Charles Hayes6 said:So, it’s been about ten days since I stood there as the best man, and I finally feel like I can sit down and process everything. I wanted to share how the whole thing went with you guys. After overthinking it for ages, I finally settled on a gift combo: a nice watch, a camera, a cool book, a cake, and some cash in an envelope just so they could grab drinks later. I ended up dropping about $1100 on the whole thing. When we first walked into their place, I spent maybe five minutes catching up with my godson. I handed over the gifts, and he goes straight for the book—which was actually the biggest part of the package. But instead of really looking at it, he kind of peels it open from the bottom halfway up, doesn't even check out the title, and just stuffs it back in the bag. Then he opens the camera and makes some comment about how he can use it for his trips now. He checks out the watch, says it's nice, gives his thanks, and then just heads off to another room. Meanwhile, his mom leans in and whispers, "Wait, what did you guys actually get them?" Then we spent another five minutes in the church, just standing in line waiting for the Bishop to arrive. Honestly, the only photo taken of me was one with the Bishop himself. By the time evening rolled around and we were saying our goodbyes, we spent another few minutes with the kid, and he suddenly announces that once school lets out, he's heading to the coast for a couple of weeks!
I’d really love for you to tell us how you're feeling about the whole thing?
Sam Murphy said:Please, enlighten those of us who aren't in the loop, because from everything I see and observe, kids haven't been more difficult than they are right now, and back in our day, none of us would have dreamed of disrespecting a teacher because we knew exactly what the consequences were... but today, teachers have lost almost all their authority, and if this trend of extreme liberalism and hyper-focus on "student rights" continues, we're going to see kids physically attacking them as early as elementary school. Honestly, when the kids come home from school, they act like little savages because they’ve been allowed to do whatever they want there; now, my own children don't cause trouble at school, but plenty of others do, and my kids witness it and talk about it at home, leaving me wondering how on earth I’m supposed to explain to them that such behavior is unacceptable when the school just sits there and tolerates it...
The harsh reality that most parents hate to swallow is that a lot of this behavior starts at home. It's a bitter pill for parents dealing with "troubled" kids to gulp down, mostly because they refuse to admit their own failures in upbringing, though I see it every single day—I see some parents finally realize the truth and just break down in tears because they know they messed up.. Kids certainly have rights, there's no doubt about that. But teachers have rights too, don't they? Don't they have the right to not be harassed by students during class, just as much as students have the right to be free from physical or psychological abuse? Giving actual advice is a tall order since I haven't quite parsed the specifics of your question yet. What kind of nonsense are we actually talking about here? Why exactly are these kids coming home acting feral? Are they frustrated by the chaos in the classroom? I haven't read everything, but when it comes to egregious professional errors, I know exactly where to apply pressure. Not to brag, but I’ve taken down some "big shots" myself—and I succeeded. Persistence is everything in these situations. You also have to know exactly which doors to knock on. And for heaven's sake, never, ever rely on verbal agreements. Never. Remember that!
swiftbear86 said:The church isn't the one driving this. It's actually those parents and godparents who can't get enough of showing off. They want to look important. Plus, kids end up having all these expectations because that's exactly what their parents drilled into them from day one.
Honestly, I haven't met a single godfather in my life who actually wanted to "flex" his status with everything he had. Sure, maybe someone might take out a massive loan just to buy some kid a top-of-the-line smartphone, a high-end laptop, or some other ridiculous gadget, but it's rarely out of pure intention. And let's be real, the parents are the ones calling all the shots here. We can definitely agree on that. A child is just a child—they might tell their parents they want this or that, but it's the adults' job to step in and explain how the real world actually works. If a kid ends up feeling completely crushed by disappointment, then you've clearly failed miserably at teaching them what things are actually worth in life.
I honestly don't even know where to begin with this absolute nonsense, but here we go again. It’s just one thing after another lately, isn't it? Every time I think we've reached some kind of baseline level of absurdity, someone decides to throw a wrench in the gears just for the hell of it, and frankly, I'm exhausted by the sheer incompetence on display. It feels like we're constantly spinning our wheels while everyone else is just watching us fail from the sidelines. Honestly, it’s enough to make you want to walk away from the whole mess entirely, but instead, I find myself sitting here, venting into the void because clearly, someone has to point out how ridiculous this all is. Nicholas King says: 🙄 1000,00-$3333 Regarding Krizmanikov... or whatever else we’re calling this mess (I honestly have no clue what a decent scooter even goes for these days)... I have to ask: what exactly did someone who sat through seven or eight years of religious studies actually earn? Because from where I'm standing, they certainly didn't earn anything more or less than a damn scooter. In a country where the average salary is what, exactly? Maybe around... $1667Look, let’s be honest here: the social safety net was already struggling at $70, but after these recent price hikes, we’re probably looking at a baseline closer to $80 just to keep our heads above water.
Honestly, you are being incredibly naive.😁 I’ve noticed that the people hunting for those kinds of lavish gifts don't actually pick their godparents based on genuine friendship or any kind of emotional bond; instead, they scout specifically for whoever has a bank account large enough to hit those ridiculous price points you mentioned. It honestly makes me sick to see how they’ll reach out to someone they haven't even spoken to in over a year, completely ignoring the fact that the person being asked hasn't given a single thought to becoming a godparent, only to vanish again for another twelve months once this "noble" little favor is completed. At the end of the day, the objective is what actually matters—not who you're tied to or who pulled some strings for you. You don't just turn down an opportunity because of some old loyalty or a favor owed.😁 And then what? Where does everyone go? Honestly, where on earth does everyone end up drifting off to? You’re going to have to put in some serious legwork and really sweat if you want to track down godparents like that these days, because let’s face it—everyone’s piggy banks are looking pretty damn empty, and before you know it, people are going to start aggressively hunting down anyone they can call a sponsor.😁
The thing is, there’s no such thing as mandatory elective classes. They didn't happen this year, and they certainly weren't an option last year either... What gets written down in the official curriculum is basically just window dressing since nobody actually follows it—not that I’ve ever bothered to dig through those documents myself. But now, they're going around collecting parental consent forms for electives for the upcoming school year, supposedly so they can gauge interest levels and figure out how many hours the instructors will actually need to be on the clock.
Rachel Jones8 said:I'm not totally sure how things have changed for next year, but as far as I know, electives used to be required. Like, you had to pick something—maybe a language, computer science, or religion—you couldn't just skip them entirely. Actually, maybe that wasn't always the case, but at one point it definitely felt that way... if I remember right.
There's no obligation,🙂 but once a kid signs up, they're stuck with it until the end of the school year.. Besides, at the start of the term, parents have to sign declarations stating that their children intend to enroll in specific elective classes.. I'll probably be shocked when someone inevitably chimes in claiming they've never even heard of such a thing..
Walter Perez14 said:Look, this might be the wrong place to vent, so don't come for me if I'm off base, but... I heard a rumor (or maybe I just totally misread the situation), that starting next school year, elementary school kids won't actually be forced to take an elective subject. I tried asking at the PTA meeting, but my mom—who was there with me—was basically speechless. She couldn't even wrap her head around it—she wasn't sure if this applies to kids who have a bunch of electives and just want to drop one, or if it means those kids who only have one elective can ditch that too.
The term "elective" should really speak for itself—it’s an elective, which by definition means it isn't mandatory. However, if you enroll your kid in a course at the start of the academic year, current rules dictate they have to stick with it until the end of the term. At the beginning of every new school year, for students who were already enrolled in an elective from the previous year, if the child simply doesn't have the interest anymore, you just submit a formal request to the School Board to be excused from further participation.
Jason Ortiz5 said:Actually, I’d love to talk about the past. It feels like you hear educators whining constantly about how much better things used to be, how they had more authority, more respect, and more control.
I’m not sure where you got the idea from my post that I was suggesting anything physical. 🤷 We have principals, we have the school board, and if things get really messy, there’s always the police or the local news. I’ve never laid a hand on anyone in my life and I don't condone using force, period. There are always other ways to deal with it...
Look, you totally misread me—it might have come across that way in my writing, but I certainly wasn't implying that you personally should be getting into physical altercations.😉
So what if they do? You could probably use one of them to prop up a wobbly leg on a coffee table😁 No, seriously—this is getting ridiculous, and I’ve already pointed out how much people are overreacting. At this point, people aren't even picking a godmother based on friendship anymore; they're basically vetting candidates by their credit score and net worth. As far as I’m concerned, nobody is ever going to ask me to be a godmother anytime soon given my bank balance.😁
Nobody would ever pick me to be their godmother because the second I show up wielding a Bible, they’d act like the apocalypse is imminent—as if time itself would freeze and everyone would start screaming in absolute horror at my very existence.😁 I was sitting on the bus today, minding my own business, when I overheard this mother and daughter having a conversation... the girl asks her mom, "Hey Mom, what should I ask for as a gift for my communion? Maybe a watch, what do you think?" The mother just responds with total, deadpan indifference: "Well, isn't one watch from $333 plenty enough?.." I swear, I had to bite my tongue so hard to keep from shouting something back..
I’m not going to dwell on the past—what’s done is done—but let me be perfectly clear: teachers simply need to understand that such behavior is strictly forbidden. My husband and I would never resort to physical confrontation with those kinds of educators, but believe me, there are plenty of other ways to make someone pay. Perhaps I’m in a slightly more advantageous position because, given my profession and how hard I work, I know exactly where to strike to make it hurt... though I certainly don't mean physically.
Susan James said:Yeah, it’s a shame for his family, but☕ nothing justifies him bullying twelve kids. Besides, I'm pretty sure they could find someone else to fill his spot in no time.
Personally, I would have reported it right from the start.
I'm not sure if you filed a formal report yet, but if you did, I really hope you kept a paper trail. There's no point in trying to negotiate with the school administration anymore. You should take this straight to the Department of Education and the Office for Civil Rights. This time, you need to include both the principal and the entire administrative staff in the complaint, since they were clearly aware of what was happening and failed to act.
Even that psychologist who told you the child just needs to "tough it out"—you could file a grievance against her with the state licensing board too.
I second everything said here, word for word. It’s simple math—you aren't cut out to be an educator, so move on. The fact that other parents aren't making a scene has absolutely nothing to do with the validity of your situation. There is always a way to handle this—it might be messy and unpleasant, but it is necessary for the well-being of the children attending that school. There should be no hesitation or "what if" scenarios... Act right now.
Paul Kern12 said:For some, that harsh approach is perfectly acceptable—even preferred—while others seem relatively indifferent toward the school system and their children's education, essentially thinking, "as long as they just make it through middle school." The teacher is certainly aware of this dynamic; he actually told me, "We'll have to see what the other parents think—you can't force my hand here."
If I were in your shoes, I would head straight to the State Department of Education inspectors. Reading through this thread feels like watching some twisted horror movie unfold right before my eyes. You can file a formal written complaint—even an anonymous one—providing a complete, unvarnished account of exactly what is happening in that classroom. By law, the inspectors are required to conduct a field investigation. Even if they don't find anything groundbreaking, they’ll give him a warning, and I guarantee the principal won't be happy about having inspectors sniffing around the school, which will force them to put this teacher under a microscope. To be perfectly honest, I would have reacted the very second he struck that child with his notebook. I am the type of parent who would go through literal brick walls for my kid. There is absolutely nothing anyone could do to stop me... no chance at all.
Rachel Jones8 said:Honestly, it’s hard to believe a 6-year-old would come up with something like that entirely on her own without any influence from home or school. Still, I respect her choice, and I think you guys handled it perfectly by being chill about it.
On a different note, I really wasn't a fan of how aggressive one of those preschool teachers was being about it.
Look, it’s incredibly difficult for you to judge the situation when you don't actually know my child, and if you did, you might have a different take on it altogether. Sometimes I feel a sense of regret because she has always been far beyond her years. Sure, call her "mature," fine, but even at three, her cognitive reasoning was more aligned with a six-year-old, and by six, she was operating on an even higher level—not to mention now that she's nine... It’s not that I’m trying to praise her, per se; truthfully, it’s almost a burden because she often struggles to relate to children her own age who are actually behaving like typical kids.
My daughter decided she wanted to be baptized when she was nearly six years old, driven by this intense, unshakable desire of hers. Honestly, I haven't the slightest clue where that impulse came from; nobody planted those seeds in her head, especially since I wasn't raised with that kind of religious fervor myself, yet she just refused to let the idea go. She has this unique, personal connection with God—not something tied to organized religion or sitting in a pew, but something internal that I’ve witnessed firsthand. She simply believes, and frankly, I have no intention of standing in the way of that. As for gifts, her godparents gave her a bracelet and her grandparents gave her a necklace. That was it. For her, the significance was in the act itself, whereas for me, the priority was simply being there by her side to support her wish, and I don't regret it for a second. Even when it came to choosing religious studies at school, she made the call herself; I didn't push for it, nor did I fight against it.
Yeah, Lord, you’re making perfect sense here—you hit the nail right on the head. Regarding all this gift-giving business—I’ve been a godmother twice now, even if I haven't done the baptismal thing yet, and not once have I spent more than $117. Am I being stingy? Not at all; my friends understand that when they ask me to be a godmother out of pure friendship, it’s coming from the heart, not a deep pocket. And if anyone ever asks me to take on that role for a formal ceremony, they can expect the exact same level of generosity. I refuse to spend my entire month living on bread and water just to cater to some kid's whims or the sheer entitlement of rude parents. With an attitude like mine, nobody is likely to pick me to be a godmother, which honestly isn't a bad thing if you ask me.☕ Actually, maybe someone will, but it’ll be the real ones—the friends who actually understand what we can afford and realize that by the time their kids are old enough to care, they'll know that Auntie Charles Murphy6 doesn't exactly have a massive fortune stashed away somewhere in the USA....
And then, at the end of the ballad, they head off to high school where they enroll in ethics instead of religious studies, only to be taught a completely different version of faith altogether.☕ No, look, as long as they’ve got a smartphone in hand and a laptop in their room, that's what actually matters...😁
It’s pathetic, but let’s be honest: kids these days are only looking forward to their First Communion or Confirmation because they’re eyeing the gifts or the cash handouts. We can try to run from this reality, but there’s no escaping it. I’ve already had parents come to me asking exactly what the kids want—whether it’s cold hard cash or a specific gadget. Honestly, as a parent, the idea of walking up and saying, "My kid wants a new MacBook," feels incredibly humiliating, and if I couldn't even afford that for my own child, the last thing I’d ever do is impose that expectation on someone else. If it were up to me, I’d just bake a cake and buy a cheap little necklace—which would probably get lost in a week anyway—or maybe a Bible, though let’s face it, those usually end up being used as doorstops or something to whack people with, so what choice do I really have? I don't even know anymore; the whole situation is becoming downright grotesque. The way they approach faith nowadays is absolutely disgusting, especially when you hear about priests telling kids during their confirmation prep that they'll basically be getting a "gift card" tucked into their plate... The whole thing makes me sick, truly.
I’m offering these suggestions based purely on my own experience, but at this stage, the final call on how to proceed rests entirely with her. Regarding filing a police report, it’s a bit late to start playing catch-up now—though, as Nicholas King rightly pointed out, dealing with the police is often an uphill battle regardless—but as I’ve already laid out, the situation has shifted into a completely different animal than if she had just filed a report herself instead of letting the school get involved in the middle of it. What we're looking at now is something that needs to be handled strictly at the school administration level.
Regardless of how that parent chose to phrase things—calling a teacher at their house at 10:00 PM is just plain wrong. No, it isn't normal. Look, I get it, his kid is upset, but what exactly did he hope to accomplish at that hour? And then he goes and switches from singular to plural mid-sentence—honestly, who cares about the grammar when the behavior is this erratic. I would absolutely make sure there is a written record of this encounter, and I say that based on my own lived experience. The official report should be filed with the school board; you’d coordinate with the administration to draft a formal memo for everyone I mentioned.