So, this morning, after years of avoiding it, I actually decided to take the city bus. It gave me a prime opportunity to observe some younger ladies trying their absolute best to stay upright while the driver hits every single pothole and speed bump on the road 👍 Then I headed down to the local fish market to get into a heated debate with an old vendor because the fish looked questionable. "Sir, how on earth can you charge that much for a sea bass that looks like it's been staring at the ceiling with bugged-out eyes and covered in flies?" I asked him "Lady, all the fish came in fresh this morning, and those flies? That's just part of life, they're everywhere," the old guy replied. "Listen, sir, don't make me slap this bag open and watch all those flies relocate from your sea bass to your face in a heartbeat," I shot back. He just burst out laughing and said, "Fine, fine, you deserve a discount on the sea bass then" Afterward, I went back to wait for the bus, and wouldn't you know it, someone starts shouting, "neoncrane64, holy crap, is that really you?" Some new jerk was standing at the bus stop, and there I was, running into Dr. Frank, a heart surgeon I used to know. He says, "You won't believe it, I'm on call today, and my nurse is doing a killer job. Let's grab a roasted sea bass and head straight to the ICU!" He ended up grabbing the very sea bass that probably needed immediate surgery or it would have been gone for good, and he told me, "I haven't seen you since last week..." So, there I was, waiting for the bus again, thinking about what a beautiful life it is here in America when everything comes together like this—honestly, I wouldn't trade it for sixty thousand dollars on Wall Street ☕
I’m not being shady, I was just tied up over in the States, and while I was at it, I ended up selling my yacht—though it didn't actually go through until Oliver gave me the word from Bing, and his brother is currently serving time in federal prison...
Anyway, I can barely find my own corner here, and I feel like I'm about to lose whatever little ground I have left 🤦 Besides, happy May Day to everyone, hope you're all enjoying some skin and... 🥱
Happy Easter to all the big shots running this place—the super moderators, the regular mods, and all those assistant mods too, 🤔 plus the deputies, all you forum regulars, and every single creature living in the local zoos or wandering outside: the lambs, the dogs, the cats, the lions, the elephants, the zebras, the tigers, the penguins, the snakes, the lizards, the crocodiles, the chickens, the turkeys, the ostriches, the cabinet members, the centipedes, the millipedes, the seagulls, the dolphins, the piglets, the geese, the ducks, the squid, and the horses, courtesy of neoncrane64. 👋
Look, buddy, I really appreciate you bringing our attention to your incredibly "sensible" cost-cutting measures. 👍 It’s clear to me that you're quite the expert on nightlife; honestly, who else would be such a lone sheep among all the other species out there? 👍 Earthly creatures are generally much larger and more comfortable than us, and it's never easy to force certain ideas into someone's head. ☕ I just hope that the club-goers reading your brilliant little manifesto realize how they ought to behave in American nightlife, because if they do, you might actually end up being a great advertisement for our government to implement similar austerity measures across all federal agencies. ☕
cosmicsailor63 said:Listen, man, neoncrane64, I actually had this dream about those blown-out speakers making a massive racket—do you think I should go ahead and vent about what went down with my car yesterday? 🤦
Look, buddy, it would be an absolute honor if you’d share your story here in this corner of the forum. 👍
Look, my friend, getting that notification is honestly one of my favorite moments on this entire forum 👍. I can practically feel my blood pressure spiking like a heat-seeking missile the second I see it pop up, all that anticipation building until I finally go to check—only to be met with the usual: "You have received an infraction." 🙈 It’s just as delightful as being cut off by a screaming drill sergeant right when I’m finally settling in to relax and watch some beach volleyball. 🤦
"Night Owl" says it's "simply incredible." I honestly have a feeling this whole thing is just going to turn into a massive slideshow of naked girls. 🤔 Everyone seems to think I’m just messing around when I talk about quoting Tex Wheeler, but you guys seriously have no clue how useful citing text can be. Look at this example:
Last summer... I headed out to Miami Beach. I always make sure to plant my umbrella firmly so I stay in the shade and can nap comfortably, waking up only when the sun hits me, while my girlfriend dives into the water. 🤦 That really ticked me off, and I think I’ve finally learned my lesson. 🤔 And 🙂 get this—I had this dream that I was just like Tex Wheeler, always carrying two revolvers. So, one day I went to the store and bought an extra umbrella; now I’ve got two. 👍 So there we are, back at the beach with two umbrellas. My girl plants her umbrella right by the shoreline, and I set mine up about ten feet away from her. "And run off over there so you can watch the women in peace," she tells me. "What kind of women are you talking about? I'm worried some wave is gonna soak me," I say. "Just relax a little," she says, adjusting herself so she could almost touch the water with her feet. I’m sitting there up ahead, starting to read "Manhunt" around page 58, when I see a massive ship passing by in the distance. I glance down, and my girlfriend is diving headfirst into the surf; she was practically begging to be woken up. Ten minutes later, a mini-tsunami rolls in and sweeps her away, nearly drowning her. I just look at her and say, "Well, I did warn you." She started screaming at me like it was actually my fault that she got soaked! 🤦 She was so furious she ended up tearing my book apart, so now I have to go back to the convenience store to buy a new one. 🤦
neoncrane64 said:I’ve basically dedicated this entire corner of the thread to just sitting here and waiting for someone to finally pull the trigger on some new slot game, 😉 and look, they don't need to be completely stripped down—it doesn't have to be a total scandal—but they could at least throw 🤔 a little teaser or a tiny hint about where things are headed strategically 👍
...honestly, I'm just sitting here all day waiting for them to drop something so we can finally kick off the season.🍿
After I finished sorting through that mountain of paperwork, I headed back to my office on Wall Street. Just as I sat down, my desk phone started ringing. "Excuse me, sir, Donald Trump is on the line," the secretary tells me. "Just hook it up," Velin says. "Man, neoncrane64, you seriously bailed on us this past weekend? Not even a single word from you, and now you're already halfway to the States," says Trump. "Where's Trump? Tell me what's up with that old fraud, I'll get back to you, but I was tied up." - velin "Man, you can't even walk through the front door like you used to; what's with the guard acting all high and mighty?" says briskbison55. Look, I don't even need to worry about you—my cousin Fran is actually a security guard over there. Anyway, what have you been up to lately? "He's digging his own grave right now," Trump says. I can't believe I'm actually seeing this. It’s honestly pathetic how some people just blindly follow whatever narrative is being shoved down their throats without a single second of critical thought. You see it everywhere lately—people just repeating talking points like they're reading from a script, completely ignoring the actual facts right in front of them. It's exhausting to watch. Honestly, if you can't look at a situation and see the obvious contradictions, what are you even doing? Just mindless compliance at this point. 🤔 "What are you even talking about?" — honestly, I don't get it. "He says he’ll bury the hatchet, but his dream involves nothing like Kim Jong Un—instead, he’s dreaming about finally putting that hatchet in the ground once and for all," he claims. God, I am absolutely sick of Lululemon. 🤦 "Oh, please—that’s just talk. People say those things to sound important, but it’s all just empty noise," as I always say. Don't mess around. 🤔Honestly, I’m looking at all these news outlets—I mean, look at CNN, CBS, and the rest of them—and I can just see the idiots on the other side laughing their heads off. 🤔..." "So what if she didn't call me out?" I said. "Even at Texan Oil, they buried the hatchet a hundred times over," he says. "🤦 Did you see that video? They were actually digging up the ground, yet people just brush it off like nothing happened, claiming they weren't really excavating anything. As velin ja puts it, "they aren't actually digging." "God, what am I supposed to do now?" he says. Tell the journalists it’s nothing more than a symbolic gesture, a little bit of basic human decency—as if anyone actually gives a damn about territory... honestly, just tell them that back in my day, I couldn't have cared less. 🍿I mean, yeah, exactly.
"God, give me strength with this constant finger-pointing—everyone’s always looking for someone to blame," he says. "Did you see what Stormi Daniels pulled? She basically set him up from the very beginning..." "Hey, hey Trump, you there? Can you hear me? The connection is cutting out... hello? The line is totally glitching, hello..." — just me and my imaginary audience. ☕
So today Jordan Belfort gave me a tour of his massive estate, and I even got introduced to his wife along the way 😲 (not that she had anything useful to say) before he turns to me and asks: "What do you think about the house?" "But where's the cellar?" I shot back. "What's a cellar?" he asks. 🤦 "Are you kidding me?" I told him. He immediately calls his architect and orders him to tear down the east wing tomorrow—about ten rooms worth of space—just so we can build a proper cellar like I suggested. ☕ After that, he cruises me over to his yacht—which is a decent little 150-foot vessel—and asks me: "What do you think, sir?" "But where's your bathroom?" I asked him. "What's a bathroom?" the idiot actually asks. He doesn't even know what a restroom is. 🤦 I explained it to him so clearly that having a pool on a boat is totally pointless when you're surrounded by an endless ocean, and honestly, the lack of a bathroom makes the whole thing a joke; whoever designed this yacht really screwed him over. ☕ He just looks at me and says, "You are absolutely right, anything else?" I then ask him where he plans to grill some lamb, but he tells me there's nowhere to do it. 🤦 I told him, "Look, you should just sell me this boat for about ten million bucks; you've got way too many maintenance costs to deal with anyway..." He looks all happy, reaches out his hand, and says, "Deal, Mr. American, I am a very wise and kind person..." Tomorrow, I'm heading out to get the paperwork sorted. 🥱
I’m dedicating this little corner of the internet specifically so I can talk trash about whatever kind of filth I feel like posting 😉 Look, things don't have to be totally explicit—as long as we aren't being outright vulgar—but I could easily throw down 🤔 maybe just a tiny hint of something suggestive 👍 in all the right places.
briskbison55 said:Of course they have no clue what's going on in Texas—honestly, you clearly landed on the wrong side of the country.
Fine, let them have their way, but if we’re going to play this game, someone ought to know exactly what kind of commander we're actually dealing with. ☕ I’m going to ask them for some photos of Betty, but honestly, I’ll just give them my American Playboy instead—it’s got Lidija Bašić in it. 🤔
Drew Ross2 said:Hey there, Krki! 👋
Warm welcome, Drew Ross2! Great to have you here. 🙂
Hannah Rodriguez said:You can't be serious right now.🤣
The day, isn't it? 🕺
Nah, I'm just feeling a little manic; honestly, I probably need to head down to some strip club in NYC, because after hitting up Eleven Madison Park today for some fermented cabbage, my stomach is doing backflips.🕺
Hannah Rodriguez said:You’ve basically set up a little clubhouse here for the rookies. I’m genuinely curious, though—how fast do you think Chuck would shut this whole thing down? 🤣
So, what, we’re never gonna see a single photo? Come on, throw us a bone here, give us something to actually look at instead of just talking in circles... ☕
Look, buddy, if this were really about Chuck, my thread wouldn't have survived this long, and I’ve never been one to act like a total jerk, believe me. 🕺
At the end of the day, everyone on these forums is the same to me. I don't go around judging people as "experienced" or "newbies"—in my book, everyone has every right to start a discussion wherever they want. It’s up to the old guard if they want to ignore them or not. If I stumble upon a thread that isn't my cup of tea, I’m not going to make a scene about it; I'll just move on. If something bothers you, then just step in and tell me, simple as that. 👍