The whole family is just feeling incredibly grateful for the extra time we got—both for her and for us. Sounds crazy, I know, but honestly, we couldn't have asked for a better outcome given the circumstances.
I’m just glad I actually realized how much she meant to me while she was still present enough to hear it. She was one of those rare souls who never had a selfish bone in her body—not a single bad thought or complaint, even at the end. She spent every waking moment looking out for everyone else, especially Dad, my brother, and me. She lived for our peace of mind.
Her heart was just too big for words—it feels almost cliché trying to describe it. During this whole brutal stretch, there were times when I felt completely paralyzed, just totally overwhelmed by the sheer strength and love she radiated.
What a beautiful soul. Fly high... fly far. Love you.
hiddensailor14 said:Are you actually sure this thing is "functional"? Or is it just some cheap knockoff meant for wall decor? I'm talking about the blade snapping or the handle staying in your hand while the metal flies off somewhere.😉
It's pretty solid, though—just dull. This isn't a "professional" grade 😁 sword, not even close. Doesn't really matter, though—it works fine for solo practice if you want to switch things up.
Jeremy Evans80 said:Not ideal for actual cutting or sparring, but fine for kata or just messing around. D
Yeah, it's perfectly fine for solo drills. 👍 Definitely not planning on taking it out on anyone else. 😁
Mine cost me about $100 and honestly, it gets the job done just fine. The only real headache is the weight. I actually picked it up as a gift from some souvenir shop back in the day.
Sure, intuition counts as a form of knowledge. But try asking someone who made a gut decision to actually explain their reasoning. It’s never gonna 😁
On the flip side, I agree you’ve gotta find some kind of middle ground. Sometimes if you get too bogged down in all the data and "deep insights," you just end up paralyzed—too busy thinking to actually 😁 start doing anything about it.
Plus, look—both dragon and I are total UFO enthusiasts. You really think we spend our time overanalyzing where we're headed? 😂
Jesse Allen2 said:An example is just an example. It isn't inherently good or bad; it's just meant to illustrate a point. 😉 Look at it this way: if you charge into a boxing match without having any clue what you're even fighting for, you aren't going to get very far. 🤷
I just went with my gut, and I know I made the right call. 😍 I didn't exactly have a roadmap of what I was looking for at first, but things are finally starting to click. 🙂 Since everything is playing out exactly how—for lack of a better word—it "should," 🙂
Jesse Allen2 said:I disagree. To me, it is a guarantee. If something is going to reach its absolute peak, you usually see the potential for that right from the start.
That scenario doesn't exist. That’s exactly where the difference lies.
Hold up, what are you actually getting at? Are you saying that unless someone (me, or anyone else) dives in emotionally, they can never truly experience sex? Or did I totally miss the mark? Since we’re already talking about sex 😁 we might as well loop back to the original topic...
Jesse Allen2 said:That’s exactly what I meant when I said it’s usually the case for most people.
Honestly, tolerance isn't really my thing, nor is "different paths." Feel free to think whatever you want, keep writing, and follow whatever road you choose—that’s about all I have to say on the matter. 🤷👍
The point is—having some emotionless first encounter doesn't mean things won't turn into something incredible later on, or that you won't eventually get swept up in it.
Then you've got the other side—someone where the connection is there from the jump. And they end up enjoying it just as much. So, honestly... what's the real difference?
Jesse Allen2 said:"Some"? I think you mean most. So many people start acting loving when there isn't a shred of actual emotion behind it. Most of them! 😢
My first time? Honestly, it was pretty underwhelming. Total dud. Of course, things didn't keep going like that. Not even close.
Look, you’re an aikidoka—you should probably have a bit more tolerance for the fact that everyone's walking a different path, right?
Jesse Allen2, some people just dive in headfirst before they even realize what's happening—then others actually wrap their heads around it before making a move. 🙂 We aren't cut from the same cloth.
bluemason3 said:Man, what a load of nonsense... actually, whatever. 😁
Edit: Honestly, I’d love to take all these "fluffy-do-whatever-they-want" world warriors and drop them into a real, old-school battlefield from before the Tokugav era... you know, the kind with sliced guts, spilled intestines, severed limbs, and blood everywhere. Just total carnage and the stench of death. Maybe then they could get spiritual and knit their little aikido patterns. 😈
Man, there are plenty of samurai out there for that sort of thing. 😁 And you really think there aren't enough people ready to charge headfirst into a meat grinder tomorrow? Especially in this country.
Does any of that actually matter in the grand scheme of things? 😳
Fine, I’ll play along. Based on what you just said, I guess I’d define myself as being part of the traditional Aikikai school because that’s the club I train with.
And you? You’d probably claim you belong to Katsuya Tohei's Ki Aikido clan.
And now what? What's the next big question? 🙂
Man, clans. Give me a break. 😁 There aren't any clans—I'm on everyone's side here. Just saying. 🙏
Paul Campbell3 said:That's pretty much my take on it too—why highlight the KI component of something that already fundamentally includes it? 🙂
There's only one founder of Aikido, O'Sensei Morihei Ueshiba, and as far as I know, the man was a master of Shinkage Ryu Ju Jutsu and originally a top-tier warrior and expert in several martial arts. 👍
At one point, he couldn't reconcile two things: the damage martial arts can inflict on another human being versus his own deep desire to establish peace and harmony among all people. Originally, his path was that of a warrior, and he thought his internal longing for peace and harmony stood in direct opposition to that life.
There's this story: once during an argument, he got into a confrontation with an Englishman who pulled a sword and tried to stab him. He successfully evaded him until the guy finally gave up, completely exhausted.
That's when O'Sensei realized (he had an epiphany 😬) that maybe what seemed irreconcilable at first—aggression and the attacking styles found in many Japanese arts vs. universal love—was actually perfectly compatible. 🙂
And that's how Aikido was born—the practice of mind and body and, as jademarlin26 puts it, the path toward unification, ultimately uniting the individual with the entire universe.
It’s not about hyping up the energy—it’s more like knowing how to actually weaponize it, if you want to get technical. Softer. The way.
Paul Campbell3 said:That's pretty much my take on it too—why highlight the KI component of something that already fundamentally includes it? 🙂
There's only one founder of Aikido, O'Sensei Morihei Ueshiba, and as far as I know, the man was a master of Shinkage Ryu Ju Jutsu and originally a top-tier warrior and expert in several martial arts. 👍
At one point, he couldn't reconcile two things: the damage martial arts can inflict on another human being versus his own deep desire to establish peace and harmony among all people. Originally, his path was that of a warrior, and he thought his internal longing for peace and harmony stood in direct opposition to that life.
There's this story: once during an argument, he got into a confrontation with an Englishman who pulled a sword and tried to stab him. He successfully evaded him until the guy finally gave up, completely exhausted.
That's when O'Sensei realized (he had an epiphany 😬) that maybe what seemed irreconcilable at first—aggression and the attacking styles found in many Japanese arts vs. universal love—was actually perfectly compatible. 🙂
And that's how Aikido was born—the practice of mind and body and, as jademarlin26 puts it, the path toward unification, ultimately uniting the individual with the entire universe.
Being a warrior is really more about self-improvement—it doesn’t even have to be violent, actually. A fighter's path? That’s mostly just violence. There's a massive difference.
Paul Campbell3 said:That's pretty much my take on it too—why highlight the KI component of something that already fundamentally includes it? 🙂
There's only one founder of Aikido, O'Sensei Morihei Ueshiba, and as far as I know, the man was a master of Shinkage Ryu Ju Jutsu and originally a top-tier warrior and expert in several martial arts. 👍
At one point, he couldn't reconcile two things: the damage martial arts can inflict on another human being versus his own deep desire to establish peace and harmony among all people. Originally, his path was that of a warrior, and he thought his internal longing for peace and harmony stood in direct opposition to that life.
There's this story: once during an argument, he got into a confrontation with an Englishman who pulled a sword and tried to stab him. He successfully evaded him until the guy finally gave up, completely exhausted.
That's when O'Sensei realized (he had an epiphany 😬) that maybe what seemed irreconcilable at first—aggression and the attacking styles found in many Japanese arts vs. universal love—was actually perfectly compatible. 🙂
And that's how Aikido was born—the practice of mind and body and, as jademarlin26 puts it, the path toward unification, ultimately uniting the individual with the entire universe.
Yeah, I'm with you on that. 👍 I’d throw in "defensive" too. But honestly? What aikido actually teaches you goes way beyond that—it’s really about moving past the whole concept of attack versus defense entirely. You can't reach that level without mastering both first, though—you gotta grind through the techniques to get there. 🙂
Mom's condition took a turn for the worse today. Dad and I showed up for a standard visit, only to find out she’d been hit with some emergency interventions this morning. Fever spiked, things went sideways—honestly, I don't even know half of it. The nurse pulled us aside later and admitted she thought it was over. But, they pulled it off. She's actually keeping fluids down, sipping soup, even managed some pudding. They've got her on oxygen and she's mostly just drifting. Talking is getting harder for her, though. She's still lucid, for now. Dad already called for a priest, since that’s what she asked for about a month ago back when she was doing okay.
I feel for Dad. I think he's just waiting for his own breaking point.
Reading through your posts makes things a little easier to handle—honestly, it’s all 🙂 Thanks, truly, 🙂
She should be getting discharged from the hospital soon, at least that's the vibe we're getting. We already scouted out an alternative place for her to stay—she’s going to love it there, and it'll actually make it possible for us to get some decent quality time in with her...
Yeah, I hugged her. I held her tight, told her she was my everything and the absolute best—and I’ll say it a million more times if I have to. It feels stupid even typing this out, though... it sounds so damn cliché.
Thanks, guys. 🙂
More than anything, I just want her to know she was incredible—that she did a hell of a job in this life. Anyone who crossed paths with her felt blessed. She was the kind of soul who gave everything to everyone else without asking for a single thing in return, while the rest of us—well, we were just selfish assholes because we actually had the luxury to be. But she didn't see it that way. Even now, she's probably stuck in those thoughts, thinking she wasn't enough or didn't do enough. I just need her to know she was the best, and everything she did was perfect...
They say people turn ugly during times like this—get mean, get bitter. But her? She's still just my sweet girl. 🙂
Today just absolutely wrecked me 😢 I knew this moment was coming eventually. And here we are. My mom's roommate moved out, so I ended up staying over at her place a bit longer. And I just snapped—started sobbing, everything hitting me at once. I couldn't keep up that cold front I’ve been maintaining for the last two months. She hugged me, and I just broke down even harder. She’s so small now, honestly like a child, yet still so incredibly caring. It’s like those meds sucked all the fear and anxiety right out of her, leaving nothing but who she truly is: this beautiful, nurturing soul who isn't even fully aware of her own situation—she’s too busy worrying about everyone else, about her brother, about me... So there I am, crying silently so she won't see, just holding her, and she keeps telling me what an amazing kid I am and how lucky she is to have me. I completely lost it, damn it all. I could have been such a better daughter. I should have seen the *real* HER, seen her true essence, fought with her less, hugged her more, and just told her the truth—how much I LOVE her and how incredible I think she is.
And she doesn't hold a single grudge. She doesn't remember the bad stuff; she just wants me to be okay. Life is brutal. My sweet girl, my everything... 😢
They rushed Mom to the hospital.. On one hand, we’re relieved she’s being looked after, but on the other—it definitely doesn't feel great.😢 Tomorrow, Dad is going to head down there and try to talk them into some extra visiting hours, since they've tightened up the rules.