My husband’s snoring was absolutely soul-crushing. Honestly, I was right on the verge of a total nervous breakdown. Eventually, I just snapped and told him, "Fine, go see a specialist so we can finally get to the bottom of this." Well, he went to the Sleep Center just like someone mentioned earlier, and it turns out he has severe apnea. Now he’s sleeping with one of those machines—I’ve attached a photo above—and he looks like a total snorkeler 😁, but honestly, that's a small price to pay compared to the constant noise and the massive health risks that apnea poses to his system.
Elizabeth Scott4 said:I won't linger on the point; have you ever paused to wonder if there is something fundamentally broken with your adolescent offspring?😕 To be precise, I found myself questioning today whether my niece—who is currently being ravaged by puberty—is actually schizophrenic (her mother carries the diagnosis, unfortunately). I certainly didn't experience these particular phases during my own youth, but this is a level of volatility that borders on the irrational. The weeping, the screaming, the slamming of doors, the baseless accusations that her grandmother is being abusive... She maintains her appearance, she's somewhat messy (which is standard for that age), she isn't negligent about herself, and she performs exceptionally well in school. However, we discovered cigarettes today. The resulting hysteria was so profound that I became genuinely convinced that if I continued the conversation, she would end up in a psychiatric ward. My pulse reached 92.🙂
How old is she? Honestly, none of what you're describing sounds like schizophrenia to me; it sounds much more like the textbook adolescent rebellion phase—all the protesting, the door slamming, and that desperate, misguided attempt to act grown-up (which usually involves picking up a cigarette). And they lie, believe me, they lie constantly.. If her mother is dealing with a serious illness, she might be having a harder time navigating puberty than most kids, but from my own experience watching the neighbors upstairs😛, we all went through this exact same stuff. It’s part of the process. It passes.
So, I ran into this pharmacist over the weekend—her kid actually went to the same preschool as mine—and she suggested I try using coconut oil. She mentioned it’s super gentle since it’s basically what people use for baby skin care anyway, so there's no harm in it. Apparently, if you soak a cotton ball in it, it can even help with those little blemishes. I think I'll give it a shot and see how it goes...
Mine is ten now, and this year we've started seeing those first little breakouts, especially during the summer when these unbearable heatwaves and constant sweating kick in. We aren't using any specific treatments yet; we're just sticking to washing her face. It isn't super severe, though. Her grandmother recently decided—without asking me, mind you—to try and squeeze one of the spots, which honestly made my blood boil. I'm not someone who obsesses over pimples, and her skin isn't even at the stage where squeezing would cause actual scarring or damage. But man, puberty is really starting to hit her. I'm keeping things under control for now, even though this whole shift toward her fighting for every single inch of autonomy is a massive adjustment for me.😁 I can still manage to make her realize when she's wrong just by giving her "the look"... but the way she does that heavy sigh or rolls her eyes... honestly, it's exhausting.😁
Angela Wright said:From what I understand, they did some renovations. Unfortunately, though, they frequently see patients who really belong in hospice care, and we are still facing a chronic shortage of those facilities. If your dad requires intensive care, then obviously he has to stay where he is. Regarding the doctors, I've been working closely with the maternity pathology unit, and the policy there is that patients are assigned by room (each doctor has their own ward), but generally speaking, all major decisions are made by a medical board. However, nothing moves forward without the department head's blessing, and he stays very active with patient rounds. Maybe try approaching it that way to get more info. The nurses should definitely know which doctor is primary and responsible for your father's care.
I asked if there was one specific doctor overseeing my dad, but the answer I got was that there isn't a single person, just a collective medical board making joint decisions. You're absolutely right, though—someone has to be the head of that department, so I'll go ask. As it stands, it's just this one massive room with about eight beds, where two nurses sit at a station monitoring everyone's vitals on a screen 24/7. Thanks for the advice—I'll find out tomorrow who the big boss actually is.
That’s exactly what keeps me up at night😢 When I asked my doctor the other day if he was even a candidate for being transferred to a small Midwestern town, she just gave me this stunned, blank stare and asked, "Wait, you *want* him moved to a small Midwestern town?" I had to clarify that I don't want him there—quite the opposite—I'm terrified he'll end up stuck in one of those places. For the moment, they’re keeping him in the ICU, and there hasn't been any talk about moving him anywhere else. To be perfectly honest, I know absolutely nothing about the medical facilities in that small town in the Midwest or the other small town in the Midwest, other than the fact that they have a reputation for being subpar, and I have no clue if they even possess the specialized equipment or life support Dad actually needs right now. I am truly, deeply grateful to the entire ICU team; they are genuinely trying to make this easier on both him and our family. I managed to catch a nurse today, though, and she made it very clear that there is absolutely no way Dad is being discharged from intensive care anytime soon. The thing is, they don't really have a dedicated primary physician assigned to him there because, as I've mentioned before, patients are monitored 24/7 and all the major decisions are handled during staff meetings. I can only pray that there won't be any more suggestions to move him elsewhere for the foreseeable future. They attempted to sit him up earlier, but it was a total failure... he needed help just to get toward the restroom, but we couldn't even manage that. Maybe this is off-topic, but does anyone know if the conditions in those small towns in the Midwest have changed at all, or is everything still just as bad as it used to be?
Of course, I’ve already heard stories about this from folks in my small Midwestern town who have dealt with similar messes. I am facing this kind of nightmare for the very first time in my life. I spoke with the doctors today, and they were incredibly kind, for which I am truly grateful. Basically, they explained that typically, patients stay in the ICU for about 24 hours before being moved to a regular ward. However, because my father is such a complicated case, he’s going to be staying put indefinitely. Tomorrow, they’re going to attempt to get him up so he can walk to the restroom—with medical assistance, obviously—to see how his heart handles the strain; if he stabilizes, they might move him from intensive care to a general floor, and then, depending on how he holds up, eventually head home. But looking at him right now, I just don't see that happening tomorrow. The moment they even tilt his bed or he shifts an inch, his pulse rockets past 150 and he starts struggling to breathe, though on the flip side, he has such an iron will that I wouldn't be surprised if he actually makes it to the bathroom, even if I highly doubt his diagnosis will allow him to move to a standard ward and then go home. There is always that terrifying possibility that someone will suggest moving him, and I’m honestly scared—what happens then? It’s only now hitting me just how massive of an unsolved crisis this is in our great country... vividsailor7 please correct me if I'm wrong, but do you think there's a genuine possibility they'll keep my dad in the hospital for as long as three months, given the specific diagnoses I detailed in the heart disease thread—this topic:
My apologies if someone has already covered this topic, but I’ve scoured everything and come up empty. My father is currently hospitalized—he's suffering from severe heart disease, and there is absolutely no chance of him returning home anytime soon. He is currently in the Intensive Care Unit. Is there actually a limit to how long they will keep a patient in the ICU before they force a transfer? I had a total panic attack today because someone dropped a bug in my ear, and it just triggered this irrational fear that after two weeks, the hospital will suddenly tell us he has to be moved elsewhere. Dad is conscious, but he is completely dependent on the machines, the IV drips, and the continuous medication. His condition is stable in the sense that it isn't fluctuating, but it is critical; while things could technically shift, we all know any change won't be for the better. I don't live in the same city as my parents, and honestly, Dad is terrified of hospitals and death—he calls them his "final stop in some small Midwestern town." I know the facility has been renovated and things are different now, but in his mind, being placed there is like being abandoned by his own family... So, I’m asking anyone who might have insight: is there a maximum timeframe for staying in the hospital? Someone mentioned a thirty-day limit, but that wasn't from a medical professional, just hearsay. I realize it can't be years, and it certainly won't be six months, but according to the prognosis, Dad doesn't even have that much time left.😢
What specific regulations are they citing when they claim a first-grade teacher isn't allowed to help a student? Look, I’m obviously not suggesting she should just sit there and do their homework for them, but there are times when the whole class needs to tackle a concept together when nobody gets it, or when a teacher needs to step in to guide and explain things—that is literally the entire point of her job. Where is this even written? Which handbook is making these claims? It’s absolute nonsense...
Casey Booth3 said:This sounds exactly like my daughter. She went from being this quiet, straight-A student to a full-blown heavy metal fan overnight, and it just keeps going... And she's only 15! But hey, she's still killing it in school, so I deal with it! You have to be firm to a certain extent, otherwise they lose their compass—they start thinking they can just do whatever they want, and they're still kids! We love them regardless, but you have to know when to hold the line and not defend everything they do; they need to live a little, that's just part of growing up. Don't pile too much on them; it's just a phase, puberty doesn't last forever, and we all survived it. It's definitely tougher for parents going through a divorce because the kids get conflicting advice from every direction, but your daughter is old enough that she’ll figure out who is who in time. My parents split up when I was 10, and I saw exactly who was the better person all on my own. Keep your head up and gear up those nerves for the future wins—together with your kids!
It really is an uphill battle for kids of divorced parents. I always say—it might be easy for us adults, but for them, it’s incredibly hard. Since I don't have any cooperation with the other side, I find myself constantly second-guessing whether I'm failing as a parent. My current husband actually laughs at me for it. He tells me, "Why are you letting them be the yardstick for your worth?" because, let's face it, they will always find something negative to say. It's clearly my own insecurity that I need to tackle. For instance, I have no clue what kind of music she's going to gravitate toward... we used to take the kids to see Taylor Swift or Bruce Springsteen concerts, but that was my call, not hers😁. Recently, she came home blasting Miley Cyrus songs, and what am I supposed to do? I ended up singing right along with her😁 They grow up so incredibly fast that sometimes I'll catch myself staring at this young lady—this actual adult in training—and wondering where the hell the time went. We remain just as close, just in a different way now. She has this entire social world of friends that she loves to tell me about, so I'm always in the loop. She trusts me with her crushes, too. We laugh together about the guys she spots during spring break, or how it feels when one of them finally says hello. She gives me the full rundown on how they act and how they look. Not long ago, one of them practically tripped over his own feet just trying to get a look at her. 😍 Whenever this happens, I think back to my own first crushes, and it just warms my heart; I don't have any bad memories of that age, just pure nostalgia . And even through the divorce from her father, I walked away with something beautiful—the absolute best thing in my life—her
Nicholas King said:It seems you haven't quite grasped the distinction between having actual authority and just being authoritarian. "They have to listen to me" has absolutely nothing to do with true authority.
If you’ve been paying any attention to my posts—and let’s be honest, you have—you’ve realized I’m the type of guy who tends to ramble quite a bit about my own life and how I view the world. By that same logic, if I take the time to read your posts—which, again, I do—it’s obvious you have a real penchant for over-analyzing everything. So, please, Charles Murphy6, do be a dear and enlighten me on the nuances here. I think I more or less follow your train of thought, but I’d much prefer if you actually laid out the difference for me. Thanks.🙂
Rachel Jones8 said:Let me tell you something about myself. I don't usually open up, but since this hits home regarding those first ten years, I'll do it for you...😁 I remember telling my mom once how much I used to love that grandma (my dad's mother-in-law). It caught her totally off guard. It wasn't some massive soulmate bond—I truly loved my other grandma—but I did love her... until I hit that age... where your daughter realizes that someone just isn't a good person. My mom didn't turn me against her (even though she didn't really like her either, and had plenty of reasons), it was just... when you reach that stage where you start judging people's actions and words for yourself, instead of just doing "whatever Mom says"... then you realize—this person isn't great, and I don't want to love them anymore. Your little girl is slowly outgrowing being a child and starting to think for herself (even if you thought she already was 😁), and honestly... you just have to accept it. You don't have to badmouth Grandma, but there's zero reason to sugarcoat things or try to paint her in a better light than she is. She knows who she likes and who she doesn't now. She has her own opinions about people, including Grandma... even though she feels like she shouldn't think poorly of her. But she can. You can just try to pretend (which is fine, you don't have to indulge her) that you don't feel the exact same way... while still respecting her perspective. Of course, just because she thinks that way doesn't mean she shouldn't be polite to Grandma, just like she always has been. 😉
This lunatic actually went to the poor kid recently and started lecturing her about the divorce, going into every single sordid detail. She is completely unhinged!! The child came home in total shock. Honestly, I don't think she'll ever forget it, especially all the nasty things she said about me—how lovely. 🙄 The crux of everything she said was this: "Your mother is a wicked person, and you'll realize that once you grow up!" So now we just wait... for her to grow up... so I can finally transform into a dragon or some kind of terrifying monster... Thanks for trusting me with this. :-))
Nicholas King said:But honestly, who can say for sure? Parental authority doesn't necessarily equate to a child feeling actual fear🙂.
I’ll give you their contact info so you can try explaining it to them yourself. 🙂 Just wait until you pop like a kernel of popcorn once you realize they don't grasp a single damn thing. I’ve tried telling them that I need to maintain authority, that she needs to listen to me, but all they say is, "Oh, but she's such an angel, she doesn't need that!" Sure, fine—she'll grow up like a wild weed and turn into a total disaster! But the second she actually screws up, they’re incredibly quick to snap back with, "Well, you're just the guardian."🙄 I honestly don't know why I even bother looking their way since our worlds have absolutely nothing in common, yet we're tethered together because of this child. Like some sort of fool, I find myself defending them while simultaneously trying to teach her to value things and respect people. I tell her she should feel ashamed for what she did to that pencil case her dad just bought her from Target$100. I really ought to just say, "Not my problem," but it *is* my problem. I won't let her act entitled, whether it's regarding a cheap item from Walmart$1.75 or something worth $500.
Grandparents and parenting styles😱 My parents don't act like they have any right to interfere... if they feel the need to comment on things, they direct it toward me. The mother of my ex is my absolute Achilles' heel. Yeah, a massive sore spot. By some stroke of sheer coincidence, whenever she’s over at her father’s place, she’s there with the grandmother. And let me tell you, this grandmother—who everyone seems to adore, especially Raymond—is someone I won't even dignify with a description... It’s hardly surprising that the child ends up completely confused when Mom says one thing and Grandma says the exact opposite. I was dealing with those "my way or the highway" attitudes since I was about seven years old. Now, at ten, Grandma has come up with a whole new set of fixations that my little girl, thank God, actually confides in me about. My ex claims she’s started being disrespectful toward her grandmother. Oh, really? Not on my watch. I make sure to remind her that Grandma is an elderly woman, and honestly, that usually shuts her down enough... But I will say this: that grandmother drives me absolutely insane—to the very edge of my sanity. The biggest issue is that my son (my ex) is just so compliant; he listens to his mother and thinks whatever she says is the absolute truth. On top of that, I’ve got a pre-teen daughter and two other people breathing down my neck who seem more interested in making my life miserable than actually looking out for the child. When I try to speak up, it feels like I'm talking to a brick wall. They claim she’s afraid of me, but the reality is there's just no communication; they have no clue what’s happening with her schoolwork or anything else, so they jump to the conclusion that she must be afraid of me just because she chooses to trust me instead.🙄To be perfectly honest, I know I am an authority figure, but I have never once laid a hand on my child, called her stupid, or badmouthed the other parent. Sure, I’m strict, but that’s strictly regarding her education—getting homework done, reading her books independently, writing, keeping her stuff organized... why should I feel guilty for enforcing responsibilities? Reading back through this now, I am just livid because they’ve managed to send my blood pressure through the roof all over again.😠
Nicholas King said:I honestly don't follow—what does "throwing kids under the bus just to teach them their place" actually look like in practice?
Furthermore, regarding this whole idea of always taking the child's side—are you suggesting that a parent shouldn't back their kid even when the other parent is clearly in the wrong, or are you implying that it's simply impossible for a parent to make a mistake?
Oh, please—any parent claiming they’ve never messed up is lying through their teeth. I certainly have, more than once, and what am I supposed to do about it? I apologize to my little girl and we talk it out. I’d love to tell you I’m perfect, but I’m clearly not.🙂 My ten-year-old has undergone this subtle shift lately. And by subtle, I mean she went from being this quiet, easygoing kid where I never had to repeat myself—like, "put your shoes away"—to someone who needs constant reminders. Now, she's become quite the orator, a real little advocate for her own rights. It's a massive change for me, even though she's still a good kid at heart; she’s just become much more aware of herself and her own identity. There are times when she isn't around and I'll tell my husband, "I am just exhausted from all the talking.🤣" God, the speed at which she can chatter! The second she drops her backpack—which, by the way, is now left wherever she happens to land rather than being put in her room—she starts unloading the entire saga of her school day. I sit there, listening and listening... then she starts critiquing her friends, and I'll step in to say, "Hey, take a breath," and give her some perspective on why certain things shouldn't be said or done. Basically, it's just an endless loop of conversation. In her life, I have always been the "strict" parent. I am truly not exaggerating when I say I rarely feel the need to yell or hand out punishments. In fact, I think the worst thing I can do is stay silent; the moment I shut down, she notices immediately and insists we debate it. It isn't easy, let me tell you. I'm currently navigating this phase of huge transitions (and she's only just starting!), and the real upheavals are still ahead of us. Hopefully, they aren't too catastrophic.
Charles Murphy6, I am honestly just relieved that everything turned out okay. 🙂
I really appreciate you sharing that feedback. I was well aware that D-dimer levels can spike following an infection, but I truly had no idea they could skyrocket quite this much from a standard viral bug.
It’s a piece of information that I believe will be incredibly useful for my future work.
Once again, I want to say a sincere thank you for reaching out.
Best regards. 🙂
Well, based on how I felt, I'm pretty sure it was a bacterial infection—sinuses, throat, the whole deal—and I suffered through it for five solid days. On the sixth day, I went in to get my dimers checked. At that point, I hadn't even started antibiotics yet. Once the antibiotics kicked in, the dimer levels finally dropped.
Kate Collins67 makes a valid point: the doctor told me there’s no sense in testing them just for the sake of it because when they are that high, it is nearly impossible to determine a baseline. I definitely lucked out that they came down... and frankly, I never want to deal with those tests ever again because the sheer stress they caused me is something I am still recovering from. Those numbers sent me straight back eight years ago to when I was battling cancer, and of course, I absolutely lost it with fear. What is actually bothering me right now is my calcium levels; the doctor was actually quite frustrated that I hadn't received my supplement yet (one of my teeth even cracked, not to mention my joints are aching), but he couldn't officially document that he wanted me on calcium instead of just Vitamin D—apparently, you aren't supposed to step on a colleague's toes at the same hospital by prescribing what someone else should be handling, so he just gave me the advice verbally... doctors don't want to cause friction with their peers, I suppose... that's just how it works. That said, I have nothing but praise for him, especially since he actually went above and beyond by calling his own supervisor and consulting with the oncology department on my behalf. I think he was genuinely moved when I admitted I knew about all this about as much as a cow knows about ballet and that I was absolutely terrified. He was truly compassionate. I'm grateful to him.
Here’s the update straight from the source—I ended up in the ER. The doctor actually had the audacity to ask me why I even bothered testing my D-dimer levels in the first place, which left me completely speechless since I certainly wasn't the one who ordered the labs. He went on to explain that D-dimer levels can skyrocket during just about any inflammatory state, so we eventually concluded that because I was fighting off a nasty virus (which I'd been battling for five days prior), that was likely the culprit behind the spike. After running some additional coagulation panels, the internist really rolled up his sleeves and dug in, and sure enough, those D-dimer numbers dropped right back down to the normal range. Long story short, a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders; it isn't cancer. He did express some confusion as to why I was prescribed Vitamin D instead of calcium. He ran the tests, though I hadn't fasted, and since I'd been intentionally loading up on calcium through my diet, my ionized calcium levels looked perfectly fine—even if he did lecture me that it was due to my breakfast and insisted I fast next time. So, there you have it: for anyone out there staring at an elevated D-dimer result, just know it can be driven incredibly high by a severe viral infection. Mr. Thank You to everyone for the conversations and the advice.🙂
I've just finished reading through the text, and if my understanding isn't completely flawed, I might actually be facing cancer 😲 Well, there goes my sleep...
It’s not even a big deal🙂 Honestly, I barely follow what you guys are saying—maybe a tiny bit, if I'm being generous. Tomorrow, I’m heading to my OB-GYN, who basically told me over the phone that she needs to pin down the root cause before she can decide on next steps.
Is there any chance that relatively low ionic calcium levels and D-dimer results are actually connected? To be completely blunt, I am incredibly worried, and frankly, this whole situation is making me feel physically nauseous. Maybe I should have just listened to my husband and rushed straight to the emergency room at the Mayo Clinic with my lab results to let them deal with my mess, but I honestly don't know if they would have actually admitted me or just dismissed me as yet another hypochondriac based on these numbers.🙄(Unless, of course, I had just faked a sudden blackout😁).
I just got off the phone with my endocrinologist. She claims the lab results aren't cause for alarm, but honestly, even if my main symptoms have subsided, I’m still feeling this constant, nagging ache in my joints—everywhere from my hands down to my feet. It hurts. She instructed me to bump up the Rocaltrol to two tablets daily and then recheck my calcium levels in ten days. To be perfectly blunt, I have a bit of a lingering resentment about playing the "know-it-all" with my doctors. I didn't go out and request any of those tests that Kate Collins67 suggested.😢 Whether I should start acting like an expert myself or just follow orders, I truly haven't the slightest clue what to do...😢
Thanks a million for all the input here.🙂 I'm not dealing with heavy periods right now—I used to have them back before I started on birth control, which unfortunately meant ending up on the operating table for curettages quite a few times... life without a thyroid really does strange things to you. My hands and feet aren't swollen. I get occasional ankle issues, but that’s mostly just from sitting at a desk all day. My heart isn't racing either. The only weird thing is that, every once in a while, my palms and soles just start burning up and itching like crazy. I have absolutely no clue what causes it. It hits me out of nowhere and then just vanishes. Honestly, God help me, I’m going to turn into a total hypochondriac. And just when I thought I had finally gotten past all this! :-))))))) So, you're saying Rocaltrol isn't actually a good calcium supplement? I am genuinely, completely baffled. I'm looking at the medication instructions right now and it says exactly that. So, what am I even supposed to take? Ugh. If my own endocrinologist doesn't know the answer, who on earth am I supposed to ask?