urbanraven69 said:I’m kind of with silverhawk9 on this one... I honestly don't get why people feel the need to do that, you know? Like, what are they actually hoping to achieve by asking those kinds of questions? I mean, I get that if someone is really confident in themselves, maybe they see me as being a bit different, or just... not their cup of tea. But still—why even ask? It’s not like I go up to someone with blue eyes and go, "Hey, why are your eyes blue?" You’re just born that way, I guess. That's just how it is. 😛 I was just born the way I am—and yeah, maybe over time things have become even more pronounced, and maybe everything has drifted a little bit in the wrong direction... but I just don't understand why people act so shocked by someone's actual personality. To be totally honest, it actually hurts. It just reminds me of my own flaws, and it feels like throwing salt in a wound... it just sends me into an even deeper funk, where I lose all motivation to even try and change... because then I start thinking it’s impossible, and that I’ll just always be stuck like this.
I know exactly how you feel. I used to be the exact same way—not quite as much now, but I've been through the whole ringer. For me, the absolute worst part was when I’d finally settle into a group, let my guard down, and then some acquaintance would chime in with a comment like, "Whoa, look at her, she actually has an opinion!" It is the literal definition of rubbing salt in a wound.👎 Even back in high school, getting picked on like that—even by teachers, which is just awful—could completely ruin my entire day and leave me feeling totally defeated.
At the end of the day, everyone has free will. If someone doesn't mesh with your vibe—whether they're quiet, outgoing, guarded, shy, or whatever else—you can just choose not to hang out with them. It’s that simple. You just move on; you don't need to play amateur psychologist. Looking back at that thread about introverts versus extroverts, there was even someone asking how to "make" a girl more extroverted. Honestly, if you don't like who she is, why are you even with her?🤦 I just can't wrap my head around people and their behavior. I think I'll just stick to hanging out with and dating people who are similar to me, rather than someone who just irritates me.
Look, if someone actually has good intentions, they’d handle things the way I suggested—by showing they truly care. They would try to put the other person at ease rather than constantly shoving their flaws in their face with comments like, "you're just this" or "you're always that." Honestly, that's just low. It feels like tact is becoming a lost art these days, doesn't it? People seem to use this excuse of being "brutally honest" to justify a complete lack of grace, all while hiding thinly veiled insults behind a veneer of sincerity.
But hey, even if someone does slip up out of pure kindness or just because they have a bit of a loose tongue, you should know there’s nothing worse than saying something like that to a sensitive soul. And don't be shocked when they start avoiding you. Why would they? They just don't feel comfortable being around you anymore.
In my opinion, this is just a textbook case of putting someone down.👎 A truly well-meaning person would never sit there and analyze you by asking, "Why are you so quiet?" or "Why are you being so shy?"—especially not in front of an audience where the obvious goal is just to humiliate and embarrass you. I know because I've been on the receiving end of it myself, and let me tell you, I could see the sheer malice and spite written all over their faces. It was honestly revolting. If you actually care about someone, shouldn't you try to make them feel comfortable? You should encourage them to open up and help them overcome that shyness, or better yet, just leave them be. To me, asking "why are you so quiet" is one of the most tactless things a person can do. I pride myself on being quite a tactful person, so I have a real allergy to that kind of behavior, whether it's directed at me or someone else.
Morgan Fox6 said:The real issue is that other people just don't see that bond you think you have with them, so... I guess you’d actually have to put in the work there. If you look at it this way. Say you run this little experiment—like a year-long study—with an introvert, an extrovert, and one totally neutral person. So, you basically have this tiny social circle... The introvert ends up doing everything just to help that neutral person out, while the extrovert is basically just using them. After a year goes by, that neutral person has to make a choice about who to kick out of the group. And they’re gonna ditch the introvert.
Then, you get that reaction from the introvert—which might look like hate, or frustration, or maybe just being ungrateful, etc. Because, honestly, for that neutral person, there was never really a deep, emotional, human connection with the introvert. To that neutral person, the extrovert was the one providing "protection" through the social group, whereas the introvert just kind of stayed in their own shell, even though they were working entirely in the neutral person's interest.
See, the introvert doesn't really satisfy those secondary life needs for the neutral person. Even if, in my little imaginary experiment here, they technically provide them, they aren't *fulfilling* them the way the extrovert does.
So, I guess you either need to start hanging out with people who are on your same "mental level," or you just have to start putting more effort into others. Then that feeling that the whole world is out to get you might just... disappear.
Now, that’s true to a point, but let’s be clear: that applies to shy people, not introverts. There is a massive distinction there.😁 Shy individuals actually crave companionship; most of them dream of having a larger social circle, but they pull back because they're terrified of social situations or the embarrassment of messing up.
You can't compare that to introverts, who choose isolation by their own volition. Honestly, introverts are often to blame for not being "popular," but they couldn't care less. Shy people, however, desperately want to socialize but are paralyzed by fear—those are two completely different beasts. That constant, exhausting cycle of analyzing how everyone perceives you and trying (unsuccessfully) to be liked is exactly what triggers frustration. It’s why they are often mislabeled as rude or arrogant, when really, it’s just a defense mechanism. Social phobia and shyness are frequently lumped in with introversion, and frankly, it’s a total mistake...
I’d personally cast my vote for The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, though I have to admit, Final Destination is also a solid choice.👍 Honestly, the Wrong Turn movies completely ruined the vibe for me—especially that last one, which felt more like a cheap adult film than an actual horror movie.🤣 I really don't get why they keep churning out these sequels.
Sarah Morris57 said:I mean, when it comes to those whole anti-money laundering checks, they aren't even looking at whether I'm married or not... totally irrelevant, right?
I mean, we all know how much Americans love to gossip about their relationships and marriages, so maybe they just threw that question in there to satisfy our curiosity?🙏 Just kidding! I was over in Vegas recently and nobody asked me a single thing about my personal life... But honestly, isn't marital status a bit too private for an account application? If you aren't even looking for an overdraft or a credit card, why should the bank care about your domestic situation? Besides, most banks already ask about your marital status when you apply for a line of credit anyway...
He was basically just trying to brag to us about having a girlfriend, but honestly, why on earth would a banker at Chase care about her Social Security number?🙄 I mean, let’s use a little common sense here, shall we? They probably just ask if you're married or not, and those three extra questions regarding citizenship, political affiliation, or a Green Card aren't exactly the scary monsters people are making them out to be. If that's all they're asking, I really don't see what the big fuss is about! Anyway, I'm actually heading out to open a new checking account in a few days, so I'll be sure to swing back by here and give you all a full report on exactly what they ask me...
Chris Chase5 said:At the end of the day, lending money is a bank's core business, and they take on the risk of default every single time they issue a loan. When they ask you questions, it isn't because they’re being nosy; it’s about building a solid risk profile. It’s just much more likely that someone with a steady, high income or someone buying a home they actually intend to live in will follow through on their payments...
According to some statistical studies, married individuals tend to be more financially responsible than single people, and things like that. Personally, I think it's better to just provide the information requested, especially since being transparent might actually help you land better terms down the road.
Plus, they are legally obligated to gather as much data as possible to prevent money laundering and terrorism financing. Honestly, that part always makes me chuckle—people looking to move illicit funds aren't exactly standing in line at a local Chase branch waiting for a teller to help them out. 😁
Your logic is a bit off here; banks aren't trying to be nosy, and they certainly aren't the Gestapo...😁
Banks and credit: the ultimate lifesavers for failing marriages, right? Together until the very last payment. 😍 Just kidding, but really... 😍 You can argue that married folks are more reliable, but look at those with modest incomes and several children—there are far too many of them out there. A single person doesn't have the same financial burdens of supporting others, which arguably makes them a more credible bet for repayment!
Generally speaking, I assume they only ask those specific questions if you're applying for an overdraft or a loan, not when you're simply opening a standard checking account. When you request a basic account, you usually only fill out details regarding your employer or marital status if you're seeking credit; at least, that's how I experienced it at the Federal Reserve... Personally, I wouldn't bother answering those questions since I have no interest in overdrafts or loans—I don't owe them anything. But if you're someone looking to borrow, well, that’s a different story entirely.
It all comes down to the fact that people can be incredibly spiteful and malicious; they just love tearing others down to make themselves feel superior. Honestly, that’s exactly why I’ve distanced myself from certain parts of my extended family. When you have people in your life who choose to belittle you instead of cheering you on toward your goals, those aren't friends—they're anchors. You have to cut that toxicity out, find your own path, and put all that energy into believing in yourself and your dreams.
Whenever I hear that someone is looking to pivot careers, go back to school, or pursue a new passion, it genuinely warms my heart. I’m always rooting for them! Just keep moving forward.👍
Donna Taylor68 said:My bad. Wasn't trying to act all high and mighty here. I just looked at this thread and saw a massive pile of haters attacking anyone talking about kids or parenting—honestly, some of those posts sounded like they were written by toddlers—so I figured I’d offer a different perspective to keep things civil. At the end of the day, for some people, staying childless is actually the better move. Not because of them, but for the sake of the kids.
Later. 👋I stopped caring about these forum fights a long time ago.
Honestly, my favorite kind of people are those who genuinely believe everyone is just one conversation away from changing their mind about having kids. It’s such a fascinatingly optimistic outlook! Take her, for example—she wasn't even considering motherhood at all, but then along comes Don Juan with his sudden burst of enlightenment, and suddenly everything changes. Isn't it funny how that works?🤦She finally made up her mind to have a baby, and now suddenly she feels the need to broadcast that decision to the entire world? It’s like she expects everyone to fall in line with her choice, or else we’re all just "child haters" or some other ridiculous label. Honestly, how can you even respond to that kind of logic? It's just exhausting, isn't it?🙄... And then they throw in that subtle little jab, acting like they aren't being superior by tacking on that malicious smiley face at the end. You know what I mean? It’s such a classic move... you can almost see exactly what they're thinking, can't you? 👋👋👋
Honestly, when it comes to those people who constantly nag you about whether you’re going to get married or have kids, my advice is simple: just cut them out. Why even give them the headspace? If they can't respect the life choices you've made, they don't deserve a seat at your table. It really isn't worth the stress, is it? Seriously, why bother getting worked up over people who clearly don't value your autonomy? Just remove that negativity from your life and move on.
Honestly, I just can’t wrap my head around people who are desperate to have kids, yet feel the need to drift over to these specific threads to lecture everyone else. They have an entire dedicated parenting subforum at their fingertips—literally a whole community of people just like them—so why bother coming here? Do the childfree folks ever wander over to the parenting boards just to tell everyone how much they hate children? Of course not. It’s just not how it works.😁
And then, predictably, they start acting all high and mighty about "bitterness." I mean, really, who is actually bitter here? It feels like they’re obsessed with the childfree crowd, lurking in our spaces just so they can chime in with their sermons about how children are "blessings from above" or whatever. Look, that’s a lovely sentiment, truly, but you’re having kids for *you*, not for me. If you want to have fifteen children, go right ahead—more than can handle, really—but leave the rest of us alone. Everyone is entitled to different paths in life, isn't that obvious enough?
Neki? Honestly, I think almost everyone is giving in. Just look at this whole social media craze—everyone has a profile, everyone’s hitting "like," posting pictures, crafting these faux statuses... yet most people never even meet up or share any real affection. They're just performing. To me, that's the ultimate proof of how much people cave when they feel the pressure of society.
In a way, I actually find myself a little envious of them. It’s such an easy way to live, isn't it? You get to satisfy your basic needs while simply blending into the herd. It's certainly much easier than the alternative... heaven forbid you actually try to be yourself.🙄...
I honestly feel like a lot of people in this thread are conflating being polite with being pushy, but those two things are worlds apart. Being intrusive is a completely different beast altogether. I actually dealt with a situation like this once where someone kept trying to force a new career path on me; I explained, over and over again, that I already had a job and was perfectly happy where I was, but they just wouldn't listen. No matter how many times I said no, they were hell-bent on "finding me a better position" within their own company.🙄
Jeffrey Fisher5 said:If this friend wasn't expecting a gift from you in the first place, she might have simply been caught off guard—surprised, even—and her reaction may have had nothing to do with what you perceived. However, if she failed to respond with even a modicum of decency, then that isn't a reflection of your character, but rather hers. Don't waste your energy overthinking it. You certainly won't be buying her anything ever again... though that shouldn't stop you from being generous toward others if that's just who you are. The entire issue here hinges on excessive politeness, not simple, everyday courtesy.
Personally, I'm the type of person who loves giving even a small token to my friends on their birthdays. I never expect anything in return, nor do I keep a mental tally of who owes me what. But honestly, when I look back at how she reacted, I can't help but feel like she thought I was trying to buy her friendship. I've kept some distance since then because I never want things to feel transactional like that. It feels like no matter what I do, it's somehow wrong.😢😢
Jerry Ramos90 said:I agree. I'm not a fan of extremes, including people losing their cool like that. But don't you think those overly polite types—the ones you don't actually know well—can be just as annoying with that constant, forced enthusiasm? 😁
To me, that's much more tolerable than dealing with someone who's perpetually pissed off.
When I gave my "friend" a little something for her birthday last time, she looked at me like I’d just handed her a bag of trash. Honestly, it was such a look—like she was thinking, "Oh, look at her putting on a performance." It really makes you lose faith in people sometimes, doesn't it? It feels like the better you treat someone, the worse they decide to act toward you. I’ve always had a low tolerance for anything forced or fake, and I can't stand when people are being overly performative, but there's a huge difference between being insincere and simply offering a genuine gesture of kindness. To me, judging a kind act as mere "acting" is just wrong.
It honestly drives me up the wall when people take their anger out on someone who didn't do a single thing wrong. You know the type—someone gets ticked off by some random stranger halfway across town, and then they turn around and dump all that negativity right on you. It’s just so incredibly distasteful. Wouldn't it be much better if they just channeled that energy into being kind or helpful instead? Honestly, people with that kind of temper would be much better off sticking to acting polite rather than constantly harassing everyone around them just to show off their "true colors."
I have such an affinity for kind-hearted people—those folks who actually go out of their way to say hello, strike up a conversation, or offer a helping hand. They have this way of making you feel relaxed and genuinely friendly, and I always find myself wanting to be around people like that.🙂
Honestly, they don’t bother me at all; in fact, I actually love them. In a sea of perpetually pissed-off people who look like they’d grab an axe and start swinging over the slightest inconvenience, these folks are such a breath of fresh air. Now, I wouldn't exactly go out of my way to call myself the pinnacle of politeness, but looking at the state of things lately, I think I’m doing just fine. It feels like everyone is on edge these days—you see it in hospital waiting rooms, standing in line at the DMV, riding the subway, or even just waiting at a local Chase branch. The second a line gets a little long at the post office, the faces turn sour, the complaining starts, and the tension spikes. I just don't get it... what is everyone so worked up about? 😕
It’s because they’re terrified of being outsiders or outcasts. They can't handle being the "different" one, so they struggle to find real friends and just end up drifting. I actually witnessed this exact transformation during my last friendship; I watched someone go from having actual convictions and a backbone to becoming a total carbon copy of whoever they were dating, just to fit in. Honestly, it feels so slimy, doesn't it? But then again, you can't force people to change who they are.
I mean, just take a look at Facebook—the sheer amount of superficiality there is staggering. You see people who haven't spoken in years, let alone seen each other, constantly liking photos and playing pretend at being close friends simply because that's the social script everyone follows. 🙄 Everything is just filled with clones...