Posts by Sandra Parker3

He doesn't really have any grounds to be acting all hurt
He wasn't even in love with her; he just used her as a crutch to get through his own mess, and she played the part by supporting him
So, her turning down a different relationship didn't actually sting him that much as long as he had that first one—besides, this whole second thing was just some mental trick or a hollow sentiment anyway 😍

And the fact that he ended up rejecting her later...
Well, he just didn't need her anymore, and honestly, why bother playing the therapist or moping about it🤷 when he’s doing just fine and, frankly, he totally screwed it up on his end

It hit her hard, though, and it wouldn't have been easy regardless, but the real kicker is that he kept telling her he loved her, even though she knew better deep down; now she's factoring that in too, and the math just doesn't add up, because it would have been way easier to swallow being rejected by someone she simply helped, rather than someone who went out of their way to claim they were in love with her🙄

What other issues are you dealing with besides the extra pounds?
Point 7 is just plain stupid if you ask me; keep talking until you’re practically gagging on it, then maybe you'll finally accept that everything is temporary and doesn't matter that much. I'm talking about what lies beyond. You've got plenty of smarter things to focus on in life than some idiot who passed you by in a heartbeat.
Hey, how about using this smiley instead of a furious one:
..... works for me

Yeah, I’m with you on that—it's pointless. What’s the point of having mods if all they do is lock and unlock threads

but then why would someone claim they got banned just because they bumped a locked thread by missing a mod's call😕 🤷

Is it actually possible for a regular user to start a thread that’s already locked? Like, one where there's a literal padlock on it?
I’m pretty sure the answer is a hard no. But I saw someone claim they did it by accident because they just didn't realize what was happening, so now I'm wondering if there's any truth to that at all.

Here's the part they said:

...I ended up starting a locked thread. I didn't notice the padlocks, and even if I had, I doubt I would've known what they meant.

So, is there any way that could have happened? 😕

thanks

hollowtrucker77 said:If I could make one request, it would be this: it’s not actually a crisis when a dog bites a person; the real crisis is when a person decides to bite a dog.
🙂
It’s the same dynamic here on this platform; most of what we see is just a chorus of people complaining, whereas the ones who are actually satisfied aren't even bothering to chime in or browse this specific sub-forum.
If I were to step up right now and say that the admins are doing an incredible job and working incredibly hard, I’d be voicing something unpopular—something that nobody really wants to admit out loud.
And the truth is, those people really do put in the work behind the scenes to keep things running and keep us talking...
However, that entire side of the operation isn't public, and it certainly isn't open for everyone to inspect.
And even if it were, you'd just end up with a whole new group of dissatisfied critics anyway...
🙂

At the start, I actually posted about having a positive experience with one moderator and an admin (the one with the purple icon)

But now, when I bring up examples in two different threads regarding a moderator who is, frankly, totally reckless and incompetent—someone whose posts fall way outside the bounds of normal human interaction—nobody even bothers to comment.

Jerry Martin19 said:Haven't voted for any option yet, just wanted to make a point. http://www.reddit.com/r/example_thread. Check out the language and the attitude people use when they "appeal" on this sub. Some say 90% of these complaints are legit, while others think it’s all just pure trolling and nonsense meant to annoy or confuse the mods... maybe we should just bait them into making an obvious mistake instead.
The issues stem from a few things:

a) It’s always more or less the same crowd complaining. Just the usual types who love to whine regardless of whether it actually makes sense.
b) A lot of people complain simply because they have a personal grudge against certain moderators and want them gone. They'll go out of their way to pick fights in subforums run by mods they don't like. Basically, they're just "stalking" a mod they can't stand.
c) You've got the clones, spammers, and trolls who just want to stir up chaos because they live for the drama.
d) Then there are those who are actually right, but they don't know how to handle an appeal. Instead of being reasonable, they come at the mods with this aggressive, negative energy that totally backfires. No chance of getting a penalty lifted—they usually just end up getting hit with another one.
e) There’s also that group—let's call them "the bystanders"—who don't even file complaints themselves but show up in every single argument, automatically siding against the mods for basically no reason.
f) The FBI section consists of Messages, Wishes, Comments plus three separate sub-sections (Congratulations, Complaints and Grievances, Banned Corner). Obviously, Congratulations gets zero traffic, and while the FBI section sounds positive based on its title, once you actually click it on the Reddit main page, you realize it's a total nightmare.

Here are the "wishes": http://www.reddit.com/r/wish1, http://www.reddit.com/r/wish2, http://www.reddit.com/r/wish3, http://www.reddit.com/r/wish4, http://www.reddit.com/r/wish5

🤣

Should I keep posting the other three hundred wishes or what?

Think I've said enough... 🙂

Look, Jerry Martin19, you can laugh all you want, but you totally missed the point

First off, it wasn't a list of "wishes," it was a proposal—which is pretty obvious from the title

Second, I wrote it with a bit of humor as a way to grab attention, though clearly, that failed miserably🙄

The whole point of the thread is to suggest scheduling two semi-annual server maintenance windows (and whatever else technical stuff I don't understand enough to list) during which Reddit would be offline. That way, we'd know exactly that from Date A to Date B, there's NO CLICKING and NO 503 or 504 errors, etc.

I brought up last year's period around Christmas and New Year's because everything ran smoothly after that maintenance, whereas now, as you can see, everything crashes constantly

So, instead of just posting useless, ineffective complaints about various random freezes, I put forward a suggestion for regular maintenance

And now, nobody gets it. Maybe it's on me, but this thread wasn't written for general forum banter; it was actually a serious proposal intended to be helpful

I mean, I don't know how much it would actually help, but if I take my car in for annual service because it makes sense, I figured something similar might work here too

As for the part where I joked... "Why don't you guys just close the shop while I do some fall cleaning without fruitlessly clicking around here"... damn, I guess when I throw a serious topic out there, people just treat it like a joke

Honestly, I expected someone to actually get it or at least say "that's impossible," but 🤷

.

boldhound8 said:I'm with you on that.

Look, 90% of this place is a total joke. The remaining 10% is actually decent, and that’s what we need to focus on fixing. The real issue is when an entire subforum gains a reputation for being nothing but a circus. When nine out of ten threads are just mindless trolling, people stop showing up. It becomes a complete disaster. And don't get it twisted—I'm not making excuses for the irresponsible moderators here. They should be stepping up regardless, because keeping things under control is literally their job. I'm just calling it like I see it.

That’s exactly why I think we'd be better off without him. Honestly, those tiny amounts of complaints—like 10% or less—are incredibly easy to handle directly with the Prime Minister or through some other way of just talking it out. It's not that deep.🙂

Haha, Donald... if that were actually possible, people wouldn't be posting here. In fact, we wouldn't even have that 10% of valid or at least argued complaints, because:

either they would be handled without this PDF entirely
or they would be settled right here

get my point? When there's actual will, the venue doesn't matter.

boldhound8 said:I voted for the moderator option because the author treated us like absolute garbage, just dividing us up like we're nothing but cattle.😍

Why? Because the complaint subforum is completely useless. In some desperate attempt to please everyone and act like they’re all about being super-democratic, the admins opened up "complaints and grievances" and a "banned users corner" (which has been around forever). Now that move is coming back to haunt them every single day. In their pathetic rush to be "fair" and "democratic," those two subforums turned into a playground for idiots, and honestly, the site feels way less fair than it did before they even existed.

Major props to anyone standing up against injustice—I've been there myself, playing the black sheep among the mods more than once—but let's be real: over 90% of the complaints (maybe even more😉) are a total joke. Before a thread even gets locked or someone gets handed a few warnings, it turns into a complete farce, like a bad comedy sketch. You want proof? Just ask me. I can pull up 15 ridiculous examples in fifteen minutes, though the most insane ones usually get deleted first.😢

I don't know if you guys have checked out anything besides Reddit, but I have, and I haven't found anything anywhere else even close to this mess. No endless warnings, no other nonsense. Users should act like users, mods should mod, and if someone goes too far, give them a warning—if they keep acting up, just ban them for good and move on. It shouldn't be a circus. There shouldn't be petitions, comedies, or tragedies; there's nothing like what's happening here. Justice is five times more effective elsewhere, so you decide. You think I'm full of it? Go ahead, look around for yourselves.😉

Just opening up a complaint book doesn't prove you're democratic. Someone actually needs to sit down, read through them, and deal with what’s being reported.

boldhound8 said:I voted for the moderator option because the author treated us like absolute garbage, just dividing us up like we're nothing but cattle.😍

Why? Because the complaint subforum is completely useless. In some desperate attempt to please everyone and act like they’re all about being super-democratic, the admins opened up "complaints and grievances" and a "banned users corner" (which has been around forever). Now that move is coming back to haunt them every single day. In their pathetic rush to be "fair" and "democratic," those two subforums turned into a playground for idiots, and honestly, the site feels way less fair than it did before they even existed.

Major props to anyone standing up against injustice—I've been there myself, playing the black sheep among the mods more than once—but let's be real: over 90% of the complaints (maybe even more😉) are a total joke. Before a thread even gets locked or someone gets handed a few warnings, it turns into a complete farce, like a bad comedy sketch. You want proof? Just ask me. I can pull up 15 ridiculous examples in fifteen minutes, though the most insane ones usually get deleted first.😢

I don't know if you guys have checked out anything besides Reddit, but I have, and I haven't found anything anywhere else even close to this mess. No endless warnings, no other nonsense. Users should act like users, mods should mod, and if someone goes too far, give them a warning—if they keep acting up, just ban them for good and move on. It shouldn't be a circus. There shouldn't be petitions, comedies, or tragedies; there's nothing like what's happening here. Justice is five times more effective elsewhere, so you decide. You think I'm full of it? Go ahead, look around for yourselves.😉

Even if 90% of the complaints are a circus, that doesn't mean we should ignore the rest. You want links?

Rachel Sanchez11 said:Let's look at this situation.

An attack on a subforum should really be an attack on the moderator. But that shouldn't be the case here. hollowtrucker77 is actually one of the best mods we have on this site, even if I didn't think so when he first showed up. I guess I just didn't give him a full hundred days to prove himself, but man, he’s actually surprised me.
Secondly, the fact is that some weird hierarchy has taken over the forum lately; things have gotten way more heavy-handed (someone like the Administrator or whatever).
Thirdly, people are constantly complaining on the FBI section, and it’s become this standard routine where every single complaint gets brushed off as some "unserious attempt" to overthrow the mod—attempts that never work anyway, and almost none of these complaints ever lead to anything positive. Just a heads-up: hollowtrucker77 really tries to separate the wheat from the chaff, but he isn't getting any support from the higher-ups. His job is to moderate serious complaints, not to act as the final judge in them. And that’s what he does—he keeps the thread open, cleans out the spam and the parasites, but nobody from the people who are *supposed* to respond to the complaint shows up, so there's just silence for days.
Then, the people starting these threads lose their minds because they feel like nobody gives a damn about them—which, let's be honest, is true 😁—so they start going absolutely nuclear in every language possible. Then come the warnings, the points, the bans, and it turns out the user actually deserved the ban in the first place.

Fourthly, once, an admin called my constructive argument "acting like someone's lawyer" just because I was defending a certain right, and then she shut the whole thread down. I sent her a private message asking for an apology since I didn't consider myself anyone's lawyer. She didn't reply. And when I actually complimented her, saying it was nice to finally have an admin who actually responds to DMs, she shot back that she had better things to do than answer a PM where I was being all dramatic about wanting an apology. This tells you everything you need to know: this esteemed admin has much more important things to do than deal with your nonsense. She has the power, she uses it, and she never questions her own calls because, frankly, we aren't worth her time to sit and rethink things.

So, I've confirmed my suspicions, and I'll tell you guys again, though I've said it plenty of times already.
Reddit is privately owned and, honestly, it’s technically maintained pretty poorly. Since it’s private property, the owner can basically do whatever they want. Because of that, users don't have much ground to stand on when complaining about moderators and how they behave, because every single one of them was chosen by the owner to represent his interests and protect his property. When you look at it that way, every complaint is just a waste of breath.

So, that’s how it stands. Next time you feel the urge to complain, just remember that the moderators are working for free (well, maybe not for free—I actually started a thread about that on the psychology board once) and remember that the forum hasn't been running well for years. Seriously, call up any hosting service and ask what it would cost to host a forum like this. You’ll quickly realize the owner couldn't care less about the site, and if he doesn't care about the site, he doesn't care about the users. And if he doesn't care about the users, then the moderators are just his extended arm—they get the same "don't care" impulse from him, and so they don't care about you either. It always stinks from the top down.

You can choose to accept this reality, stay true to yourself, and be who you are despite it all. Or, you can spend hours here arguing in a losing battle. Because at the end of the day, this is a private forum...

You guys are just numbers. You are nothing more than unique clicks that the owner displays to advertisers. The only thing that makes you "unique" is the statistic: "we have x0,000 unique clicks every day." When you stop clicking, someone else will take your place. And that other person won't be any different from you, even if you're clicking based on some deep philosophy about topics that need to radically change the world, while that other guy is just some random teenager opening threads like: "I've never done it..."
And both you and he are just tiny clicks, one of thousands of others that make up the "strength" of this forum.

That’s why we shouldn't abolish the FBI section. It serves its purpose. It channels the dissatisfied people so they can be ignored. That is its function. Its job isn't to resolve a potential complaint. Maybe we should just rename it: "Wishes and Futile Complaints." Description: Complain all you want, and get banned...

Yeah, you’ve got a point there. But still... I can't help but think about that moderator who keeps publicly hyping up users with barely any clicks. It feels like he's working against the site owner, yet he hasn't been touched and is still in his position. Honestly, I actually saw a post yesterday where someone was advocating for this, and it was deleted. But the quote is still sitting there on the FBI feed. Same goes for the moderator himself—he's still holding his spot, nothing happened to him at all, aside from a few random bans. 😁

Rachel Sanchez11 said:Let's look at this situation.

An attack on a subforum should really be an attack on the moderator. But that shouldn't be the case here. hollowtrucker77 is actually one of the best mods we have on this site, even if I didn't think so when he first showed up. I guess I just didn't give him a full hundred days to prove himself, but man, he’s actually surprised me.
Secondly, the fact is that some weird hierarchy has taken over the forum lately; things have gotten way more heavy-handed (someone like the Administrator or whatever).
Thirdly, people are constantly complaining on the FBI section, and it’s become this standard routine where every single complaint gets brushed off as some "unserious attempt" to overthrow the mod—attempts that never work anyway, and almost none of these complaints ever lead to anything positive. Just a heads-up: hollowtrucker77 really tries to separate the wheat from the chaff, but he isn't getting any support from the higher-ups. His job is to moderate serious complaints, not to act as the final judge in them. And that’s what he does—he keeps the thread open, cleans out the spam and the parasites, but nobody from the people who are *supposed* to respond to the complaint shows up, so there's just silence for days.
Then, the people starting these threads lose their minds because they feel like nobody gives a damn about them—which, let's be honest, is true 😁—so they start going absolutely nuclear in every language possible. Then come the warnings, the points, the bans, and it turns out the user actually deserved the ban in the first place.

Fourthly, once, an admin called my constructive argument "acting like someone's lawyer" just because I was defending a certain right, and then she shut the whole thread down. I sent her a private message asking for an apology since I didn't consider myself anyone's lawyer. She didn't reply. And when I actually complimented her, saying it was nice to finally have an admin who actually responds to DMs, she shot back that she had better things to do than answer a PM where I was being all dramatic about wanting an apology. This tells you everything you need to know: this esteemed admin has much more important things to do than deal with your nonsense. She has the power, she uses it, and she never questions her own calls because, frankly, we aren't worth her time to sit and rethink things.

So, I've confirmed my suspicions, and I'll tell you guys again, though I've said it plenty of times already.
Reddit is privately owned and, honestly, it’s technically maintained pretty poorly. Since it’s private property, the owner can basically do whatever they want. Because of that, users don't have much ground to stand on when complaining about moderators and how they behave, because every single one of them was chosen by the owner to represent his interests and protect his property. When you look at it that way, every complaint is just a waste of breath.

So, that’s how it stands. Next time you feel the urge to complain, just remember that the moderators are working for free (well, maybe not for free—I actually started a thread about that on the psychology board once) and remember that the forum hasn't been running well for years. Seriously, call up any hosting service and ask what it would cost to host a forum like this. You’ll quickly realize the owner couldn't care less about the site, and if he doesn't care about the site, he doesn't care about the users. And if he doesn't care about the users, then the moderators are just his extended arm—they get the same "don't care" impulse from him, and so they don't care about you either. It always stinks from the top down.

You can choose to accept this reality, stay true to yourself, and be who you are despite it all. Or, you can spend hours here arguing in a losing battle. Because at the end of the day, this is a private forum...

You guys are just numbers. You are nothing more than unique clicks that the owner displays to advertisers. The only thing that makes you "unique" is the statistic: "we have x0,000 unique clicks every day." When you stop clicking, someone else will take your place. And that other person won't be any different from you, even if you're clicking based on some deep philosophy about topics that need to radically change the world, while that other guy is just some random teenager opening threads like: "I've never done it..."
And both you and he are just tiny clicks, one of thousands of others that make up the "strength" of this forum.

That’s why we shouldn't abolish the FBI section. It serves its purpose. It channels the dissatisfied people so they can be ignored. That is its function. Its job isn't to resolve a potential complaint. Maybe we should just rename it: "Wishes and Futile Complaints." Description: Complain all you want, and get banned...

Complaining just to get banned is basically an open secret at this point.
She really makes this PDF completely useless. 🤔

I can't even begin to deal with this right now.
Either you're self-censoring because you don't actually care about "driving out the demons" through debate, or you've just reached the point where ignoring people—which is honestly just plain rude—has become your default. Or maybe you just lock the thread whenever you run out of things to say, which feels like being slammed in the face with a door; it’s just as unhelpful. Eventually, a person is going to snap, and then they end up getting banned.
Pure joy. 😛

Whatever, I’m not actually in favor of getting rid of the FBI. Honestly, looking back at some of those old posts on there helped me get a much better sense of certain users. 😍

I feel like I've been way too active on here lately 😁

darkseal15 said:I’m honestly not sure if I’ll be able to get this poll to actually work—I’ve never messed around with setting one up before.

If it fails, just go ahead and cast your vote in the comments.

Basically,
what is the actual point of this subforum?

If we set aside the threads used just for congratulating people on every little thing—we’re left with the core issue here, which is how certain threads are moderated.

I’ve been watching several topics where users have been complaining about moderation.

Some of them were total jokes, some complaints were completely baseless, and others were entirely justified.

So, when it comes to how people present their grievances, there’s a massive range of perspectives.

Where there isn't any variation, though—is in the admins' responses.
They seem to be totally uniform, and they all seem to lean toward doing absolutely nothing at all.
At most, they might ban some troublemaker who dared to call out a beloved moderator, and that’s about it.

Think about it: has a single complaint against a moderator ever actually resulted in any real consequences for them?
Have you ever noticed anything actually changing after you filed a complaint?

Not really, right?

The only moderator I’ve heard of being disciplined wasn't even someone the users were complaining about—quite the opposite, word is they were punished specifically because they actually took the users' side.

Look at the current Google scandal—that’s exactly what happens when "collegiality" is based on the principle of "protect and cover your buddy, even when he’s screwing up."

The exact same thing is happening on this forum—the bond between moderators and admins is placed above the rights of the users (and probably, by extension, above the interests of the owner, whose goal should logically be keeping the user base satisfied).

So, what is the purpose of this specific subforum?

I’ve noticed in a few places how the admins seem to amuse themselves by mocking the users who complain about their dear colleagues. (Mockery is pretty easy to pull off when you know the solution is entirely within your control, yet you have zero intention of fixing anything, while some poor idiot keeps asking you for help, not realizing they're wasting their breath.)

Therefore,
I am opening this thread to invite everyone to vote on whether we should scrap this thread, which exists solely to mock the community.
At the same time, having this thread will serve as a warning to new or uninformed users so they don't embarrass themselves by coming here looking for solutions that aren't coming.

Anyway (if I can't get the poll to work),

Are you in favor of shutting down this thread?

a) Yes (I am a regular user)
b) No (I am a regular user)
c) Yes (I am a moderator or admin)
d) No (I am a moderator or admin)

I’m separating the moderators from the general public in this poll just to make it crystal clear whose interests are being served here.

Yeah, I can think of an example, so yes. It’s hard to pull off, but believe it or not, it happens.

darkseal15 said:I’m honestly not sure if I’ll be able to get this poll to actually work—I’ve never messed around with setting one up before.

If it fails, just go ahead and cast your vote in the comments.

Basically,
what is the actual point of this subforum?

If we set aside the threads used just for congratulating people on every little thing—we’re left with the core issue here, which is how certain threads are moderated.

I’ve been watching several topics where users have been complaining about moderation.

Some of them were total jokes, some complaints were completely baseless, and others were entirely justified.

So, when it comes to how people present their grievances, there’s a massive range of perspectives.

Where there isn't any variation, though—is in the admins' responses.
They seem to be totally uniform, and they all seem to lean toward doing absolutely nothing at all.
At most, they might ban some troublemaker who dared to call out a beloved moderator, and that’s about it.

Think about it: has a single complaint against a moderator ever actually resulted in any real consequences for them?
Have you ever noticed anything actually changing after you filed a complaint?

Not really, right?

The only moderator I’ve heard of being disciplined wasn't even someone the users were complaining about—quite the opposite, word is they were punished specifically because they actually took the users' side.

Look at the current Google scandal—that’s exactly what happens when "collegiality" is based on the principle of "protect and cover your buddy, even when he’s screwing up."

The exact same thing is happening on this forum—the bond between moderators and admins is placed above the rights of the users (and probably, by extension, above the interests of the owner, whose goal should logically be keeping the user base satisfied).

So, what is the purpose of this specific subforum?

I’ve noticed in a few places how the admins seem to amuse themselves by mocking the users who complain about their dear colleagues. (Mockery is pretty easy to pull off when you know the solution is entirely within your control, yet you have zero intention of fixing anything, while some poor idiot keeps asking you for help, not realizing they're wasting their breath.)

Therefore,
I am opening this thread to invite everyone to vote on whether we should scrap this thread, which exists solely to mock the community.
At the same time, having this thread will serve as a warning to new or uninformed users so they don't embarrass themselves by coming here looking for solutions that aren't coming.

Anyway (if I can't get the poll to work),

Are you in favor of shutting down this thread?

a) Yes (I am a regular user)
b) No (I am a regular user)
c) Yes (I am a moderator or admin)
d) No (I am a moderator or admin)

I’m separating the moderators from the general public in this poll just to make it crystal clear whose interests are being served here.

One of mine actually worked, but only because someone with enough time and willpower stepped in to get them removed. Or maybe they just quit on their own, who knows.
And yeah, once again—it wasn't even a formal complaint, just a casual request during a different thread. We almost came to blows over something, but they ended up being reasonable and fixed it.

The worst part about all this isn't even whether complaints get resolved positively—because hey, I get it, there are circumstances, and I won't get too deep into that right now... what makes this corner of the forum look so bleak is the ignoring, the total silence, the lack of response to well-explained complaints or requests...
There's a mess brewing in two specific threads right now, and there's absolutely no sign of anyone stepping in.
I really can't say my concerns are unfounded.
So...

Now, I'm not calling for anyone to be fired; I don't even have a vote 🤷
Eventually, someone is going to reach their breaking point. Besides, there are decent moderators and admins out there, or whatever they call themselves. I just have no clue where they've been lately. Did the others just overshadow them?

Rebecca Scott3 said:Most psychiatrists and psychologists are recruited from people who already have issues in their own heads. They're often manipulators looking for literal power over another human being. I can't think of any other profession where you can legally ruin someone's life and then call it "helping" or "therapy." I feel for anyone who ends up in their hands.
Don't worry about me; I'm doing just fine. Actually, I'm doing a whole lot better than that psychiatrist who would love to have me under his thumb if he were actually smart enough to pull it off. You think I tell him about singing the songs of the Era from the great beyond? No way. I just tell him how I listen to classical music to relax and how I sing every day, and then everything is perfectly fine.
The difference is I can tell you guys what I actually do because none of you are going to lock me up or force-feed me pills. At the end of the day, what do you really know about my life? For all you know, maybe I spend my time picking grapes on a chimney. Or maybe you're actually my doctor, interrogating me online to check in on me, but you could never be sure who I am because I say something completely different when I'm sitting in the office. Go ahead, try to guess who I am. Maybe I stopped by to visit you yesterday and spent the whole time talking about chickens.
And now, I'll throw in a scary face just to give you a little fright.
🙂🙂😢🤔🙂🙂

politicians

is a pretty spot-on description😍

Look, this is Psychology, not an Alternative or some religion or whatever... first off, get some decent sleep, if you're on any medication, get off it, and then go talk to a real psychologist—maybe follow that up with a psychiatrist and things like that.

Kyle Lee7 said:The latter individual was essentially a sociopath or psychotic (a top-tier psychiatrist told The Morning that we're looking at narcissistic personality disorder here)... that's getting a bit too deep for my expertise, so I won't try to play doctor.

Regardless, anyone who is truly aligned with themselves and their inner Source simply wouldn't have the capacity to inflict harm on another person.

To be honest, I couldn't care less about his diagnosis; throwing someone into a clinical category doesn't mean a thing to me personally. You brought him up as an example of someone who screws around and eventually pays the price, but I actually think he lived a much fuller, more intense life—from his own perspective, anyway—than those people who spend their lives playing it safe, trying not to hurt anyone, or obsessing over "positive thinking." He felt good about himself, and frankly, I doubt he ever stopped. I don't see where the "punishment" is supposed to be.

Kyle Lee7 said:The latter individual was essentially a sociopath or psychotic (a top-tier psychiatrist told The Morning that we're looking at narcissistic personality disorder here)... that's getting a bit too deep for my expertise, so I won't try to play doctor.

Regardless, anyone who is truly aligned with themselves and their inner Source simply wouldn't have the capacity to inflict harm on another person.

But what does it actually mean to be "aligned with your Source"? Take the guy we were just talking about... if he had bothered to align himself with the world around him instead of just sticking to his own "values," his life probably wouldn't have felt nearly as fulfilling or productive by his own subjective standards. Whether you like it or not, the man was happy and satisfied; he was perfectly in tune with himself, living life to the absolute fullest, doing exactly what he wanted, and loving himself... even if he caused a trail of misery for everyone else in his wake.

Kyle Lee7 said:- I didn't actually mention quantum physics anywhere
-unconscious belief patterns are incredibly powerful, though that doesn't mean conscious thought lacks influence—it’s really just a matter of which areas of your life have blocks and which don't. Where there's no resistance, you can easily "allow" things to happen
-it all comes down to flow versus resistance. There is a powerful life force at play, and then there is resistance (the more resistance you create, the more problems you attract—and that resistance comes from both conscious and unconscious beliefs or feelings, like thinking "nobody loves me," for instance)
-following that logic, any positive thought, feeling, or belief—whether conscious or subconscious—will always carry more weight than a negative one
-positive thinking works, provided you aren't fighting against it by doubting its very power (which creates resistance)
-trying to force positive thinking on someone when their "vibration" is miles away from that state is just unproductive. You're absolutely right there, but that's why you have to take it one step at a time, like climbing a ladder (for example, if you feel sad, the first move might be shifting toward anger, then to frustration, then maybe impatience, then toward a sense of positive expectation, then optimism, then excitement, and finally relaxation... you can't just skip ten steps from sadness straight to pure happiness)
-as for the people who constantly think and act poorly: just because you don't see immediate consequences doesn't mean they aren't happening. They might feel miserable internally, suffer from health issues, live in a constant state of rage, or eventually face justice, much like how Radovan Karr did

In my experience, I don't know a single person who constantly thinks and acts poorly while remaining genuinely happy. That alone is a massive contradiction!

I’d bet this guy wasn't even thinking or acting out of malice by his own twisted standards; he was probably just lost in some blissful state of self-absorption,
which is really the only metric that matters, isn't it?

So how did it all go sideways for him, or what could have actually pulled him out of the gutter?
Whatever you think—whether it's his thoughts, his belief systems, or his level of consciousness—I'm curious to hear it.

rustybadger89 said:It’s right there at the bottom of the Terms of Service.

It clearly states that accounts aren't deleted just because a user asks

and honestly, I feel like I've answered this exact same question a thousand times already—it's NOT happening. 😛

Quincy Jones

Samuel Miller21 said:I wouldn't be so quick to bet against that, 🤣

In my own experience, I could list plenty of people whose happiness truly brings me genuine joy, and there are quite a few of them—I'm certainly not some kind of total bitch😁... but those individuals are mostly people with whom I can identify within a specific context.
Perhaps I view them as an extension of myself.
Or perhaps I am simply the catalyst for their happiness, which happens to feed my own narcissistic fantasies of being all-powerful.

But if you take a closer look at any friendship... you'll find that friends frequently sabotage one another's happiness, wrapping their interference in a million excuses disguised as "concern."

I believe a person comes closest to the ideal of being a true humanitarian precisely when they realize how difficult it is for them to witness someone else's success.

Think about it: when people are happy, they don't actually need us (unless we are the ones generating that happiness). In moments of joy, people are strong, radiant... so, when you do the math, you have individuals who are powerful, shining, and entirely self-sufficient. Wouldn't that trigger even a tiny flicker of fear or envy in any reasonable person?

The real question is how a person chooses to respond to that feeling. Will they accept it as a natural human emotion, acknowledge it, and move toward a state of tolerance for others' happiness? Or will they suppress it and unconsciously work to bring that person down, claiming things like "it didn't end well," "they've changed," or "they've become too selfish"? 🙂

What kind of sane person doesn't feel an immediate sense of repulsion toward people who are constantly weak, perpetually weeping, and perpetually miserable, yet somehow insist that we "boringly" need to be there to pick up their pieces? 😲
The way you’re painting this picture makes it sound like he’s just infinitely, unconditionally happy on his own, without any actual need for anyone else to step in and fill his life or provide that sense of fulfillment by making him feel good.
Are there actually people out there who are strong, brilliant, and absolutely, positively zero percent necessary to us? Haha, I guess that's just an "ideal" we'll never actually reach. 😉

Quincy Jones

Samuel Miller21 said:I wouldn't be so quick to bet against that, 🤣

In my own experience, I could list plenty of people whose happiness truly brings me genuine joy, and there are quite a few of them—I'm certainly not some kind of total bitch😁... but those individuals are mostly people with whom I can identify within a specific context.
Perhaps I view them as an extension of myself.
Or perhaps I am simply the catalyst for their happiness, which happens to feed my own narcissistic fantasies of being all-powerful.

But if you take a closer look at any friendship... you'll find that friends frequently sabotage one another's happiness, wrapping their interference in a million excuses disguised as "concern."

I believe a person comes closest to the ideal of being a true humanitarian precisely when they realize how difficult it is for them to witness someone else's success.

Think about it: when people are happy, they don't actually need us (unless we are the ones generating that happiness). In moments of joy, people are strong, radiant... so, when you do the math, you have individuals who are powerful, shining, and entirely self-sufficient. Wouldn't that trigger even a tiny flicker of fear or envy in any reasonable person?

The real question is how a person chooses to respond to that feeling. Will they accept it as a natural human emotion, acknowledge it, and move toward a state of tolerance for others' happiness? Or will they suppress it and unconsciously work to bring that person down, claiming things like "it didn't end well," "they've changed," or "they've become too selfish"? 🙂

It’s just that eternal, restless dissatisfaction baked into our DNA. It’s a lose-lose situation: you feel useless when people don't need you, but then you can't stand it when they actually do. Honestly, it feels like we're just poking the bear, trying to throw everyone off balance because we can't handle seeing someone else looking all happy and independent without us—it makes us want to stir the pot just to see them stumble. But then you realize if you push too hard, you end up stuck carrying the whole damn mess yourself, dealing with someone who's suddenly acting selfishly just because they need you now, whereas before, they acted like you didn't exist. 😁.
I honestly think it’s best to just leave things alone and stop messing with stuff that isn't our business; eventually, it’ll all go south on its own regardless of how much we try to force some "spontaneous" change. But man, it’s exhausting when it feels like everyone is constantly poking their nose into everything we do. 🙄

Lisa Barnes3 said:Yeah, I'm with you on that, it honestly makes me sick... I can't remember exactly which video I watched, but they were always filled with messages about how we should be grateful and stop wasting food, backed up by photos of starving children... and then there's that whole bit about how we ought to be thankful and happy! Like, hold on a second... how
can you actually feel happy when you're looking at how much other people are suffering? It just doesn't make any sense to me!

The logic is a little mixed up here.

Basically, forcing yourself to eat things when you're already full isn't going to help a single hungry kid; all it's going to do is make you overweight.🙄

The mindset should be different—like, don't hoard food you know you won't finish, or maybe just eat bread that's a couple of days old instead of tossing it... though I honestly have no clue how doing that helps anyone else.

And look, I hate wasting food too; it actually makes me feel physically sick whenever I do it, but I truly don't see the connection between my trash can and feeding the hungry.🤷

Samuel Miller21 said:When we are struggling with depression, the most common way people try to comfort us is by pointing out those who have it even worse—as if witnessing someone else's misery is supposed to somehow lift our spirits...

Those of us prone to depression are often also prone to intense feelings of guilt, which usually results in—or at least in my case, exacerbates—an even deeper depressive state.

Similarly, I constantly receive these chain emails filled with slideshows about starving children or the destitute, always paired with some lofty message about harmony, happiness, and finding peace.
Most of them feature that overused, award-winning photo of a malnourished child waiting for a vulture, all seasoned with these hollow humanitarian platitudes about enjoying life and appreciating the little things.

Is it just me, or is there something deeply perverse about this approach?
Should someone else's tragedy really be used as a motivator for our own happiness?

That’s just what people say when they’ve got nothing useful to contribute—they either don't get it, can't handle it, or they just don't care about us.
It's political nonsense, just like when people try to console you by talking about inflation in America or saying "well, things are 10% cheaper over there."
Who actually cares about that?
It's an apples-to-oranges comparison, because when life is truly hitting the fan, none of that helps at all.

Knowing someone else is struggling doesn't make my own life any easier.
But look, if you take a step back—and that's assuming you aren't already struggling too much to even look at others—and see how much suffering is out there, all it does is tank your mood. I have no idea how anyone thinks seeing that is supposed to motivate happiness.

The only thing that should drive us is comparing ourselves to who we were yesterday, not to everyone else.

The other way might work occasionally... but it's like taking an aspirin... it's a quick fix... totally useless in the long run.😉 ...it's pointless.

lonegardener said:That rule is pretty much useless for the average person. You can't exactly take on someone with a machine gun just because you happen to be carrying a knife. 😉
On the other hand, if you’re sitting there with a machine gun and you decide to use it on someone who only has a knife... hmm, I don't know. That feels just as wrong to me, regardless of how much of a nuisance they might be. 🙂

I don't have anyone. 🤷 To be honest, I dealt with two guys on another forum, but only because they were opening threads like crazy and racking up over 1,000 posts a month. 😲😲 They were literally singing the same broken record over and over again. Honestly, trying to read their stuff now would be nothing short of pure masochism.

That’s from some ridiculous movie I watched back when I was just a kid... honestly, I'm a little embarrassed that I even remember it. But the gag was actually pretty funny—this guy had this catchphrase about how something "sticks out like a sore thumb," and then at some party, they actually went ahead and dunked a perfect specimen right into the punch bowl. LOL

that rule basically means GO ON THE OFFENSE
which assumes one side has a knife while the other has a machine gun (or whatever comparison we're making)

assume a more level playing field
and if you actually find yourself in that situation, you'll just act on instinct 😁

btw, sign up for some martial arts classes
just in case

lonegardener said:That rule is pretty much useless for the average person. You can't exactly take on someone with a machine gun just because you happen to be carrying a knife. 😉
On the other hand, if you’re sitting there with a machine gun and you decide to use it on someone who only has a knife... hmm, I don't know. That feels just as wrong to me, regardless of how much of a nuisance they might be. 🙂

I don't have anyone. 🤷 To be honest, I dealt with two guys on another forum, but only because they were opening threads like crazy and racking up over 1,000 posts a month. 😲😲 They were literally singing the same broken record over and over again. Honestly, trying to read their stuff now would be nothing short of pure masochism.

That’s from some ridiculous movie I watched back when I was just a kid... honestly, I'm a little embarrassed that I even remember it. But the gag was actually pretty funny—this guy had this catchphrase about how something "sticks out like a sore thumb," and then at some party, they actually went ahead and dunked a perfect specimen right into the punch bowl. LOL

when you say you're embarrassed, everyone can probably guess why you remember it 😁

it's not an idiotic movie; it's just that you're embarrassed you learned your lessons from it when you were young 🤣

come on, go to bed before you write too much more 😂

lonegardener said:Hey, some people just give as good as they get, but others love to escalate things... you give him a wrong look and he slaps you across the face. At that point, whose fault is it really? 😍

Yes, I absolutely love lecturing 😵 — though I prefer to be upfront about it so nobody mistakenly takes me too seriously. 😬 That would be quite a burden to carry...

wow, you remember that? Though, your memory is a bit fuzzy. I wasn't at odds with her; she actually just muted me after I skipped Rule #3 out of those 11 guidelines a few times. 😬 Honestly, that's a perfect example of the overreactions I mentioned earlier, even if it wasn't quite that extreme...

(edit: by the way, this is a digital space; we aren't exactly the same as we are in real life. I find myself being more lenient on a forum than I would be in person, mostly because everyone here has the choice to either read my posts or just scroll past. In the real world, you can't always just ignore someone, which is why I'm much less aggressive in person. For the most part, I do follow most of those 11 rules above. 😲)

🤷To me, it feels pretty close to that "live and let live" philosophy. Everyone respects each other's boundaries, and nobody bothers anyone else without permission. Though, I have to say, Rule 7 is an absolute eyesore 😂 ... while everything else stays strictly social.

probably yours
use the last part of Rule 11, DESTROY

lonegardener said:Hey, some people just give as good as they get, but others love to escalate things... you give him a wrong look and he slaps you across the face. At that point, whose fault is it really? 😍

Yes, I absolutely love lecturing 😵 — though I prefer to be upfront about it so nobody mistakenly takes me too seriously. 😬 That would be quite a burden to carry...

wow, you remember that? Though, your memory is a bit fuzzy. I wasn't at odds with her; she actually just muted me after I skipped Rule #3 out of those 11 guidelines a few times. 😬 Honestly, that's a perfect example of the overreactions I mentioned earlier, even if it wasn't quite that extreme...

(edit: by the way, this is a digital space; we aren't exactly the same as we are in real life. I find myself being more lenient on a forum than I would be in person, mostly because everyone here has the choice to either read my posts or just scroll past. In the real world, you can't always just ignore someone, which is why I'm much less aggressive in person. For the most part, I do follow most of those 11 rules above. 😲)

🤷To me, it feels pretty close to that "live and let live" philosophy. Everyone respects each other's boundaries, and nobody bothers anyone else without permission. Though, I have to say, Rule 7 is an absolute eyesore 😂 ... while everything else stays strictly social.

nah, I don't know all the specifics, I just recall you being baffled by how she still holds onto ("and pays back") stuff from way before I can even remember 😍
and personally, I find it pretty funny watching some people here act like their ignore list is some kind of miracle
seems a bit, hmm, yeah ....

lonegardener said:Hey, some people just give as good as they get, but others love to escalate things... you give him a wrong look and he slaps you across the face. At that point, whose fault is it really? 😍

Yes, I absolutely love lecturing 😵 — though I prefer to be upfront about it so nobody mistakenly takes me too seriously. 😬 That would be quite a burden to carry...

wow, you remember that? Though, your memory is a bit fuzzy. I wasn't at odds with her; she actually just muted me after I skipped Rule #3 out of those 11 guidelines a few times. 😬 Honestly, that's a perfect example of the overreactions I mentioned earlier, even if it wasn't quite that extreme...

(edit: by the way, this is a digital space; we aren't exactly the same as we are in real life. I find myself being more lenient on a forum than I would be in person, mostly because everyone here has the choice to either read my posts or just scroll past. In the real world, you can't always just ignore someone, which is why I'm much less aggressive in person. For the most part, I do follow most of those 11 rules above. 😲)

🤷To me, it feels pretty close to that "live and let live" philosophy. Everyone respects each other's boundaries, and nobody bothers anyone else without permission. Though, I have to say, Rule 7 is an absolute eyesore 😂 ... while everything else stays strictly social.

I don't see you as aggressive at all
just a little nitpicky, though
but then again, like you said, there's always that "skip" option 🙂

lonegardener said:Hey, some people just give as good as they get, but others love to escalate things... you give him a wrong look and he slaps you across the face. At that point, whose fault is it really? 😍

Yes, I absolutely love lecturing 😵 — though I prefer to be upfront about it so nobody mistakenly takes me too seriously. 😬 That would be quite a burden to carry...

wow, you remember that? Though, your memory is a bit fuzzy. I wasn't at odds with her; she actually just muted me after I skipped Rule #3 out of those 11 guidelines a few times. 😬 Honestly, that's a perfect example of the overreactions I mentioned earlier, even if it wasn't quite that extreme...

(edit: by the way, this is a digital space; we aren't exactly the same as we are in real life. I find myself being more lenient on a forum than I would be in person, mostly because everyone here has the choice to either read my posts or just scroll past. In the real world, you can't always just ignore someone, which is why I'm much less aggressive in person. For the most part, I do follow most of those 11 rules above. 😲)

🤷To me, it feels pretty close to that "live and let live" philosophy. Everyone respects each other's boundaries, and nobody bothers anyone else without permission. Though, I have to say, Rule 7 is an absolute eyesore 😂 ... while everything else stays strictly social.

I've never seen what that looks like🙄
but it must be hilarious 😁