. At the end of the day, people are subjective by nature, and they act unfairly whether they're being nice or being harsh. It really just comes down to you: do you want to please them or live life on your own terms? Both paths have their pros and cons.
Great post—you nailed it in the bolded section. No point in stressing over it; you are who you are. If you don't stay true to yourself, someone else will try to mold you into whoever makes them feel more comfortable.
I guess we’re still sane enough that war isn't some kind of entertainment to us. Joseph McCarthy and his kind of degenerates belong behind bars—not being immortalized in movies.
I mentioned earlier that only a handful of people actually thrive because they want to—and because it works for them. Maybe that's an oversimplification, but that's my take. It’s honestly not easy for high achievers to actually find contentment and just enjoy life—I'd say those people are pretty rare.
Most people just exist because they’re forced to—mostly out of a fear of dying—whereas the rare few actually live because they want to and find genuine fulfillment. I imagine those who are truly broken, yet have enough guts, might check out while still in their teens; meanwhile, the majority never really hits that true, vibrant 😁 stride, just drifting through life as mere survivors until they eventually fade away.
It’s all pretty rational—just making smart, level-headed moves. Honestly, she was kind of my North Star, my whole reason for getting up in the morning—and without that light, reality feels a bit hollow. Hopefully, tomorrow brings some clarity. Once you have kids, you suddenly find this higher purpose—all those "what am I fighting for?" questions become nonsense peddled by lazy skeptics and slackers. You get a clear objective, and there’s a certain beauty in that. In a way, having someone to fight for against all odds actually frees you from your own ego. Thanks for the chat.
I didn't mean to offend you if you have kids—I know that can be a sensitive subject. It seems wild to me to even consider having children; why would anyone ever want to sentence their own flesh and blood to life? People might call my outlook bleak, but honestly, I think having kids is the ultimate selfish act. Then there’s the constant anxiety and the massive cost—I don't think I'm wired for it. If someone at school so much as looked at my kid wrong, I'd probably lose my mind, and you just can't live like that. What am I supposed to watch them become? These happy little kids eventually turning into either mindless drones or people crushed by the system—I'm not sure which is worse. For me, staying childless feels like the responsible, sane choice. Just looking around, it seems like people hit a certain age, realize they've got no clue what to do with their lives, and decide, "Fine, let's just have a kid." They can barely afford college, the job market is a total disaster, and the future looks bleaker by the day—but hey, let's have a couple of kids anyway.
Sure, she played her part—but let’s be real, I’m not the one to blame for how much this wrecked me. It’s a hell of a thing, isn't it? One minute you think you’ve found that one person—someone who makes you feel invincible, totally free to just be yourself, someone you actually give a damn about—and the next, you realize it was all for nothing. Turns out, they couldn't care less. I saw the thread title "Fighting for What?" and then immediately saw your username "Nothing" right underneath it—honestly, the timing was perfect. I had to laugh at how well that lined up.
I'm back to feeling close to checking out—just looked at my options for buying a handgun and honestly, what's the point? Time is moving fast; thirty hits you quick. I have zero desire for kids or the whole white-picket-fence thing, and I'm not chasing a career either, so the drive to actually exist is pretty much gone. I thought I found the perfect girl a few years back, only for her to admit she lied about not wanting kids just to keep me around... typical move, really. You think you finally found home, then realize you just moved into a complete disaster.
I went from being a social butterfly to a total loner. I don't even know if I have the energy to look for someone new when my ex seemed perfect—and she wasn't even a bad person—so what am I supposed to deal with now? Most people out there are just nightmares, not actual women. Then there's the health stuff—doesn't look like things are improving there, either. I've distanced myself from everyone; I've spent my whole life swimming against the Mississippi, trying to hold onto what I consider right, and it feels pointless. I'm done putting up with anyone's bullshit. I refuse to watch myself turn into some bitter old man dwelling on "what ifs." I was always a decent guy—easy to talk to, fun, kept secrets—but I always felt like an outsider, and I never wanted to force myself into spaces where I didn't belong. I'm past the stage of being disappointed by people; I get how psychology works, I get life, I get humanity. I guess I'm glad I didn't pull the trigger sooner, because I might have missed some good things. Who knows, maybe something decent is still waiting—though that’s not a realistic thought. This whole game is getting boring. I feel like I've seen it all and I'm way more aware than the people around me; part of me looks down on them, while the other part realizes there are plenty of people on this planet who could actually shame me. I have no interest in playing the rat race; I'm too smart and too creative to endure that grind. Maybe I'm just another loser—if so many people are scrambling, why would I be any different? I won't become just another cog in a broken social machine where people are so miserable they have to tear others down just to feel big, passing those traumas down through generations. Ah, life and its existential crises. Life can go straight to hell.
All in all, maybe I'll find some strength again. I wouldn't recommend checking out to anyone.