Jerry Evans2 said:I honestly thought that enough time passing would just clear out all the mental clutter in my head. But man, it’s taking forever; I’ve been dragging everyone else down for five months now, and at this point, being stuck in my own little bubble doesn't even seem to matter anymore. Today, I took my kid out to the local park and sat down with a couple of other dads, but I just stayed quiet and zoned out... I kept telling myself, "Come on, just talk to these guys; they’re being decent enough to come over and sit by you, so stop acting so sullen..." I felt like I was just totally stuck in a single moment... I’ve actually thought about seeing a therapist, but I guess I’m just too embarrassed to go through with it. At thirty-one years old, I really should be out there conquering the world, not digging my own hole and sinking deeper into it. In a weird way, I kind of admire how clearly I can describe my own self-sabotage. But it’s just so hard to make a move; I feel like such a coward sometimes, like I just don't have the guts to face anything...
Don't mistake cowardice for what is, let's say, just a narrow perspective on life. 🙂 There is absolutely nothing shameful about telling someone you're seeing a psychologist. In fact, I plan to go too. 🙂 And I'm not embarrassed to admit it. Over the last six months, I've faced stressful situations I never could have anticipated. I want to help myself, which is why I’ll talk to a professional to find a way to cope. There’s no point in dragging out these heavy emotions without actually dealing with them.
If you're still feeling ashamed, just think about how many miles away your family is... and besides, why would anyone need to know you're seeing someone other than your wife? 🙂 But if you're too embarrassed to even tell her how you really feel, then well... 😁
Or maybe you're just ashamed of the fact that you're a man, and you feel destined to always be "strong," never complain, and never admit when things are hard... 😛 >hope you catch the sarcasm<
Look, you aren't some kind of superhero, nor do you have to be. You're simply a person who is falling apart because you haven't learned how to handle what's happening to you. That gets resolved through talking and being heard. That's all there is to it.
Don't let your ego become something you're constantly fighting against. When your wife is visibly unhappy—and I suspect she's already noticing you struggling—that's when the regret will really hit you.
Try looking toward the brighter side of what could be. Step outside those mental boxes and do whatever you truly believe will help. And that means a therapist 😍 and talking to your wife. Don't just mess around...😬
Why not consider sitting down with a therapist? 🙂 Does your wife actually know what you’re going through or why you feel this way? Don't you think expressing that frustration through calm conversation and genuine honesty might be better? Honestly, those are the only two things that will truly set you free. Really... 😍 You don't want to turn into a bitter old man and waste your best years, all while bringing unnecessary tension into the lives of those closest to you, do you? 😛
Just give it some thought 🙂 A month or two... maybe five sessions of actual self-work with a professional, combined with some support from your family, could make all the difference before you suddenly hit a breaking point.
Nicholas Gonzalez8 said:I’ve struggled with focus and memory issues my entire life—it’s just how I’m wired. Back in school, I was that kid who had to write down every single tiny detail the teachers mentioned just to stay afloat. Honestly, I still do that today. It’s constant. My parents will tell me something simple I need to do, and it just... evaporates from my brain. Or I'll be mid-sentence and the word I want just vanishes, replaced by some completely different word. Faces, names, numbers, little details about people I meet? Gone. Sometimes I genuinely forget what I said or did just a few minutes ago. And getting my bearings in a new environment is a total nightmare—my reaction time is either non-existent, frantic and messy, or just painfully slow. That said, if you give me enough time to process things, I can usually come up with better solutions than most people.
Now, I’m fully aware that staring at a computer screen all day isn't doing my concentration any favors, and since I spend most of my time at home, that's a huge factor. Unless I'm out working, I'm glued to a monitor. I used to be big into PC gaming and binge-watching movies, but lately, none of that really pulls me in anymore. These days, I use the computer for reading, writing, and listening to music in the background. I actually enjoy it, though, and I’m not looking to quit that part of my life. I mean, look at people who work 7 or 8 hours a day at an office or on a laptop—they seem to function just fine.
I also try pretty hard to practice mindfulness—you know, being present in the moment and staying aware of my thoughts, emotions, and actions. Some days, I actually nail it. But then there are those other days where nothing works, no matter how much I fight to get my head straight. Everything else in my life is going pretty well, though.
So, what else do you guys think affects concentration and memory? Any tips on how to fix it? Does anyone else deal with this kind of stuff, and if so, how do you manage? I’ve already spent way too much time Googling this, but I wanted to hear actual human opinions.
I just stumbled upon this thread, and I can tell you that I relate to this so much. It's incredibly relatable. But, for example, things from years ago—who knows, maybe two years back—I remember those perfectly, even if they were totally trivial. Yet, if you asked me what I had for lunch yesterday, I’d really have to sit and think about it. Faces too. Names? Good grief, it's embarrassing, haha 😁 I've also always been someone who writes everything down. Ever since I was a kid. But since I have ADHD, everything I'm going through makes total sense. Like, I'll be right in the middle of painting my nails, then I see the dog needs brushing, and suddenly the nail polish is completely forgotten 🤣
For me, it creates this feeling of being completely derailed. Like time just stands still while I try to force the memory to surface. That's how it is... 😛
So, I'm hearing 😍 again, but it doesn't seem to be working here. And I honestly thought it would. I mean, if you're as hard of hearing as I am... For me, this falls under the category of an emergency 😁 I'm just so happy, thank you all!! 🙂 This whole crowd really gave me a laugh 😂 and the doctor was actually quite charming and kind. Uhhh. I just figured I could wash it away with some warm water and call it a day. That's what I used to do with my doctor back in the day 😁 mostly, though it doesn't technically qualify as an emergency 🕺
Man, my doctor here is being so vague. He's basically telling me there's nothing to worry about, that I'll be fine even if things take a turn... but then he tells me to just wait and see if the symptoms subside 🙂. They really make things unnecessarily complicated 🙂—like, they won't even bother rinsing the earwax out of my ear at the ER. What if I actually pass out or something?! Now I’m terrified I'll wake up tomorrow still feeling like this. Honestly, I'm just sitting here tearing up from the anxiety 😂 😂
I’m not entirely sure if this is the right place for this, BUT I have a question 🙂
My left ear is TERRIBLY clogged, and the pressure is killing me. My doctor is based over in suburban Connecticut and she only sees patients in the mornings!!1 😁 I just can't make it; I have some urgent business to attend to today, so I won't be able to see her, but I honestly can't deal with this ear any longer 🙂 Due to some unexpected circumstances, I have to head to the hospital near downtown this afternoon, and I was wondering if I could ask someone there to flush my ear out. I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! 😢((😢
Is that actually possible?? 😍🙂
It feels like I'm living inside a tunnel! And my left ear is usually 🙂 my dominant one—I hear much better through it. Now, I'm effectively hard of hearing... 😂
Michael Harris7 said:I honestly have no clue how those pills even work for you guys—seriously, I’ve been dealing with these brutal periods for like 15 years now. I feel like I’ve tried everything under the sun... most of the time it was Neofen, but lately, I’ve been switching over to Nalgesin. But honestly? It hasn't done squat. At best, maybe it takes the edge off by like 10%, which is basically nothing at this point. Man, I would give anything if they actually worked for once!
Have you tried Ketoral? I deal with incredibly painful cycles too. It’s not just the stomach cramps; the pelvic pain gets so intense during those first three or four days. Sometimes I even feel sharp pains a few days before it starts. Otherwise, I'm fine, but when my period hits, it's brutal. Ketoral does help dull the pain for me, even if I still feel it...
They require a prescription 😍 Give your doctor a call and ask them to send a script over so you can pick them up 🙂
Aha. Well, I can't say for sure if I was the one who actually started this thread 🥱 or if I just thought I did... I don't know :z ubo: Usually, I just skim the opening post and then jump in with my own thoughts 🙂
Well, if 🍿 Look, I'm heading out right now 😁 And, naturally, I'm using Chrome 😍😁 And, yeah, thanks 🙂
But seriously, where are all these moderators 🙂 They’re lightning fast when it comes to deleting posts...
IF THAT'S REALLY ALL SHE SAID—THAT IT WASN'T THE END OF THE WORLD JUST BECAUSE HE FELL FOR SOMEONE ELSE WHILE HE'S ALREADY MARRIED—then just shut down the forum entirely 🥱😛
So, I can't say I've ever complained about a deleted post in my six years here, BUT I am genuinely curious as to why a long one of mine was pulled from the "I'm single, he's married, how much of this is on me?" thread.
What exactly was the reasoning behind that? 🙂 I'm honestly a bit lost 🙂 >basically<
I wanted to just copy over a section of it since I really don't feel like retyping everything—especially since my dog chewed up my keyboard😬 and now I see it's gone... 🥱 Normally, if I weren't feeling lazy or if it wasn't such a big deal, I wouldn't bother starting a whole new thread, BUT right now, I really do...🤣
It’s honestly not an issue for me to head away for a while. I’m not the type to get all sentimental just because I haven't been home for a few days 😬 I’ve lived at plenty of different places over the years, but once you find that one spot where everything feels right... where you just know it's "the one"... 😍 then it becomes a bit harder to leave. I realize not everyone sees it that way, but we're all wired differently 😛
For me, it wasn't about the apartment itself, but more about the neighborhood. Everything around 🙂 Having all that stuff available 24/7 right on my doorstep
I can't quite remember if I answered everything 🙂 I'm pretty exhausted 🥱 Oh, right. Anyway, my mom is planning on buying a place (assuming everything goes according to plan 🤣), and she's looking at the historic district downtown.
I'm really curious to see when that actually happens 🍿
I hope it doesn't come to that, but if it takes ten years and this forum is still around, I'll bring the topic back up
I've been incredibly busy over the last few days. Just absolutely swamped 🤣😁 Anyway. I'm currently living in a neighborhood in San Jose. Specifically, the area where I lived until about six months ago was Jane Doe 😍 I'm not sure how much that matters, but someone asked 😁 We moved because of my favorite Boy The Taboo Man 😍
Look, guys. I'm not usually the type to judge people, but I know what I don't like and what doesn't work for me. I didn't say everyone here is left-wing, but this generation I'm in—maybe three or four years older than most—is just... we have very different personalities. We can be friendly enough, having those "we're cool, but only on a surface level" kind of chats 🙂 But honestly, we just don't have anything to talk about. That said, I've known one friend for ages, and I met another while walking my dog when I stopped to chat with some of the guys I usually just give a polite nod to. I ended up staying for about an hour because that guy actually caught my interest. I realized pretty quickly that he wasn't part of that typical neighborhood crowd, even though he's lived here forever. And I was right 😍 He's wonderful. I just know how to recognize what fits my life and what doesn't 😛
It all started back in June when I moved to this new neighborhood. It’s only about a six-minute walk from my old 😍 area. Since that day, I’ve just felt... empty. Like, a lot. Sometimes. I get hit by these waves of nostalgia. It isn't every single day, but there are those moments where I find myself walking to my old bus stop, or heading to my old grocery store, or walking the dog through the old streets... that's where my friends are. That's where everything was. It's a mix of wonderful memories and some pretty rough ones too. But it all matters to me. And right after I moved here, my grandfather passed away, along with a few other things I had to deal with while being "far" from home. Because that place feels like home, and this doesn't. I’m not being pessimistic, but saying it helped wouldn't be true. I guess... I just attach myself deeply to the places I love. Obviously. That's where I grew up.
As for it here, I feel isolated. Truly. It's not busy at all. There isn't any of that chaos I used to live in. There aren't those amazing neighbors... you know how it goes. I'm two minutes from the main highway, sure. But there aren't any shops besides the little corner stores. There isn't... honestly, there's nothing 😁 Don't get me wrong, it's not a wasteland. The neighborhood is actually lovely, it's just... about ten months ago, I walked through here and thought there was no way I'd ever want to live here. I couldn't imagine myself in such a quiet and, for my personality, isolated area. We just don't vibe together 😛
During the summer, I was out in my old neighborhood almost every day walking the dog. Or playing frisbee in the park with friends, or sitting at one of those random apple stands you see in the town square. Just to soak up that old neighborhood energy .
I feel like a little kid. I know that sounds silly, but I get those exact same feelings I had in preschool when my dad would drop me off with the group and head to work. Alone. I don't mean I feel lonely, per se. Not really. I have two friends here I can talk to for hours and joke around with, and that makes me happy. But everyone else... they just don't click with me. It's just not my scene. This neighborhood has this kind of "ghetto vibe" 😬
Then... yeah. The only time I feel truly good is when I'm inside my apartment. Because that's where all the photos from that chapter of my life are kept. 🤣 Yeah, I divide my life into two parts. I don't know why. Inside my apartment, I feel somewhat insulated from the rest of this neighborhood. Positively insulated. My response to comments like "Oh well, it's just a few minutes away" is basically "Yeah, right." Because it isn't. This is a completely different world. Honestly. A vibe that just doesn't fit me.
I have this feeling that if I don't go back to my old neighborhood every once in a while, I'll lose the sense that it's still "mine."
Dammit
(Though, it does make me happy to think we'll probably move back to the old neighborhood permanently eventually, just not yet.) In reality, maybe this is just a subconscious reason why I can't quite accept all of this as home. Sure thing!
ANYWAY:
Has anyone else ever found themselves in a similar "oldhood blues" phase? (And no, I'm not looking for psychoanalysis, but if you want to, be my guest! I would love to hear about other times you lived far away from a place you loved dearly and how you handled it. Thanks.)
No 🥱 I think we all have certain traits buried inside us that could potentially make us act out in unkind ways. It's just part of being human. 😁 But I truly believe those darker impulses can be overcome if you lean into your better qualities 😍 And it all starts with self-awareness and having the actual willpower to change. For me, I tend to be an incredibly reactive person, and in the heat of the moment, that can go south fast. It really has... There have been times when I felt this intense urge to hurt someone. Not through swearing or anything crude, 😁 but by using a sharp mix of sarcasm and cynicism. I know exactly where to aim my words to hit where it hurts most. And afterward? The regret is overwhelming... absolutely crushing. 😢 To be clear, I’m not a malicious or confrontational person by nature—quite the opposite, actually—but sometimes my fuse is just too short. In those flashes of temper, I react in ways that would be completely unrecognizable to anyone who knows my calm side. 🙂 I recognize this flaw in myself, and I’ve worked hard on it. Since I started facing it head-on, there are very few moments left where I let that darker version of myself take control. 😬
I hope I don't get banned for bringing up such an old topic 🤌 nine years ago🤣 😍 😂
But seriously, this movie is absolutely flawless! 😲 😍 The ending is definitely a bit creepy, but it’s fascinating how meticulously everything was planned out... it all feels like one giant puzzle! 🙂 Kevin Spacey and Kate Winslet were incredible. A few times I actually found myself laughing out loud😁 New York City is a total would if I could 🙂 I loved how even an hour after the credits rolled, the story was still playing in my head. That really doesn't happen often...
Definitely recommend this film🙏 It reminded me quite a bit of Incendies, which I watched recently🍿
rustydrifter10 really ruined everything for us 😂 But honestly, they have a point when it comes to aesthetics... 😍 😁
And I know it isn't quite 🙂 😬 But what can I do when I'm already stuck? 😵 Man, I am at such a crossroads right now Hmmm... driftingbear29 OR driftingbear29 🤔
Okay, fine, I am! 😍 I am begging you please change this nickname to have a capital letter. Thank you all so much! 🙂
The name "Extreme" always felt a bit... meh I honestly didn't have a clue what nickname to pick, so I just went with "Depeche" because I was listening to Strange Love 🙂 and they're a favorite of mine 😍. Plus, there happened to be an Extreme magazine sitting right on my desk 😁
I guess I was just being creative 🙂 😂 Ali sada ja, that isn't the main reason anymore, though it still counts for something 🙂
rustydrifter10 said:Nope, that won't work. As far as this forum is concerned, accented letters are treated exactly the same as their standard counterparts. They might let you change it to include an accent later on if the registration system rejects it initially, but since the system views them as identical, you can't use an accent as the sole way to differentiate between two nicknames.
Ahhh 🙂 🙂 😁
I'm not sure about 🙂, but driftingbear29 🤔 actually, I like that...
😂
Hmmm... 