Posts by Peter Phillips32

placidharbor7 said:Here’s the thing: consciousness can’t actually be NEUTRAL, because if it isn't, it isn't really consciousness at all!
I mean, what kind of CONSCIOUSNESS exists without an "I"?
The "I" is inherently BIASED, because that very bias is exactly what constitutes the "I."
Even if you try to go out of your way to pick a side, it doesn't change the underlying BIAS—it's been there all along, running in the background.

You guys keep crying out for more "consciousness," but don't you realize you're actually just asking for more sweat and blood? You're asking for more judgment, more condemnation, and more heartache and struggle in your own lives!

Anyway, has anyone seen shamantrixx lately? Where did they disappear to?

I don't get why having more awareness is supposed to be a bad thing? Isn't being aware just having better knowledge about stuff you used to be clueless about?

Look, ladies, of course it's possible, because those were just declarative statements in the first post.

What we’re really looking at here is Jiddu Krishnamurti’s whole observation about how trying to micromanage yourself—your thoughts, your moods, all that stuff—isn't actually the way to go; instead, you're supposed to just be this impartial observer. See, when you start trying to police your own brain, you run straight into that old dilemma: "Who watches the watchmen". When he was reading sections of his books, he’d toss that question out at his audience, and since they couldn't wrap their heads around an answer, they just swallowed his ideas whole as if they were absolute gospel. Instead of nudging people toward their own deep dives and independent thinking, he basically pushes his own perspectives as these untouchable truths.

Since everyone knows there isn't just one single road to reaching a destination, I’m going to take a crack at answering his question myself, and I'm honestly curious if anyone else has some different takes on it so maybe we can collectively stumble upon some alternative answers.

Look, if you’ve actually managed to climb the ladder enough to become a supervisor, then you’ve basically set yourself up for the moment where you end up babysitting the very people who used to be your peers.

feralhound55 said:Well, that is exactly what changing your perception looks like.

What goes in has to come out eventually—this is a perfectly fine way to do it.

Look, just shift your perception enough so you aren't constantly mourning or feeling like you've lost control whenever things actually go well, and then you won't even need some kind of emotional pressure valve to vent.

What goes in has to come out eventually. This is just my way of handling it.

Nothing is actually "entering" or "leaving" because all of this stuff is already inside you—all those feelings are just internal. They don't enter or exit; they just morph. Happiness turns into sadness, sadness drags you down into depression, then depression flips back into happiness, and so on.

Look, sometimes the mind can be a real beast when it decides to lock in on something, and honestly, that sounds like what you’re dealing with right now. If you're already staying on top of things with prevention, you shouldn't be seeing any major fallout, but if these symptoms are actually starting to show up, you really need to step it up—like, go see a doctor or a specialist at the Mayo Clinic or something.

If you just need to take the edge off and chill out—try this: take a deep, slow breath, really feel your body settling, then let out a long, slow exhale and just let everything go.

feralhound55 said:Men usually claim they’re simple—no hidden agendas, no expectations for us to be mind readers...

Meanwhile, women spend hours over coffee with their girlfriends trying to decode what they think are cryptic signals. Like, say, him not calling the day after a date. God forbid. Or right after sex.

Or maybe he’s avoiding certain topics. Is he spiraling about his job security during this recession? Or does he just find me boring?

Or he heads straight home after hooking up instead of staying the night. Maybe he has an early meeting and doesn't want to wake me. Or maybe he just doesn't care.

"I can't get into relationships." Is that actually code for "I can't fall for you, but you're great for casual hookups"?

Or the classic: "My life is just really complicated right now, I'll reach out once things settle down." Okay, that's pretty transparent. Or is it? Because sometimes those guys in "complicated situations" work overtime to maintain contact and convince you they haven't lost interest...

So, are men actually sending mixed signals, or are we just refusing to see the obvious? Or is it truly all just a blur? Here's my latest attempt at untangling the eternal mystery of male-female misunderstandings—take it or leave it.

Misunderstandings and complications only happen to people who don't know any better.

Ditch those stereotypes by actually getting some knowledge under your belt. You aren't psychic—you can't read minds—but you can damn well read body language, and if you actually listen to what's being said, things get clearer. Honestly, once you start understanding yourself a little better, you'll start figuring everyone else out too.

feralhound55 said:First off, thanks for sharing—my experiences are pretty much identical, even if the paths taken were different.

Regarding the above... your assumption is solid; it really is just something buried inside you surfacing. But it isn't a bad thing—it's a cleansing, an "exhalation" of emotions. You can ignore them, but try letting them happen just once... I experience all sorts of emotions during certain processes, and it's been explained to me that I should just let them flow and keep going, and the feelings will come out. Whether it's crying like a baby, laughing, or just weeping from happiness. I don't fight it; I know it won't last forever and I'll feel better once it's all out of me. It's always like that. A few minutes of crying and I'm a new person. Literally washed clean on the inside. Try it if you want, it's great. And there's no shame in crying. 😉 It's not something that's going to drag you down or keep you depressed for days—don't worry—and neither will the positive, euphoric states. In the end, all that's left is peace.

That isn't some kind of "cleansing" or "exhaling" emotions; it's just you overemphasizing things and viewing everything through one narrow lens. Just shift your perception and you won't feel this desperate need for these emotional outlets—all that "crying like a maniac, or laughing, or just crying from happiness" nonsense.

Dana Morales64 said:The weather definitely plays a role in how I think and feel—it’s no wonder this miserable rain, wind, and freezing cold drive me up the wall. Honestly, I find myself losing my cool every single day just walking down the street.
Don't let it get to you too much; just hang in there, because things will start looking up once spring finally hits.🙂

The weather doesn't actually influence how you think unless you start believing that it does.
What you're doing is basically an association method—you're taking attributes from stuff outside your own body, slapping them onto objects, and then grouping them all together under one big label. You end up with terms like "damn freezing rain and wind and winter" which are really just a collection of different traits you've assigned to them, and those traits are what trigger your bad reactions. If you actually want to enjoy the rain, the wind, or the snow, you have to swap out the attributes behind those concepts, but you can't even begin to do that until you realize which specific attributes you've attached to them in the first place.

hiddenhawk3 said:So, what does "living" actually look like, anyway?🙄
Maybe we should all just agree on some basic rules. 😢

You live however you want to live.
You find your way through education and critical thinking, by stepping away from the standard herd mentality. By pulling yourself out of a life where you're conditioned to just submit to others (once you realize there isn't actually anyone you owe obedience to).
I guess I could lay out the foundations of life like this:
- kindness - be good to your own body through exercise, healthy eating, and a positive mindset;
- love - love and accept who you are;
- understanding - once you understand something, you know it; if you don't understand it, go learn it;
- tolerance - give yourself all the time you need to reach that understanding;
and once you wrap your head around how we're all essentially the same, those emotions naturally bleed out toward the rest of humanity.

I realize I'm being pretty broad here, saying stuff that gets repeated all over this forum and in life in general, so for anyone reading this, I'd suggest diving into literature on psychology, spirituality, nutrition, and fitness.

Physical exercise is necessary to strengthen your willpower, though I wouldn't say it's the only way—it's just one tool in the kit. I haven't listed everything I consider a foundation for a "good" life because it's honestly pointless to try; it's enough for me to provide some general direction and let the individual fill in their own details.

Look for things that are practical and sensible. Practical in the sense that they are simple and usable, and sensible in the sense that they make logical sense and you can actually wrap your brain around them.

I don't even know where to start with this one, honestly. It’s like, you think you’ve got a handle on things, right? You think you're navigating life just fine, maybe grabbing a coffee in downtown Chicago or just cruising along, and then—boom—you hit a snag that feels way too personal. It’s like being caught in some kind of tiny, unexpected grip that you didn't see coming, just pulling at you when you're trying to move forward. I was sitting there thinking about how much of life is just these little, annoying little catches, these tiny little hooks that get under your skin and won't let go, and it really makes you wonder if we're ever actually in control or if we're all just getting snagged by fate every few steps. It's frustrating, man, it really is. kaže:
So, look... I’ve been feeling pretty damn low lately. Just stuck in this massive funk, honestly.

Honestly, you just gotta sit yourself down and really ask what the hell happened to land you in this mess. Like, seriously, take a second to dig into what actually triggered this whole downward spiral. Most of the time, if you’re willing to keep peeling back the layers and asking "why" over and over again—just going deeper and deeper into that rabbit hole—you’ll eventually stumble onto the real reason everything went sideways.

I’m just sitting here feeling absolutely miserable, honestly. I can't stop crying, and I feel like I'm just wasting my life away, one day after another. I've even been popping a few too many whiskey pills lately just to try and numb the edge. I am just so incredibly sad...

Look, you’re out here doing all this stuff thinking it’s actually going to help you shake off that sadness, but let’s be real—it’s just a bunch of quick fixes that aren't going to stick. It’s not even about whether your intentions are good or bad at this point, because honestly, none of these methods are actually effective. You aren't curing the grief by doing this; if anything, you're just piling more layers of misery on top of what's already there.

I honestly want to quit doing this whole thing, I really do, but I’m starting to think it might be impossible because it’s just become such a deep-seated habit at this point... like, it's baked into my daily routine and I can't seem to shake it. 😢...

Look, if you’re actually serious about quitting this whole thing, then just stop right now. Seriously, walk away today. Because honestly? What you’re doing isn't solving anything, and it sure as hell isn't giving you an exit strategy from the mess you're currently in. That's the thing about being stuck—your current situation is exactly what it looks like on the surface. You build these habits by just mindlessly repeating the same old patterns over and over, and if you actually want to break free, you can't just wish it away. You have to actually get inside your own head, figure out the core logic behind why you do what you do, and then consciously swap that behavior out for something else entirely. It's not magic, it's just how it works.

It’s actually kind of messed up, honestly... the fact that I actually find myself liking the pain.

Look, you gotta realize that you don't actually enjoy the pain itself—nobody does, that would be insane. It’s more like you’re addicted to the little "escape" it gives you, you know? It’s this weird, temporary distraction that lets you stop spiraling into all that sadness for a second. It’s basically just a way to run away from your own head.

Look, let’s be real here—this whole situation is just straight-up wrong. It’s twisted. And honestly? I know exactly what kind of people pull stunts like this. It’s nothing but cowards and weaklings looking for an easy way out. But then again...

Look, if you’re really dying to debate what counts as "normal" versus what doesn't, go vent about it over in the Philosophy subforum. Seriously. People who obsess over that kind of stuff are usually just stuck in a rut, acting like they’ve hit a dead end when, in reality, they’ve just completely forgotten that there’s always another way to look at things or handle life's messiness. You know, instead of just spinning your wheels in the same old mindset, you could actually try a different approach to how you deal with everything.

I honestly don't even know what to do with myself anymore... I'm just spinning my wheels here. Please, if anyone has any advice, throw it my way... seriously, I'll take anything at this point.

Look, just remember that tomorrow isn't going anywhere, so there's absolutely no rush. Honestly, you should probably just spend some time playing around with different perspectives and seeing if you can actually find a way to change your own mind once in a while. It’s worth a shot.

Look, you really need to sit down and actually think about how you even ended up in this mess, because there’s no way you just stumbled into this much misery by accident—it had to happen for a reason. You’ve got to dig deep and figure out what actually triggered this whole downward spiral, because once you finally pin down the real, underlying cause, that's when you can actually start doing something about it and turn this whole disaster around into something else entirely.

Look, you can't just throw in the towel because life—and everything else orbiting around it—never actually stops moving. It’s constant. Whether you’re actively making moves or just sitting there letting things happen to you, everything is in flux. Your thoughts are shifting, you're physically moving through the world, everyone around you is caught up in the same chaotic swirl, and honestly, that momentum is exactly what you need. Because if everything is always shifting, then naturally, your headspace can move toward something a little brighter too. You just gotta ride the wave.

-besides just thinking for yourself, I’d really suggest diving into some psychology and spiritual books too, because there's a massive amount of stuff you won't find in any formal classroom that's actually vital for navigating life
(not to mention picking up some logic and philosophy along the way, etc.) - and honestly, you've gotta keep your brain engaged; don't just go through the motions on autopilot like some kind of robot

Edward Flores4, you’ve dumped a massive amount of text on me here, so I’m just gonna zero in on one specific point since I haven't been keeping up with the thread.
I honestly think you're taking the whole concept of meditation and, because you can't find a better way to put it, you're basically just stretching the definition until it breaks. Look, sure, meditation is about self-discovery through observation—that part holds water—but it isn't a "lifestyle." Once you actually start living your life and interacting with the world, you're acting, and the moment you act, that pure state of observation pretty much vanishes.
And this whole thing about sitting in some "cool" pose? You're turning it into something it totally isn't. If someone gets caught up in that superficial stuff and ends up questioning the validity of meditation just because they don't get it, all that really proves is that they've jumped into something they clearly don't understand. As for why people bother with certain postures in the first place—well, when your spine is aligned and your legs are crossed (though they don't strictly have to be), it allows information, energy, and those chemical messengers inside your body to flow more efficiently. It's basically just a way to speed up the process of observing your inner self to get the clarity you're looking for.

Joshua Price3 said:Hey everyone, I’m looking for a little bit of advice... or maybe just some perspective from you all.
So, before the summer started, my partner went to see a psychiatrist—it wasn't for anything major, really—but he's been convinced ever since that he’s dealing with depression. A doctor actually confirmed there's some kind of disorder going on, though I'm not entirely sure what the specific diagnosis was.

I’ve been trying to wrap my head around what might be causing this. His father has been dealing with a very serious illness, and he’s also spent a long time in school without graduating. But if I’m being honest, I think a big part of it is that he never really got to have a normal childhood. His mother isn't particularly capable when it comes to handling things, so he ended up having to step up way too early. Even at fifteen, he was the one everyone turned to for advice and solutions to their problems. He's incredibly brilliant, but instead of just hanging out with kids his age or playing outside, he was always stuck at home "contemplating life" with the adults.

From what I can see, some of the symptoms include him being unable to sleep at night—he’s constantly waking up—which then leads to him sleeping and eating excessively all through the day.
He won't even get out of bed until 11:00 or noon, and then he'll message me around 2:00 PM saying he's heading back to sleep. It honestly makes no sense to me; I work a full-time job, and I certainly don't feel the need to go straight to bed the second I get home.
On top of that, he has absolutely zero interest in being social or going out with his friends.
His ideal scenario seems to be that we stay cooped up at his place all the time, just watching movies and staying in.
I just don't know... he seems totally checked out from everything, including our sex life—and we've only been together for about a year or two.
Do you think there's something deeper going on here? I would really appreciate any thoughts or advice on how I should handle this.
🤷

Just go out and find a guy who isn't such a lazy, narrow-minded loser👍

Ryan Wood98 said:Does that mean the famous David Icke is actually a urologist?

Honestly, I have zero clue who that is. So yeah, 🤷

Ryan Wood98 said:I have stepped away from my professional field for a little while, so I am reaching out to my colleagues for some guidance.

I have been noticing a specific symptom appearing quite frequently in people lately, and I am somewhat unsure whether I should classify it under paranoid schizophrenia or if it perhaps falls into a different category altogether.

Specifically, I am referring to a tendency toward believing in various conspiracies.

It seems to involve individuals who are prone to accepting almost any vague claim they encounter in a book or online, provided that the information suggests we are victims of some sort of global conspiracy.

The pathology often becomes apparent because the individual doesn't just subscribe to a single theory, but rather accepts them all en masse.

Examples within this category might include: secret societies controlling the world, extraterrestrials managing certain governments, human-reptilian hybrids living deep underground, the so-called chemtrails supposedly poisoning us, clandestine military experiments like DARPA, conspiracies by dishonest historians seeking to hide alternative truths about human evolution, or various apocalyptic scenarios foretold by ancient civilizations, and so on.

How would we go about diagnosing this, colleagues?

Sacreus? Cocaine?

Look, if you believe in Christianity, you're a Christian; if it's Buddhism, you're a Buddhist; if it's Hinduism, you're a Hindu. It's pretty straightforward logic.

But when someone starts believing in conspiracy theories... well, they become a conspiracy theorist.
And honestly, you really shouldn't conflate being a believer with being a "conspiracist," because one thing is just having a belief, while the other implies you're actually out there actively participating in the whole scheme.

Look, if you actually want to exit this life while you’re still in a decent headspace, then just go for it.

But, I mean, if you aren't actually, like, deep down in your soul feeling the urge to end it all right now... if you aren't ready to just take the path of least resistance and wrap things up on a life that hasn't even really kicked off yet—you know, before you've even tasted one tiny little thing that actually exists or achieved any of those massive goals out there—

Then honestly? I suggest flushing those dark thoughts out of your system with some heavy-duty doses of autosuggestion. Just grab a book and start reading.

It weirds me out how many people drift onto this forum talking about suicide when they haven't even put in the actual work to find a way out. Seriously, keep searching until you find something that sticks, and once you do, get moving and try to enjoy a brighter life.

If you can't find the answers here, go pick up some books on psychology. There isn't some magic, easy button for changing who you are until you realize the shift has to happen inside you—you just have to figure out the method. Once you grasp how to flip that switch from total darkness to something bright within yourself, the change becomes pretty straightforward.

Also, I'd suggest checking out the "psychology - Feeling - I don't want to kill myself..." thread; you might stumble upon some solid advice or a way to rewire your thinking there.

Look, don't go mixing your antidepressants with a handful of vitamin b complex, C, D, and E while you're busy crunching on some raw carrots, because honestly, you might just choke to death right then and there, and what happens if there isn't anyone nearby who actually knows how to perform the Heimlich maneuver? 😲

Amanda Myers3 said:Perfectionism is defined as the pursuit of flawlessness, where individuals strive for absolute excellence across all facets of life (Flett and Hewitt, 2002).

According to Slaney, Robert, et al. (1995), perfectionism is comprised of four distinct dimensions:
- maintaining extremely high standards
- orderliness
- tendencies toward procrastination
- interpersonal difficulties.

Modern psychological science distinguishes between adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism. Adaptive perfectionism involves setting high standards and values, whereas maladaptive perfectionism centers on the perception that one can never meet those lofty goals ("nothing is ever good enough").

Positive perfectionism involves thoughts and behaviors aimed at reaching high standards to achieve successful outcomes; it is driven by a desire for achievement and results in genuine satisfaction.

Negative perfectionism refers to thoughts and behaviors driven by the need to reach high standards simply to avoid negative consequences; it is fueled by fear of failure rather than a drive for success.

More recent conceptualizations divide perfectionism into two categories—perfectionistic strivings and perfectionistic concerns—while classifying individuals into three groups: healthy perfectionists, unhealthy perfectionists, and non-perfectionists.

While several theories attempt to explain the development of perfectionism, many have yet to undergo rigorous empirical testing.

This is a general discussion thread regarding perfectionism. It is intended for debating theoretical concepts, raising specific issues, sharing perspectives, or offering advice. Please adhere to the standard forum rules. Given that this thread was originally established in 2008, please check the timestamps before replying to ensure you aren't responding to ancient posts.

__________________________________________________ ______

I am struggling with perfectionism...
In my world, everything has to be flawless. I feel compelled to achieve constantly and be the best at everything I do—if I’m not, the activity stops being fun and just becomes frustrating. I also feel the need to look perfect (since I don't fit certain beauty ideals—I don't have a large bust or a curvy figure, and frankly, I hate my appearance). There is plenty more to list.
I set incredibly high standards for myself, and even if I actually meet them, I just raise the bar even higher.

Is anyone else fighting this same battle? Or has anyone actually managed to overcome perfectionism?

I read a book recently that suggested we should allow ourselves to be average... but I have to ask: why would anyone consciously choose to be mediocre?

Man, I used to obsess over that whole perfectionism thing too, until it finally clicked that "perfection" isn't even a real thing, and once I realized that, it was like a weight just lifted off my shoulders.

The truth is, you become whatever you dwell on. If you spend all your time obsessing over being perfect, then yeah, you're a perfectionist. If you focus on just being average, then that's what you are. Honestly, if you stop stressing about labeling yourself like some kind of psychological specimen, you'll free up so much mental space from all that nonsense.

At the end of the day, the only thing that actually matters is where you decide to point your focus.

Go hunt down a book that’ll actually help you get a grip on how you act and think, something that forces you to wake up to who you really are and what you're actually capable of—you know, stuff you can actually use when life starts hitting the fan in the real world.

granitefalcon26 said:To me, they’ve always just been weaklings who can't handle the realities of life.
And honestly, thinking about Hell just because some girl or woman stopped loving you? That's peak stupidity. Total nonsense. 😂😂🤣🤣🤣
It reminds me of how people talk about young patients dealing with schizophrenia. They actually get out there, work hard, and fight through life. They don't just mope around the house like a bunch of wet cats. 😁

Look, I think you're phrasing that a little off, so let me set the record straight here. The real weaklings aren't the ones struggling to cope; they're the ones who refuse to even step up to the plate and face life head-on. You give people the roadmap, you show them what needs to be done, and if they still end up whining and taking the path of least resistance, well, that's on them. It's their own damn fault at that point.
Nobody ever promised anyone that life would be a walk in the park; if you want something, you've gotta grind for it. Nothing worth having is just handed to you on a silver platter.

Trust me, I've had my own moments where I felt completely leveled by reality—days where I looked at my own mindset and realized I was totally off base—but honestly, those hits just left me with an even more stubborn drive to go out there and fight for the things that actually matter to me.

Sam Hall59 said:Haha, funny thing is, I actually was out earlier... 😁

Seriously though, if anyone actually has some useful advice, feel free to drop it...

I realized tonight that meeting people out in the real world is surprisingly easy—just by paying a little attention to your surroundings—and honestly, there isn't even that much depth required for the conversation. 😁 Clearly, I need to work on my social skills... (haha, just talking to myself here, ignore me... 🙂 )

Look, honestly, it’s not some high-level skill or anything. You just find people who are basically in the same boat as you—you know, people in the same line of work or whatever. And at some point, someone just has to bite the bullet and make the first move. Even if you totally blow it—just laugh it off, own the mistake, and keep moving. Whether it's a total disaster or just a minor awkward moment really depends on who you're talking to and how bad you actually messed up.

Making mistakes is just part of being human.

Sam Hall59 said:I'm not giving up—not quite. I’ve actually mapped out a little master plan to finally become a functional social human being. Here’s the strategy:

1. Join a club or some kind of organization that actually requires (at least above-average) social skills.

2. Pick up a summer job through a campus employment office that forces interaction
(think telemarketing, door-to-door surveying—basically anything where talking to strangers isn't optional).

3. Get out there—hit up concerts, meet people in the wild, find a crew.

4. ? (If anyone has any actual suggestions for step four, feel free to drop them below.)

Just step away from the screen and go touch some grass for once...