Angela Wright said:My dad has this one catchphrase he repeats constantly: "Thinking is knowing how to handle crap!" And if you ask me, I’d add: you’d be shocked at what our hospitals and medical boards are capable of doing just to make sure they protect the budget and Medicare first, and the patient second. It’s just the brutal reality of the system. That’s why you have to get at least three different opinions—honestly, I’d go as far as to guarantee there’s always "something else" out there. There’s always more, it’s just that we usually lack the faith, the enthusiasm, the funding, the expertise, or even the specific studies available to us. You also have to be realistic about biology; sometimes a disease just takes its own course. From the start, you have to fight primarily to extend the quality of life. Some people hit remission only to lose the battle later because of a relapse, and others live with the disease through long periods of dormancy where things move slowly.
In that sense, I'm referring back to what garudaban posted too.
GET A SECOND OPINION!
I’m being a bit brief here, mostly because I feel like I’ve talked and written about this so much already that everyone knows everything, and I’ll end up looking like an idiot for forgetting to mention the basics.
Back in his hometown, they told him the tumor was pressing too hard on a vein (since it clearly grew more), so they suggested he head to New York City. That was last Friday. They did a follow-up ultrasound and a CT before the scheduled surgery, and then they called the whole thing off. Since it was a long weekend, we can't even pick up the new test results until tomorrow. Once we have them, we’ll take everything to his urologist to see what he suggests for the next steps.
The next stop is New York City, but the issue is my grandfather is losing interest in the surgery altogether because—and I quote—“I have no idea why I was even in the hospital in the first place, since nothing hurts.” The tumor is there, the scans show the tumor, there's a damn CT scan proving the tumor exists (both the old one and the new one coming tomorrow), but he just denies his condition and claims he "doesn't feel like going to hospitals." We talked it over at home, including with Grandma, and decided we’re going to let him do whatever he wants. We can't, and frankly don't want to, force him into surgery or chemo if he isn't up for it, even if it means eventually having to just let him go.