Posts by mistybison

mistynomad5 said:I don't be under any illusions that this post will change anyone's mind—it likely won't open many eyes—but it’s been weighing on my mind, and I need to get it out there.🙂
I'm relatively new to Reddit, and over the last few days, I've had the chance to observe quite a bit. There have been plenty of beautiful, positive, and encouraging moments, but also a fair amount of ugliness.
Let's start with the good stuff:
I truly appreciate seeing so many people here who genuinely want to help others—whether it's through advice, sharing knowledge, or offering their own life experiences.
In my opinion, it’s people like that who make life worth living. Even when you lose faith in humanity, or when bitterness starts to take hold and you feel like there's no goodness left in the world, you get those pleasant surprises that pull you back.

Now for the ugly side:

I honestly don't get how some members treat everyone else here. There's this pervasive negativity and a sense of snobbery—this artificial hierarchy being established between regular users, moderators, and admins. To be perfectly honest, I don't see a difference anywhere; we are all just people, and the only thing that should separate us is our character, nothing else.
People constantly jump at the chance to mock, ridicule, or belittle someone else (and just to be clear, I'm not acting as anyone's defense attorney here).
Before the moderators here start lecturing me about how sometimes one has to be blunt with members, let me just say: there is absolutely no need for that kind of explanation.
I understand what it means to be an admin or a moderator—I know how much work goes into deleting posts and cleaning up after users. I get it.
But being a moderator is a volunteer role, and in many ways, they should be setting the standard for the rest of the community. They should show us how things are done and, above all, ensure that members aren't tearing each other apart.

I'll take this opportunity to quote one of the mods; her words really gave me pause:

"Do you know the two greatest sins one can commit in society and conversation? Being boring and having no sense of humor. I'm afraid you suffer from both."

Are people really categorized that way now?
Is that truly the ultimate sin?
Is it really a crime if someone isn't as highly educated as everyone else, or if they struggle to express themselves perfectly? It seems the self-proclaimed academics here find it difficult to tolerate anything less than perfect prose.
Why is the spotlight always shone on these trivialities? Isn't it more important that this little corner of the internet provides a space where people generally get along?
Where people find community, conversation, comfort, and friendship.
Isn't that the whole point and purpose of forums like this?

I don't know anyone here yet, and I can't judge people solely based on their posts, but so far, two individuals have stood out to me. When I read their contributions, I see strong characters and genuinely good people.
Those would be Daniel Ward87 and Roger Evans.

Reading this forum lately, I get the impression that only those with fancy degrees are welcome—those who can flaunt their intellect—while the rest of us mere "mortals," especially those brave enough to hold an opinion, are looked down upon.

Who gets to measure how much intelligence someone possesses?
Who decides who is literate enough?
Isn't it more vital that we act as human beings, that we strengthen our shared communication, build bridges between different walks of life, and foster friendships?

So, I realize this is a long post, and perhaps my grammar isn't exactly top-tier.😁
But I'm writing what is in my heart, what my soul tells me, and in those moments, grammar and spelling don't really have a place.😁
I'd love to hear your thoughts. You've all been here much longer than I have; you know the people and the general climate of this place better than I do.

Does that imply the rest of us lack character or good intentions? 😠

I meant this as a joke, intended to demonstrate how awkward certain communication styles can be and how easily someone's words can be misinterpreted. 😉

I would love to hear your thoughts. Since you all have been on Reddit longer than I have, you certainly understand the community and its overall vibe better than I do.

Reddit is just like the real world—it’s full of different personalities, and you encounter all sorts of situations where you have to hold your own. In life, we aren't always coddled; we often have to deal with bluntness and learn how to stand our ground and carve out our own space. 🙂

slywolf45 said:True, I agree... though we’re really drifting into deep psychoanalysis now regarding how men and women perceive sex, emotions, and everything else.
It’s almost as if men operate under the assumption that two women can't achieve true emotional depth or sexual satisfaction without a man present. So, when they hear about two women being together, they mentally frame it as some sort of provocative prelude designed specifically for his benefit. In their minds, there’s an expected crescendo where he makes a monumental entrance to lead them both toward ecstasy...🤣

Once he realizes he isn't wanted and faces rejection, violence often follows, much like what happens in cases involving gay men.

slywolf45 said:Yeah... though, if we're being precise, that male reaction seems to target gay men specifically, rather than lesbians... what a shocker!
I’m honestly not sure why you're so surprised; the issue of male homophobes is about as old as time itself.
As for the "latent" theory—I wouldn't say it's a universal rule, even if there are certainly plenty of people who fit the description. There are so many people out there harboring fantasies about the same sex that they'll never act on, let alone admit to anyone (including themselves).

Women tend to view this issue quite differently than men do. Most heterosexual women are largely indifferent, whether it involves two men together or two women. Conversely, men often find the idea of two women appealing, yet find two men unappeable. We simply hold vastly different perspectives regarding other people's sexuality. It also seems to me that women are more aware of being "extra" in a relationship between two gay men, whereas men don't feel that way regarding female same-sex relationships. 🤔

Jonathan Kim4 said:Since I don't see a dedicated PDF group here, I'm not quite sure where else to host this discussion.

So, with San Francisco Pride approaching—and given how relevant this topic feels right now—I’ve been chewing on a thesis that was previously mentioned. Mind you, these are just my own musings; I haven't backed any of this up with actual scientific research or anything of the sort.

Let's break it down step by step:

It’s basic human nature, really—people tend to lash out when they feel threatened. From that perspective, I can somewhat grasp the logic behind certain homophobe panics—that irrational fear that some overly feminine guy is going to show up and somehow force a change upon you.

But that premise is fundamentally flawed, isn't it? Because, let's be honest, you don't simply "become" gay through external pressure.

Fear of the unknown tends to manifest in two distinct ways: one group of people reacts with curiosity, seeking to understand what they don't know, while the other group—well, they just swing wildly at shadows.

On the flip side, there's the fear of social rejection, which can also trigger aggression. It's that crushing realization that you might belong to a group that society dislikes—the fear of being mocked or physically targeted. In an attempt to distance themselves from their true selves, some people choose to surround themselves with diametrically opposed social circles just to prove they aren't what they truly are.

It is quite interesting, though, that the most vocal homophobes often belong to groups composed almost entirely of men—think aggressive sports hooligans, Skinheads, and the like.

There have even been documented cases in Germany where Skinheads would beat someone up, only for one of them to follow it up by giving the victim his phone number to "hang out" later. A bit of a strange contradiction, wouldn't you say?

That leads me to my question: Is the suppression of one's own sexual orientation capable of fueling a total, visceral hatred toward it?

Just to be clear, I'm not looking to offend anyone here—neither homophobes nor homosexuals. I'm genuinely curious if anyone else has reached similar "empirical" conclusions through their own observations.

I am not certain what the specific research indicates on this matter, but from my own observations when speaking with both men and women, I have been quite surprised to find that men are typically the ones expressing hostility toward homosexuals, whereas women often seem indifferent. It appears that either men harbor latent tendencies themselves, or women simply maintain a much different perspective on sexuality that makes homosexuality seem far less threatening. 🤔

Andrew Jackson83 said:I’m going to drop this under this thread... it isn't about being lost, per se, but more of a "glitch" regarding left and right. Someone tells me to turn right, and I instinctively veer left, or vice versa. It happens constantly. It takes me a few seconds to actually process which side is which 😬 .

A friend of mine deals with this too, and she solved it using her watch. Since she wears it on her left wrist, that side is always "left." The other side is clearly right. 😬 However, it really is an issue for people who can't tell their directions straight. Ever since I started driving, I've had moments where someone tells me, "We're turning left here," and I gear up to turn left, only to have my passenger scream, "Not there! The other left!" 😬 🤣

Raymond Martin25 said:I don't know Italian 😳
The thing is, I have to transfer in a few different places 👎 so how is a friend even supposed to help me if I call her? 😕
Besides the transfers (and the fear of hopping on the wrong bus), I still have to figure everything else out—like, I arrive in a random city at 2 AM, and there aren't any buses to her town until around 9 AM. Where am I supposed to stay until that bus shows up? 😢 I'll be terrified sitting alone at a bus station in the middle of the night! 👎
And then there's navigating her city once I finally get there...
Honestly, I feel like just giving up on the whole thing...

That definitely presents a challenge. You would really have to be a nonconformist to handle that without a plan. Is there a hostel in that city where you could stay overnight? Perhaps a cafe or restaurant that stays open all night? It might be worth doing a quick online search.

Otherwise, the worst-case scenario is simply missing your bus and having to head back. You can always ask someone for help; even if there's a language barrier, people can usually point you in the right direction on a map. Most people know the names of local landmarks, and they can certainly write down which bus number you need and which stop to get off at. That is exactly how I managed to navigate Budapest the first time I used the subway. 😬

Donna Jones4 said:My self-confidence isn't really something that gets shaken up by people's insults. I can take a lot more than most, and honestly, it doesn't take much to knock me off balance, but that’s beside the point. Just because I'm tough doesn't mean I have to sit there and take it. I won't let anyone treat me that way simply because I don't have to!

If I realize that my life is just peaceful and quiet without all this unnecessary drama, then I know there's a solution for that. I won't regret whatever choice I make, because I always aim for something better than what I've got right now. I'm certain about that.

I just don't get why some people lack even a shred of basic decency. It's like they come here—and someone mentioned earlier that you find all sorts of people on the internet—but in my actual day-to-day life in the States, I mostly run into people who are somewhat similar to me. Or, at the very least, there aren't nearly as many reasons for constant conflict as there are here.

Some people act like they're so tough just because they can cram a dozen swear words into a single post. As if those words were the 🙄 Quote there's a bit more wisdom in being a decent human being
.

People of all ages post on this forum. I have been shocked by someone's comments only to realize later in another thread that they are actually just fourteen years old. 🙂 For instance, nobody takes Susan Garcia too seriously because she is seventeen, and everyone remembers being that age and understands that her behavior is fairly typical for a teenager. 😉 If she were thirty and came forward with issues regarding low self-esteem or loneliness, the tone of the conversation would be entirely different. Furthermore, everyone has a unique approach and a different sense of humor. I find it amusing when people react so intensely to certain members who express themselves uniquely; these individuals often provide excellent advice and intelligent insights, even if their way of joking is a bit unconventional. 😁 😉 Then there are those who come here specifically to vent negative energy, picking fights or taking their frustrations out on others because they can't do so with the people in their immediate lives. You simply avoid those types and refuse to engage in discussions with them.

Donna Jones4 said:I’ve got a few thoughts to toss into this discussion too.

Why does everyone on here automatically assume that if you’re hanging out on a forum, you must be unattractive, overweight, dim-witted, boring, or single?

Personally, none of those labels apply to me, and honestly, I can’t recall anyone in my actual life ever saying something like that to my face. But the second you step onto this forum, it feels like anyone can just swear at you, insult you, or belittle you, and you’re expected to just take it and stay quiet. In any other online community I’ve been part of, the kind of language used here would be strictly forbidden. And because there aren't any clear, enforceable rules, people just take advantage of the chaos to vent their frustrations on others.

Also, why is it that some people can't even bother to read a post before jumping in with a comment? They just see what they want to see just to get a reaction. Is it because they’re dealing with so much frustration in their real lives that they’re just looking for an excuse to pick a fight with someone?

I’ve mentioned this more than once, but I came here strictly for fun. I didn't come here to argue with strangers, and lately, I've actually been wondering if this place is even worth my time.

I have a wonderful life—great friends, a solid social circle, a loving family, and a partner. I have everything I need to be happy, and I'm perfectly content with that. Despite all that, I still choose to spend time here, knowing full well that I might just become a punching bag for someone else's bad mood.

Since I’ve always had a bit of a moral compass and a sense of fairness, I can’t help but notice these patterns. Am I really supposed to sink to their level and start hurling insults back just to get a positive response or the freedom to enjoy myself? After all, this is supposed to be a place for entertainment, isn't it?

How are we supposed to handle direct provocations?

I have only dealt with one person on this forum who targeted me personally due to their own issues. It was quite uncomfortable, and I actually stopped posting here for a while because of it. Eventually, I realized through other discussions that the attacks weren't really about me; I was just an easy target for someone needing to vent their frustrations. I simply added them to my ignore list and moved on. 🙂As for the rest of the community, I have never encountered anything that felt like a provocation.

restlessridge36 said:Yes, but not consciously. It merely stores "raw" emotions that haven't been processed or filtered through the neocortex (the rational brain).

It follows that with enough experience, we naturally become more "emotionally intelligent."

restlessridge36 said:She passed both attempts! 😍
Quickly now, what else do you want to know before I forget?

Does this "amygdala" actually evolve, and does it utilize experience—much like reason does—when evaluating situations and forming reactions?

Sophia Castillo35 said:That was simply a glitch on the forum, and it isn't something that can be replicated manually.

My username vanished during the site migration, which forced me to register it all over again. However, I've noticed that some other recently active accounts, like this one, seem to be disappearing too. Could this actually be done intentionally, or is it just a side effect of the server crashes? 🤔

😲

Deleting such a significant post—effectively stripping away the value of both this thread and the entire subforum—has truly left me speechless. 😢

How could you be so ruthless, Baphi? 🙂

Keith Lee2 said:Fine, whatever you say😉

Let’s not derail this thread any further, or we might just get wiped out by the Mad Scientist. 🙂

Keith Lee2 said:Honestly, it’s kind of embarrassing when someone's clearly smart—like, really bright—but just chooses not to use it.
So, if she's "just" smart—but doesn't actually put that brainpower to use—then she's basically...
Worth checking out (if you ask most people).

So, here I am—basically trying to kill off parts of myself just because some people think it'll make me... better? Or whatever.
Man, people will really toss you aside just because you hang out in the same circles—it's wild.😬

Intelligence manifests in many different ways beyond just wealth or material success. Furthermore, a high IQ offers no guarantees in life. I once watched a program featuring members of Mensa, including one individual ranked among the top five highest IQ scores globally. He explained clearly that intelligence is merely potential—you can utilize it, but you aren't obligated to. Additionally, an IQ score only measures logical intelligence, which doesn't ensure success in anything outside of solving logical puzzles. It is much like having a talent. You might have a brilliant ear for music, but if you never practice or perform, no one will ever know you are gifted, nor will they despise you for it. If you don't exercise your intellect, no one will even realize you are intelligent, so there won't be any disdain to deal with. 😬

There are those who stubbornly suppress certain traits because they fear their environment will reject
them for it.😬

On the contrary, they are simply demonstrating a specific trait by realistically assessing their own capabilities. 🙂 😬

Keith Lee2 said:Here’s how I see the scenario playing out:
A kid with a high IQ- in a totally average environment quickly gets convinced that "something is wrong with them."
But since they don't actually know what that "something" is, they just use their brains to blend in.
Then one day—maybe even when they're all grown up—they realize the reason people were
looking at them weirdly was actually because of that intelligence, and suddenly, they're stuck in a dilemma.
They have no clue what to even do with all that brainpower.
Growing up among average folks taught them to hide it, so they still do (mostly because showing off just draws contempt),
but they can't find anyone else like them because everyone else is hiding too.
The second someone steps up and shows they're smart—or even *just* smart—
people assume they've lost their minds, like they're "putting their shame on display" in public.
All this might be why an organization meant to bring these people together (like Mensa)
can't really get off the ground.
So, if the need to be around people who actually get you
is considered narcissism, then I guess high IQ- folks are just naturally leaning into being narcissists.

Are you referring to pure genius or just a specific type of giftedness? In that case, a person truly stands out because they are fundamentally different. Most people possess average intelligence and talents, so someone solving complex math problems at age three or composing pieces for a major symphony orchestra is clearly distinct. However, that doesn't mean such an individual must be socially isolated. That depends entirely on their personality and how their parents handle their giftedness. But such individuals are rare...
Most people with a high IQ- are limited in their talents and abilities just like anyone else. They may excel in certain areas, but they don't necessarily clash with their environment. It seems to me that society actually encourages competition in various fields, and parents generally support their children's education, provided the family dynamic is healthy. Intelligence is always an advantage. Parents take pride in having "smart kids," even when they aren't particularly brilliant. 😬

As soon as someone presents themselves as merely intelligent,
they are treated as if they are crazy, because they are essentially "putting their shame on display."

What kind of "merely intelligent" person deserves contempt? What traits would they have? Should we expect universal social respect just because we inherited a certain capacity for logic that we can now express with a number? Intelligence serves no purpose if it isn't applied. And applied intelligence is quite visible, and I certainly don't believe anyone would call it "shameful."

restlessridge36 said:Your conclusion is rather shabby.😎
Everyone believes they are smart enough, or even smarter than those around them.
(Have you ever actually heard anyone complain about being too smart? Usually, it is just people fishing for compliments to prove they aren't.😁)
Only narcissists make such a point of stating it,(much like the person being quoted here,😉)
while the rest of us are too shallow or self-absorbed to see through it.

It is often said that God was at His most equitable when distributing intellect—everyone assumes they received a perfectly sufficient, if not generous, portion. 😉

Lawrence Wells said:Man, whoever sang that song about being rich and carefree... hey, he can sing whatever he wants!😁 Anyway, total tangent!

Back when he was performing those kinds of songs, he and his band were just playing local garage shows for a couple of beers. 😁

Someone mentioned this earlier, but I have to disagree with the idea that a high IQ is what isolates people or creates a sense of alienation. It is actually different interests, differing worldviews, and varying life priorities that cause that disconnect, none of which are strictly tied to intelligence levels. Besides, individuals with exceptionally high IQ scores are just as rare as those with profound intellectual disabilities; most people simply fall within the average range.

swiftcobra15 said:"a human being is a living creature possessing human DNA" ...

A person truly becomes human when they are taught how to live—when their environment instructs them in walking upright, speaking, behaving, and thinking. Without that, one is merely a "human-like animal" (which seems to be proven by cases of individuals raised entirely among animals). It is quite fascinating how members of our society must constantly teach a child (a human infant 😛) how to truly be human...

William Gonzalez3 said:Well, if it isn't actually life-threatening, then I guess it doesn't sound all that terrible to me.

Is narcissism even really a bad thing?
And if it is—well, what exactly is it that makes it so problematic?

It can become an issue if it evolves into Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Otherwise, I wouldn't assume people with high IQs are inherently narcissists. A person must possess a natural predisposition toward narcissism; a high IQ simply provides them with better tools to construct an inflated self-image. To a narcissist, anything can serve as fuel to feel "superior" to others, and if they lack any actual merit, they will quite easily invent it. 😉

mistyfox812 said:I don't know, I just don't see how it's anything but fair to admit we'd much rather be alive than dead—especially since, luckily, we haven't taken advantage of the option to not exist yet. 🙂

The will to live is hardwired into us; we didn't earn it. This makes parenthood even more daunting, as you're bringing a new being into a world where they'll have to fight tooth and nail just to survive. 😢