Posts by Alex Barnes8

wiredcanyon19 said:He’s been treated that way before by people who aren't even family—you know, broken bones or whatever—but once he heals, he just goes right back to his old ways. I guess that core of evil in him just doesn't seem to fade.

Maybe you're wondering why nothing worked.
It's because feeding off others is basically his drug.
Afterward, he feels empowered, satisfied... kind of like a high from some chemical substance. It's pure brain chemistry at this point.
To him, you guys are just a steady supply of hits. Always available.
He’ll have to start seeing you differently if that fantastic sense of superiority is ever going to vanish.
And you have to stop being that easy fix for him.
As harsh as it sounds, next time he tries it, you might need to make him feel pathetic, powerless, and like absolute trash. Humiliated and broken. He needs to remember how it felt. 😉

Basically, that feeling of dominance, of being untouchable and floating above everyone else—like he's on something heavy—has to be taken away.

wiredcanyon19 said:Look, he’s clearly dealing with PTSD and probably some other deep-seated mental health issues—but honestly, the bigger issue here is that he’s just an irresponsible, irrational person who refuses to get help. It’s easier for him to stay this way, I guess. And since we don't really have any kind of mandatory treatment programs here in the States unless someone is actively threatening suicide—which isn't happening here—he just gets a free pass. It feels like all the "experts" have basically washed their hands of him because he's such a chaotic mess, and now he's just out there wrecking everyone else's lives simply because it suits him.

It’s like he goes out of his way to ruin every single positive moment. He carries this mindset of, "if my life is a dumpster fire, I want yours to be too." He fixates on every negative thing, blows it way out of proportion, and then completely dismisses anything good or bright. It genuinely feels like he's putting all his energy into sucking the joy out of every room, acting like nobody deserves even a second of happiness while he chooses to remain miserable, broken, and totally lost in his own world.

Some of you guys might actually hate him for all this, but I’m just not built that way—I don't really know how to hold onto hate. Honestly, having that kind of bitterness would probably eat me alive more than it would affect him, and I think hating people is just a massive waste of time. I try to be empathetic and understand where people are coming from, but—and you can probably tell by now—that doesn't always work for me. Meanwhile, life keeps moving and the crap just keeps piling up...

I guess I have to disagree—this isn't about PTSD. It looks like pure malice and sadism. Maybe don't buy into the idea that he’s sick; that mindset might be what keeps you stuck in this cycle.
Just remember, he's probably doing fine while everyone else struggles.
In the end, you'll all be the ones left with trauma, while he won't give a damn.
I can't really offer specific advice since I don't know any of you, but at least try calling things what they actually are.
The part in bold is pretty grim. I wonder how much more of what matters to you he'll destroy? When will you finally say, "Enough is enough"? And what happens then?
Eventually, you'll have to draw a line. He certainly isn't going to stop on his own.😉

Here it is, I suppose.

Thanks, I might give that a shot.

Look, I'm just asking for a clearer, more straightforward explanation.
Thanks

Richard Rivera30 said:Hey everyone.

Look, I’m really not sure if this is the right subforum to start a thread, but I couldn't find anything better suited.

I'm curious about how much these small, simple, or even drastic changes actually help versus how much they might hurt.

I’ve decided to treat this year as my big fresh start.
I made a choice to hit the gym and get back in shape after all those holiday feasts and just being lazy for a few months. I also finally got serious about school. I started studying more, and I actually decided to change my major. It turns out what I was studying just didn't fulfill me. It wasn't even hard; I just didn't care about it and couldn't see myself doing it long-term.
Then there's the social side. I decided to cut ties with certain people. It wasn't because of any huge fights or hatred or anything like that. It's just that I'm tired of dragging things out—meeting up once a month, sending the occasional text, playing the part. I let go of those draining relationships that weren't necessarily "bad," but they were just exhausting my energy.
On top of that, I landed a great job through a recruiter. The people are super interesting and nice, the workload isn't too crazy, and the pay is solid. I’ve even started saving money, which used to be nothing more than a dream for me.
I also deleted Facebook. It was eating up all my free time, and some of the people on there were honestly just exhausting. I used to be glued to it 24/7. I feel so much better now that it's gone. The people who actually matter have my number and know where I live, so they can reach me easily. I don't need some silly app to stay in touch with my friends.

Right now, I am happy. New job, new habits, home life is good. I’m genuinely happy, in the truest sense of the word. Not too high, not too low. This is the first time I’ve done so many productive things for myself in such a short window, so it’s all very new to me. I'm in a bit of a positive shock.

How much do these kinds of massive shifts actually benefit your life? So far, everything is hitting me positively, but for how long? Maybe there aren't any downsides to making these changes, but what should I expect moving forward?

Hope you guys get what I'm saying. 🤣 👋

Just remember that feeling. Maybe write it down in a journal.
I'm not just talking about the Facebook situation. It's more general than that, I guess.
When things go south, I guess it helps to look back at how it felt when you actually did the right thing. Maybe.

Richard Rivera30 said:It really is nice to have strangers rooting for you sometimes. Thanks a ton. 🙂
I'll keep your advice in mind, don't you worry. 🤣

Oh, and about the journaling—I've actually been doing that for almost two years now. I love writing. For me, it's basically my pressure valve.🙂

Well, I guess you'll actually make something of yourself eventually.😁
Writing can be helpful for self-reflection. Especially when things get messy. It’s decent for brainstorming during those moments, too. You don't even have to keep it like a journal; you could just toss the paper afterward. I guess that might help clear the tension and find some balance.🙂
I guess there's an American saying for that: "Paper covers everything." Maybe.😉

Richard Rivera30 said:But honestly? I am happy. Truly. I'm really proud of myself because I used to have zero backbone. And don't even get me started on quitting smoking—my record back then was a whopping two and a half days. 😬

I guess I was just wondering how much this kind of sudden lifestyle overhaul can mess with your head.

Thanks so much. 🙂

It won't be negative; better is usually better.😁
But you should probably expect some setbacks.
Maybe you're riding that high from a fresh start right now, which is fine. But that momentum isn't permanent.
Old habits tend to pull you back. People often miss the point at first and try to force things to stay the way they were, or maybe society doesn't always support someone trying to change... those are just some hurdles, among others.
I guess you shouldn't fear temptation, though. Usually, it's just about facing the same thing again, maybe a bit harder this time. 😁 And every time you push through, the change sticks a little more, eventually becoming part of who you are.
It starts to take over your life, regardless of those old patterns.😉
Expect to feel exhausted, or like giving up, or feeling stuck. When that happens, just tell yourself: 'Well, this is what Alex Barnes8 told me to expect.'😍
Take breaks when you need to. Don't overdo it. There's a difference between effort and just forcing it.
Keeping a journal might help, too.👍

Timothy Cruz6 said:My reaction came too late, which left me with nothing but frayed nerves. 😁
After years of operating under extreme stress, I am now 🙂

Then just be that way. Who's stopping you?😁
If you're in a phase where everything makes you angry, there's probably a reason for it.
What's wrong with having some temperament, or being a bit fierce? 🤷
As long as you aren't taking it out on people, physically or mentally, it shouldn't matter.
I don't think anyone should try to help by suppressing who they really are just to fit in.
Just be yourself and let those phases happen naturally. It won't hurt anyone.😍
Though, if you really want to, maybe look into progressive muscle relaxation.
It's a decent, simple enough technique. 😉

Michelle Evans said:The folks at the CDC explained to me that you should actually be more concerned if you *don't* have a reaction after facing an extremely stressful situation. Plus, everything others have mentioned here—it all tends to surface once the stress passes and your body finally starts to relax, letting those guard rails down. It helps to focus on relaxing activities like sports, yoga, or some form of meditation... just surround yourself with people you feel comfortable with and try to keep a steady routine...

Exactly. It’s almost like a purge. I guess you just have to let the body and soul work through it.

crimsonfox5 said:Maybe the issue isn't actually what I think it is:
Whenever there's an emergency—like an accident, a sudden illness, or some kind of natural disaster—where you really need to keep a cool head, I seem to handle it perfectly. But once the "crisis" is over, things start falling apart. I deal with sweating, shaky knees, tremors, and sometimes just unexplained crying... It usually starts anywhere from an hour to maybe 24 hours after the stressful situation ends. How do you all manage this?

Well, you don't really have to do anything. It doesn't last forever. It comes, then it passes.😁
If it’s just a natural reaction, I guess there's no reason to suppress it or try to manipulate it artificially.
I don't see much of a problem here, personally. 🤷

I just noticed this thread.
I was wondering if I'm allowed to post an EEG report here?
Would anyone actually respond? Even just a little something...
See, I get EEGs done occasionally, but nobody ever tells me anything about them. And when I ask, it seems like a waste of breath. 🙄
I suppose I could upload the most recent one...

Right, I forgot to mention my height.😁 5'8".
One more thing.
Everyone is always obsessing over how fast you can realistically drop pounds.
From what I gather, it’s about one to two pounds a week. Can you apply that same logic to inches? Like, how fast can the measurements actually go down? I'm talking about staying in the diet zone with moderate exercise. Nothing extreme.

So, I did some weighing and measuring today. I've read a few times now that the scale doesn't matter as much as the inches, but nobody seems to agree on where you actually measure the waist. The "diet zone" book suggests measuring right at the navel, while everyone else just says to measure the waistline.🤷 I'll just put everything here.

Waist (per diet zone) - 33 in
Waist (standard) - 29.5 in
Hips - 39 in

140 lbs

Paul Baker29 said:Another thing those anti-milk crusaders ignore; milk binds free radicals, especially lead, so... you really should be drinking it.

I don't know, I've heard that milk isn't actually that great for adults. Maybe fermented stuff like yogurt or kefir is a healthier bet.🤷

Richard Cook2 said:Regarding those dark circles under your eyes, they probably showed up because of poor nutrition. High sodium intake—exceeding the recommended 5-6g daily—causes water retention, which leads to puffiness and eye bags. Plus, you mentioned you aren't sleeping well, which is another likely culprit. It’s hard to pinpoint the exact cause given how rough your routine is, but I’d bet on fast food, a bad diet zone, and lack of sleep.

As for hormones, cortisol is what spikes when you're stressed. It basically eats away at muscle tissue and messes with your homeostasis—the body's attempt to stay balanced. You can find plenty of info on Google if you just search for cortisol.

Also, since you said you haven't been eating fruits or vegetables, you're missing out on the micronutrients—vitamins and minerals—needed for everything from skin and hair repair to flushing out toxins and managing metabolism for fats, carbs, and proteins.

You probably aren't drinking enough water either. The human body is about 70% water, and hydration is the primary medium for almost every bodily function and cell communication. You've likely heard of electrolytes.

Between the diet, the inactivity, and the stress, your whole system is out of whack. You really need to change things now; if you don't, this is just the beginning. This lifestyle is basically an open invitation for serious health issues down the road.

So:
1. Start eating better (fruit, veggies, water, tea, chicken, turkey, beef, fish, eggs, dairy, whole grains, rice, nuts).

2. Get moving. At least start by spending 2-3 hours outdoors. Go for a walk with a friend, go rollerblading, ride a bike, or hit a local park like Central Park or somewhere similar. Being in nature helps lower stress significantly.

3. Be patient. It’ll probably take six months to a year before you see real improvements and actually feel better.

4. If you smoke or drink—stop. Your body is already struggling, and that just makes it worse.

5. Cut back on processed foods as much as possible (bakery items, McDonald's, Burger King, kebabs, chips, etc.).

6. Try eating dark chocolate with high cocoa content (70% or higher).

7. Look up "antioxidants" and find foods rich in them. They help clear out free radicals and toxins.

That part about cortisol is interesting. It’s actual proof that emotions impact physical health. And what you said about cortisol "eating muscle"... I struggle with having very weak muscle tone, and honestly, building muscle is harder for me than losing weight. I have a few extra pounds, but that's not the main issue. My lack of muscle tone is the bigger problem.
I don't drink or smoke, though. I guess that's something.😁

Sophia Taylor47 said:It’s not exactly rocket science or deep philosophy. You eat junk and you become... well, junk (if you catch my drift 🙂).

I think I nearly burnt myself out once too, between work and everything else—bad diet zone, too much soda, constant caffeine, being stuck in air-conditioned offices all day...

Maybe just start exercising, slowly. Don't jump straight into some intense gym where you'll quit after five minutes. Maybe try something easier, like walking outside, light stretching, or beginner Pilates, and just view it as a way to vent stress.

As for food... I don't know how much you cook, but at least try eating three main meals and some healthy snacks—not Snickers or chips.

And I guess you should just try to enjoy the small things every day.

👍

Thanks for this. That first part is decent motivation, I suppose, and it's a good reminder about the mind-body connection. I tend to believe in that.👍

slydriver52 said:Maybe just ask a primary care physician.
Cortisol is usually the main culprit here. It spikes whenever the body deals with stress.

Could you elaborate on that a bit?🙂 Please. 😁
I'm mostly worried my doctor would just stare at me blankly if I asked for a lecture on cortisol. They seem so guarded; sometimes even a simple "yes" or "no" feels like too much to ask.🙄

Thanks for the input.
As for how I look, the dark circles under my eyes are the biggest issue. I don’t even touch alcohol, yet I have bags under my eyes like a heavy drinker. I recall reading somewhere that high sugar intake might affect the body similarly to alcohol—not in terms of getting drunk, but maybe something regarding the liver or whatever. That’s why I was looking for a real explanation behind it.
What else could be causing this?
It isn't insomnia; I've been taking sleep aids for a while now and I finally sleep better, but the circles haven't budged. 🤷

Paul Baker29 said:Just work out and eat clean. Humans were built to move, not sit around all day. Back then, people did manual labor and ate what they grew, so it wasn't even a choice. Now, everyone's stuck in cubicles eating processed junk, so you actually have to try and exercise just to stay level.
Consistent training boosts your energy and teaches your body how to run more efficiently. Eating nutrient-dense food gives you what you need to function properly, which eventually shows in how you look. It isn't rocket science—like Jerry Howard said, just move and eat right.

I figured we should have a thread about that "depleted" look. We have endless discussions about cellulite or weight, but nothing on this. It’s everywhere. You just look at people out on the street in any major US city. Almost everyone looks 🙂

Jerry Howard said:for heaven's sake, why make it so complicated? just pick something up, burn some calories, sweat, build some muscle, boost your metabolism or whatever.

I guess people just don't get that moving—running, jumping, swimming—is what we're built for. Nowadays, if you see someone out for a jog, they look at you like you've lost your mind. Women can barely imagine themselves running. There’s just no culture of being active anymore. It’s like in gym class, kids would probably get kicked out because their peers wouldn't believe they were actually supposed to be running laps or climbing ropes.😲

I suppose I agree. I've never understood the type who waits for a city bus just to go one block when they could just walk. It's wild how unthinkable that seems to them.😲