Posts by Emily Hayes

Steven Hall2 said:I honestly can't tell you which option would be "better"—whether I should purge or not. 😕
Since either way ends up being an absolute disaster...

Anyway, over on the other subforum:

🙂 It sounds ridiculous, but unfortunately, it's the truth.

In my book, "better" means you don't have to deal with the relapse. 🙂
And look, you really can overcome this and come out on top.
I managed to pull myself through without any professional help, though I’d still strongly suggest you reach out to a specialist just to be safe.😉 🙂

Steven Hall2 said:Yes, you make a valid point. More often than not, my eating habits are tied directly to my mental state; whenever my mood dips, my food intake spikes, even though I am already eating excessively on a regular basis... I have gained quite a bit of weight recently, about eleven pounds in just over a month.

Well, there is occasional nausea, though certainly not every single time, and I don't experience an urge to purge; instead, there is just this heavy sense of regret and a nagging guilt that I have overdone it once again... and that I am gaining weight, steadily gaining weight, and that this simply isn't healthy.

Based on your description, I don't believe I fit that specific clinical definition since I don't push myself to the point of vomiting, but I certainly struggle with a different kind of issue: the inability to say "no" to food...

Yeah, it’s definitely a lot to take in, but honestly? It could have been a whole lot worse. 😉
The absolute worst thing you can do right now is spiral into guilt or start punishing yourself just because the scale went up. Honestly, that kind of self-sabotage is a trap. If you start beating yourself up over a few extra pounds, you’re almost certainly going to end up bingeing again, which just leads to more weight gain. It becomes this vicious, exhausting cycle that's impossible to break if you don't stop the shame before it starts.

Try to really pin down those moments when you start feeling low. Don't just let the gloom wash over you—actually stop and identify exactly what triggered it. Is it a specific task at work? A certain conversation? Or maybe just that heavy feeling you get after scrolling through social media for too long? When you can put a name to the cause, it stops being this overwhelming, shapeless cloud and starts becoming something you can actually manage. It’s like trying to fix a leak in your house; you can't patch the drywall until you figure out exactly where the water is coming from. Be intentional about it.
Binge eating is essentially a way to numb your senses, and that’s exactly why we fall into the trap. It’s like trying to drown out a loud, piercing noise by turning up a different kind of static. That heavy, brain-fogged stupor you feel after overstuffing yourself? It acts as a temporary shield, a way to dull the sharper edges of the pain we're carrying around in our daily lives. But let's be honest: that momentary relief isn't worth the aftermath. The wave of regret and the sheer self-loathing that follows is a massive, heavy price to pay just to feel nothing for a few minutes.

Once you finally pin down those underlying triggers—you know, identifying exactly what drives you to binge and recognizing those specific moments when the urge hits—that’s when the real work begins. You have to start tackling those root causes head-on. I won't sugarcoat it: this process is a marathon. It’s long, it’s grueling, and there will be days when you want to throw in the towel, but I promise you, it is worth every bit of the struggle. Here is the most important thing to remember, though: the goal here isn't actually about hitting a certain number on a scale or shedding pounds. If you focus solely on weight loss, you're missing the point. The true objective is to stop that cycle of self-destructive behavior entirely. Think of it like rebuilding a house from the foundation up rather than just slapping a new coat of paint on a crumbling wall. Once you’ve actually fixed the structural issues—once you’ve mastered the psychological side of things—then, and only then, can you move on to the more visible part of the journey. At that stage, managing your weight becomes the much easier, secondary task because you're no longer fighting against yourself.

Steven Hall2 said:Yes, you make a valid point. More often than not, my eating habits are tied directly to my mental state; whenever my mood dips, my food intake spikes, even though I am already eating excessively on a regular basis... I have gained quite a bit of weight recently, about eleven pounds in just over a month.

Well, there is occasional nausea, though certainly not every single time, and I don't experience an urge to purge; instead, there is just this heavy sense of regret and a nagging guilt that I have overdone it once again... and that I am gaining weight, steadily gaining weight, and that this simply isn't healthy.

Based on your description, I don't believe I fit that specific clinical definition since I don't push myself to the point of vomiting, but I certainly struggle with a different kind of issue: the inability to say "no" to food...

😢
Honestly, you’re just spinning your wheels by throwing ash around and beating yourself up over it. It doesn't change a thing.
Honestly, just the fact that you’re actually aware of the problem is already a massive step in the right direction. It’s like when you first realize your car is making a weird clicking sound—most people just turn up the radio to drown it out, but once you stop and acknowledge that something is off, you've actually started the process of fixing it. Being self-aware enough to spot the issue is half the battle won. 🙂

Steven Hall2 said:Yes, you make a valid point. More often than not, my eating habits are tied directly to my mental state; whenever my mood dips, my food intake spikes, even though I am already eating excessively on a regular basis... I have gained quite a bit of weight recently, about eleven pounds in just over a month.

Well, there is occasional nausea, though certainly not every single time, and I don't experience an urge to purge; instead, there is just this heavy sense of regret and a nagging guilt that I have overdone it once again... and that I am gaining weight, steadily gaining weight, and that this simply isn't healthy.

Based on your description, I don't believe I fit that specific clinical definition since I don't push myself to the point of vomiting, but I certainly struggle with a different kind of issue: the inability to say "no" to food...

Look, honestly? It doesn't matter if you can't find the exact medical term for what you're going through. You don't need to be an expert in Latin terminology or have a PhD to understand that something isn't right. At the end of the day, the label matters a lot less than the reality of the situation. What actually counts is recognizing that you've got a problem and then taking that first, crucial step toward getting it treated. That’s where the real progress starts.

There is no such thing as "I don't know."
If a toddler actually understood what the phrase "I don't know" meant, they’d probably never even bother learning how to walk. Instead of getting up and moving, they’d just stay planted right there on the floor, pouting their lip and throwing a massive tantrum, screaming, "I don't knoooow!" or "I can't do iiiit!" 😉 🙂

🙂

To kick things off, I think it’s really important to get honest with yourself about those specific moments when you feel the urge to binge and, more importantly, why it's happening. In my experience, binging isn't just a random occurrence; it usually happens because of very specific triggers or situations.

When you use the word "binging," what does that actually look like for you? Are we talking about just eating a large amount of food, or is it more intense—like eating until you’re right on the edge of being sick, waiting for a little space to clear in your stomach just so you can keep going? Do you deal with that heavy, nauseous feeling where you feel like you might throw up, but you force yourself to push through it?

If you're just eating large portions, then you aren't necessarily dealing with this particular disorder.
But if you're eating to the point of physical distress and then forcing yourself to continue—then you're looking at 🙂

Kate Sullivan22 said:I used to absolutely love my instant coffee loaded with sugar. These days, though? I’m drinking it almost black—no sugar at all (it's wild, right?)! Plus, lemonade and everything else is better without the extra sweetness anyway.😉

Honestly, I don't know how people deal with artificial sweeteners. If you don't have an issue with them, you're lucky, because they absolutely wreck my stomach. I end up breaking out in sweats and feeling totally wiped out... it's a mess.

It's funny, so many people look at me like I'm crazy for not putting sugar in my lemonade. Meanwhile, they're basically dumping pounds of it into their own drinks! I haven't touched sweetened water in years, and now the taste is just repulsive to me—especially if someone slips sugar into my drink without realizing.

I’ve actually never even tried artificial sweeteners, so I can't say for sure. I just try to steer clear of anything that feels too "processed" whenever I can. 🙂

Kate Sullivan22 said:Just for the record, I actually took Dr. Montignac's advice to heart and started drinking my coffee totally black. Honestly? For the first two days, I was in a foul mood and snapping at everyone in sight. But now? It’s actually pretty fine.

And I'm with Emily Hayes on this one: two spoonfuls of sugar aren't going to make you gain two pounds, and besides, you know what's actually causing the weight gain.

I've gone completely sugar-free myself—coffee, instant coffee, tea, lemonade... everything. 😁

I have to agree with Kate Sullivan22 here; she really knows how to make a point. 👍 😁

fadedbear8 said:I really don't think taking, say, two Aspartame tablets a day (to sweeten two coffees) is actually going to kill you...

Look, those two tiny spoonfuls of sugar aren't going to drop dead or make you gain weight like a prize hog either, so you might as well swap them for sweeteners you don't even understand. 🙂

I'm not entirely sure why you're reaching for Aspartame in the first place, but most people do it because they're obsessed with "cutting calories." It’s like that one little spoonful of sugar is some massive dealbreaker. Personally, I’d rather take my chances with a potential little devil than consume something that actually packs a caloric punch.

I don't put sugar in my tea, coffee, or any of my drinks.

As for Natrue, I wouldn't touch it even if my life depended on it. 🙂

Mark Stewart4 said:Hey everyone... some days just hit different. There are days when
I just want to disappear because nothing feels right and my mind starts drifting through these dark, empty spaces.
That was me the day before yesterday... Honestly, I felt like I was losing my mind!!! I spent my entire teenage years obsessed with the scale (and honestly, I’m still not even that far 😉 ), and to make matters worse, I have a mom who people constantly mistake for my older sister. We’re doing alright now, though—she put on a few pounds, I dropped a few...
I remember going shopping together back then; I’d be hiding in the men's section grabbing trousers without even trying them on because I was too mortified to let anyone catch a glimpse of me, while my mom would be squeezing into outfits most people would say were way too young for her. I was proud of her, sure... but at the same time, I was absolutely fuming, even though deep down I knew she wasn't the one to blame for the things I was "accusing" her of.
The day before yesterday, it wasn't my mom's fault—it was just everything else in the world. We went out shopping for her because I had decided I wasn't even allowed to buy socks for the next two months. It felt like every single person walking by was "perfect"—girls, women, old ladies, all of them looking snatched in their jeans, tees, blazers, and whatever else. They had odds of being "perfect" that I'd only see if I actually won the Lott (if only 🙏 )
So yeah, that was my day before yesterday—one of those days where everything inside me turns bitter and I can't stop thinking about all the layers of fat and junk sitting on my body. Yeah...
But thank God, those days are becoming fewer and far between, and I'm starting to feel better and better!!!
It’s such a relief to just vent like this... I wish I could completely shake this self-doubt and the constant fear of failing. I'm fighting it, but sometimes the exhaustion hits so hard that everything just looks pitch black.😠
Today isn't exactly one of those amazing days, either 🙂

Just watch them and hold onto your little secret—because in a few months, all that hard work you're putting in is going to be impossible to ignore. It won't just show in how you look, but in how you carry yourself, too. Because deep down, you'll have that undeniable proof that you actually did it. 😉

brightlynx11 said:Look, I never claimed my way was the only way, just that it delivers the best results. Studies show about 90% of people cut their weight in half within two years of getting a gastric band. Most of them actually keep the weight off even after the band comes out. In the rest of the world, this is a routine fix for morbid obesity, and for tons of people, it’s literally a lifesaver.

I’m not so sure an 1100-calorie restrictive diet can really become someone's "lifestyle." Personally, I figured out which foods were healthy and what I should be eating a long time ago—mostly because both my parents had heart bypass surgery—but I ended up eating WAY too much of those "healthy" foods. It isn't just about *what* you eat; it's about how much. My issue wasn't my food structure, it was volume, and that's where the band helps because it physically limits how much you can shove in.
The magic part about the band is that you can stick to an 1100-calorie limit without feeling like you're starving. Not feeling hungry is HUGE, and anyone who’s ever tried to diet knows exactly what I mean. Right now, I get full off one tiny yogurt and stay satisfied for like 5 or 6 hours.
Why did I see results so fast? Because I stuck to that restrictive diet 99.99% of the time (okay, I had a slice of birthday cake), I didn't fail because I wasn't even hungry, and I crushed an hour on the elliptical every single day.
One big reason people crash and burn on diets is pure hunger—they can't stand it. And the heavier a person is, the bigger the stomach, which makes that hunger even worse. So, for anyone with a massive BMI (like, over 40), the most logical move is to get the band and solve the problem once and for all. Just because the medical establishment here in America is conservative about this method doesn't change the fact that globally, this is standard procedure, often done as an outpatient thing.
Besides, it’s not like this is the only life-saving surgery out there, so I don't get why everyone is making such a huge deal out of it.

Of course, whether or not someone actually goes through with getting the band is a personal call. You have to be honest with yourself and promise you'll actually follow the rules...

Personally, I don't buy into the whole 1,100-calorie diet thing.
Look, if you’re going to follow the rules, you’re going to follow them whether you have a band or not. People who opt for surgery beforehand go through extensive testing (which you know firsthand), and doctors select candidates they believe won't just give up halfway through. So, that high percentage of people opting for surgery isn't actually that surprising.

I’m not criticizing your choice. I’m just saying that while it might have felt like the most acceptable path for you, it might not be for someone else. There’s no point in trying to market your specific way of doing things as the only way. I’m not claiming my approach is superior, so there’s really no need for you to insist that your path is the "most rational" solution.

Whether you choose surgery or start a strict diet, you’re essentially deciding to permanently overhaul your lifestyle (assuming you actually want to lose weight for good). Your results might come faster, sure, but both methods can work. It really just comes down to what works for the individual.

stormylynx4 said:People get worked up because they still view obesity as a failure of willpower—a character flaw—rather than a legitimate medical issue.
There is a massive difference between being a few pounds overweight and being in a category of pathological obesity with a high BMI. Pathological obesity doesn't just happen overnight; the entire body undergoes physiological changes. You can't judge someone dealing with clinical obesity based on the few extra pounds someone might carry due to bad habits.
It feels pretty hypocritical to lecture someone about "willpower" when they're choosing a procedure that actually saves their life. Obesity kills, both directly and indirectly. Meanwhile, you see countless women rushing into totally unnecessary liposuction or cosmetic tweaks that have absolutely nothing to do with health.

I don't look at this as a willpower issue; I see it as a health issue and a psychological one too. I’m definitely not one of those people who just makes grand gestures and says, "Just eat less, move your heavy butt, and you'll lose weight."
I understand what pathological obesity is. I know exactly what I'm talking about. 😉

I’m not getting worked up over anyone's decision to use surgery to help achieve a healthy weight. Nor am I suggesting that surgery is linked to a lack of willpower. 😕 I am simply denying that it is the single most rational or best solution for everyone; I’m stating that it is just *one* of many solutions. At the end of the day, everyone chooses their own path.

brightlynx11 said:And what if you actually weigh 330 lbs? Then gastric bypass is your only real move. Been there, done that. Dropped 130 pounds in a single year. Gone for good. No diet on earth is hitting those kinds of numbers. Sure, eating right matters, but when someone's got over 100 pounds to drop, they’d need to be on a strict regimen for years just to lose it and stay there. Good luck finding anyone with that kind of discipline for years on end. 🙄

Also, go Mediterranean. More fish, less meat, tons of veggies and fruit, olive oil. You'll live to be 100. 😍

I have to disagree here.
Look, surgery is definitely one option on the table. I'm not here to bash that route, nor am I criticizing you for choosing it for yourself.
The thing is, a healthy lifestyle isn't just some temporary "diet" you stick to for a few months or a year; it's a complete shift in how you eat. It's a collection of habits that you carry with you for the rest of your life.
The only real difference here is that you reached your goal much faster. Normally, this process takes more time. But honestly, once your body starts "singing" because you finally started treating it with the respect it deserves, the number on the scale becomes secondary. It doesn't matter if you lost 60 pounds or 30 pounds in a single year—what matters is that you feel better.
I respect your path and the choice you've made.
I just ask that you respect everyone else's paths and choices, too.
Please don't claim that your way is the only "right" or "good" way to do things. 😉

Lisa Wells65 said:Over at AC Milan, they offer the Sensual mix, which honestly feels pretty similar to the S-Factor. You’d go about twice a week, and the membership runs $63 a month.

Wait, where exactly is AC Milan located? 😳

There is no such thing as an effective diet for dropping pounds; what you actually need to change is your entire way of life.
Any diet that forces you to deprive yourself of things you love—where you cut out specific food groups just to see the scale drop quickly—is fundamentally a bad diet.
Eat everything you enjoy. Just be mindful of your portions and pay attention to when you’re eating. Drink plenty of water. Get moving every single day. Find a sport or some kind of activity that you genuinely enjoy, rather than picking something solely because its purpose is weight loss. If you hate what you're doing, it becomes incredibly easy to just quit.😉
Weighing yourself every day is toxic. Honestly, being obsessed with the number on the scale isn't healthy. Regardless of what that number says, make an effort to dress well and feel good in your own skin. Because as long as you are unhappy with yourself, you'll keep trying to solve that dissatisfaction the only way you know how: through food.
Try not to eat for several hours before you go to bed. Aim to eat your main meals earlier in the evening. Break your food intake up into more frequent, smaller meals. And NO!! Do not let yourself get hungry.

How fast the pounds come off doesn't even matter. Look at it this way: if you had been losing just one pound a month over the last year—something you wouldn't even really notice—you would be 12 pounds lighter right now. Now, take a moment to think about how your weight has fluctuated over this past year, and think about how much you've sacrificed, struggled, and felt disappointed.

The math is pretty simple. 🙂

Gerald Kern77 said:There is no magic child or secret formula—only one rule: watch your calorie intake. Cut out the high-calorie stuff (fats), empty calories (like soda or alcohol), and those hidden sugars tucked away in everything from cereal to flavored water... then try to load up on fruits and vegetables (especially low-glycemic ones), eat five meals a day, and get moving. It doesn't have to be a gym session; simply walking instead of driving or taking the bus, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, or a quick bike ride—it all works. Results might not be instant, but they tend to stick.

My weight has fluctuated my entire life—standing 5'7", I've gone from a low of 105 to a high of 158 lbs—and I carry more weight in my lower body. Those shifts were relatively easy to manage when I was younger, but once I hit 35, the scale mostly goes up, and coming back down becomes a struggle, regardless of the diet. Because of high cholesterol a few years back, I had to overhaul my diet completely, and I’ve stayed steady at around 128 lbs since. After a few months of this new way of eating—slashing fats, sticking to turkey or chicken breast, plenty of fish, veggies, and fruit, and drinking nothing but water or sugar-free coffee—my palate shifted entirely. I used to crave chocolate; now, I can't even look at it, though I'll lose my mind over a bowl of strawberries...

Work keeps me busy, so I don't have time for constant workouts, but I never use the elevator, I park far away from my office entrance, and I try to find time at least three times a week to go rollerblading through Central Park—it's much more my speed than the gym. 👍

The truth lives here👍 👍

Mark Stewart4 said:Yeah, yeah... I’m honestly just laughing at myself at this point!!! Once again, I decided to take a "big leap" and once again, I completely blew it!!! Way to go, me!!! I don't even know how to deal with this anymore when my willpower is basically non-existent.
Everything feels totally pointless right now. I am so done with the constant setbacks and then the massive mood swings that hit immediately after I try to "fix things" with whatever quick fix comes my way!!!
Seriously though, how do you guys actually pull this off?!?!?! Is there even any hope for someone like me?! Why does everything feel ten times harder now than it used to be?! Does anyone even have an answer for that?!
It feels like everyone here has stopped posting too, and I’m left feeling like everyone has just given up on me—and honestly, mostly I've just given up on myself!!!
But look, even though I’m spiraling right now, I think I’ll actually make that kale dish stormylynx4 was talking about for lunch...
I feel terrible, just awful... My period is coming and I honestly feel like I could bite my own head off!!!

When you "mess up," just get back on track immediately. It's like a toddler learning to walk; they fall down constantly, but eventually, they start running. Soon enough, walking just becomes second nature.🙂

ironnomad14 said:I'm grabbing some burgers today... I mean, if I stick to the plan for two weeks and then mess up for just one day... it's not that big of a deal, right? I'll just get back to it for another two weeks... I guess it's just about taking two steps forward and one step back... maybe.

Why on earth would kebabs be a step backward? 😕
If you just grab the smaller portion, you're golden. It's never a good idea to completely deprive yourself of the things you actually love.😉

Megan Diaz33 said:Honestly, I’d love to have a feature that shows me exactly who is checking out my profile.😢

You know what? I’d actually prefer to see a list of everyone who is NOT looking at my profile.😢

Douglas Robinson said:🙂 Oh, hell no. It’s actually quite the opposite... What truly unnerves me is an unexpected sound. Almost every single time there's a sudden crack of thunder nearby, I jump out of my skin. Most people get that visual warning—you know, the flash of light—but for me, it's just this sudden, violent boom hitting my ears without any notice... It's much the same when I get lost in my own thoughts and fail to realize someone has walked up behind me—and then they suddenly speak right next to my ear. And honestly, there's more to it: snakes, bugs, the unpredictable nature of a thunderstorm... all those little things that could turn dangerous in an instant.

That’s a really interesting perspective.
I mean, I definitely get spooked by a sudden flash of light when I’m sitting in the dark, much like how I'd jump at a sudden loud noise.
Maybe saying I'm afraid of the dark is a bit of an exaggeration, but total darkness makes me feel incredibly vulnerable. It’s that sense of helplessness—I have nothing to lean on, I can't find my bearings, and I just feel completely lost.
So, I was really just trying to find something that felt like the equivalent of that sensation for you, since you're blind.
I’m guessing that constant, disorienting noise is to you what a bright light shoved in my eyes would be to me.
But if that's the case, what does "darkness" actually feel like to you?

Douglas Robinson said:Look, I’m just going to attempt to clear up a few of the lingering uncertainties that have surfaced in your posts—though I can't promise to settle everything...
I find myself operating under the assumption that if you were to ask even a blind man for his perspective on this particular mess, he’d likely offer you something entirely different from what the rest of you are peddling...
I lost my sight during my junior year of college—it’s hard to claim any real authority when I talk about how I perceived color back then. A few years after that, I developed this intense obsession with red; it’s the shade that has lingered most stubbornly in my mind, likely because of its sheer aggression, though there was also one specific scene from that time where red just seemed to swallow everything else whole. Over the years, though, that clarity has faded... it’s become a memory of a memory. Now, I find myself merely remembering the fact that I once remembered that red...
There was a certain stretch of my life where I found myself inexplicably drawn to pink—a phase that felt almost overwhelming at times—but then, eventually, the pendulum swung toward purple, and I suppose I’ve stayed there ever since... It remains a favorite of mine, even now.
Everything I claim to know about color theory is nothing more than dry, academic abstraction—warm versus cold, vibrant versus pastel, light versus dark—and frankly, none of those textbook definitions have done much to help me actually connect with them. Still, I suppose there was a certain necessity to forming these mental concepts, even back in my early childhood... a need to categorize the world just to make sense of it. Ultimately, all I’m left with is my own imagination, and my perception of color remains something entirely internal, existing only within the confines of my own mind. For instance, while the textbooks insist that purple is a cool tone, to me, it possesses this inexplicable warmth. It isn't the searing heat you get from a red, of course, but there is a certain glow to it... a comfort. Even if my understanding of the spectrum is wildly detached from reality, I find this subjective version far more interesting—though, I highly doubt I would be able to identify a single actual color if I were suddenly granted sight...

There have been various attempts to stage color through touch, sound, or even scent—an interesting concept, I suppose—but I can’t help but feel that any such experience would be entirely beholden to the individual's subjective perception of those colors... which makes the whole endeavor somewhat precarious. In my own experience, I’ve found that two people can encounter the exact same aroma yet walk away with vastly different impressions and descriptions. If we cannot even agree on the essence of a single scent, how could we ever hope to standardize the "feeling" of a hue? Of course, these sensory experiments aren't entirely without merit—they might offer a fleeting hint or a vague approximation—but they will never truly capture the soul of color... not in any meaningful way.

As someone living with blindness, I find myself constantly confronted by this recurring question regarding color dreams—specifically, how exactly one "sees" in them. There is always this palpable sense of anticipation in the way people ask, an eagerness for me to recount some vivid, Technicolor odyssey that simply doesn't exist... or at least, isn't interesting to me. I don't dream in color, nor do I dream through sight, even though my sleeping mind is perfectly capable of conjuring things that would be physically impossible in reality. For instance, in a dream, I might possess an absolute certainty that an object is positioned right in front of me without ever having touched it—or I’ll know with total clarity that a specific person is standing in the room, even if I haven't heard their voice. I don't "see" them, per se; it is more of a profound, intuitive awareness of their presence... Naturally, those who have spent their lives seeing likely experience a fundamentally different dreamscape—one fueled by their ability to recall colors and the visual textures they've internalized over a lifetime...

I have to admit, the whole concept of regression sounded rather intriguing when it was first brought up—it certainly piqued my interest—but my actual understanding of the mechanics behind it is admittedly thin. I wouldn’t dream of venturing too deep into that particular rabbit hole without more substance... it feels a bit premature to weigh in just yet.

"A world of darkness"... it’s a phrase people toss around all the time, isn't it? And frankly, I find it difficult to wrap my head around the logic behind it. I don't feel like I'm inhabiting some alternate dimension—and believe me, the people I deal with every day, the ones who actually know me, certainly don't perceive me as someone living in some sort of gloomy, shadow-filled void. I constantly get these little comments thrown my way—things like, "Why haven't you turned on the light?" or "Can you grab me that blue shirt?"—as if there were some visual struggle occurring. And since we’re on the subject of darkness—though I realize how difficult this might be for some to grasp—I don't actually know what darkness *is*. Not in the sense we discussed regarding colors, anyway. Because I don't perceive light, the concept of darkness simply doesn't exist for me. This whole idea of "living in the dark" is fundamentally flawed from my perspective; I recently found myself in a rather tedious debate with someone trying to argue the opposite point. They were attempting to convince me that my reality consists entirely of darkness, and that I just somehow fail to recognize it. It was quite absurd... and utterly unconvincing. I tried explaining it to them, much as I have to others, that the visual faculty simply isn't part of my biology. It’s as if I belong to a species that was never equipped with sight to begin with. Just as one cannot see out of their knee or their back because there are no visual receptors there to process an image, I simply do not "see" through eyes...

I’m not entirely sure if this will actually clear things up for any of you—though I certainly tried my best to lay it all out...

Thank you so much for clarifying that. I've always been curious about how blind people actually experience the world around them.
You described it so beautifully. 🙂

Quick question: Since most people are terrified of the dark, what is it that scares you? Is it silence?

If you want to fix the world, first focus on fixing yourself.

I’m not really feeling that bolded part, to be honest.
It feels like we can only truly work on our own lives, hoping that our tiny grain of sand eventually joins up with others to make a real difference.

To me, it ties directly back to that idea: if I’m not happy, there’s just no way I can make the people around me happy either.

If someone is just being toxic and looking for a fight for no reason, honestly, you can just tune them out.

Now, if you’re actually in the middle of a debate where you genuinely disagree—that's different. In those cases, you either dive into a real, reasoned discussion or you don't. It's really that simple.

I don't see why everyone is getting so worked up about this. Every corner of the internet has its share of difficult personalities, and online forums are no exception. At the end of the day, you’re the one in the driver's seat; you get to decide whose opinions actually carry weight and who is worth your time, whether you're engaging publicly or just sending a private message.🙂

Walter Hayes5 said:You can find them in any pharmacy, whether you’re hitting up a CVS or one of those specialized holistic shops; it doesn't really matter.

The thing is, I’m low-key terrified of the whole process. I actually tried it, but I just had this massive panic attack thinking some wax was going to drip deep into my ear canal. My mom keeps insisting that it's physically impossible for that to happen, but honestly, I’m still pretty spooked by the idea.

On a side note, I’ve tested this on my dog, and it definitely works—it pulls everything right out. 🙂
(And before anyone starts, we weren't being cruel to the poor thing; she just had some buildup that needed cleaning.)

So now all those activist groups are stripping naked in front of labs, and people are doing it right in their own living rooms 🙄

What, did you try putting L'Oréal mascara on him just because his eyes were bothering him? 👎

(For the record, I'm just messing around; I actually think highly of Walter Hayes5, but don't tell him I said that)

Kate Cox2 said:But I've actually never spotted one while shopping at Walmart... where on earth would they keep it? And what does the packaging even look like?

I honestly have no clue where you'd find it. 😁
I actually had one right in my hands at Cosmos—you know, that big Walmart's pharmacy aisle.

I mean, how should I know? It’s sort of long and shaped like a little Tuljak. Honestly, you can't even handle this stuff alone; you really need someone there with you. You just stick it in your ear and light it up.

As soon as I skimmed the beginning of the instructions, I decided to just put it back on the shelf and push it deep into the back of my mind.😲

Any general practitioner can flush out your ear for you.
Before they even try that, though, you’ll usually need to spend a few days using some ear drops a couple of times a day (you can grab these over-the-counter at a local CVS or Walgreens for about $2.75) to soften up the wax buildup. For some people, that’s actually all it takes. But if your hearing still feels muffled after that, you just head to the doctor to have them perform a professional rinse.

The rinsing process itself isn't inherently dangerous. The real risk comes if you end up with a doctor who’s a bit careless; if they aren't careful with the syringe, they could potentially damage your eardrum. That’s why it’s so vital to find a physician you truly trust. They typically use lukewarm water for the procedure. Just a heads-up: you’ll probably deal with some ringing in your ears for anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour right after it's done. 😁

You can pick up a Tuljak lighter at any Home Depot, but personally, I’ve always been a little skeptical about those "DIY" type solutions. 🙂