Posts by Michelle Evans

@countrywoman, I’m fairly certain they gave him a reason for the ban... You could always file a complaint with the HR department to get some clarity on why he was let go.
Alternatively, you can just shoot him a DM once he's back online, and if he feels like responding, he will.

Everything you assumed about what happened regarding that topic is actually incorrect.

ambercyclist50 said:What exactly did your therapist teach you? Responsibility? Selflessness? Being self-centered?

A whole lot of wonderful things. I remember once coming in and telling him... oh, wait... this isn't actually about me and my therapy sessions. 😵 My mistake, I lost my train of thought for a second.

Professional BPD therapy is incredibly expensive if you follow the clinical guidelines (minimum twice a week for 6-7 years). It’s basically the price of a new car. Who can actually afford that in the US? If these types of "therapies" actually helped anyone (and many have said they did), then it cost a fortune. Isn't that enough reason for the thread to exist in its current form?

They'll still find them useful, regardless of how they're delivered.

While you all sit here theorizing, so many people are suffering because of you. Wouldn't it be immature of me not to say that you're being selfish?

If things are truly that unbearable, there are emergency psychiatric services available; they should reach out to them. That’s what my therapist taught me, since you brought him up.

We would all make progress much faster if we weren't bickering here, leaving us more time for actual solutions. As long as this back-and-forth continues, none of us can focus on what needs to be done. So, I'm going to go work on that with my colleagues.

Bye! 👋

ambercyclist50 said:If you had asked Vilenjacica about this a few months ago, she would have said we were just insulting her. Yet lately, she’s clearly stated how helpful it was. Which version of Vilenjacica are we supposed to believe? Perhaps the moderators should be more well-versed in the complexities of BPD. It feels like an attack on someone's character, doesn't it?

They probably should be.
And there's certainly a conversation to be had about whose ego is actually being bruised here...

granitecyclist99 said:You haven't actually made a single point; you're just dodging with word games now... I'm not here to read someone else's mind, and besides... we're all adults here....

I'm not reading when I can't. If I can... 😢

ambercyclist50 said:There’s always a way to fix it, just ask if you’re unsure. There’s no shame in asking...

If you’re just looking for an excuse to lecture me on something you already know, then just say that. Don't bother asking me Why do you think someone left? I'm not in the mood for games...

ambercyclist50 said:Some things were left unanswered...

I missed it...

Who exactly was bothered by how that topic turned out? And who, exactly, found it perfectly acceptable... what’s the actual cost-benefit here? Pros and cons...

Who exactly do you mean by "which forum members"? Should I list them out one by one? I can't really say...

I can assure you that the flood of complaints and direct messages we've been receiving in our inboxes for months isn't just some collective hallucination... It’s clearly not just one person spamming us. It's obvious there's genuine dissatisfaction out there. Let's see if we can find a way to change things...

The turnout was clearly positive, judging by the number of sign-ups. I don't see any reason why we couldn't keep this momentum going, whether through a new thread or updated guidelines on the current one...

I don't keep exact numbers on how many people are happy versus unhappy...

casualwolf39 said:How can we even talk about BPD issues without addressing the worst consequences? Why is it acceptable for those with BPD to vent their feelings and struggles, while those without aren't allowed the same space? It’s two sides of the exact same coin.

Please take another look at what my actual post was referring to.

I wasn't saying these discussions won't happen—they will, just on a general level. They won't be centered on Vinin's specific thread unless that's specifically what she's struggling with.

To put it simply, Vinin's thread isn't going to become the new home for everyone just to continue a broader conversation. Is that clearer now?

Effective therapy for someone with BPD actually looks a lot like the last few pages of this thread. There are no soft words or empty reassurances. A person with BPD needs intense emotions to face the truth; that's the only way they learn. In fact, therapy often feels worse—it's more arguing, insults, and circling back to problematic situations. If you feel good after therapy, that's actually a bad sign. If you feel terrible, it's a good sign, because it means something inside you has shifted and change is coming.

You seem to have misunderstood; someone else already made that point above. This isn't a psychiatric hospital or a therapist's office.

I think it's wrong to claim some were discussing violence or promiscuity... To me, that's a sign that they can finally face their past, since admitting those things isn't easy. It's a way of healing the wound.

Those were just examples of what it means to start a personal thread.
And we don't have an issue with people talking about those topics within the BPD thread once it's opened. Or any other aspect of BPD. The topics discussed in the BPD thread weren't the problem itself.

Once again, please read what is being written before jumping into an argument. I really don't want to have to teach anyone how to read comprehension...

If you aren't someone with BPD, an ex-BPD, or a family member, these discussions probably just feel like insults to you. For the rest of us, this is a cultural, decent, and constructive dialogue that we learn from. 😬

In that case, you'll eventually learn how to adapt and communicate within the forum rules as well...

ambercyclist50 said:I’ve been focusing on what it means to let go... and how that actually leads to the outcome...

That's all part of the review process...
What am I upset about? Well, the decision to keep this topic temporarily locked...

I asked you what exactly this investigation of mine was all about, and you replied...

Maybe it's time to reconsider your position... Regarding that controversial closed thread... So, you're just going to walk away from the editorial policy you laid out....

Don't assume what my review should conclude...
Don't assume I haven't given this some serious thought...

Reading between the lines, it looks like at least one federal agent will be breathing down everyone's necks...

Another wrong assumption. Three times now... just like before...

The moderators have always struggled with how to handle threads like this... In the end, they just ended up stifling the conversation and driving away our most active contributors...

Alright. We'll give it a shot. We can always fall back on the old ways if we have to... We're pretty well acquainted with failure by now. We're adults, after all...

I wonder why Julian Assange, Max, Nicole Turner35, Anaconda, Graham, the author... and myself... all stopped posting over a year ago...

I can't read minds, you know. So I'm just repeating myself here...

ambercyclist50 said:How could it not be?! Just reconsider your stance on that controversial closed thread and drop the offensive attitude you've been showing. You know what they say, don't change horses midstream...

Then just say it plainly. I'm not a fan of hinting. It's too easy to misinterpret things... projection and all that.

All of us—meaning the moderators—will be thoroughly reviewing our positions on this topic. Otherwise, we won't be able to decide which direction to take regarding the options mentioned so far.

Why would you think I haven't revisited my views multiple times already? You seem focused on me backing down, but this could just as easily be seen as maintaining a decision. Which is exactly what it is. The thread stays locked. I explained why in the post above.

ambercyclist50 said:How do you explain why so many people are reading about something most have never even heard of before?

I can't exactly read the minds of everyone who wanders into this thread to figure out their motivations.
I can't read anyone's mind, including yours—I just want to know if this inquiry is actually leading somewhere or if it's just an exercise in itself. If there's a point to this, please be direct so we can actually discuss it...
Otherwise, I feel I've already covered all the important bases.

ambercyclist50 said:We shouldn't overlook the fact that even a "controversial" and "chaotic" topic like this one became the most read thread in the psychology section. Most people haven't even heard of BPD, unlike schizophrenia or depression. How else can we explain such high engagement? In just the last 24 hours, there were 650 visits, yet the thread was locked yesterday.

During the first 11 months of last year, the average daily readership was less than 150. How do we account for a nearly 500% surge?

One explanation might be that users on the Depression or Schizophrenia forums don't engage in heated arguments or bickering quite like this. When those rare clashes do happen over there, we see a sudden spike in both views and posts...
Some people—perhaps even most—simply enjoy reading about volatile topics, even without a personal connection. It’s basically bread and circuses, much like waiting for the next season of a favorite TV show to drop...

Right now, maintaining high readership feels like a lower priority than temporarily calming the atmosphere, which we felt had become a bit too intense and potentially harmful. We decided to put the numbers on the back burner for a moment. High traffic isn't everything...

@granitecyclist99/">@@granitecyclist99, @vividorca9/">@@vividorca9:
That kind of organization might work on a highly specialized, professional forum. It just doesn't fit here. That's why we don't have a dedicated section for Health, or Foot Fungus, or even a Gourmet Cooking subforum...

We need clear guidelines.

vividorca9 said:Wait, so I can start a thread about my own experiences with BPD and how it impacts my relationship, but I can't start a general discussion about BPD itself?

The administration will handle any general BPD topics.
Feel free to open a thread about whatever you're currently struggling with—your relationship, your job, family issues, or anything else. You mentioned you're going through a messy, complicated personal crisis and need support. Please, share what's on your mind...

Just a heads-up for anyone joining in—and we’ll include a disclaimer on your thread once it's live (either from me or a sub-mod)—that the focus will be on supporting you and your specific situation.

To give an example, since we don't have specific topic threads yet: discussions regarding violence in people with BPD aren't welcome unless that's your specific issue; stories about promiscuity among those with BPD won't be tolerated unless that is what you are personally dealing with.

This thread should remain focused on you.

granitecyclist99 said:I’m perfectly fine with this thread being locked. I fully support the moderators and everything they do to keep things orderly... especially Almost Rosey and Michelle Evans

Yeah, it was pretty obvious when you immediately started a trolling thread over on the general boards right after this one got shut down.

Just because the Psychology mods aren't running this specific section doesn't mean you have a free pass to troll. The same rules apply across the entire forum. Just stop it...

vividorca9 said:I just wanted to say that I’m going through a really messy and complicated personal crisis right now, and it means a lot to be able to write about my struggles on a thread where people will actually understand me (whether they have BPD or aren't—doesn't matter). Yesterday, I was honestly caught off guard and felt quite uncomfortable seeing the thread locked just to "punish" certain users for being disobedient.

Hi, vividorca9!

There are two main things to clarify here.

First, locking this thread has absolutely nothing to do with "punishing" anyone.

The thread is locked while we work out how to structure it properly (with clear guidelines posted) or until we can launch a new one that includes a link back to the old, locked version.

For years, this specific thread has struggled with the same issue, following a predictable pattern. The dynamic is such that after any period of quiet, communication quickly turns into subtle—or not so subtle—provocation and insults. I'm not saying it hasn't had its beautiful moments; it certainly has. Plenty of them. But what I am saying is that most of those bright moments eventually end in the same way—in destruction.

We want to redesign it so it's less stressful and frustrating for everyone involved. We need some time to step back and figure out the best way forward, so please bear with us...

Secondly, if you feel the need to vent about your current life struggles, you are more than welcome to start your own personal thread over on the Psychology forum. Or, you could look for an existing thread that touches on similar themes and join that conversation.
You can always find support on the Psychology forum.

All I ask is that you don't open a new general thread regarding BPD or partners of those with BPD.

I don't know, I truly believe we are capable of having constructive discussions there. What’s the solution then? Delete the most-read thread on the Psychology forum? It’s clearly useful to people (again, both those with BPD and their partners) and provides insight into how complex this condition is. 🤷

It hasn't been deleted. If it were gone, you wouldn't be able to see it. It's simply locked and remains available for anyone who wants to read it or find the information they need.

Look, if there's no other way, I suggest separating them, because it's obvious we can't function together on this single thread (again, BPD patients and their partners). Would it really be such a huge problem to open two distinct threads: one titled "Borderline Personality Disorder," and another called "Partners of those with BPD: experiences, advice, and opinions"?

There have been unsuccessful attempts to do exactly that in the past, from what I can tell by reading and cleaning up the archives. It usually ends with participants pushing each other toward the other thread or coming over just to provoke "the others."

Until now, the idea of splitting the threads has been rejected (even before the current moderation team took over), but we are certainly considering it...

Once again, please be patient and understanding!

There was an old thread discussing certain aspects of swearing that unfortunately died out. Maybe merging it with your topic will breathe some life back into it. I'm linking them now.

Best regards!

Are you some kind of representative for Hershey here in the States?

I’m trying to find the right insults to swap into these sentences, but I’m hitting a wall... My creative vocabulary for swearing is pretty stunted since I don't really use it...

I ate your Hershey bar, one square at a time.
Your Hershey bar has enough squares to feed half of Africa.

?

Look, I promise you won't get in trouble if you translate them for me. It's strictly for educational purposes... 😍

Jeremy Brooks6 said:Look, I’m not against medication, especially when it provides that strong, measurable impact needed for immediate results.
But generally speaking, I think we should try to avoid them whenever possible.
The reason is kind of simple—we live in such a fast-paced, high-energy world that demands you stay physically alert, which basically means being fully "present" in the moment.
Psychotropic drugs tend to dull that edge.
There are certain situations you just can't dodge—whether because of where you are or what's happening around you—but in every other scenario, I feel like you should try to be gentle and unobtrusive toward the world around you.
Take something that happened today—I was talking to someone dear to me, and we were actually sharing a good laugh, when suddenly this wave of aggression hits—and they start yelling at me to get out of the way.
In that split second, I was completely physically calm and alert—so I moved, watched the person (who was incredibly furious, honestly, I thought they might actually swing at me), as they stormed past me, probably not even hearing the quick apology I tossed their way.
It’s weird why they chose to pass right through that specific spot given how much open space there was, but that's beside the point.
Also, when you find yourself facing an dangerous person who is pushing things to the limit—using verbal or physical aggression against you (and often getting the crowd to back them up, since people usually side with the aggressor)—and you can't avoid the confrontation, it isn't really your physical strength that matters most (though that counts, of course). It's your mental fortitude—the ability to mentally crush an opponent so thoroughly that they won't even dream of trying that again with someone else.
I used real-life examples there just to make the point hit harder.
The same logic applies to life's general struggles and non-human problems that land in our laps.
Almost any psychiatric med, especially over the long haul, tends to blunt your reaction to the relationship between yourself and your environment.
I think it's healthy to feel the full spectrum—bravery and fear, victory and defeat, and yeah, even neurosis. You shouldn't run away from those mental and emotional states; you should experience them individually... without causing harm to the people around you.
😉

The AP reports have clear evidence, and schizophrenia is exactly the kind of condition that demands that level of intervention. Anything else is just wishful thinking.

Please, let's not revisit outdated threads. Anything from six years ago falls into that category.
Also, I'd suggest everyone review the forum rules before jumping in. Consider this a friendly heads-up... 🙂

Best regards!

Nicholas Gonzalez8 said:Look, my first piece of advice? Try to stay off the pills as much as possible. Most of those things just numb you out—they act like a temporary Band-Aid that makes you feel "fine" for a second, but they aren't a cure. They just mask the symptoms, and at the end of the day, you’re the one who has to roll up your sleeves and tackle the actual root cause.

At some point, you have to face the music: can you accept what happened, or not? It's in the rearview mirror now, and no amount of staring at it is going to change the past. So, you're left with a choice:

1. Sit around moping about what used to be and let the present slip right through your fingers
2. Snap out of it, get present, and actually start building a future worth having

Life is basically just one long series of ups and downs—it's a roller coaster, and that's just how it works. What really matters isn't the drop; it's how you handle the ride. An optimist looks at a mess and sees an opening, while a pessimist looks at a golden opportunity and somehow finds a way to complain about it. That mindset dictates everything—how you react and where you end up. If you make the conscious decision to lean toward optimism, things actually start shifting. Think about it—most legendary American entrepreneurs, the ones you see on the cover of Forbes, usually go belly-up at least three times before they finally hit it big. But they don't just quit; they rebuild from nothing better than anyone else because they know they have the agency to make it happen. You just have to be brave enough to take the risk and move forward.

Start dedicating some time every single day to learning the mechanics of success and happiness—read the books, dive into the articles, listen to people who've been there. And for heaven's sake, when you learn something useful, actually use it. That's what worked for me, and I truly believe it'll work for you too.🙂

Nicholas, please don't use this forum to suggest people alter their prescribed treatments. Everything else is fine, but this crosses a line and breaks the rules.
BAP is a serious chronic condition, and staying on your therapy is absolutely essential for life. Playing doctor on your own can lead to a sudden medical crisis, and those complications can be much harder on your body than the actual medication...

Best, 🙂

neontinker5 said:If you mess with the mods or just annoy enough random users, does that mean you can't get a permanent ban?... 😲 😁

How exactly did you reach that conclusion?... 😁

There aren't many things that are perfectly normal and moral, yet few teenagers actually follow them. Experimentation is just part of their DNA. 😁 They come up with all sorts of wild ideas, and sometimes, they actually go through with them.

Are you always this hard on yourself, in every single area of your life?