CheckEmoji Community · the emoji forum
🏠 Home 🆕 What's new ❓ Unanswered 🔥 Popular 📡 RSS Members 👥 0 online log in · register
Home › Zachary Ortiz › Posts

Posts by Zachary Ortiz

22 posts shown.

Firefighter Sam in Miscellaneous ·
Taylor Brown61 said:my heart just skips a beat whenever I see you! 😍

The feeling is mutual. 😍

Except, not exactly the heart part. 🙂

On a side note—how long exactly are you planning on gaslighting your husband into believing that child is actually his??? 🙂
Firefighter Sam in Miscellaneous ·
You degenerate pregnant woman—what’s itching your brain this time?? 🙂
Firefighter Sam in Miscellaneous ·
Wait, is that idiot Trevor in this cartoon too?? :klap:

What on earth is he even doing there???

Is he driving a bus???🙂 🙂
Firefighter Sam in Miscellaneous ·
He’s faster than a wildfire—stronger than any disaster you could throw at him!

For the brave Firefighter Sam
there’s absolutely no problem

Because no problem because fearless Sam takes care of everything!

Tuuu- duuuu-duuuu-duuuuu
Tuuu- duuuu-duuuu-duuuuu
Tuuu- duuuu-duuuu-duuuu-duuuu!!!

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Hero in Movies ·
casualotter21 said:You really have to grasp that Rebecca Miller2 is essentially at odds with the Catholic Church—which, if you listen to her own admissions, has actually attempted to take her out on several occasions simply because she insists on preaching the TRUTH.

🤣 🙏 🤣 🙏 🤣 🙏 🤣 🙏 🤣 🙏
F***ing hell!!!! in Women's Health ·
Ugh, I’m losing my mind over here too. 🙂

Where did everyone go??
Everything is just falling apart. 🥳
Hero in Movies ·
Rebecca Miller2, wait—aren't you that total nutcase, Kaćunko?!?! 🤣 🤣 🤣
Biopsy results came back clear? in Health ·
ruggedheron8 said:Can someone please help me make sense of this sentence from a biopsy report regarding an ovarian cyst that was removed...

No. 😁
Genital pain... in Health ·
Jimmy Floyd, your suggestion was shot down without a second thought. 🙂

Those 48 centimeters are my entire life. 🙂

Try coming up with something actually useful next time.

Alright, buddy?? 😉
Genital pain... in Health ·
Who’s up for a little sing-along??? 🙂

From Palace to Palace

My boots are laced up high and tight
And through the dark, I find my way
The black stallion knows where I tie my gear
Even the dogs watch me pass—they know the game

From palace to palace I roam
Never met a rogue quite like me
I'll steal your heart away
Little darling, wait and see

Don't go scolding me, old man
It's the ladies from three different towns who are mad
Because I tipped my hat to every girl I saw
And stole their hearts with a single glance

The dew has already settled on the frost
And I haven't a clue which direction to take
But wherever I wander, they're all willing to help
Just so I might stay until the morning light breaks

From palace to palace I roam
Never met a rogue quite like me
I'll steal your heart away
Little darling, wait and see x 2


Yeeee-hawwwwwww-haaaaaaaa-haaaaaaa-haaaaaa !!!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Does acupuncture actually work? in Health ·
shadowfalcon33 said:Basically, acupuncture (for preventing migraines) is about as effective as just sticking needles into random parts of your body. 😁

You can say that again, man. 😢

I once—purely by accident, mind you—shot myself through both testicles with a harpoon.

The headaches vanished instantly.

The penile pain? Not so much.

And ever since then, I swear my growth spurt just... took off.

It only recently leveled out.

Now it looks like a freaking baobab tree.
Forty meters high and thirty wide.
😢
Genital pain... in Health ·
I’ve already given that so-called "anal Hamilton procedure" a shot.

Sadly, it didn't exactly do the trick.

Though, I have to admit—it’s starting to grow on me, this sensation of my own guts being right up there in my backside.

Almost as much as being in your mouth. 😉
Genital pain... in Health ·
It appears I am quite literally a magnet for idiots. 🙄

Rapidhound78, go pee and get some sleep.
Genital pain... in Health ·
Matthew Morris28 said:The cure for all your issues is some kind of magic ointment—let's call it New York City Sludge. Honestly, you probably have massive blisters on your hands from either typing out this nonsense or... well, let's just say other repetitive daily activities. 😁

Who even manufactures this "City Sludge" anyway??

Is it Atrix? 😳

If it is, man... just forget about it..

To cover my entire backside with that stuff, I’d need about three tons of cream.

And I definitely don't have that kind of cash. 😢

Hmm, if I start with this whole "creaming" business now, where does it end? That doesn't seem like a sustainable option either.

God, that's like starting to paint the exterior of your house and then quitting halfway through. 🙄

What do you think, buddy??

Your logic only applies to the downstairs department.

I'm listening.

Go ahead, you cowards.

I'm drunk and currently cursing out my sportsbook bets.

Don't you guys start getting on my nerves too.
Genital pain... in Health ·
You’ve been flagged for a ban. 😉

This is hardly the appropriate venue or the right moment to be mocking my physical imperfections. 👎

Shame on you, truly... 👎
And as for the rest of you—you bunch of cynics—maybe try showing a little empathy for once...🙂

Go on then, pat yourselves on the back, offer some hollow comfort... maybe things will improve even with those spikes... 😢
Genital pain... in Health ·
Don't you dare trivialize my struggles, you digital beast!!!🙂
Do you have any earthly idea what it’s like—actually, let me rephrase—do you have even the slightest inkling of what it feels like to walk around for your entire life carrying ten pounds of extra kidney meat between your legs??😢

Of course you don't.

My spine is basically shot at this point.

I’m starting to look like a freaking Quasimodo. 😢
Genital pain... in Health ·
Dear fellow forum members—I am currently grappling with some rather significant health complications regarding my massive reproductive apparatus.

Beyond the fact that I suffer from excruciating bouts of pain every two or three days, lately—as if the aforementioned issue weren't enough—there is this frantic leaking after I finish urinating. It’s akin to a rusty metal faucet left running. 😢

The urologist informs me that the root of this struggle likely stems from my intense physical endowments, though he hasn't ruled out the possibility of testicular inflammation caused by excessively frequent sexual activity.

While I fought tooth and nail against his bureaucratic policy of reduction, I eventually—facing the hurricane-force onslaught of empty demagoguery from a medical council of Swiss phrenologists—was forced to unconditionally surrender.

Now, I am tasked with trimming those excessive 37 daily encounters down to a more manageable 26, so that—to quote the man: "my grand organ can fully revitalize and achieve the necessary conditioning for all the challenges the new academic year brings." End quote.

Since I have never found myself in such a dire (one might even say hopeless) predicament, I humbly request that you, esteemed forum members, lend your precious advice and words of support to help me find light at the end of this dark tunnel: Mount Rainier—Saint Roch—Appalachian Mountains.

My thanks to you all in advance.

Sincerely,
Anthony, Anthony, a hero, not a villain!!!! 🎉 🎉 🙂

Oops... Wrong password. My apologies.

Forgive my unrefined little nervous tics. 😢

And the lady at the pharmacy was kind enough to tell me there wouldn't be any side effects.

Dammit.
Lying dog. 😢
Dance moves? in Other Sports ·
Sarah Ramirez7 said:Hey everyone,
is anyone here actually into dancing?
Does anyone even dance at all?

I do. 🥳
Tango and salsa.
🙂
Heartbreak in Health ·
Bryan Morales75 said:I’m honestly at a loss here. Send help. 😁

Think about her. 😁
Psoriasis [PLEASE READ FIRST POST!] in Health ·
Psoriasis isn't even a real thing.

It’s just some communist fabrication—nothing more.

Just like AIDS. 🙂