Posts by dustypilot11

Angela Campbell84 said:...just let us write our poetry in peace.

👋

Talking about the moderator, obviously. 🙂

Angela Campbell84 said:My morning sickness finally quit on me ages ago, so I'm not exactly stuck in bed anymore. 🥳 You don't really ask how I'm doing much so of course you wouldn't know. It's fine, just typical forum stuff. 😁

Haven't seen ya till today. 🙂

Angela Campbell84 said:Didn't realize you and dustypilot11 were psychic now.

So when am I hitting the jackpot? 🍿

Not psychic. You're the one who said you needed to retire.

Looking at the stats instead of magic... the answer is never.

I don't think either one of you gets how life actually works, especially since you're both basically stuck in neutral right now. 🍿

Ashley Ramos78 said:Can I just get a requested ban for like two weeks to start?

[just wanna take a break from all the absolute nonsense and idiots wasting my time]

Then I can always renew my sub later if the break actually feels good...

[which probably won't happen since there's zero stuff left on this site worth reading]

What do you think—do mods who aren't even getting paid for this job just want to hand out bans to anyone who breathes wrong? 🙂

Jeremy Alvarez5 said:Her whole stance basically implies—"I used to be just like that," so you and I are cut from the same cloth. And trying to prove her wrong just ends up tearing the connection apart.

Times weren't always like they are now; I grew up in a quiet suburb where there was hardly any traffic, and kids would just wander around outside.

I'm talking about those early moments when you were crawling or maybe eventually walking, but definitely not running yet.

I can always find comfort in knowing there are definitely people worse off than me.

Maybe that’s exactly what Mom was aiming for.

You can either lean on statements like that to feel better, or you can actually work on yourself. I guess it really just comes down to faith and the choice you make. Otherwise, you’re just fighting against your own "truth"—this idea built on a mountain of mistakes and proof that things can't change, including all the pain caused by staying stuck. Like someone once said; people tend to cling to their own suffering.

It’s not like I have a mental block or anything; it's more like the ability is there somewhere, but I just can't access it. I simply don't have those skills. It's like how some people just aren't wired for logic or math, whereas I am.

It’s kind of funny how this pattern stays the same whenever anyone suggests ways to help, regardless of whatever psychology textbook topic we're discussing. The only difference here is that you won't find any trained, offended authorities to lecture you, since I'm just suggesting you try doing it without the tablet. Those experts haven't even seen a path for developing frustration in this little issue yet because they haven't officially filed it under classification F-789cx-11 😍 ; the solution being 150 mg of peppermint-flavored metaminiandol. The hardest part is getting the ego to decide to head back to "school." And when it finally happens, it's usually out of pure, accumulated frustration rather than just one single event. So, at that point, there isn't just one simple fix anymore.

Oh, okay. So if a mom tells her kid—who literally shares 50% of her DNA—that they look or act alike, she's suddenly a manipulator causing deep psychological trauma? Yeah, makes total sense. Especially since I was already an adult by then. Real logical stuff. ☕

You can keep clinging to those empty excuses if you want, or you can actually work on yourself. It’s all down to faith and whether you actually decide to change. Otherwise, you're just fighting your own bullshit—ignoring a mountain of mistakes and proof that things can't be any other way, even after all the crap you've suffered because of it. Like someone once said: people honestly seem to love their own misery.

What am I supposed to work on? Like, I already said that being in the red doesn't stop me from heading out somewhere. If I was too chicken to go anywhere just because I might lose some cash, then maybe you'd actually have a point.

It’s funny how people react the exact same way whenever someone suggests helping out, no matter what kind of psychological mess you're dealing with. The only difference here is that you won't find any offended experts to lecture you—since I'm suggesting you try doing this without a tablet...

What are you even talking about?! What tablets?! Since when does anyone carry around a tablet just to use GPS these days? 😕

Jeremy Alvarez5 said:It's pretty interesting how much weight we give to what our moms think in these discussions. I guess a lot of people "love" their friends or parents by basically just echoing whatever they believe. It creates this weird tension because if you start questioning someone's take on a third party, it might not be the most polite thing to do. You end up seeing those later patterns, like kids growing up singing songs about how they want to be "just like Dad." It’s like this emotional mechanism kicks in and makes decisions for us before our brains even catch up. To actually try and see things differently, you'd first have to admit that your mom—and plenty of others—might actually be wrong. And let's be real, when people aren't right, they don't always love hearing it, and disagreeing often triggers some kind of defensive reaction.

Historically, certain military groups would take boys as young as seven to build their own elite units. Some of the older theories regarding early childhood consciousness suggest a specific way of treating them: just make sure they aren't crying, aren't hungry, and stay still. In some rural areas, infants were swaddled so tightly they could barely move a finger. Now, when you consider the shift from the womb—where everything is warm, there's constant food, the steady rhythm of a heartbeat, familiar voices, and the freedom to move through amniotic fluid—to being suddenly restricted and unable to move, it creates this sense of unease. They're stuck, they're scared, and they haven't even established a baseline for those familiar frequencies or sounds yet... Do you even remember any of that period from when you were an infant or a toddler?

I have a two-and-a-half-year-old daughter, for example. She’s already learned a million things, imitating everything she sees. There are things she’s allowed to do and things that are strictly off-limits—especially trying to run down a steep, slippery hill after she's already slipped once. Since I wouldn't let her, she just flopped onto the ground and threw a massive tantrum, probably because she's used to getting her way most of the time. It's the same with the beach; she wasn't allowed in the water whether it was summer or winter, long before she could even walk, but she wanted to go the second she was mobile because we've made bath time such a big deal at home. During those first few years of life, kids go through way more psycho-mental experiences than they can actually process—which means you can't really know, like most people can't, if you were being punished or how. You just can't be conscious of it. I find it hard to believe that a kid could wander off and somehow escape punishment; I doubt that happens with people who actually raise and watch their children, and honestly, it probably doesn't happen with wolves or lions or any other mammals either.

My takeaway is that because our parents might have had more intense experiences trying to manage kids attempting to wander or explore, they ended up carrying more trauma regarding how they handled infancy. Those traumas then echo through as a sort of emotional imposition on the next generation, which tends to be smaller and raised in environments where they have a bit more freedom to move. That’s why that "intuitive" clash with your earliest authority figure feels so heavy, even if the love for them hasn't faded one bit.

Look, I read what you wrote, so do me a favor and actually read what I'm saying if you're gonna reply.
I am nowhere near mentioning my mom's opinion. Or whether she agrees with anything. All I said was that back in college, when I was wondering why I was struggling with stuff, my mom just said, "Well, I'm like that too." That's it.
Sure, adult behavior can stem from childhood, but some people are just born with certain traits.
It's not like I have some mental block holding me back; I just don't have the skill. Like how some people just can't do math, and I can.

I don't buy that you could wander off on your own without getting in trouble. Doesn't happen with good parents, and probably doesn't happen with wolves or lions or any other mammals either.

Maybe you just don't believe it, but that's how it was. 🤷
Times were different back then. I lived in a quiet suburb, hardly any traffic, and kids were just out running around everywhere.

Taylor Smith3 said:I am profoundly directionally challenged, and I don’t believe there is any cure for it. I could visit the exact same location a million times with someone else, yet if they are the one navigating, I simply stop looking at where we are going. If I were tasked with finding that same spot on my own, I would be utterly lost. It is somewhat embarrassing to admit, but I have three aunts living relatively close to one another, and even though I visited them constantly growing up, I wouldn't be able to find their neighborhood alone. I used to find this trait amusing, right up until the moment I started driving. Now, I use my car exclusively for quick trips around the suburbs or when I am accompanied by someone else. While I am actually quite a capable driver, I simply lack the nerve to drive into the heart of the city because I fear getting lost and causing some sort of traffic chaos. Whenever I have to head somewhere unfamiliar, I feel a genuine sense of nausea in my stomach. It offers a small amount of comfort to see how many other people struggle with this same issue, but nonetheless, it remains a persistent and growing source of anxiety for me lately.

Exactly.

Now I only use my car for quick trips around the neighborhood or when someone's driving with me. I'm a decent driver, but I just don't dare drive downtown because I'm terrified of getting lost and causing a massive wreck.

Yeah, not really. 😁
I'm getting out of here, period. I refuse to just sit around acting like a victim. At least I can tell myself there's definitely people doing worse than me 😁

Jeremy Alvarez5 said:I was reading this piece in the news recently that tries to argue everything comes down to genetic predisposition. The idea is basically that since men were the ones hunting and navigating the wilderness back in prehistoric times while women stayed home to look after the kids, those traits just stuck. But then again, you have to consider the cultural side of things—the way we’re raised from day one. I mean, girls aren't exactly encouraged to grow up to be like California, so they might end up getting disciplined more often for just wanting to wander off and explore. It’s probably not even about one single traumatic event, either. It feels more like an accumulation of stuff, you know? Like a slow build-up resulting from operant conditioning. If kids learn primarily through imitation and trial and error—which is something I’ve actually seen happen firsthand—it doesn't mean that "experimenting" won't turn into negative conditioning if the parents don't approve. It could be anything from a sharp lecture to a smack on the backside. It's all connected, I guess.

I guess if that theory actually holds water, there’s this idea that just by trying to find your way, you might be subconsciously inviting a kind of punishment for being lost in the first place. It’s like the very act of trying to build a mental map becomes too much of a burden to carry, so maybe, deep down, we just choose to stay lost. It feels like an attempt to outgrow some old childhood patterns—trying to gain control by rejecting authority—but then, by losing your bearings in the physical world, you end up right back in that headspace of pure frustration and total loss of control. It’s like the circle just closes itself.

I guess one way to stop those negative subconscious loops from hitting you over and over might be—well, just like a lot of other things I think about—focusing on building up some actual self-awareness. It’s not like we all walk around with the same internal compass or the same baggage, right? We’re all conditioned differently by how we grew up. Like, someone who was raised super religious might deal a massive internal shock or even develop a real neurosis if they see a different perspective that seems totally normal to everyone else. So, maybe instead of trying to tackle the heaviest, most intense emotional rollercoasters head-on—which sounds exhausting, honestly—we should try a bit of a detour. Maybe the goal is more about "re-training" ourselves through self-awareness by practicing how to stay calm and observant during the small, harmless stuff. If you can master those minor habits and little discomforts, you eventually build the muscle to bridge the gap over much bigger traumas, whether that's deep-seated inhibitions or whatever else comes up. The trick, if there is one, is basically doing things backwards. Just... flip the script on your usual habits. Try doing things the "hard" or creative way just for the sake of it. I mean, write with your non-dominant hand, try a weird new way of dancing, or experiment with how you talk to people just to keep your brain focused on your own presence. Even meditation, or any kind of practice where you try to stay aware of your whole body while observing yourself... it’s all about finding ways to maintain that sense of being an observer. But you have to start small. Really small steps. If you do this long-term, I think you eventually reach a level of self-awareness where you can actually outrun those subconscious impulses. You start recognizing them before they even fully manifest—you notice the subtle stuff, like the way you phrase things, a twitch in your face, or all those tiny nervous habits that don't really serve you. Once you recognize yourself in those moments, it kind of cuts their power in half. Eventually, you can even see how ridiculous they are, and finally, you just grow past them. You gain the willpower to move forward.

I guess people just get conditioned in totally different ways. It’s why some folks look at someone else's struggles—whether it's deep-seated trauma or just those specific work-related neuroses—and think it's all super trivial. They don't really grasp how intense those emotional associations can be, how they stick to you and shape who you are. Then, of course, there's this massive frustration when things don't work out because they keep trying to "run headfirst into a wall." They have this habit of tackling the complex stuff before mastering the basics, even though learning usually works the other way around—you start small and build up to the heavy lifting. A big part of the problem is that people listen to bad advice or spend too much time comparing themselves to others. They end up competing with people who either mock their issues or simply don't have any clue how to fix them. It just creates this feedback loop where frustration builds, and both sides end up feeling pretty powerless to actually change anything.

They say the brain basically dies off as we age, except for certain functions like learning and a few other things. If that's true, I suppose it’s actually a pretty good reason to try and relearn everything about ourselves. Personally, I’d say that whole idea of "self-work"—you know, searching for that inner peace that lets you stay in control during stressful or emotionally charged moments (which is obviously different for everyone)—could be a real remedy for a lot of mental struggles. It’s often explained through Zen parables and stuff like that, but I think it really opens doors to abilities we didn't even know we had.

Don't know about you guys; I didn't deal with any of that trauma. Nobody ever punished me for getting lost, and I wasn't exactly wandering off as a kid. For me, it's just genetic (or so my mom claims). I totally bomb spatial intelligence tests. My other three scores are above average, but that fourth one? Yeah, it sucks. 😁

wearyowl29 said:When you're learning to make maps, the key is ensuring that whenever you feel lost, you can find your way back to the starting point—then just start over from there. Over time, the maps get more complex, but your sense of direction gets much sharper. Some maps don't even need anyone else to guide them.
I swear, once you experience being truly lost, you'll do absolutely anything to prevent it from happening again. A lost person loses control, and losing control means losing that sense of security... and we all know exactly what security means to us.😉

So, my advice? Learn how to build MENTAL maps...

Sure, that's one way to do it. Personally, I'd rather get lost and find my way back than deal with the massive brain drain of trying to build mental maps. Plus, I can think of plenty of times where it just didn't work. I'll list two below.

Bottom line: carry ACTUAL MAPS if you aren't built for MENTAL MAPS. 😁

Jeremy Alvarez5 said:I find this whole topic pretty fascinating, mostly because I’ve always had a really solid sense of direction. I guess I just intuitively track how sunlight moves or whatever, so staying oriented comes naturally to me...

The thing that really sticks out to me, though, is seeing people absolutely spiral into a panic when they lose their bearings. It seems like some folks just don't have that internal compass—usually women, though I've seen guys like it too. I remember this one guy who insisted on taking the absolute longest route through downtown; he was honestly harder to navigate than a Greyhound bus 😬. There was zero chance he’d take a shortcut if we tried, even when three or four of us were yelling at him to turn 😁...

It makes me wonder, maybe there's some sort of minor trauma involved for some people? I'm curious if anyone can recall the very first time they felt totally lost. What was happening? What were the circumstances? I mean, did you deal with that overwhelming sense of fear or pure panic, or maybe you were getting chewed out by your parents for losing the way... something like that...

Yeah, it could definitely be some minor traumas (love that phrase 😬).
The worst part is when it's dark. You can't see anything, and there's zero light.
I actually got lost twice in a pretty short span. Once, I took the wrong exit on the interstate, and since there was no turning back, instead of pulling over to check a map, I just stretched it over the steering wheel to glance at it and slammed right into the SUV in front of me. I wasn't even driving my own car, so it was a mess.
The second time, I got lost in the dark on some backroads through the woods. A drive that should've taken 20 minutes ended up taking three hours because I totally panicked. Once I finally chilled out, I found the way out of the loop I'd been stuck in for hours.
Since then, I've been way more chill about it. If I miss a turn, I just take three rights to get back to where I started. If I can't, I just say "screw it" 😬 and wing it, man. 😁

wearyowl29 said:It’s all about the act of creation! Mind mapping! Honestly, I can’t get enough of them. There is just something about seeing all those chaotic thoughts suddenly organized into these beautiful, flowing webs that makes my brain feel so much lighter. It’s like untangling a massive knot of yarn while sitting on a porch in Georgia—super satisfying stuff. I used to be such a mess when trying to brainstorm projects at work. I’d just stare at a blank legal pad, feeling totally overwhelmed by all the moving parts. But once I started using mind maps? Game changer. Total game changer. It’s like giving your ideas room to breathe and dance around instead of forcing them into those rigid, boring little bullet points. Does anyone else find that they think way more creatively when they aren't trapped in a straight line? I really don't think so! It’s pure magic. So, here’s the deal! You’ll see the bakery on the left and the hair salon right on the right. Just head down a bit toward that public parking garage, then look for the intersection just to the right of the high-rise building. There’s a wooden fence on the right side, too. And that should do it! Keep learning! It’s all about that constant growth. Honestly, I was just thinking about this while grabbing my morning coffee—you can never truly stop being a student of the world. Every little bit helps! Out in the field, right where the action happens!
If that hadn't happened, I’d be stuck somewhere totally lost by now! Seriously.

Yeah... you either gotta focus and memorize everything or take notes. Some people just get it naturally.
Not every neighborhood has landmarks like a bakery or a barber shop, either.
Like, in that first post, they mentioned hallways and shelves. Honestly, it's all the same to me.

And whatever, even if you're driving, one wrong turn, or walking into a Target with too many exits, or just plain "forgetting" what you saw—it's instant chaos. It feels like someone just dropped you out of a helicopter in the middle of nowhere and left you to figure it out.

Edward Morgan14 said:As for learning those skills, my own experience suggests that spatial orientation comes quite naturally to me; it is a concept typically introduced during elementary school, and in my case, our teacher was a former Navy officer, which necessitated a high level of proficiency, frequently resulting in field trips where we practiced navigation out in the wilderness.👍

Then you clearly have zero clue what we're talking about here.

Your argument is basically like telling someone with dyslexia that learning to read is the easiest thing in the world because, hey, you've been reading since you were six...

You can't really "learn" it, but if you're obsessed, just look for landmarks. When I'm driving solo to somewhere new, I grab physical maps and printouts from Google Maps. Or just ask someone. I always head out early since I know damn well I'm gonna get lost. Since I travel alone so much, I just bring a GPS and some paper maps.
If I still manage to lose my way despite the directions, I just trust my gut. I just keep driving until I hit something. 😁
The rest of it doesn't bother me at all—people can think whatever they want, everyone's got their issues. As long as it doesn't stop me from hitting the road because I'm scared of getting turned around.
And people always try to "adopt" me, men or women, once they see what they're dealing with. First they don't believe it, then they start treating me like a toddler. 😁
Then when we get back from a business trip where I was behind the wheel, they spend weeks retelling the whole story. 😁

Jose Barrett said:Time thinks he’s some kind of icon because he isn't "mainstream." He fancies himself this enlightened atheist—too smart for superstitions, too cool, too edgy.

He lives for science, stays single, sports a -7 prescription, and avoids the city scene because it's just not his vibe. He's gained a few pounds from sitting still, spending all his time hunkered down in front of his computer "shrine."

If hollowtrucker77 actually managed to launch an Atheism subforum, he’d realize how boring it is within a week and crawl right back to the believers. 🙂

Since he can't find a girl, I guess he'll just have to be the mother of his own kids.☕
He's not fat, he stays active, doesn't need heavy glasses, and isn't stuck at a PC 24/7. Not that you'd know anything about that, anyway.

But yeah, I agree that Eric Collins5 will probably crawl back to his people. Fighting with narrow-minded losers like this is just a massive waste of time and energy.

Later.

hollowdriver18 said:isusPokmater 🤣🤣😂

Alright, let's get serious. 😳
The part that sticks out to me is how Nan equates human beings with trash cans. 😳
What's the consensus here, colleagues? 😳
Specifically Nan, what's your take on that little parable? 😳

I'm smelling borderline obsessive-destructive disorder. ☕

borderline guarantee ☕

Not sure... That Florida canal vibe feels sketchy as hell 🧐

You think it’s some deep metaphor about being born and going back to the womb? Feels like it's trying way too hard to cut ties with the past or something. Maybe there's a link there ☕

hollowdriver18 said:It’s not like I went looking for a psychology thread or anything 😳

get it together 😳

I bet it's attachment issues and struggling to deal with actual people (or even trash cans)... plus, just blowing up emotionally in a way that's totally immature and out of line. What do you think? ☕

Smells like obsessive-destructive disorder to me☕

Eric Collins5 said:There really isn't much left to say... 😳

I started this thread in the psychology section because I wanted to hear people's thoughts on my disorder, how common it is, all that stuff...

Man, this is one of those rare moments where I'm actually being serious, and you just have to come along and poke at me!

😠

😁

And then you gotta try and drag me back down too🤷 😁