Posts by Sandra Parker3

crimsonheron80 said:Hmm. But from what I saw, those people looked like an absolute nightmare. They were screaming for votes like rabid animals, completely lost. Honestly, watching it made me physically ill. WTF... do they even possess basic human emotions? What makes them human?

you might be talking about people with severe intellectual disabilities here

so why on earth would anyone call them monsters?

in this specific case, it was stated that he was (or is) perfectly fine intellectually

crimsonheron80 said:I honestly have no idea what a "monster" actually is. Can someone explain it to me? I can't even find a clear definition online.

I remember once walking past this certain institution where there were these distorted, deformed people wandering through the garden, screaming and wailing...😱
During the war, everyone fled that facility and ran through the streets completely naked.🤷

It isn't about being intellectually disabled or having some specific disorder or illness. My mother used to call them "monsters"—and later, a relative of mine studying medicine said the same thing. I still don't quite grasp what that term actually implies. Most people just are, I suppose.🤷😕😂

it can only be described as human

but you really only use that term when there isn't some other specific label you can pin on someone, since everyone gets so worked up that they just throw out a heavy word to settle the matter, I guess.

Honestly, I’m more interested in what's going on inside his lawyer's head:

"Fritzl isn't a monster"

Fritzl's attorney, Rudolf Mayer, keeps trying to convince the public and the jury that his client isn't some kind of monster.

"Fritzl isn't the sexual monster the media portrays him to be. If he were, he would have kept his family in much worse conditions and killed them all, rather than putting a Mickey Mouse poster on the wall, bringing them gifts and a tree and celebratingChristmas with them," Mayer stated, leaving everyone absolutely stunned.

I get how defense attorneys work, but there's a limit to how you can frame a case
what kind of person actually says stuff like this—does the guy have some kind of mental issue too?

I mean... gifts, posters, a tree, Christmas... what is he even trying to imply? What kind of twisted symbolism is that? 🤮 🦈

James Cooper76 said:I don't have BPD. Honestly, no doctor has ever given me that diagnosis. Not every personality quirk or struggle is Borderline Personality Disorder. People with BPD tend to put someone on a pedestal just to tear them down later, but I don't play those games. And I don't do self-harm either. I actually have a close friend who deals with BPD, so I'm pretty familiar with what that looks like.

When I talked about "limited choices," I wasn't even aiming at you.
I almost wouldn't bother telling you that you took it the wrong way, but I really need to say it for my own peace of mind
Also, the razor wasn't being used for the reason you're implying; it could have just as easily been a cookie.
Regarding that electronic signature thing, I’d love to add one more person to the list, but it’s not that I won't—it's just that I'm not allowed to.

James Cooper76 said:They've got some right here

Check out velvetrider's signature and try narrowing down your choices while you're rambling on about those thin, flimsy, razor-sharp blades...

rowdyjackal5 said:Look, those points from 1 to 7 are actually correct.

But this part here:

People with Paranoid Personality Disorder often possess a fierce sense of independence and tend to be highly critical of others.
Furthermore, they frequently develop negative stereotypes about people who don't share their specific worldview (you should definitely check out those PDFs on Religion and Politics).
Their suspicion regarding the bad intentions of others can manifest as heated arguments, or alternatively, through total withdrawal (the "ignore" option).
They prefer staying within the "safety of their own home"
and frequently misuse alcohol or other psychoactive substances (marijuana, LSD, tranquilizers, etc.).

none of that is accurate, not even a little bit.

I thought you were talking about the previous post, you weren't being clear at all

but seriously, you still haven't explained why you actually think that

rowdyjackal5 said:The part you copy-pasted is actually correct, but what you wrote yourself just isn't accurate

Great.
One more thing...
Could you please explain your reasoning? Thanks.

Kenneth Peterson5 said:Ha, in this day and age, where there's a predator lurking behind every digital corner, it’s hardly surprising that being "hyper-vigilant" is basically a survival skill. Add to that the frantic pace of life forced on us by tech, and honestly, Panic Disorder should be the default setting for everyone.
I really wonder what happens when Panic Disorder teams up with being Paranoid—because given the direction this world is heading, I wouldn't be shocked if we all ended up there. 😲😁

You're talking about projection... and you're spot on.

Man, the paranoia is real. 😁

Sha? Look, I'm telling you straight up, it’s not just some paranoid delusion; there are actually objective reasons behind those claims, and Sha then 🤣

I can't shake the feeling that you finally saw what was actually going on

Kenneth Peterson5 said:Nah, this thread wasn't started by a mod, just some random user.
I think your paranoia is just acting up. 🤣

Actually, the quotation marks are exactly where they need to be. Why?
Because people dealing with Paranoid Personality Disorder tend to feel way more comfortable "inside the walls of their own home," and since they handle stress so poorly, there's a higher risk of developing Agoraphobia.

Now, I get what you were getting at, and we really ought to distinguish between "cults"—where a bunch of "fanatics" band together because they share a specific paranoid belief system—and just members of minority groups.

Some things are culturally driven, some are social, and then there are specific life situations that drive certain people to huddle together in groups that essentially ignore the outside world (the majority) while displaying defensive or hyper-cautious behavior. The surrounding community usually reacts to these groups with frustration, annoyance, or even straight-up rage, which just completes the loop of mutual distrust.

Take the animal rights crowd on Reddit, for instance—they have this specific subgroup that fights for animal rights through their posts.
Since their views are in the minority, it leads to that exact cycle of isolation and backlash I mentioned.

What's your take, Sha? I’m being dead serious here when I suggest that half the people hanging out on this Reddit thread probably struggle with this disorder.
Obviously, Narcissistic, Schizotypal, Schizoid, Borderline, and Avoidant disorders share a ton of common ground with Paranoid tendencies, and they often show up side-by-side with Paranoia.
There are nuances that set them apart, sure, but you also have to consider how certain "threatening circumstances"—you know, like having to watch your mouth so you don't end up getting canned from your job😁—can actually bake those paranoid traits deeper into someone's psyche until they become permanent.

Why the pushback, my friend lonegardener? Are you starting to see some of those paranoid streaks in yourself too?🤣

Oh, absolutely. People with Paranoid Personality Disorder are always objecting, criticizing, or holding grudges. On top of that, they view any critique directed at them as a personal attack and feel this desperate need to get even.
They never, ever apologize for their own screw-ups.

I also wanted to touch on something else—unless it was already covered in that intro post or somewhere else, I can't quite recall😁

since I've been called Paranoid or just a total pathology by certain people... it’s mentioned in a few spots if a certain colleague cares to remember😁
well, I have a bit of an observation regarding that

I've noticed that the exact kind of people who could easily be diagnosed with, I don't know, Paranoid Personality Disorder or whatever the clinical term is...

are actually the ones who "find" those traits in others, projecting them onto anyone they clash with and labeling them as sick or paranoid...
it's one of those things that used to fascinate me until I realized that this is literally their whole modus operandi, which is probably part of the symptoms itself...🙄

Kenneth Peterson5 said:Nah, this thread wasn't started by a mod, just some random user.
I think your paranoia is just acting up. 🤣

Actually, the quotation marks are exactly where they need to be. Why?
Because people dealing with Paranoid Personality Disorder tend to feel way more comfortable "inside the walls of their own home," and since they handle stress so poorly, there's a higher risk of developing Agoraphobia.

Now, I get what you were getting at, and we really ought to distinguish between "cults"—where a bunch of "fanatics" band together because they share a specific paranoid belief system—and just members of minority groups.

Some things are culturally driven, some are social, and then there are specific life situations that drive certain people to huddle together in groups that essentially ignore the outside world (the majority) while displaying defensive or hyper-cautious behavior. The surrounding community usually reacts to these groups with frustration, annoyance, or even straight-up rage, which just completes the loop of mutual distrust.

Take the animal rights crowd on Reddit, for instance—they have this specific subgroup that fights for animal rights through their posts.
Since their views are in the minority, it leads to that exact cycle of isolation and backlash I mentioned.

What's your take, Sha? I’m being dead serious here when I suggest that half the people hanging out on this Reddit thread probably struggle with this disorder.
Obviously, Narcissistic, Schizotypal, Schizoid, Borderline, and Avoidant disorders share a ton of common ground with Paranoid tendencies, and they often show up side-by-side with Paranoia.
There are nuances that set them apart, sure, but you also have to consider how certain "threatening circumstances"—you know, like having to watch your mouth so you don't end up getting canned from your job😁—can actually bake those paranoid traits deeper into someone's psyche until they become permanent.

Why the pushback, my friend lonegardener? Are you starting to see some of those paranoid streaks in yourself too?🤣

Oh, absolutely. People with Paranoid Personality Disorder are always objecting, criticizing, or holding grudges. On top of that, they view any critique directed at them as a personal attack and feel this desperate need to get even.
They never, ever apologize for their own screw-ups.

nothing for me
but it looks like you're prepping for a moderator role, adjusting your vocabulary and everything... 😉

Ugh, I honestly can't be bothered to slog through that massive opening post again. Seriously, props for the breakdown, but... I'm just not sure if all these people who constantly nitpick actually fall into that "disordered" category too. 🤷

And don't even get me started on the little cliques hanging out here
and those people using air quotes

Kenneth Peterson5 said:Hey everyone,
I’ve been scrolling through Reddit and I noticed there isn't a single serious thread about the specific disorder mentioned in the title—which is crazy, because honestly, looking at some of the behavior from users like 😲, there are plenty of red flags right here. So, I figured I'd drop a little breakdown of what we're actually talking about.

First off, here are the official diagnostic criteria for you guys:

A. This involves a pervasive pattern of distrust and suspiciousness toward others, where their motives are interpreted as malicious. It starts in early adulthood and shows up in various situations via four (or more) of these traits:
1) They assume, without any real evidence, that other people are out to exploit, deceive, or screw them over.
2) They’re constantly obsessed with unjustified doubts regarding the loyalty or trustworthiness of their friends or colleagues.
3) They refuse to confide in anyone because they’re terrified that whatever info they give will be used against them.
4) They hold grudges constantly—basically, they can't let go of perceived insults, contempt, or injuries.
5) They look for humiliating or threatening subtext in even totally benign remarks or events.
6) They notice attacks on their character or reputation that nobody else even sees, and then they react instantly and aggressively, usually by going on the offensive.
7) They frequently, and without cause, doubt the faithfulness of a spouse or sexual partner.

B. You don't diagnose this if it's happening strictly during Schizophrenia, a Mood Disorder with psychotic features, or any other Psychotic Disorder—or if it's caused by direct physiological effects, like a neurological issue (think temporal lobe epilepsy).

To put this in plain English regarding our little community here:

Basically, it's suspecting that everyone is plotting conspiracies against them—like thinking the moderators, specifically 😁, are out to get them for no reason at all (just check the DSM manual if you don't believe me).
Then there’s the unjustified suspicion regarding whether friends or fellow users are being loyal—constantly overanalyzing everyone's "bad intentions." (I mean, just look at how much people freak out about those supposed "clones" attacking us all the time 😁).
And if that loyalty turns out to be real—like, if a user someone thinks is a "malicious" clone 😲😁 suddenly does something genuinely nice—they won't accept it. Why? Because they can't trust them. (Because they're a clone, obviously, right? 🤣).
Then there’s the fear of being sincere; hardly anyone here wants to use their real name because they're terrified that even basic info will be weaponized against them.
If a user (or heaven forbid, a moderator) tries to help out with a problem—say, a poorly formatted thread—that user might take it as a personal jab, assuming they're being called stupid.
And don't even get me started on how often a simple joke is taken as a massive personal attack. 😲
When someone—and god forbid it's a moderator 🤣—slightly undermines a user, it creates these bitter feelings that just linger forever.
Then you see those insane counter-attacks in discussions because someone felt their reputation was bruised (or maybe that's why people start handing out bans so impulsively? 🤣).

But check this part out:
People with paranoid personality disorder often have an intense sense of independence and are incredibly critical of everyone else.
On top of that, they tend to develop negative stereotypes about anyone who doesn't share their exact worldview (you really see this in the threads about Religion and Politics).
People who think everyone is out to get them might go off on some wild, heated rants, or they just shut down completely—you know, that whole "ignore" tactic.
They’re obsessed with staying tucked away in the "safety of their own homes"
and they end up leaning way too hard on booze or other stuff like weed, LSD, or prescription pills just to cope.

So, there it is, folks. Given what we've talked about, how many of us here on Reddit actually deal with paranoid personality disorder? 😁

Haha, I actually noticed this one first myself.
But honestly, those quotation marks should be around "home"
because they aren't talking about an actual house, and let's be real, safety is something we're all chasing right now, though I won't speak for everyone else...

So, you have this sense of security built on things like:
belonging to certain subreddits (safe havens), regional ties, loyalty to "certain" authorities... etc. I'll try to remember more later, my brain isn't quite firing on all cylinders right now.🙂 It’s fascinating how this whole "supportive" act plays out through constant monitoring and groupthink—you know, the whole "I got your back" thing, where people just trade stupid emojis like 🙏 or 👍. You always see the same crowd essentially co-signing each other's posts.
To me, it feels pathological; I honestly don't know what kind of diagnosis to slap on it, but when I'm hanging out with someone close, I don't feel the need to blindly validate every single idea they post online—in fact, I often avoid it—but look at this mess...

I won't even touch the second point; it's just a total smokescreen.🙄 😍

A slightly shorter opening post wouldn't hurt either, but whatever... 🤷

edit:

Oh, I see that last question now.
I get skeptical sometimes too, not that I'm faking it, but I wouldn't go so far as to say it qualifies as a personality disorder, though... 🤷 😁

Adam Miller46 said:I honestly think you're being ridiculous... ☕
Is this constant irritability a regular thing for you, or does it only happen when you fail to dominate a conversation? Or maybe it's just PMS?
🤔

I said the process was ridiculous, not you.
(Though clearly, I'm still stuck talking about myself instead of sticking to the topic)

Anyway, whenever someone gives me a "general" quote like that, I always make sure to fact-check how accurate they actually are.

You wouldn't believe it until you try 😁 🙄it
yourself.

I honestly don't have the energy to deal with this right now. Just another day of nonsense. kaže:
Here we go again, constantly finding ourselves stuck in this loop of having to defend our own positions... honestly, it feels like you’re the only one who actually remembers that comment about being. She’s just financially unstable.Malice is just who you are—you've proven that yourself. Honestly, what man dreams about a woman whose parents are footing the bill for every single date? Is that coming from personal experience or what? 😁 Whatever, thanks for the heads-up.

I'm just laying out the facts here—not making excuses, though I honestly have no clue what you're getting at—but just to give you some general direction.

I’m not being vindictive, I just have a hell of a memory, so don't try to test me. Actually, go ahead and keep doing what you're doing—since you felt the need to add that little "evil" label to my memory, I'm sure you've got your reasons. 🙄

Just a little tip: stop making it all about the person when you disagree. It’s getting pretty ridiculous on this forum lately, and honestly, it just makes you look bad.
No effect at all, kid. 🙄

I honestly don't have much to say about this, but I guess I'll just sit here and watch the whole thing unfold while everyone else loses their minds. kaže:
When it comes to relationships, I don't see the point in anything other than marriage being a serious commitment.
And regarding all this convincing and deconvincing you're doing—did it ever actually cross your mind, independent of your own ego, that you're completely missing the core issue here? A philosophical deep dive into the dynamics between men and women.It all comes down to someone else's specific life circumstances and their own personal struggles. ☕

Man, if you’d just told me upfront that this scrap of paper carried that much weight, I wouldn't be sitting here again. Honestly, you aren't wrong—it really is a serious connection given all the legal red tape involved, but if you ignore everything else, you're basically clueless.

I mean, come on—you aren't exactly going to jump straight into marriage without some actual history first, right?
Either you actually put in the work, or you’re just sitting there waiting for some kind of miracle to happen.

And to wrap this up with you... regarding the topic at hand, you made your point, and I only reacted just enough to address the "issue," because honestly, one shouldn't let themselves get any more worked up by being forced into that outdated gender role where the man is expected to be the sole provider.

Hannah White2 said:Look, you’ve got massive potential—honestly, just those few sentences you wrote are enough for me to see it. On one hand, you should actually be thankful for the chaos around you; it’s what forces you to step back and figure out who you really are.
On the flip side, you need boundaries. You need them.
There isn't a single person on this planet who can laugh at you. Sometimes we humans get stuck in this delusion where we think we’re way smarter than we actually are. In reality, we’re just a bunch of stubborn idiots convinced we have life figured out.
Go grab some books on "pop psychology" and start reading. Age doesn't matter here—for all I know, I might be talking to a future billionaire.

If you had these built-in defense mechanisms from birth, you wouldn't even be in a position to reflect on yourself or the world around you.
Think about the massive handicap people face when they just drift through life without noticing how their environment is reacting to them. They're just stumbling around blindly...

It’s beautiful, really—I haven't met anyone whose inner strength hasn't completely taken over them.
Plus, let's be real: women tend to look for money or status—that's basically their aphrodisiac. Otherwise, Bebek would never even get a look-in...
Then there's confidence. Once you actually nail that, people swarm you like bees to sugar. Men and women alike. That’s why being strong and knowing how to say "NO" is everything—so many people don't know how to do that, and they'll try to drain your energy. I'm telling you this from experience.

Hey Hannah White2, have you ever actually stopped to wonder if all those "Bebeks" out there have anything to offer besides just fame and money?
If you don't agree, then you're basically just being discriminatory—get it? Because by saying that, you're implying that having money is the only thing that actually matters.
I’d say you’re totally missing the forest for the trees here... basically, because of your intense bias against women, you've ended up veering into discriminating against men too—correct me if I'm wrong, but that seems to be what's happening.

Adam Miller46 said:Looking at the bolded parts, regarding money, anything is possible. But realistically, a guy from a small town can't expect Ivanka Trump to parachute out of a helicopter, land on his family farm, propose to him, and offer financial security followed by a fairy tale ending of "happily ever after." Maybe you're that soft-hearted, but we aren't all the same.
☕
And most men from rural areas appreciate women who are more home-oriented—you know, people who enjoy cooking, baking, and raising kids. I haven't heard of a single farmer looking for a corporate manager, nor vice versa.
If you have an example that can change my mind, please, lay it on me.....
I'm not counting men who grew up in the country but spend all their time in the city.
Also, I'm fairly certain no woman looking for a serious relationship dreams of a man whose outings, even just grabbing coffee, are funded by his parents... unless she's "charitable" like you.😁

Look, if you want to imply it’s actually the other way around, that's totally fine by me.
I honestly can't even be bothered to comment on all this jumping around nonsense.

Adam Miller46 said:Looking at the bolded parts, regarding money, anything is possible. But realistically, a guy from a small town can't expect Ivanka Trump to parachute out of a helicopter, land on his family farm, propose to him, and offer financial security followed by a fairy tale ending of "happily ever after." Maybe you're that soft-hearted, but we aren't all the same.
☕
And most men from rural areas appreciate women who are more home-oriented—you know, people who enjoy cooking, baking, and raising kids. I haven't heard of a single farmer looking for a corporate manager, nor vice versa.
If you have an example that can change my mind, please, lay it on me.....
I'm not counting men who grew up in the country but spend all their time in the city.
Also, I'm fairly certain no woman looking for a serious relationship dreams of a man whose outings, even just grabbing coffee, are funded by his parents... unless she's "charitable" like you.😁

Seriously, have you forgotten that I’m completely broke right now, or what?🤔 I honestly can't remember what you were complaining about being "extracted" from last time.

Adam Miller46 said:Looking at the bolded parts, regarding money, anything is possible. But realistically, a guy from a small town can't expect Ivanka Trump to parachute out of a helicopter, land on his family farm, propose to him, and offer financial security followed by a fairy tale ending of "happily ever after." Maybe you're that soft-hearted, but we aren't all the same.
☕
And most men from rural areas appreciate women who are more home-oriented—you know, people who enjoy cooking, baking, and raising kids. I haven't heard of a single farmer looking for a corporate manager, nor vice versa.
If you have an example that can change my mind, please, lay it on me.....
I'm not counting men who grew up in the country but spend all their time in the city.
Also, I'm fairly certain no woman looking for a serious relationship dreams of a man whose outings, even just grabbing coffee, are funded by his parents... unless she's "charitable" like you.😁

I don't see any point in trying to talk sense into you, since I've already figured out exactly where you stand.
Honestly, I’m just looking to squeeze a little more out of you—sort of like a bit of self-inflicted torture.

And you think it’s just small towns, farming, and cookies? That's all there is to it, huh?

Adam Miller46 said:Looking at the bolded parts, regarding money, anything is possible. But realistically, a guy from a small town can't expect Ivanka Trump to parachute out of a helicopter, land on his family farm, propose to him, and offer financial security followed by a fairy tale ending of "happily ever after." Maybe you're that soft-hearted, but we aren't all the same.
☕
And most men from rural areas appreciate women who are more home-oriented—you know, people who enjoy cooking, baking, and raising kids. I haven't heard of a single farmer looking for a corporate manager, nor vice versa.
If you have an example that can change my mind, please, lay it on me.....
I'm not counting men who grew up in the country but spend all their time in the city.
Also, I'm fairly certain no woman looking for a serious relationship dreams of a man whose outings, even just grabbing coffee, are funded by his parents... unless she's "charitable" like you.😁

Well, if possible, let's aim for somewhere in Chicago. 🙄🤣

Adam Miller46 said:Looking at the bolded parts, regarding money, anything is possible. But realistically, a guy from a small town can't expect Ivanka Trump to parachute out of a helicopter, land on his family farm, propose to him, and offer financial security followed by a fairy tale ending of "happily ever after." Maybe you're that soft-hearted, but we aren't all the same.
☕
And most men from rural areas appreciate women who are more home-oriented—you know, people who enjoy cooking, baking, and raising kids. I haven't heard of a single farmer looking for a corporate manager, nor vice versa.
If you have an example that can change my mind, please, lay it on me.....
I'm not counting men who grew up in the country but spend all their time in the city.
Also, I'm fairly certain no woman looking for a serious relationship dreams of a man whose outings, even just grabbing coffee, are funded by his parents... unless she's "charitable" like you.😁

I'm honestly just curious, purely out of interest, what exactly defines a "woman for a serious relationship" in your book?

The fact that you're circling back to attack me again, well, I get it. 🙏

It’s not like I ever claimed an unemployed man is some kind of "dream guy" that some Trump should be funding; I was simply addressing your obsession with the necessity of having a job (which basically means financial independence) specifically when it comes to men
.
For your information, very few men dream of a woman whose parents foot the bill for their dates, so naturally, he'll eventually step up and take over that role himself. It's not that they don't exist, but unlike you, I don't view it as "charity"—it's actually quite the opposite
or maybe it is "charity," but directed toward oneself
but hey, you could argue either way, I guess

velvetsailor26 said:By the way, you should really take a look at his thread from last year. He’s only 26, and he’s out there working some farm somewhere in the Midwest.👎

Oh, please, you’re reading all this junk too? People around here are actually pretty sharp.
Honestly, your takes on his original post are way more interesting than the actual post itself. 😉

Adam Miller46 said:There you go again, picking a fight! You never tire of it... honestly, how would I manage without you? 🤷
If she were a woman, hmmm, he wouldn't even need a college degree. You know those guys from the rural Midwest—they really value a good homemaker. ☕

I'm not fighting, I was just asking you a serious question about why a man is expected to have a job "because he's a man"🙄

So, did you just say something you didn't actually mean again? 🤷

Adam Miller46 said:There you go again, picking a fight! You never tire of it... honestly, how would I manage without you? 🤷
If she were a woman, hmmm, he wouldn't even need a college degree. You know those guys from the rural Midwest—they really value a good homemaker. ☕

It wasn't about having a degree, it was about employment and having actual, tangible money to work with—like being able to buy a round for your friends, or just not relying on someone else for everything
or are you suggesting it's perfectly fine for a woman to be supported while the man acts as the sole provider?

I have no idea where you got the notion that guys from the Midwest value housewives more than anyone else, but even if that were true, being a "housewife" doesn't mean you can't have a degree, and just because someone doesn't have a degree doesn't mean they aren't educated... or automatically unemployed, it's just a circular argument

Or do you honestly think guys from small towns are just old-fashioned and want their wives to stay at home? 😁
Maybe they just want total control, and let's face it, there's no better way to exert control than through finances, at least initially

Or, quite simply, you just weren't thinking 🤷

Adam Miller46 said:

ironwolf82 Asks:
After years of experience, I am almost certain that people mock me. Life has been incredibly difficult for me, and the weight of all those hardships and frustrations is written all over my face. I live in a tiny town where everyone knows everyone else's business.
I am 29 years old, and I feel as though I have achieved very little. I am not married—though my community expects me to have two children by now—and I am currently unemployed despite having a college degree. I lack a serious relationship, and I struggle deeply with my appearance and my ability to attract women. It is difficult to face. I rarely venture out because I feel like such a failure. When I do, people—both young and old—immediately mock me or look away. It makes me terrified to leave the house, and when I am out, I just look panicked. Based on how they react, I can tell they think my face is a joke and that I'm just some idiot who hasn't accomplished anything in life. All of this leaves me feeling incredibly low, and my quality of life feels diminished. On top of my existing struggles, this constant blow to my self-esteem makes me truly unhappy. I have never intentionally caused harm to anyone. I find myself wondering why people harbor such resentment toward me. Why am I so disliked?It is their right to judge me however they please. Yet, I struggle deeply to stop it from hurting. This weighs heavily on my heart. Why is that?
I will say this again: I have done no harm to anyone, nor have I mocked a single soul. There is simply no reason for such hostility. I sit here wondering why people act this way—why they seem to crave seeing me struggle or suffer. Why does it matter? I am merely living my life, and that should be enough.
I could really use someone to talk to. I need some advice on how to overcome my own internal struggles. I truly don't know how to find a way forward. I am 29 years old.

You are overthinking this. Most people around us rarely look past their own immediate needs, regardless of how we perceive them. We are all the protagonists of our own stories. Please, don't be so hard on yourself. The only person who truly dislikes you in this thread is you. To everyone else, you are likely just a shadow. It is up to you to use your actions and attitudes to help them see you as a unique, positive, and engaged individual. People are easy to influence—it's just that you seem to hesitate at the very first step.
If you aren't happy with where you are, you can always pack your bags and move on. Perhaps you simply weren't meant to stay in this small town.

And yes, since you are a man, if you want things to follow their natural course, you really should have a job. Always. It isn't necessarily about working in your specific field, but if you plan on being unemployed, you simply must find work. 👎Let’s be honest: no woman wants a guy who can't even afford a cup of coffee. How is a man like that supposed to provide for a family?
Nobody wants to back a guy whose crew needs funding, and he's never even willing to buy a round.
Nobody wants to be around someone who has nothing to offer but constant complaints. It is quite draining.
Is there anyone else? Perhaps just my mother.
So, grow up. 👍
No one is to blame for the circumstances they struggled to survive, but the past shouldn't be allowed to dictate the future. We have so much power to change our lives; we just often lack the awareness to see it. For instance, if you spend twenty-nine years in a tiny rural town, you feel old—but move to New York City, and suddenly you’re just getting started. Who even thinks about marriage before thirty in a place like that? One must learn to distinguish between their own true convictions and the toxic attitudes imposed by a small-town environment.

🤣

Oh, excuse me, honey, so what is it a woman needs to do for things to go their "natural course"????????????????

Have a working man on standby (even if he's in the wrong field)? 🙄

I see you edited your post, but it didn't change a single thing about what was already said...

silentmarlin96 said:Here’s the million-dollar question: Are men actually sending these ambiguous signals, or are we women just overthinking things so much that we turn a simple "hello" into some deep, hidden subtext? 🙂
Look, if you’ve given it your absolute best shot and you still can't make heads or tails of what he's saying... then he probably doesn't know either. He's just keeping you guessing. And honestly? That kind of uncertainty is exhausting. 🙂

spot on

if you can't make sense of someone, it's because they don't know what they want either 🙄

Hannah White2 said:Look, we're getting way too deep into psychology here—it’s really not that black and white. He sends you a signal, basically begging you to validate him—to show him he's smart, strong, hot, or whatever ego boost he thinks he's lacking. It’s rarely about actually caring for you.

I don't get it—if you meet up before things get physical (which, let's face it, always happens first), the seed curve works differently🤷

I'm talking about a long period of getting to know someone without jumping into bed—have you ever actually tried that? You know, the kind of thing they don't show you on "Sex and the City."
The curve stays the same; the intervals might just shift, but nothing lasts forever. A guy who’s willing to wait a few months isn't just going to vanish and ghost you the second he gets lucky...

these aren't even ambiguous messages from women
a short skirt and a low neckline is a direct signal. One person, one message, you feel me? Ambiguity is just something people make up in their own heads.

You were never actually in a position to have some guy go wild on you. Honestly, you were just trying too hard to be liked because you weren't feeling secure in yourself...

This feels more like a philosophy debate; if you start from the premise that everything we do is ultimately for our own benefit, then fine, whatever...
but yeah, he actually does care, because without me... who else is going to give him that validation, tell him how much he's worth, or say: 🙂
The reality is that people can't truly realize their potential without external validation; there's this assumption that a standard exists, which means a specific person has been chosen to be "seduced" (meaning you have to demonstrate your value, otherwise they won't engage, and that's where the whole "he doesn't care" thing comes in 👍 😛)

Hannah White2 said:Look, we're getting way too deep into psychology here—it’s really not that black and white. He sends you a signal, basically begging you to validate him—to show him he's smart, strong, hot, or whatever ego boost he thinks he's lacking. It’s rarely about actually caring for you.

I don't get it—if you meet up before things get physical (which, let's face it, always happens first), the seed curve works differently🤷

I'm talking about a long period of getting to know someone without jumping into bed—have you ever actually tried that? You know, the kind of thing they don't show you on "Sex and the City."
The curve stays the same; the intervals might just shift, but nothing lasts forever. A guy who’s willing to wait a few months isn't just going to vanish and ghost you the second he gets lucky...

these aren't even ambiguous messages from women
a short skirt and a low neckline is a direct signal. One person, one message, you feel me? Ambiguity is just something people make up in their own heads.

You were never actually in a position to have some guy go wild on you. Honestly, you were just trying too hard to be liked because you weren't feeling secure in yourself...

🤣
I have, and when I didn't give in, the outcome was exactly the same 🙄

Hannah White2 said:Look, we're getting way too deep into psychology here—it’s really not that black and white. He sends you a signal, basically begging you to validate him—to show him he's smart, strong, hot, or whatever ego boost he thinks he's lacking. It’s rarely about actually caring for you.

I don't get it—if you meet up before things get physical (which, let's face it, always happens first), the seed curve works differently🤷

I'm talking about a long period of getting to know someone without jumping into bed—have you ever actually tried that? You know, the kind of thing they don't show you on "Sex and the City."
The curve stays the same; the intervals might just shift, but nothing lasts forever. A guy who’s willing to wait a few months isn't just going to vanish and ghost you the second he gets lucky...

these aren't even ambiguous messages from women
a short skirt and a low neckline is a direct signal. One person, one message, you feel me? Ambiguity is just something people make up in their own heads.

You were never actually in a position to have some guy go wild on you. Honestly, you were just trying too hard to be liked because you weren't feeling secure in yourself...

The type who is just going to disappear will do it whether it takes a few days or a few months, it's all the same
Time doesn't matter to someone like that; it's all about the objective
and they send a very loud, unmistakable message: I am capable, powerful, handsome, and I couldn't care less about you or anyone else in the world

Hannah White2 said:Look, we're getting way too deep into psychology here—it’s really not that black and white. He sends you a signal, basically begging you to validate him—to show him he's smart, strong, hot, or whatever ego boost he thinks he's lacking. It’s rarely about actually caring for you.

I don't get it—if you meet up before things get physical (which, let's face it, always happens first), the seed curve works differently🤷

I'm talking about a long period of getting to know someone without jumping into bed—have you ever actually tried that? You know, the kind of thing they don't show you on "Sex and the City."
The curve stays the same; the intervals might just shift, but nothing lasts forever. A guy who’s willing to wait a few months isn't just going to vanish and ghost you the second he gets lucky...

these aren't even ambiguous messages from women
a short skirt and a low neckline is a direct signal. One person, one message, you feel me? Ambiguity is just something people make up in their own heads.

You were never actually in a position to have some guy go wild on you. Honestly, you were just trying too hard to be liked because you weren't feeling secure in yourself...

I'm not
not attacking you personally—it’s enough just to observe without getting all aggressive about it (and by that, I mean my vibe, not when I wear a mini skirt)

we just need to settle this whole debate regarding insecurity, short skirts, and playing coy in public...
first off, wanting to catch someone's eye doesn't automatically make you insecure or pathetic (referring back to your first post)
second, the fact that someone dressed a certain way doesn't actually reveal their intentions until you link it to how they actually act

and look, some people see one message in an outfit, while others see two or three... just make sure you haven't totally misread the situation before you decide to make a move

slypuma17 said:Spot on! 😂
But honestly, men aren't responsible for female overthinking when there isn't even a poet in the room to begin with. He said what he said. Repeat after me: "He said what he said."
The issue is that women tend to overvalue these poor guys. It's a problem, but in the female psyche, men are never at fault for that particular brand of confusion.
I’m telling you, men are wonderful precisely because they're simple. I love that about them. 😍

I had a complete epiphany back when I was twenty: life is much easier once you grasp this one simple truth. There is no "what did he mean?" or "what was his intention?" Kuis, it was said, and that's that. Stop the interpretation and the endless exegesis.
If women could just stick to that, life would be infinitely smoother. But, you know how it is—reality is often far too shallow and mundane compared to our imaginations. That's why they go hunting for poetic metaphors and hidden meanings, treating every minor interaction like a line from a sonnet. 😁

Or maybe he’s avoiding conversation. Perhaps he’s preoccupied with what to do if he loses his job during this recession. Or perhaps he just isn't interested.

That sounds like putting oneself at the center of the universe. "He won't talk = he's not interested." No, maybe he won't talk because of X, Y, or Z. Maybe he just doesn't feel like chatting right now. And frankly, women don't need to be constantly talking either—at least not me. I don't see the big deal. 🤷

Or leaving right after sex (not staying the night). Maybe he has to get up early and doesn't want to wake me. Or maybe he just doesn't care.

Well, sleeping alone is actually quite nice; you get a decent night's rest.
Cuddling is lovely and all, but the reality is that when you sleep solo, you usually sleep better and recover more effectively. 😁

"I can't fall in love." Is that actually code for "I can't fall in love with you, but you'll be good for casual sex"?

It means exactly what it says. Don't expect romance—take the sex or move on, and that's all there is to it. I think when someone tells you that, they genuinely mean it; they recognize that there's simply no way for someone to fall for them.
Would you ever say that to someone you actually thought you might fall for? You wouldn't.
And neither would a man. 😉

So, here's the question: are men actually sending these ambiguous signals, or am I just choosing to ignore what's staring me right in the face? Or perhaps it really isn't that obvious. Consider this yet another attempt at untangling those perennial, messy misunderstandings between the sexes. Let's dive in.

Look, it’s not that men don't know how to be manipulative—they certainly do, 😍 but the scenarios you're describing are textbook cases where women simply refuse to see the truth, effectively manipulating themselves. And then, predictably, they point the finger at the men.

which is exactly why every single amateur tries to pass themselves off as a literary genius😁