Look, I’m certainly not advocating for physical punishment, but I am also completely against this trend of turning a blind eye to everything a kid does—even when they're actively causing chaos for everyone else! Is it really acceptable to just let a child scream their head off in the middle of a Target, slamming into people or tossing items off the shelves?🙄Is that actually okay? It feels like 90% of parents in these situations just ignore the meltdown entirely. In fact, they often go a step further and start an argument if you have the audacity to politely point out the behavior. Honestly, I get the impression these parents spend all their time scrolling through parenting blogs or snapping selfies, convinced their little one is some kind of precious deity that the rest of the world should bow down to and cater to. I mean, seriously?
briskstag26 said:Preach. The problem is those "friends" who act like nothing has changed and then throw a fit the second you say, "Sorry, I'm busy tomorrow night." In my book, those people aren't actually friends. Being possessive and selfish isn't what friendship is about.
But I suspect the author—and most people in this thread—isn't actually talking about that. We’re talking about the people who just vanish. Personally, I've never once been upset when someone tells me they can't grab a coffee or hang out. Honestly? If they tell me they're overwhelmed with work or life, I'll be the one suggesting we reschedule for another time! That's not an issue at all. The real problem lies with the people you reach out to, only for them to say, "Yeah, I'll get back to you," and then... nothing. Silence. Six months pass without a word, and by that point, you don't even consider them friends anymore. But then, suddenly, they remember you exist and want to pick up right where you left off? That’s the crux of it. It’s about the lack of effort and the broken promises, not about someone being too busy for a single afternoon hangout.
Back in high school, I was basically going out for coffee every single day, but I'm not really the type of person who needs to be constantly surrounded by people or always initiating every call. Still, those types who completely ghost you? That feels incredibly rude to me. Especially when they resurface after ages acting like nothing happened. I mean, come on—friendship requires maintenance! You aren't obligated to hang out with anyone, obviously, but if you're going to disappear, why bother reaching out later? It just doesn't make sense to me.
I sometimes get this nagging impression that here in America, you practically have to apologize just for being in a good mood. It’s as if you need some monumental, earth-shattering reason to actually smile or show a bit of joy. Honestly, it isn't even the gloomy expressions of others that bother me—it’s that subtle pressure they exert on everyone else. There is this underlying assumption, this constant analysis, that we should all be just as miserable as they are. If we don't immediately start performing sadness to match their vibe, it’s like we're doing something wrong. But shouldn't everyone just live their own life? We don't all share the same desires, the same plans, or the same goals, right? What brings happiness to one person might mean nothing to another, yet some people just can't seem to grasp that our yardsticks for happiness aren't all carved from the same wood.
And look, I'm saying this as someone who—as I've mentioned before—isn't exactly what you'd call an eternal optimist, though I really do try my best to stay positive. I have my bad days just like anyone else, believe me. But when those moments hit, I tend to pull inward rather than walking around with a chip on my shoulder twenty-four hours a day.
Honestly, there are 24 hours in a day—plenty of time to get things done if you actually care. If you value someone, you can easily carve out an hour once a month for a quick coffee or a brief catch-up after work. It’s not like anyone is demanding you spend 24/7 glued to their side! These excuses just feel pathetic to me. Even being in a serious relationship hasn't stopped me from seeing my friends; I still make time to hang out and stay connected.
Then you have those people who just vanish completely. They go radio silent for months, sometimes even years, and then suddenly decide they want to be social again? They try to force themselves back into the lives of everyone they ignored. Where were those priorities before? There is a massive difference between being annoyed because someone missed one coffee date and being constantly sidelined. A true friend makes the effort to reach out as soon as possible rather than letting months slip by. In those cases, people have every right to be angry. Really, there shouldn't be any hard feelings—it’s just a simple matter of "you get what you give." If someone isn't making an effort, you move on and focus your energy on people who actually show up. I can't tell you how many times I've heard people wonder why nobody wants to deal with them anymore, all while failing to realize how poorly they treated everyone else in the first place.
fadedgull42 said:"Almost always?" What, so there are unselfish people out there who ghost you too? But sure, mostly it's just the selfish ones. 😁
Perhaps they’re just being selfless? Maybe they're pouring their entire souls into their partner without a single thought for anyone else. It's that classic "two bodies, one soul" kind of thing, right? Haha.🤣
What really gets under my skin about people like that is when they finally decide to snap out of it—or maybe they just get bored—and suddenly they’re crawling back. They start popping up everywhere, trying to force their way back into the conversation and flooding my inbox with these mindless little messages. It’s almost funny, isn't it? They act as if we all just developed instant amnesia overnight, as if we’ve completely forgotten everything they did before. Do they honestly think things can just go back to exactly how they were? Not a chance.
Thomas Roberts3 said:I feel you, man. There is just way too much toxic energy everywhere you turn. It’s constant. It’s actually getting hard to grab a coffee or hang out with anyone without the conversation turning into a vent session about how terrible everything is. Ran into an old childhood friend yesterday and we just hit it off instantly. It was so refreshing to finally have a chat that didn't revolve around someone being broke, complaining about politics, or whining about needing to move to another state because things are better elsewhere—all the usual garbage I hear every single day. Finally... That was exactly what I needed. Just an hour or two of not talking about soul-crushing stuff. Felt like a total mental reset.
Seriously. Everywhere you turn, there's someone wearing a permanent scowl. Look, who among us actually has it easy? We all have our own struggles, but that doesn't mean we should act like walking clouds of gloom for everyone else. Don't get me wrong, I have my bad days where I'm grumpy or feeling down, but I eventually pull myself together and move on. I don't really know many people who walk around with a constant chip on their shoulder; I prefer those who try to find the light in things. When you're genuinely going through a rough patch, it's that positive person who reaches out to grab a drink and lift your spirits, isn't it? A pessimist would just drag you deeper into the hole.
To be honest, I find people who fake being positive way less aggravating than those constant grumps. It feels like there’s just an overwhelming number of bitter, angry people out there who go out of their way to hunt for flaws in everything. They don't just dwell on their own misery, either; they actively try to convince everyone else that they shouldn't be happy, too—as if being dissatisfied is some kind of virtue.
Now, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't call myself a ray of sunshine all the time, though I certainly make an effort to stay upbeat. But I really do value being surrounded by people with a good outlook. It just feels like there's far too much negativity woven into the fabric of our society these days.
I honestly believe that once someone acts like this, the friendship is effectively over. Sure, you might still run into them occasionally or grab a drink once in a while, but you’ve basically demoted them to "acquaintance" status. You know the type—people who either completely ghost their entire social circle the second they get into a relationship, or they only make a tiny bit of effort as a rare exception. Personally? I don't buy it. It's better to just walk away. If they behave this way now, they’ll just repeat the exact same pattern in their next relationship, too. Why bother being someone's doormat?
I had a friend once where we literally only saw each other twice a year for a quick coffee. And the kicker? Before she started dating her boyfriend, everything was totally fine; we used to hang out all the time and see each other regularly. But those little coffee meetups would just turn into a venting session about how her boyfriend doesn't respect her or how he spends all his time with his buddies while she’s stuck waiting at home. In her mind, since she gave up her own friends for him, he should be doing the same. 🤣 On top of that, she’d constantly ignore my texts or give me these incredibly dismissive, half-hearted replies. There was zero interest on her part, so eventually, I just stopped reaching out. Now, she’s the one trying to pop back into my life, but I’m just not interested anymore. Look, I get it—when you start seeing someone, you naturally spend less time hanging out with your friends. That’s just life. But there is a massive difference between being busy and completely vanishing. I'm talking about people who won't even send a quick text or reply to a message, or who literally disappear for months—even years—as if they’ve dropped off the face of the earth! Honestly, what else can you do? Just wish them the best, let them go, and focus your energy on people who actually value you.
Haha, oh please, let’s not call this jealousy.🤣 I have never once been jealous of guys, let alone the friends of my own friends—not even a little bit. Quite the opposite, actually! I’m simply pointing out how drastic this shift in behavior is. When people are single, they practically live off their social circles; it’s coffee here, lunch there, constant texting... you know the drill. But then they get into a serious relationship and suddenly they act like they don't need anyone else anymore. Look, we don't need to see each other every single day, or even every week, but reaching out once a month, sending a quick text, or grabbing a coffee—that’s just basic maintenance for someone you actually value.
I’ve had seasons where I was absolutely buried—juggling a demanding job while caring for a sick family member, running around in every direction imaginable—and yet, I always made sure to reply kindly to a message. If I couldn't talk right then, I’d just suggest another time. I have never just ignored someone or given them the cold shoulder just because I was "too busy." In my book, that's just not how you treat your friends.
Honestly, there is nothing more exhausting than dealing with people who have two completely different personalities depending on whether they’re single or in a relationship. You know the type? When they’re flying solo, they’re all over you—responding to texts instantly, keeping their word, being incredibly reliable and available whenever you need them. But the second they get into a relationship, suddenly everything changes. They take hours to reply, their messages become short and dismissive, and they act like everyone else is just an inconvenience. Then, once the breakup happens, they flip right back to that first version of themselves and act genuinely shocked when you aren't running back to them the moment they call. It’s a bizarre cycle, isn't it?
It’s almost as if they think they can just drift into some kind of deep winter slumber and wake up whenever it suits them. People aren't light switches that you can just toggle on and off whenever you feel like having them around or pushing them away. At the end of the day, nobody has nothing better to do than wait around for someone who treats presence like an option rather than a commitment.
Hahaha, I ran into this one woman the other day who’s spent months claiming she "just doesn't have the time" for me, and yet, there she was! I actually tried to look the other way, hoping she wouldn't spot me because I just wasn't in the mood for a confrontation right then. But no, she comes charging up, hugging me and kissing my cheeks like we’re supposed to be best friends or something.😵 Then comes the usual nonsense—trying to pin me down for coffee this weekend, talking a mile a minute like she’s been rehearsing a monologue. I gave her a quick goodbye and hopped onto the subway, only to find her following right behind me, sitting down next to me, and just... rambling on.🤦 To top it all off, she sends me a text later asking why I'm being so cold and distant toward her.🤦 Honestly, I just don't get the logic. If you tell someone you're too busy to hang out, that means you aren't interested in spending time together, right? So why go through all the theatrics and empty chatter? It’s honestly just pathetic.👎
Honestly, who even goes out for coffee every single day anymore? I don’t understand why everything on this forum always seems to spiral into these extreme debates! 🙄 Back in high school, I was practically at the local Starbucks every afternoon, but nowadays? I just don't have the energy or the time for those daily social rituals. That said, I would never dream of saying that time spent with friends was wasted. It honestly breaks my heart how some people try to act superior just because they don't spend their afternoons sipping lattes—as if knowing the exact ingredients in every bar of soap makes them somehow more enlightened. Some people grab coffee, some binge Netflix, some just mindlessly scroll through Reddit, and others spend their time worrying about everyone else's business. Everyone spends their downtime however they please, and let’s be real, nobody is discovering a cure for cancer while sitting in a cafe. 🤣
I will always make time for the people who truly matter to me. Maybe it won't be right this second, but I'll definitely reach out to set something up for later. As for people I'm not close with? They aren't going to be calling me constantly, and I certainly don't feel any obligation to go out of my way for them. I simply don't make promises I don't intend to keep, and I don't give people a reason to expect more from me than I can give. It’s really as simple as that.
Look, nobody is under any kind of obligation to give their time to someone else. But let's be real—the other person isn't obligated to keep chasing that connection or maintaining a friendship, either. There’s no hard feelings involved here; it’s just one of those things where people tend to treat others exactly how they're treated.
It’s funny, though, because the very people who claim they're "too busy" always seem to get incredibly offended when they find themselves being brushed off. Life moves on, doesn't it? No one is sitting around waiting for you; people simply move on and find new circles. At the end of the day, no one is indispensable, and the world certainly doesn't revolve around a single individual. 👍 But honestly, why would it bother those who supposedly have no time in the first place if they're too busy to care anyway?! 👏 Personally, if I don't have the bandwidth for someone, I don't expect anything from them—not even a polite hello, let alone a friendship. But it seems like so many people struggle with their egos; they just can't seem to wrap their heads around the fact that they've been sidelined.
Richard Wells said:Look, nobody's out here begging to be someone's top priority. We’ve all got our own lives to run. As long as you're honest and respectful, carving out some decent time for someone is plenty.
I think I phrased myself a bit poorly there—that’s not what I’m expecting either.😁 But let’s be real: if someone can't find the time to reach out for an entire year, and we only manage to grab coffee once or twice a year despite living in the same city, then clearly I'm just not a priority to them anymore. At that point, I simply move on. What I don't understand is why people act so shocked later when you start treating them differently. Honestly, it's such a frustrating cycle, isn't it?
Look, I’m not the type to force myself into anyone's life. If you don't have the time for me, then I'll just step aside, simple as that. But then people act so surprised when my energy shifts and I start treating them differently later on. Honestly, why should I stress? If I'm not a priority to someone, they certainly aren't a priority to me.
I’ve actually gone through those same doubts myself, and honestly, it used to really bother me. But lately? I just don't give those situations a second thought. If I can't find the time to be there for someone, I certainly won't go out of my way to squeeze them in if they suddenly "find" the time for me only when it suits them. At the end of the day, is anyone truly worth chasing down like that? I don't think so.😁It can feel incredibly lonely if you don't have a solid circle of friends around you at that moment, I get that. But isn't it better to just embrace your own company until you find a group that actually fits? It's far better to spend time alone than to spend it begging for scraps of attention from people who aren't making you a priority. If they were genuine friends, they would make the time—everything else is just an excuse.
Honestly, there is nothing more distasteful to me than people who just sit around waiting for their parents to pass away so they can move into the family estate with their spouse and kids.😵 Look, if you’re single, fine—maybe it makes sense. But once you’ve started a family and gotten married, then just hovering around waiting for your folks to kick the bucket so you can take over the house?🙄 It’s completely baffling to me, and frankly, it feels incredibly irresponsible. After all, parents have every right to sell everything and leave nothing behind; they aren't obligated to pass the torch to you. And don't even get me started on the absolute gutter behavior of dragging families through the courts, contesting wills, and fighting over assets. If I ever found myself in a position where I was suing my own kin over an inheritance, I’d be too embarrassed to show my face in public. If they wanted to leave you something, they would have. Personally, I’m an only child, but I don't spend my time dwelling on it or expecting a windfall. I’m focused on building my own life and acquiring my own things from scratch.
Honestly, does every single discussion have to end up blaming Swiss interests? At this rate, we might as well just hand them the keys to the city and build them a monument; it’s no wonder people are starting to develop such a strong aversion toward you all...
As for the banks, there really isn't much of an escape if you're shopping online. You could try using those prepaid vouchers, but then you're just getting hit with massive transaction fees. What's the actual alternative? No matter how you slice it, these predatory types are always looking out for themselves.
silverhawk9 I can't even begin to explain how much this whole situation gets under my skin, but here we go again. Honestly, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve sat here staring at the screen, wondering why on earth anyone would think this was a good idea, I’d probably be retired in Florida by now instead of just sitting here venting to you people. It’s like there's this collective refusal to see the obvious, you know? We’re all standing around watching the same train wreck happen in slow motion, and yet, someone—and I won't point fingers, though we all know who it is—decides that now is the perfect time to double down on the exact thing that caused the mess in the first place. It’s almost impressive, in a deeply frustrating, "why am I even talking about this" kind of way. Anyway, I digress. What was I saying? Right, the sheer absurdity of it all. I mean, obviously you’re going to get the hell away from an abuser. Like, is that even a question? It’s common sense, really, though I guess some people act like it isn't.
Look, you can't exactly just walk away from the situation if it involves the boss lady. I mean, unless she hands you a pink slip or tells you to pack your desk, you're pretty much stuck in that orbit. It’s just how the corporate ladder works here in the States, isn't it? You're basically tethered to her whims until someone officially pulls the plug on your employment.
I mean, honestly, if you listen to what frozenmaker74 was saying earlier, it’s almost like they’re living in a completely different reality than the rest of us, which—don't get me wrong—is a talent in itself, but still. I was sitting there, just minding my own business, sipping on some lukewarm coffee, when I saw that post, and I couldn't help but think about how much we all tend to overcomplicate things. It’s like when you’re trying to fix a leaky faucet in a suburban house outside of Chicago and you end up calling an expensive plumber for something that basically required a single wrench and five minutes of common sense. We do that with everything, don't we? We make life this massive, convoluted obstacle course instead of just walking the path. And then you have people like goldenheron6 chiming in with their theories, and suddenly we've gone from a simple discussion about daily life to a full-blown congressional hearing on why the sky is blue. It gets exhausting, really. I’m just sitting here, probably being too dramatic, but sometimes you just have to step back and realize that most of the noise we deal with is just... noise. Just unnecessary static in an already loud world.
Look, it’s honestly pretty much impossible to just completely shut someone out without feeling like you're losing your mind a little bit. I mean, there is a massive, gaping difference between just choosing not to react and actually trying to go totally cold turkey on a person while you're simultaneously white-knuckling it through all that internal turmoil. It’s not the same thing at all—one is peace, and the other is just a slow-motion mental breakdown happening entirely behind your own eyes.
Sure, I mean, technically you're right on the money there, but the real kicker is the "how" of it all. Just saying you want to "smooth things over" sounds great on paper—it’s a lovely sentiment that could probably open up any locked door if you play your cards right—but at the end of the day, you actually have to step up and say it. You can't just sit there wishing for a better outcome; you've got to actually find the guts to vocalize it.
Honestly, that’s a whole different ballgame and doesn't really have anything to do with what we're talking about right now. (I mean, theoretically, there’s a connection somewhere in there, but I’d better just keep my mouth shut before I spiral into a massive tangent.) Honestly, I find it a little weird that you’re out here throwing around terms like "black empathy," but hey, whatever floats your boat, I guess. ☕
Quincy:
Look, I’m not one to go shouting from the rooftops about every little shift in the wind, but we really need to talk about this whole idea of radical change because, honestly, it feels like we’re all just spinning our wheels in a massive, unorganized mud pit. You know that feeling when you wake up, grab your coffee—mine’s usually a burnt mess from a local diner that definitely doesn't follow health codes—and you realize that everything you thought was set in stone is actually just shifting sand? That’s where we are. It’s like when my car decides to give up the ghost right in the middle of a busy intersection in Chicago; suddenly, the entire landscape looks different, much more chaotic, and you’re left standing there wondering why you ever trusted a machine to be reliable. We keep hearing these big, sweeping promises about fundamental shifts in how things work, whether it's in politics or just the way we interact with technology, and I can't help but feel a bit skeptical, or maybe just exhausted by the sheer velocity of it all. People love to throw around terms like "disruption" as if it’s some kind of holy grail, but most of the time, it just feels like someone decided to rearrange all the furniture in your house while you were sleeping, leaving you to trip over a coffee table in the dark. Is it necessary? Maybe. Is it going to be a total headache? Absolutely. I mean, don't get me wrong, progress is fine and dandy, but I think we sometimes forget that tearing everything down just to build something slightly shinier isn't always the smartest move if the foundation was already cracking. It’s a lot to process, and frankly, I might need another cup of that terrible diner coffee before I can wrap my head around the implications of it all. kaže: It’s like you’re just completely ignoring who you actually are at your core, right? You end up just putting on this massive, exhausting performance of being cold and detached—basically acting out some version of yourself that doesn't even exist—just so you can suppress everything you're feeling and live in total opposition to your own damn soul.
Look, you made some really solid points there about self-confidence, and honestly, I’m right there with you on that, but because of that exact reason, I think what you said above is a little off—though, I'll give you credit, in the specific context you were using, it might actually hold water. You don't necessarily have to put on an act of being cold if you can just actually achieve that state naturally. A person who truly carries themselves with confidence is going to state their opinion, plain and simple, and then they're just going to sit there through all the inevitable, frantic hysterics that follow without breaking a sweat, mostly because they know they're right. Once that's done, I just don't see much room for anyone to keep throwing punches at someone who's genuinely cool.
Actually, it does relate, because this kind of behavior is uniquely characteristic of narcissists within marriages. Most of us tend to develop hatred or intolerance toward people who mistreat us. I mean, when someone is being cruel to you, you aren't exactly going to love them, right?🙄, though clearly, the individuals mentioned here do, which is why I noted that such cases are the exception to the rule.😛
As for the author, you really need to start loving yourself and putting your own needs first. You have to stand up for yourself. I used to be just like you, but I'm making progress and fighting for my own well-being. It doesn't matter if some insignificant nobodies comment that I'm a narcissist or arrogant or whatever else. Don't ever let them walk all over you.👍 My advice? Don't engage in any personal drama with her. Just get your work done and act as if she doesn't even exist. No personal stories, no small talk—nothing.
It’s common sense, really—you either walk away from an abuser and cut them out of your life entirely, or you stand your ground and face them head-on. Anything in between is just pure masochism! Why on earth would anyone feel any sort of empathy for people like that? Do abusers ever show even a shred of empathy toward their victims? It’s a question that haunts me. I see it happen too often with women whose husbands are abusive; they stay, they cling to these outdated notions of love, and they scramble to find any excuse to justify the inexcusable. But honestly, that’s a whole different conversation, and frankly, it’s a logic that remains completely incomprehensible to anyone else but them.