Posts by Harold Anderson3

Matthew Castillo5 said:Everything's fine, I respect your stance. I am a believer myself, but I don't discriminate based on faith.

I'm assuming you've been seeing psychiatrists through Medicare at a hospital or a community clinic, and those places are usually slammed even without offering therapy. Plus, most of those doctors aren't actually trained psychotherapists—you need extra certification for that. So, it doesn't surprise me one bit that they haven't brought it up. I'm just saying, it might actually be worth looking into if you ever decide you're ready for it.

Psychotherapy can definitely be helpful, but in a case like this, medication is really the key factor in helping someone function effectively at work and in their daily life. I personally go in once a month to see my doctor, and it’s much more than just getting a prescription refilled; we spend an hour or so just talking, for as long as it needs to take. It’s what I consider a mix of a check-up and supportive therapy. At least, that’s how things work with my doctor in Washington, D.C. If you head out to the rural parts of the country, it's a completely different story, because if we're looking at the whole US, the mental health care in Washington, D.C. is really the best you're going to find. Sadly, it is what it is...

I sometimes get this nagging feeling that my psychosis is creeping back in if I work with my doctor to scale back my medication just a little too much. Honestly, ever since I was diagnosed with F20, I haven't completely stepped away from my treatment, yet I still find myself hitting rough patches every now and then. About a year and a half ago, for instance, I skipped my check-ups for six months while staying on a minimal dose; between having a few drinks here and there, the stress of classes at UCLA, pulling way too many overtime hours at work, and getting caught up in a fight on campus, everything just kind of boiled over and resulted in a three-week hospital stay. I’ve also noticed that whenever my life undergoes a sudden shift—like moving to a new apartment or starting a new job—my mental health takes a hit. My digestion goes haywire, I start stuttering quite badly, and sleep becomes almost impossible, which means I have to bump up my antipsychotics again. It stays that way until I finally settle into the new routine, at which point I can go back to a lower dose. I truly don't understand people who repeatedly stop taking their meds when they already know they struggle with psychosis. That's just not how my brain works.

Seroquel really knocks you out and has a heavy sedative effect, though it usually takes about an hour to kick in after you take it. Personally, I mostly just stick to Lunesta since my main struggle is sleep rather than needing an antipsychotic. Honestly, staying in a psychiatric ward for three or four days isn't going to get you much closer to a breakthrough. My shortest hospital stay was about three weeks back about a year and a half ago, and that was strictly to get my medication levels adjusted. My longest stretch was six months, nearly nine years ago, which happened when I made the mistake of quitting my meds cold turkey—the first and last time I ever did that. I also had a six-week stay before that long one, and another two-month stint following it due to depression; at that time, I was temporarily dealing with post-schizophrenic depression, so those are all the times I've spent on psych wards.

P.s. I'm really hoping a few more people chime in, but there are only about five or six of us talking on this thread, mostly because schizophrenia is relatively rare, especially within online communities like this one.

Chloe Flores83 said:Thanks so much for the reply... The thing is, I really struggle with staying on my meds. I basically only take them when I absolutely need to sleep because I can't drift off without something. It's been like this for 10 years now since I was first diagnosed with schizophrenia. In that time, I've ended up in the hospital 15 times, and every single time I got discharged, I'd stop taking everything. I kept thinking I could somehow spot the signs before things went south—you know, like when the religious delusions start creeping in. And truth be told, I functioned way better with the pills than without them. I did fine for a long time. I never dealt with depression back then. Not until now. I gave Zeldox a shot recently, but it just didn't work for me. Are there any meds out there that actually make you feel good? Maybe Xanax? Is this just the real face of the illness finally showing up after 10 years? And is it even possible to find a schizophrenia med that lets you function normally, like you aren't even sick, or is that just wishful thinking?

I think everyone finds an antidepressant that works for them, though it's definitely not a one-size-fits-all situation. It's worth remembering that Xanax is primarily an anti-anxiety med rather than a standard antidepressant. For me personally, while medication helps, what really turned things around was simply getting my life somewhat organized. It’s the same story with antipsychotics. Since I tend to have a pretty mellow temperament, I need something that provides a bit of an energy boost, so I use Abilify. The downside is that it isn't quite as potent as some other options, even at the maximum dose. Because of that, I combine it with relatively small doses of Seroquel, which is incredibly effective, even if it does come with a heavier list of side effects. Knock on wood, I haven't run into those nasty side effects that seem to plague so many others. Of course, staying consistent and taking your medication regularly is a fundamental requirement for functioning normally, but it isn't a magic bullet. Eating well, getting enough sleep without overdoing it, and staying active—all of those things play a huge role in recovery. Medication is necessary, but everything else—having a job, a social circle, maybe even starting a family or picking up hobbies—is something a person living with this has to work to build for themselves.

Chloe Flores83 said:I was reading somewhere that bipolar disorder can sometimes show up during the later stages of schizophrenia. Has anyone here actually dealt with both? Honestly, I’m just not feeling it lately—I have zero desire to be social, but when I'm by myself, I just feel incredibly low. I spend my whole workday at the office pretending everything is totally fine. Could this be bipolar?

I’ve been through that myself. It seems like depression—whether it's mild or more intense—almost always follows schizophrenia. If those mood swings end up causing you more trouble than the psychotic symptoms themselves, then what you're looking at might not strictly be schizophrenia, but rather schizoaffective disorder (which can be depressive, manic, or mixed type). But please, try not to let the diagnosis weigh you down too much; the most important thing is really just getting your treatment dialed in, finding the right medication and the right dosage so you can actually start feeling like yourself and functioning well in your daily life.

Robin Lopez2 said:I'm currently on 1mg of risperidone daily. Does anyone know what the minimum effective dose would be?

That really is a pretty low dose, and honestly, it might even go lower than that depending on how intense your psychosis is.
In my case, I used to get 50 mg injections every two weeks—which works out to about 4 mg a day—and I was taking that alongside Seroquel.

My mom is also on a regimen that averages out to about 10 mg daily—she gets 4 mg through an injection and another 6 mg in tablets—but she definitely needs that level to stay stable.

For you, though, maybe that 1 mg is plenty, especially if you're dealing with a milder form of psychosis.

Rebecca Rivera3 said:It isn't exactly fantastic because it makes you feel like the life you're living isn't even real. It turns your entire past into a question mark and leaves the future feeling hollow.
You start wondering if you actually want to inhabit your own body or just exist as a stranger to yourself. When you feel alienated like that, life loses its purpose. Life is built on those tiny, fleeting moments, but what happens if you can't actually experience them? It’s like watching a boring movie where you already know the ending, so you just want to shut it off—except then you feel like shutting off life itself.

So, it really isn't wonderful; it's actually quite terrifying. At times, it feels incredibly dull, lonely, and deeply sad.
To be honest, I can't tell if it's just me or the medication. I'd say my sense of self is being blended with the drugs, and they're the ones driving these feelings.
The side effects are just... soul-crushing...

Oh, Rebecca.😢 That is such a heavy thought, though I have to admit, there's a certain heartbreaking truth to it that hits home for me too. Hang in there, 🙂

Martian7 said:Of course, there are resources out there for anyone dealing with mental health struggles: ludrug hvala

Thanks so much. I've actually heard of them before, so I think I might just head over there this coming Monday. 😉

Does anyone know if there's a support group out there specifically for people dealing with schizophrenia who are also struggling with depression?

I've found that while medication can help manage hallucinations, tackling the depression side of things is an entirely different beast altogether.

Adam Morris4 said:I’m not saying there isn't any writing here, but I can't help but philosophize a bit since dopamine really is the engine behind our motivation and reward systems... It’s like, if I accomplish this task or that goal, I feel a surge of satisfaction... whereas serotonin is more about that general sense of being okay, just feeling good in your own skin... Whoever cares, I guess.
But honestly, it's true that being on Zoloft right now makes me want to skip out on socializing, but then if I grab a strong cup of coffee, suddenly I’m all chatty again... It’s like when I hit that perfect sweet spot between serotonin and dopamine, I feel unstoppable. When one gets out of whack, everything feels off. Of course, there are tons of other neurotransmitters and complex biological gears turning under the hood too...

As for that serotonin thing, I really felt it firsthand. I realized it when someone was shot right in front of my house—three bullets to the head—and I just stayed completely stone-cold... or even when I walked away from a massive pileup on the interstate and felt absolutely nothing at all. 112 miles/h

I totally get where you're coming from. You're absolutely right about the part in bold, though. Trying to pin everything down to just one specific chemical is a pretty one-dimensional way to look at it. We have about 30 different neurotransmitters in our brains, and an imbalance in any of them can cause issues.
Even if it isn't always the most extreme case, schizophrenia is probably one of the most complex mental health conditions out there, representing a massive disruption in the brain—essentially a widespread imbalance across many different types of those neurotransmitters.

Adam Morris4 said:Harold Anderson3, I’ve been chewing on what you wrote about how healthy, mindful people supposedly have higher dopamine levels, and honestly, I’m not so sure about that... If you ask me, I think they actually have higher serotonin levels instead. That would explain why they seem so centered, positive, and totally in tune with peace and harmony. On the flip side, take someone like me—if I had higher dopamine, I’d probably be constantly revved up, chasing extreme sports, obsessed with caffeine, and always looking for the next rush. And then, if I didn't stay active, all that energy would just spiral into anxiety and restlessness. You wouldn't get that sense of zen or bliss; you’d just be stuck in a permanent state of Fight or flight.

That’s actually how it's explained in the book.
Both dopamine and serotonin play roles in how we feel good and satisfied, but there's a catch: having too much serotonin can lead to a good mood at times when it isn't really helpful, while excessive dopamine tends to drive people to escape from reality.

Jose Ward4 said:What kind of wild ideas are we talking about? I'm genuinely curious. 🤣 Maybe we're seeing the same things.

It's probably better if I keep them to myself 😁

Even if my ideas turn out to be totally off base, they always feel so incredibly logical in the moment, and I find myself feeling completely certain that I've hit on the absolute truth. It’s only when my medication really kicks in that I realize I was completely mistaken.

E: I ended up doing a full factory reset on my phone, and honestly, it's running like a dream again. It looks like I might have picked up some kind of malware along the way, but 😕

Adam Morris4 said:It’s easing up a bit thanks to the Zoloft... Though Boksac certainly knows how to throw a punch and everything else... But man, if you actually manage to get close enough to someone, that grip and raw strength they have is just like being caught by a bear... I’ve heard stories where it takes a whole squad of SWAT officers just to restrain one person because of that sheer force... Or even a girl dealing with schizophrenia who was trying to jump off a cliff, and it took several people just to hold her back...

I struggle with bouts of heavy depression from time to time, those periods where I just don't have any drive left—not for mental work, not for physical tasks, not for sports, really nothing at all. On the flip side, when I'm in a psychotic state, I seem to have an overwhelming amount of energy and interest in everything; honestly, I can often accomplish far more during psychosis than I ever could while feeling healthy and "normal." The real issue is my connection to reality. I start coming up with these wild, irrational ideas, I feel this strange sense of superiority over everyone else, an almost non-existent level of energy, and eventually, the hallucinations start setting in.

Adam Morris4 said:That explains why you guys have such superhuman strength sometimes!

Personally, I feel like when I'm off my antidepressants, my dopamine spikes and I get this massive rush for my workouts, but I lose all my inner peace. I really hope I'm not heading toward schizophrenia, but my OCD feels like a constant internal dialogue—like I'm talking to myself, but it's like two different people in one head...
But I don't HEAR a voice... it's more like I'm just having a conversation with it, you know? Like I'm two people having a chat in my own mind...

We don't actually have superhuman strength; we just really believe we do. 😛
For instance, about a year and a half ago, I got into a scrap with a legit boxer at my university, and I was genuinely convinced I could take him. Then he landed a punch right in my eye with everything he had, and I ended up in the ER at the ophthalmology clinic. To make things even more interesting, I found myself in the psychiatric emergency room later that very same night. 🤣

How is your OCD doing lately? That disorder can be incredibly brutal, and honestly, I think it can be even more taxing than schizophrenia in certain situations.

Robin Lopez2 said:I just want to tell you: stop dwelling on spirituality and religious topics. Don't talk about them with anyone. Just clear them from your mind and things will get easier. All those demons and other nonsense...

I know myself well enough to realize that once I start getting interested in spirituality and religion, it’s a sign that psychosis is starting to creep in. It always happens right when I stop taking my medication. You have to take the pills; they are our only lifeline.

I’ve been in the exact same boat since 2009, and I’ve never really been able to fully step away from my meds.
It seems like every time I feel something "spiritual" stirring inside me, it doesn't take long before I end up back in the hospital.

I actually came across something interesting in a book called *The Human Mind* by Robert Winston, where he mentions that "healthy" believers tend to have slightly higher dopamine levels in their brains compared to "healthy" atheists. Meanwhile, people with schizophrenia experiencing psychosis have drastically elevated dopamine levels. If you follow that logic, it suggests that even healthy believers are just a little bit disconnected from reality. Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing, though... I honestly haven't a clue. 😛

@Carol Barrett2, I don't think there's much of a distinction between schizophrenia and bipolar disorder when you look at it from a pharmacological perspective. Most of the antipsychotics that I’ve been prescribed, or that Sam used to take to manage schizophrenia, are also frequently utilized to treat bipolar disorder, essentially acting as effective mood stabilizers.

Matthew Castillo5 said:Actually, Harold Anderson3 said pretty much the same thing you did. So why are you picking a fight with him?

He wasn't telling people to throw away their psych meds; he was specifically warning them *not* to do exactly that.

Of course.
I mean, obviously, there isn't some federal law requiring someone diagnosed with schizophrenia to stay on their medication unless they've been admitted to a hospital. Choosing not to take prescribed meds isn't a crime under US law, but it can be incredibly detrimental—and honestly, potentially dangerous—for both the individual and those living around them.

It’s been three years since we lost the mathematician John Nash. He actually developed game theory, which earned him the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences back in 1994. What I find truly incredible, though, is that he managed all of that while navigating the challenges of schizophrenia. After turning 42, following about eleven years of being treated at various psychiatric hospitals, he decided to step away from that specific type of medical intervention and never took another medication for it again—which, in its own way, is quite a medical phenomenon. His life story was even turned into the Oscar-winning film 'A Beautiful Mind,' with Russell Crowe playing him. Rest in peace.


I just wanted to add one little thought to this: when he was first dealing with his illness, the methods and medications used back then were much more grueling than what we have available today, making them largely obsolete by modern standards. I only mention this because I wouldn't want anyone here to take his lead and decide to reject their own treatment or therapy based on his experience. 🙂

I’m currently tethering my connection through a mobile hotspot using my Apple phone, and I'm running Tomato on my router. The issue is that the connection drops out almost constantly; it stays active for about a minute and then cuts out for another minute before coming back online. It’s this rhythmic, one-minute-on, one-minute-off cycle that’s driving me a bit crazy. Does anyone have any idea what might be causing this kind of instability or how I might go about fixing it?