Posts by mistybison

mistyfox812 said:I don't feel any sense of gratitude toward my parents for being here. In fact, I believe their decision to have me was quite foolish and immature, and I am the only one who has to deal with the consequences. 🙄 They really should have thought things through more before sentencing me to existence. 🙄 To anyone who believes that bringing a child into this world is some kind of precious gift, I truly hope you get a child just like me. 😍 😁 🤣

I don't feel any sense of gratitude toward my parents for being here. In fact, I believe their decision to have me was quite foolish and immature, and I am the only one who has to deal with the consequences. 🙄 They really should have thought things through more before sentencing me to existence. 🙄 To anyone who believes that bringing a child into this world is some kind of precious gift, I truly hope you get a child just like me. 😍 😁 🤣
Camus says, ''There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy. All the rest follows.''
Camus says, ''There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy. All the rest follows.''
Humans possess an inherent instinct for self-preservation. While this drive might be less pronounced in certain individuals, most people have a highly developed internal system that protects them from making such a decision. Becoming a parent introduces a different weight; you never truly know what kind of child you will have or what kind of life they will face. A parent carries the ultimate responsibility for bringing a new life into the world. It would be wrong for nefer to tell them, "If you aren't happy with the life I gave you, then take matters into your own hands."😛 😉

swiftcobra15 said:👍

It is because women tend to weigh the decision regarding children much more heavily. This is perfectly logical, given that the woman carries the child for nine months, goes through childbirth, and typically handles the primary caretaking later on.

swiftcobra15 said:👍

I don't feel any sense of gratitude toward my parents for being here. In fact, I believe their decision to have me was quite foolish and immature, and I am the only one who has to deal with the consequences. 🙄 They really should have thought things through more before sentencing me to existence. 🙄 To anyone who believes that bringing a child into this world is some kind of precious gift, I truly hope you get a child just like me. 😍 😁 🤣

swiftcobra15 said:

I was just trying to find some noble motivation for why men might want children. 😬

The facts seem fairly obvious—for men, fatherhood serves as an affirmation of masculinity. It isn't about parenting itself, but rather the capacity to "produce a child." Once that happens, they provide care (to whatever extent) because of social conditioning and legal requirements. Of course, the bulk of childcare usually falls to the mother. On the other hand, simply having a child can give purpose to many otherwise aimless human activities and help navigate difficult moments and sacrifices. Much like what you mentioned ("I do this for my kids"). Then again, perhaps there are fathers who truly love their offspring and parent out of pure affection? Or is that just a myth? 🤔
I was just trying to find some noble motivation for why men might want children. 😬

The facts seem fairly obvious—for men, fatherhood serves as an affirmation of masculinity. It isn't about parenting itself, but rather the capacity to "produce a child." Once that happens, they provide care (to whatever extent) because of social conditioning and legal requirements. Of course, the bulk of childcare usually falls to the mother. On the other hand, simply having a child can give purpose to many otherwise aimless human activities and help navigate difficult moments and sacrifices. Much like what you mentioned ("I do this for my kids"). Then again, perhaps there are fathers who truly love their offspring and parent out of pure affection? Or is that just a myth? 🤔

If you believe men "love their offspring," do you think that love was the initial motivation to become a father,
or did they fall in love with the child after the fact? (It brings us right back to the same dilemma.)

If you believe men "love their offspring," do you think that love was the initial motivation to become a father,
or did they fall in love with the child after the fact? (It brings us right back to the same dilemma.)
Most people never stop to ask themselves, "Why should I become a parent?" In our society, having children is often viewed as a natural, desirable, and "normal" milestone. People tend to accept it as an inevitable stage of life without much reflection, or they simply find themselves in that position by circumstance.

I view this forum as a space where we can explore and brainstorm reasons that might encourage someone contemplating this question to take the leap into parenthood. These posts are my own sincere attempts to contribute to that conversation.
😬

If fathers "love their children," do you think that love was the initial motivation for them to become parents,
or did they develop that love after the fact?

They fell in love with their children after the fact, just as women do, though perhaps in a different way. (For a perspective on how this looks from a woman's point of view, there are excellent posts by Velmex on the topic you linked in your first post).

swiftcobra15 said:😕

Maybe a mother might manage to give her child half of that time,
but I highly doubt you'll find a single father in a million who does.

I was just trying to find some noble motivation for why men might want children. 😬

The facts seem fairly obvious—for men, fatherhood serves as an affirmation of masculinity. It isn't about parenting itself, but rather the capacity to "produce a child." Once that happens, they provide care (to whatever extent) because of social conditioning and legal requirements. Of course, the bulk of childcare usually falls to the mother. On the other hand, simply having a child can give purpose to many otherwise aimless human activities and help navigate difficult moments and sacrifices. Much like what you mentioned ("I do this for my kids"). Then again, perhaps there are fathers who truly love their offspring and parent out of pure affection? Or is that just a myth? 🤔

swiftcobra15 said:

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Personally, I believe most women want kids, while only a minority of men do.
But just to keep the peace at home, satisfy "public opinion" (grandparents, extended family, and neighbors), and stick to tradition, we "average out" to wanting children.
I mean, what else would we do with our lives?

[/B]

Personally, I believe most women want kids, while only a minority of men do.
But just to keep the peace at home, satisfy "public opinion" (grandparents, extended family, and neighbors), and stick to tradition, we "average out" to wanting children.
I mean, what else would we do with our lives?

[/B]

Personally, I believe most women want kids, while only a minority of men do.
But just to keep the peace at home, satisfy "public opinion" (grandparents, extended family, and neighbors), and stick to tradition, we "average out" to wanting children.
I mean, what else would we do with our lives?
In my view, most men and women desire children; I'd say only about 5% of people across both genders don't want them at all. 😛 😁

swiftcobra15 said:Quentin Tarantino

I honestly don't buy into this whole idea of "natural instincts," and I certainly don't believe that men and women share the same motivations when it comes to parenthood.
I’d really like to ask everyone to please speak from their own lived experiences and personal perspectives, rather than relying on collective prejudices.

I am not a man, so... personal I don't have any personal experience to share at this time. 🙂 To be fair, my "experience" on this subject is based entirely on what others have told me.

I agree with those views.

Why would a man choose to have children? Perhaps it is an opportunity to pass on the wisdom and experiences he has gathered throughout his life. In many ways, raising a child is a form of artistic expression. Parenthood serves as one of the most profound, creative ways a person can leave a lasting legacy in this world—and I am not just talking about DNA. Of course, this only applies if he truly wants to and feels ready for the responsibility. 🙂 This applies to women as well.

Here are several reasons people have given me regarding why one should have children:

- Children ensure you leave a legacy behind.

- For those who haven't made a massive impact on society—like a groundbreaking scientist or a world-renowned artist—raising children is perhaps the most meaningful way to give back to the community.

- Some argue that living without offspring is inherently selfish; they believe parenthood refines a person, fostering growth and improving how one is perceived by both themselves and others.

- There is a view that one cannot reach full maturity without experiencing parenthood, as it represents one of life's most essential journeys.

- Once you have children, you will never truly be alone again.

- It provides a support system to care for you as you age.

- Having children offers a sense of purpose for when other life's distractions eventually lose their luster.

- We need children to ensure the continued survival of our nation.

I may have overlooked a few points, but these are the ones that come to mind. I have heard these perspectives from both men and women alike.

Feel free to choose whichever perspective resonates most with you. 🙂

silentnomad23 said:What exactly do you mean when you use the word "everything"? 🙂

Everything imaginable, observable, audible, or experiential—whether it be good or bad, foolish or wise, beautiful or ugly, sincere or deceptive.

silentnomad23 said:Oh man, you have really piqued my curiosity here.
So, if change is happening constantly (even if that sounds a bit cliché😬),
is it true that the personality itself begins to scatter during that process?

I was at a comedy show today that wasn't even particularly funny, yet the audience was laughing hysterically. It actually made me stop and focus on the laughter itself; I had this strange sensation that I couldn't pinpoint its source. It felt as though the laughter had entered them from the outside, causing everyone to erupt in this perfectly synchronized, boisterous way.

A scattered personality? One that simply allows things to pass through it?

I believe that through all these shifts, a person eventually realizes that everything within them is interconnected, making it difficult to hold onto any fixed idea of who they are.

A dissolved personality? One that just lets life flow right through it?

The personality still manifests in some way, though the individual becomes increasingly aware 😬 that its shape is constantly shifting. Sometimes these changes are so subtle they seem non-existent, yet one understands that change follows its own mysterious course.

Rebecca Cox2 said:Technically, "happiness" is just a cocktail of brain chemicals—serotonin, endorphins, and the rest—triggering a sense of pleasure that our rational minds then process and label as "happiness."

Well, a deficiency in serotonin can lead to depression, which is undeniably an unhappy state. A lack of endorphins might not cause that specifically, but it could lead to total apathy toward everything (I'm speaking from memory here, rather than digging up specific medical journals online)...

To rationalize it:

- The upcoming birth of my first child.
- Making love to my wife.
- Playing with my one-year-old niece.
- The scent of roses in the early morning.
- Burying my face in my cat's soft belly or having her fall asleep on my chest.
- Hitting a winning shot in pickup basketball (especially a three-pointer when the opponent sees it coming). That feeling lingers for quite a while...
- Eating chocolate in any form.
- Financial security (I'm not there yet, but I'm working toward it).
- And so on and so forth.

It's all of those things.

I have to admit, my biggest struggle is actually those accumulated moments of pure happiness that just hit me out of nowhere... like right now.😁

In my view—yes. I mean, what more could you really ask for?

There isn't much difference beyond semantics. If I had to put a finger on it, I’d say happiness is a brief, intense burst, while satisfaction is more enduring and less intense—but they both stem from the same roots, don't they?

I suppose I have...😉

😍

silentnomad23 said:How would you describe yourself—if you were to put it into song—and what does the concept of "the self" actually mean to you?
Can you describe, feel, or explain your own personality? How do you perceive yourself versus how you think the rest of the world sees you? In what ways do you observe your own being?

I suggest coming back in a few days to review your thoughts. Do you still stand by everything you wrote?
Do you feel as though your personality is becoming more blurred and undefined as you grow, or is maturity helping you become more distinct and defined? Perhaps a better word might be evolution
. And ultimately, what does the process of maturing or evolving truly signify to you?

Everything.

Quotation:

Can you promote, feel, or explain your personality, and how do you perceive yourself versus how you think others see you?

It is irrelevant. What I perceive as "myself" depends on my current state of mind, while what others see in me depends entirely on their own state of mind.

Quotation:

In what ways do you observe yourself?

I strive to observe myself as little as possible and simply exist.

Quotation:

If you return in a few days and look at what you wrote, do you still stand by those words?

Who knows. Sometimes I stumble upon my old posts and am surprised that my views haven't changed, and other times I am genuinely shocked, thinking I wouldn't even recognize those thoughts as my own.

Quotation:

Do you feel like your personality becomes more blurred and indefinite as you mature—perhaps a better word would be evolution—or does it become more defined?

My sense of self is becoming increasingly undefined. I find myself building less and less, as it feels like a futile effort. It drains energy without providing any real benefit.

Quotation:

And what does maturity or evolution actually mean to you?

Precisely what the name implies: change.

Richard Murphy6 As follows:
It is quite simple. I move through fear and pain, then drift into sleep—essentially dying a second time that same night—only to be resurrected again the following morning.🙂

Sometimes you even experience a "resurrection" several times within a single dream. 😉 Why would you assume that physical death would be any different?

Richard Murphy6 said:Honestly? It's because I'm terrified of it and I'm just not ready to go!

Technically, you "die" every single night when you go to sleep. 🙂

Quincy:

Matthew Ruiz2 Asks: Is the harmony you perceive actually the underlying reason why everything exists exactly as you understand it in this moment?

I don't dwell on the reasons. Things simply are, I am who I am, and everything is great. 🙂 That seems about right.

Quincy:

It seems people have grown far too accustomed to hardship, suffering, and the suppression of their own voices. In the past, expressing true emotion was often strictly forbidden, yet we still carry this tendency—perhaps through our history or even our biology—to blame others for our lack of happiness because it is simply easier to do so. Once our basic needs like shelter, food, and water are met, our requirements change. That is when we realize that survival alone isn't enough to fulfill us. Having endured centuries of restrictions, we may have forgotten how to truly be relaxed, mindful, and content. Now that we finally have the freedom and the resources to pursue fulfillment, we often struggle to find the right balance, leading us to overindulge, burn out, and ultimately shift the blame onto those around us once again.

I believe human nature follows a predictable cycle, evolving from simplicity toward complexity and eventually returning to where it began.

Perhaps we all label different experiences as 'sreća'...

To me, sreća is harmony. Those 'happy moments' that occasionally stretch into hours tend to happen when I stop trying to force myself or the world into preconceived notions or rigid perspectives. It occurs when I simply 'exist,' allowing everything within and around me to flow naturally along its own path, without resistance or any attempt to redirect it toward a specific goal. It happens when I refrain from judging anything—refusing to label things as valuable or worthless, beautiful or ugly, smart or foolish. This can occur in any situation. Sometimes, I just pause, take a deep breath, and think: "Life is truly beautiful." 🙂 In those moments, everything feels right; I see harmony everywhere, both within myself and in the world around me.

I don't believe these moments have to be rare. Rather, I think we Americans have become far too accustomed to 'misfortune' and 'suffering.' We often view sreća as something else entirely, or something located somewhere else, believing it must follow a specific pattern or be conditioned by certain achievements before we can actually feel it. People love to complicate life, finding it difficult to accept that the greatest and most important truths have always been right here. 🙂

Everything else that comes and goes—the things we acquire or purchase—those are merely pleasures or enjoyments to me. They can make me joyful, excited, or even euphoric, but those feelings require external stimulation; they are conditional and eventually give way to other emotions, whether pleasant or unpleasant. Sreća, by contrast, is an unconditional state. We are sometimes aware of it and sometimes not, but it never 'leaves.' It is always present; we simply need to pay attention to it. More often than not, however, it is the feeling itself that catches our attention. 😉

To return to the original post by swiftcobra15:

swiftcobra15 said:Giving and receiving are complementary; one cannot exist without the other.
The opposite of giving is imposing, while the opposite of receiving is seizing.

I believe we all grasp the distinction between giving and imposing, even if the line between them can feel quite blurry. For instance, consider a friend sharing a problem. Depending on countless factors—the specific situation, the friend's personality, or the nature of our relationship—our input might be seen as 'giving' or 'imposing.' It shifts based on context. I am also certain we understand what it means to receive, though that isn't always advisable either. Those who give or impose don't always offer wise counsel or accurate information. However, I am curious: what would constitute 'seizing' in a conversation between two people? 🤔 We could even look at this forum as an example. If I ask for clarification that a person hasn't provided so that I can better understand them, I am simply asking. But if I persist despite their refusal, am I then seizing? 🤔

Christian Johnson53 said:Given the scriptural teaching that no one comes to me (God) except through my son (Jesus Christ), I find myself wondering what becomes of the souls who never placed their faith in Christ? Furthermore, is it even possible for a spirit to reach God at all without that connection?
hi

It isn't possible, because one can never truly leave Him. We are always in God. 🙂

My doctor advised me to steer clear of them altogether. A few months back, I cut out white sugar entirely and now I just use yellow sweetener for my coffee.

Welcome back, swiftcobra15. 🙂