Posts by Harold Anderson3

Looking back at the last World Cup in Beijing, it was actually a huge surprise to see Kenya come out on top, mostly because they absolutely cleaned up in the middle-distance races and even snagged gold in the men's javelin. Jamaica followed right behind them in second place after sweeping the 100m and 200m sprints, leaving the USA sitting in third. Honestly, I don't think we'll see that same kind of leaderboard shuffle happening this year.

Samuel Lopez9 said:Yeah, I actually told him, "Man, where have you been hiding? I could probably run a marathon faster than that myself."

I don't think it's really about the speed, though; it's more about the fact that he left everything out there on the track. He truly gave it his all.

Adam King6 said:It was really that era when Eastern European female athletes were dominating, and honestly, the men weren't far behind either—it just wasn't always quite as obvious to the naked eye...

I’ll never forget this one statement from a coach back in the CIA days, though they were actually talking about swimming. When they asked him why his female athletes looked so incredibly masculine and had such deep voices, his response was pretty blunt: they aren't here to sing, they're here to swim🤣

quietfox38 said:I was just wondering, why does Britanka Dixon train in one style of running shorts but then switch to a completely different pair for the actual marathon? 🤣

🤣🤣
I didn't quite catch the joke at first, but man, now that I get it, it's absolutely hilarious. 🤣

I suspect it really just comes down to the fact that once these athletes hit the track for an actual competition, they’re all locked into those standardized uniforms, whereas during training sessions, you have much more freedom to just wear whatever you feel like. 😉

What a little troublemaker 🤣 if you actually dared to ask my dad a question like that, he’d chase you down like a stray cat.

cosmicraven27 said:I suppose why one thing gets the green light while another stays banned is a whole other conversation, especially when you consider how much lobbying goes on within the pharmaceutical industry. But at the end of the day, if it isn't on the prohibited list, you aren't doing anything dishonest. Conversely, if you use something that is listed, then you are. It’s really as simple as that.

It is pretty interesting, though, how World Athletics seems to update their lists of permitted and banned substances every single year. You see things that were perfectly fine one year suddenly become banned the next, only to potentially be cleared again later. The actual substances aren't changing, just the policy surrounding them, and I can't help but wonder why that keeps happening...

Daniel Booth37 said:Now, let’s try to be a little realistic here for a moment. Even if we choose to overlook the fact that Gatlin was caught twice using performance enhancers—let's just pretend everyone is clean and focus strictly on the clock—the numbers tell a story. Bolt ran a 9.95 yesterday, which honestly stands as his worst performance in a 100m final to date. It wasn't just a bad run; it was a significant outlier, being a full 14 hundredths of a second slower than his next worst time. Just last year, during that relatively lackluster showing in Rio, he clocked a 9.81. Meanwhile, Gatlin took gold with a 9.92, a time that, under normal circumstances, would probably have Bolt already starting his victory lap by the time you crossed the finish line. If we're looking at this head-to-head defeat, the responsibility lies entirely with Bolt for showing up feeling half-prepared, especially considering he didn't even really need to compete after what happened in Rio. He likely pulled in millions from sponsors, and perhaps even some under-the-table incentives from the organizers just to ensure he made an appearance.

I completely agree with this sentiment. It isn't so much that Gatlin put up an incredible time as it is that Bolt simply had a terrible race. In my eyes, this was actually a worse outing for him than that incident six years ago when he was disqualified for a false start. That being said, none of this takes away from everything he has contributed to the world of track and field over the last decade or so.

Does anyone know where I can find a free stream for the World Championships? I'm really hoping to catch Bolt running, but I don't have a TV in my apartment 😢

slystag4 said:It’s honestly a bit wild how much some people seem to dislike Justin Gatlin.

I mean, the guy has clearly put in his time. Coming back to compete at the very top of the world after being away from the track for eight years is no small feat. Even if you aren't a fan, I feel like you have to respect that kind of comeback.

They bumped him down to 4th.
Personally, though, I still have a feeling Bolt is going to walk away with the gold in the 100m.

ambertrucker3 said:It feels like this upcoming World Championships is going to be a pretty heavy one, honestly—it’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that we're finally saying goodbye to Usain Bolt.

There’s been a lot of talk lately about how Wayde van Niekerk might be the defining figure of this World Championships, especially with rumors swirling that he’ll be stepping up to run both the 200m and the 400m. If that actually happens, maybe the event won't turn out to be quite as underwhelming as some of us are fearing. 😉

I decided to quote myself from a previous thread with the exact same title, though I have to admit that one went by relatively unnoticed.

Harold Anderson3 said:We’re officially just two months away from what will likely be the biggest sporting event on the planet this year. In those years when we aren't dealing with the Olympics or the massive international soccer tournaments, the World Athletics Championships—alongside the World Aquatics Championships—really stands out as the absolute pinnacle of competition.
This year, the competition is heading to New York City from August 4th to the 13th. It’s actually quite a big deal because this marks the most significant event ever held at that stadium since the 2012 Olympics.
I’m really hoping for a great championship this year, and maybe we'll even get to witness a new world record or two.
Looking back at some of the more significant records that have been broken recently, I should probably mention... Wayde van Niekerk Thinking back to last year during the Olympic Games in Rio, specifically when they were running the 400m... Ashton Eaton It feels like just yesterday that I was watching the Decathlon unfold at the World Championships in Beijing two years ago, and honestly, the memory still lingers. David Rudisha It’s been five years since those 800m races at the 2012 Olympics in New York City. I only brought up the runner mentioned earlier because that specific performance actually took place right there in this stadium. As for the women's side, it was an Ethiopian athlete who really made her mark. Almaz Ayana (2016 Rio Olympics - 10,000m) Genzebe Dibaba (2015 - 1500m).
It looks like we might finally be seeing the end of an era, as word is getting around that Usain Bolt and Mo Farah will both potentially hang up their spikes after this upcoming World Championships.
When it comes to our American representatives, anything other than what we see from throwers like Sandra Perković and Sara Kolak would honestly be a massive surprise.

bluedrifter45 said:Does anyone actually know what psychological testing looks like in practice? I suppose it’s just a mountain of multiple-choice forms, based on what I’ve heard, along with some repetitive reciting of stories and numbers, and then that's it, plus the interview. Is there anything else to it, I guess?

I was officially evaluated only once, right at the onset of my first psychotic episode over eight years ago. Usually, you deal with two distinct types of tests: one focused on emotional state and another for IQ. Once those are finished, you sit down for a conversation with a psychologist. That’s really all there is to it. It isn't a bad experience, though I wouldn't say it's incredibly helpful since psychologists aren't authorized to prescribe medication—and when you're dealing with schizophrenia or other psychotic disorders, getting the right pharmacotherapy dialed in is the most critical part of the whole treatment process.

Rebecca Rivera3 said:I doubt there’s any medication out there actually capable of manufacturing feelings. What do you even do when you feel completely hollow inside? When you can't love, can't feel anything at all... life is defined by emotion, and without them, everything feels meaningless. What happens when you find yourself unable to give a genuine laugh? To love, or even to be loved... it's a heavy realization. This world can be a sad place—and my own world often feels even worse.

Rebecca Rivera3, those emotions are still there deep down inside you.🙂 I can tell just from reading your posts that you have such a warm, sensitive soul; you're clearly a very feeling person, even if you're struggling through a lot of sadness right now. I truly believe things will eventually balance out for you, though I suppose that ultimately depends on your own journey. And if we're being honest, I think the same applies to me, if you know what I mean.😉

bluedrifter45 said:They gave me 200mg/1ml, so I suppose that’s a lower dose. Before this, I was taking 5mg tablets twice a day. I’m just hoping everything works out okay.

Yeah, that is definitely a smaller dose, staying under 10 mg a day. Personally, I take 30 mg daily, though if I start feeling like it’s too much and I can't stop sleeping, I'll drop down to 15 mg for a few days, just to be safe. Honestly, I'm not really vibing with this new doctor I was assigned after my hospital stays back in December and January. I think I might try to switch back to my old physician.

By the way, this thread has really started picking up lately; there used to be times when ten posts in a row would all be mine, but now we've got about five different people contributing. Please, keep posting—it feels good to have this space where we can share our experiences and look out for one another. 👍

bluedrifter45 said:Hey everyone, does anyone here have any actual experience using Abilify? I just got hit with a month-long injection today... they framed it as some kind of "mood stabilizer," if you can believe that... I guess we'll see

Hey, I mentioned in the post above that I’m actually on the maximum dose of that medication, though I take it in pill form. They say it doesn't bring your mood down quite as much as other antipsychotics, but when you're hitting that top dosage, I find myself drifting into some pretty depressive thoughts. To be fair, I can't be entirely certain if it's the medication itself, since I've been struggling with depression for quite a while now regardless of what I'm taking. As for the shot, they likely gave you the injection because it's the most reliable way to ensure you stay consistent with your treatment. I actually stayed on Risperdal for seven years for that exact same reason. Don't worry too much, things will turn out okay. All things considered, it's a solid medication, and it's actually one of the newer ones being widely used here in the States.

Richard White8 said:Here is some validation regarding psychotropic medication. I have taken Azolar, Moditen, Haldol, and Zeldox. I was on Zeldox the longest—monotherapy, starting at high doses of 2 x 80 mg, then tapering down to 80 mg, then 60 mg, and finally 20 mg. After one year and nine months of continuous antipsychotic use, I have successfully eliminated my auditory hallucinations. Yes.
My diagnosis is F23.2—acute psychotic disorder, schizophrenia-like.
Alongside those, I took Xanax and Prazin. I am still taking those. However, I haven't touched the 20 mg dose of Zeldox for about a month now. Everything is fine; the voices haven't returned. Additionally, I suffered from severe obsessive-compulsive disorder—obsessions with symmetry and repetitive actions performed up to 50 times under the influence of the voices. That has also passed; the compulsions are gone.

This is a success for me, but I am now experiencing depressive episodes that I didn't have before, including suicidal ideation. It is mostly tied to being unemployed. I did not tell my psychiatrist that I stopped the antipsychotic. She considers the current dose to be negligible regardless.

Yes, I have tried antidepressants like Fevarin and Zoloft, but I had to stop them because they caused insomnia.

Also, I was recently prescribed Diazepam because my sleep quality has declined since I stopped the antipsychotic.

Was it wise of me to stop the antipsychotic on my own, given that the dosage has been minimal for the last six months?

I decided to try life without it because the symptoms are gone. Furthermore, Zeldox completely dulled my appreciation for the beauty of the world; everything became banal and boring, and it absolutely crushed my libido. I don't know when my libido will return. Is the loss of libido irreversible, or is there hope for recovery?

Even though you seem to be doing okay right now, there's a very real possibility that the psychosis will return once the antipsychotics are out of your system. 😢 And if that happens, that little 20 mg dose of Zeldox won't cut it; you'll likely find yourself right back at the beginning (80 mg, 60 mg, and so on).
I don't mean to scare you; I'm just speaking from my own experience and what I've seen with others living with psychosis.
You mentioned how Zeldox took away the beauty of the world. That’s a fair assessment, but those meds are what keep you grounded in reality. You really have to find that sweet spot where the dose is high enough to keep you satisfied and present, but not so high that you drift off into the clouds and lose touch with reality due to dopamine levels.
Also, experiencing these depressive episodes and such drastic mood swings isn't a great sign; it's possible you might already be slipping back into psychosis. 😲, and I honestly wonder how you're managing it without medication. Try not to let the unemployment get to you too much; people don't usually kill themselves over joblessness unless they're truly starving.
I know being on antipsychotics is tough. I'm personally taking the maximum dose of Azolar (and sometimes, when I'm feeling particularly low, I'll take half a dose for a few days—so, I mess with my chemistry too 😛), but I would strongly suggest talking to your psychiatrist before things escalate to the point where you face an involuntary hospital stay. In my opinion, you probably need at least a minimal dose of an antipsychotic if you want to prevent the psychosis from returning in full force.
Anyway, that’s just my honest take. Ultimately, the choice is yours, and it's best to make it while you're still feeling relatively stable.

Rebecca Rivera3 said:I hit a depressive patch today, though I’m hoping it isn't a severe one... I'm hanging out on the forum, which usually means it's manageable; otherwise, I wouldn't even be posting. Still, I slept through most of the day and barely ate anything—just half a sandwich before retreating back to my bed in a dark room.
Harold Anderson3, do you and Diego go running? I find myself doing that occasionally when I can actually muster enough willpower to live, haha.

As for running, I've actually been at it for a few years now, and I managed to complete both a marathon and a half-marathon earlier this year.🙂

And please, you really need to eat! Your brain relies on glucose from food just to function properly. Beyond that, I’d definitely suggest looking into B vitamins—either by eating more foods rich in them or taking a supplement. B-complex is absolutely essential for keeping your central nervous system running smoothly.

Rebecca Rivera3 said:I hate it when they act like I’m completely devoid of emotion, especially since that isn't always the case. I often experience very intense feelings, even if they don't last long before the emotional numbness kicks in...
Don't try to comfort me... except for the hope that one day all of this will just be a bad memory.

You see, people who haven't dealt with these struggles just can't wrap their heads around it... but honestly, feeling apathetic is a completely normal part of living with this illness. You shouldn't feel guilty about experiencing those states, Rebecca, because you aren't doing anything wrong. But unfortunately (assuming we are looking at a schizophrenia diagnosis here, the question is 😉), these episodes are going to happen. People dealing with schizophrenia aren't bad people by nature, but they tend to have incredibly turbulent emotional landscapes. In fact, that's one of the defining traits of the condition. For me, it's a constant cycle of depression, mania, apathy, and psychosis. The only difference is that our timelines vary; lately, depression has been the dominant note for me, which is easily the hardest and loneliest phase for anyone struggling.
P.s. I'm actually doing alright today; I even went out for a run earlier 🙂 some girls over by the waterfront asked if I could film them on my phone while they worked out, so I guess my social side made a brief appearance, haha.

Rebecca Rivera3 said:I’ve been away for a few days... and reading through Harold Anderson3's recent breakdowns makes me feel terrible that I wasn't here to offer support. I really hope he’s hanging in there and that this phase starts to pass soon. Harold Anderson3, your mood swings seem incredibly intense... mine aren't quite like that. When depression hits me, I can stay stuck in bed for weeks or even months; I just sleep, eating and drinking the bare minimum just to survive, which is such a struggle. I don't leave the house or talk to anyone—I look like a zombie. My family is pretty used to it by now; they’re just waiting for the moment I finally get up and start "functioning" again.

It seems like a lot of people deal with vision issues, so maybe we have that in common... my myopia is high, I have primary glaucoma, and my macular degeneration is progressing, haha... just wonderful, right? I'll be happy if I don't go blind... but anyway, that's not the point right now. Regardless, welcome to the club.

Last summer I fainted, though I never looked into why... and then yesterday, my body and consciousness just gave out again. Cold sweat, sounds muffled, brain fog, and then total blackout. I have no idea what's happening to me. Maybe I should get an MRI, which would probably be ideal, but my doctor can't stand me, and if I actually go to see her, she'll just brush me off. I found out today that my grandfather has epilepsy... is that hereditary?

Oh, and I also see those floaters in my field of vision, and some days my sight is so bad that I bump into everything. I actually ended up with a bruise on my face because I walked straight into a door, haha... it's awful... but I'm trying.
Everyone looks at me as this beautiful, smart girl since I'm currently working on my second degree, but I'm terrified that I won't finish.

Rebecca, thank you for thinking of me; it means a lot that you see and understand how hard this all is.
Actually, I found out today that I passed one of my exams. I'm not even sure how, though—maybe the professor was being more lenient, because I really didn't think I'd make it.
Of course you are beautiful, smart, and such a lovely, kind person; please don't let these struggles pull you away from the path you're on.
As for me, this is my third attempt at college. I'll probably finish it this time, though I walked away from the second one—third time's a charm, right? 🙂
You should definitely go for that MRI, especially if you don't have to pay out of pocket, since those scans can be so expensive.
Physically and neurologically, I am perfectly healthy, but I still have what I have. My mother indirectly developed a dozen other health issues—diabetes, high blood pressure, gallstones—all because her quality of life was so poor due to her schizophrenia.
Sometimes I wonder what the point of all this struggle is, what the purpose of it all, but then again, who doesn't have problems? I suppose some people don't, but plenty of people do. It's sad how those whose lives have been easy often lack any empathy for people struggling; there are so many of them, and people can be so selfish until life finally gives them a reality check.

bluedrifter45 said:Thanks for the response. I think I can agree with them regarding those adjustment disorders and various personality combinations... you know, the F60 stuff. Personally, I feel like the definition of psychosis could be interpreted differently, and that occasional, deliberate attention-seeking through inappropriate behavior—which is always under control, mind you—wouldn't necessarily be what I'd call psychosis, but fine. What really rubbed me the wrong way in the report was how they noted that while I deny sensory distortions, like hallucinations, they "cannot be ruled out with certainty." My blunt insistence that I have never heard or seen anything that isn't actually there clearly didn't satisfy them. God, this pseudoscience is exhausting...

Would you mind sharing which medications you're currently on?
I've always felt it’s a bit nonsensical to ask someone, "Are you hearing or seeing things that aren't there?" Because if they actually are experiencing hallucinations, then to them, those sensations are completely real, making it impossible to give a simple "no" answer. You can really only gauge the situation by observing how a person interacts with the world around them.

bluedrifter45 said:Hey everyone, I have a quick question... I was wondering how many of you, following an F23 diagnosis—you know, those acute and transient psychotic disorders—eventually received a diagnosis of schizophrenia or perhaps something even more severe? I guess it’s just on my mind. Thanks.

For most people, yes. Generally speaking, a schizophrenia diagnosis isn't handed out right after the first psychotic episode; usually, it happens after a second one if things recur, even if the symptoms feel pretty much identical. So, if this is happening to you, please don't just stop your medication, because if the psychosis returns, that's when it becomes much easier for doctors to label it as schizophrenia. Aside from the actual diagnosis change, nothing fundamental shifts—you still need to stay on your meds. My only concern is that each subsequent episode tends to be more intense, which unfortunately means the recovery process gets longer and harder every time.😉