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Alright. My health is a mess. Physically. And I feel like nobody takes me seriously—they just write everything off as me being lazy.
So. On May 19th, I went through sepsis and hit septic shock. They put me in an induced coma for about seven days. After that, I spent a month fighting off severe pneumonia.
The fallout is still happening.
Here’s what I’m dealing with four months into recovery:
-Weight gain
-Missed periods
-Hot flashes—cold sweats on my face and back that literally drip like someone poured water over me
-Erectile dysfunction—haha, just kidding—total loss of libido
-Vaginal dryness
-Neuropathy—nerve pain all over my body
-Right hamstring feels paralyzed
-Numbness in the front of my left foot
-Insomnia
-Extremely dry, sensitive skin that reacts to UV rays—a few minutes in the sun and my arms turn bright red. I have to use medical-grade baby lotion just to shower.
-Hair loss on my arms and legs—especially my thighs
-Not long ago, my hair was coming out in clumps when I brushed it. Thank God that stopped. Luckily, I have thick hair, so the thinning isn't super obvious.
-Zero stamina—after walking for five minutes, I'm sweating and gasping like I just ran a sprint.6.2 miles
All of this has triggered depression. Antidepressants are basically just keeping me afloat so I don't sink completely. But I've withdrawn into myself so much that even basic tasks, like going to see my doctor once a week, feel impossible. There's a mountain of specialist appointments to get through. I don't know what to do. Honestly, I'd rather they just admit me to an internal medicine ward at a place like Mayo Clinic or Johns Hopkins so they can run every single test right there in the hospital. Is that even a thing?...
Has anyone else gone through something like this?
But seriously.
Regarding religious discrimination... we all know the drill.
But honestly, it’s different for everyone, so you can't just paint everyone with the same brush.
I went to elementary school in a tiny town where everyone knew everyone else's business. When I started first grade back in '94, it was common knowledge that I had been baptized much later than the rest of my classmates. Most kids in my group were baptized right after birth—back in the late eighties before '91. My parents were actually pretty rare in that area because they had both been members of the Democratic Party back in the day. Mom made sure I was baptized just to avoid any drama at school; back then, it was basically unheard of to skip religion class.
In first grade, I had Sofia as my teacher. Not only did she tank my GPA by constantly giving me failing grades in religion, but she also clearly took her grudge out on all thirty kids in the room. And kids? They follow whoever is in charge. It didn't stop me from passing first grade with straight As, though. Religion was the only subject where I couldn't pull off an A. She actually tried to drag my grade down to a C. There’s no way I was dim enough to ace Math and English but fail religion. I think my main teacher stepped in, though. She probably thought it was insane that among all my As, I had such a low mark in religion. Somehow, thanks to that intervention, my grade miraculously jumped from a C in the first semester to a B or an A in the second, letting me pass with the As I actually earned.
Back then, religion held massive sway in my hometown. The Church and its people had power like something out of the Middle Ages. Those classes were awful. Sofia would belittle me in front of everyone... and I could feel the eyes of the other kids on me. They looked at me with such contempt, and they seemed genuinely thrilled whenever Sofia slapped another failing grade in my book, usually accompanied by some loud comment for the whole class to hear.
Life isn't black and white, though. After first grade, Sofia moved on. In second grade, I got Mary. Now, Mary knew a few things about me and my family, but she focused on what actually mattered. She knew our situation: my dad was disabled, my mom was partially disabled, and we were struggling. We were poor. One priest used to visit us every week, bringing fruit and sweets for me. Mary knew all this, so she brought me into the church choir. Every time I showed up, she’d quietly tell me to head to the kitchen so they could give me a snack, because I was often hungry and it showed.
Mary basically rebuilt my reputation and pulled me back into a community where I had been totally isolated.
Luckily, kids don't just follow bad authority figures; they follow the good ones too.
Teachers held so much weight in shaping kids back then. I still believe that holds true today, at least while kids are young.
The reason I say this is because bullying or discrimination from other kids doesn't always stem from how they were raised at home; it often comes from how the primary authority figure at school presents them.
Ethan Scott2 said:I feel like I’m just dropping in out of nowhere here... but I’ve run into a bit of a situation; my first grader is the only kid in the whole class who isn't attending religious education classes (there were two others initially, but they changed their minds right at the start and joined the group, so now he's the odd one out)... so he just sits out in the hallway during those periods drawing or whatever he feels like doing... I mentioned to the teacher that it really bothers me having him out in the hall without any real supervision while class is in session, and she just brushed it off, saying she checks on him a few times and that since he's right by the teachers' lounge, the principal and all the other faculty are basically right there... I tried pointing out that if something were to actually happen to him... well, we all know how quickly things can go sideways, right?... So, what can I actually do about this... the library hours don't line up with the religious ed schedule at all... who am I supposed to talk to, and is there even any way to change how this is being handled?
We actually worried about this exact thing when we enrolled him and the religion class question came up. We asked if there was an alternative subject if he didn't take religion. They said no. But they didn't mention anything else, like what our teacher told us at the back-to-school night. In our case, maybe five kids don't take religion, and they're all looked after in the library doing crafts or something. It's basically a creative workshop. They even bragged about what they made; when my kid heard that, he said he'd much rather do that than religion. Now I'm wondering if it's too late to switch him over.
If things stay like this... I’m going to keep making noise about it. He’s going to keep bringing it up to the teacher. Eventually, it’ll just mess with his grades and cause more headaches.
I don't know what we were thinking during enrollment. My husband is an atheist, so he thinks I'm overreacting.
But I'm stressed because my kid keeps questioning my actual beliefs, and I hate feeling like I'm forcing something on him that I don't even believe in myself.
I feel like an idiot.
I’ve got another issue on my hands. See, I studied philosophy and religious studies, which involved diving deep into the Bible from a pretty broad perspective. I won't get bogged down in the weeds here, so I'll try to keep this brief. I consider myself a theist—I believe in God as some kind of Higher Power. But I'm not "religious" in that sense; I don't subscribe to a specific cult, a set of morals, or a doctrine forced on me by some organized community.
The Bible is all about interpretation. It feels pretty hypocritical when Christians use that logic to defend scenes where Yahweh rains down sulfur on people, yet they refuse to let anyone else interpret things their own way.
When I was digging through the Bible from a phenomenological perspective, the whole dynamic between God and Satan was what really grabbed me. Once I moved past that, I found myself just as hooked on the tension between Jesus and Satan.
I'm not saying this is my personal belief system or anything. I’m just reporting what I read straight out of the Bible.
I don't buy the whole "Satan as some evil entity" thing. Personally, I think evil lives inside people. Honestly, I wouldn't even call it evil—it’s just human weakness or, in some cases, mental health struggles. Because of that, I reject the idea of Hell, too. The God I believe in is on a much higher level of consciousness than our tiny brains can even process, so the concept of eternal suffering just doesn't track with me. I believe that when we die, we finally face the truth about our mistakes. Most of the time, we mess up simply because we don't know better. It makes sense to me—it's basically what Socrates argued.
I’m stuck in this weird tug-of-war. On one hand, I really don't want to force my faith on my kid or indoctrinate them. But then, I can't exactly stand there and be a hypocrite by nodding along to everything their teacher says in class, because frankly, I don't agree with half of it. Every time they come to me with a question, I just end up saying, "Well, that's what Christians believe." It's a total mess. They know we identify as Christians—at least on paper—so I'm basically just leaving them confused.
Ever since we started talking about Lucifer, he’s become obsessed. He wants to hear that story every single day.
After years of digging through the Bible, I’ve come to a realization: Lucifer isn't some villain in this story. He’s basically just Prometheus from Greek mythology—punished simply because he showed humanity what Yahweh actually gave us. He handed us free will and the capacity to learn. I started looking at it through a psychological lens and realized it’s a classic father-son dynamic. It’s like that cliché where a dad refuses to let his son go to Juilliard because he’s dead set on him becoming a surgeon. The son goes to drama school anyway, and the dad just spends the rest of his life being disappointed and constantly getting in his head about it.
The Old Testament makes it pretty obvious how low Satan will sink just to catch a glimpse of his father's mercy. He’s basically doing Yahweh's dirty work, hoping that if he plays the part, his dad might finally accept him for who he is. Then you get to the New Testament and the arrival of Jesus Christ—the new son. And this new kid follows "all the Father's will" to a T. Suddenly, Satan transforms from that pathetic little loser we saw in the Old Testament into this massive, powerhouse personality. He’s actually bold enough to approach Jesus and offer him the kingdoms of the world. That whole dynamic between Jesus and Satan really hooked me. It feels like Jesus is actually Satan's younger brother, except unlike Satan, he carries both a divine nature and a human one. It makes me wonder: is Satan just jealous of his little brother? Is his whole goal just to hurt him? Honestly, I don't think so. From the very beginning, Satan hasn't really harmed humanity; he just gave us the realization of what we actually possess and showed us that we don't have to be Yahweh's slaves. Yahweh, though? He’s such an egotist. He loses himself in this neurotic loop over the fact that he wanted humans to be made in his image—free, sure, but not *too* free. Like he wanted a porcelain doll with a soul.
Look, here’s my take on Jesus. Basically, Satan decided he was done dealing with his daddy issues and started building his own identity. He ended up with a younger brother, Jesus, whom he’s dying to bring onto his side. He wants to play the mentor, sharing his insights so they can eventually team up as brothers and fix the massive mess made by Yahweh’s scattered personality. Ever since Yahweh created Adam and Eve, the guy’s been all over the place—constantly losing his cool, punishing everyone, showing mercy, then pivoting back to punishment. It’s exhausting. Of course, Satan hasn't a clue what the hell the old man is actually playing at, but now that Jesus has arrived, he’s ready to brush off the old man who can't make up his mind and try to pull this new potential into his circle.
This is just how I’ve interpreted everything from the Bible.
Personally, I refuse to let some outside force take the fall for human error. I don't want to raise my kid thinking they can dodge responsibility by saying, "Oh, someone else made me do it." That's nonsense. Use your brain. You make your own choices.
The other day, my little guy starts telling me about what they covered in Sunday school. He's going on about this dark, twisted, dangerous, evil devil, and I’m sitting there tripping over my words trying to explain that life isn't just black and white—and that Satan isn't some literal personification of evil. But how do you explain that to a seven-year-old?
I’m honestly considering pulling him out of those classes.
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Nicole James said:Dear parents—if you’re looking for advice, just go ahead and enroll your kids in religious education classes. I can promise you, they certainly won't walk away learning anything bad...
Honestly, I think trying to force this stuff on kids just backfires. It makes them want to rebel even more.
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Brandon Lopez6 said:Starting my taper off amozyl this weekend. Right now I'm at four tablets every night, and the plan is to drop one pill per week (which is basically how I scaled up originally, adding one tablet each week). I know most antidepressants allow for a slower taper, but you just can't—and shouldn't—cold turkey amozyl. Honestly, I’m second-guessing myself already. Is dropping one a week going to be too much of a shock to the system? Should I maybe play it safer and only drop a pill every two weeks instead? Or should I stick to the seven-day window? Any advice would be huge.
Oh, one more thing... my Xanax was shaped like a triangle, so there wasn't a line to break it. If yours has a score mark on it, just snap it in half.
Charles Wright said:Like I mentioned here once before, I never really knew much about antidepressants. I just took whatever was prescribed, and they mostly helped me get by. Reading through this thread, I get the impression that some people using these meds have put in a lot of work to learn the ins and outs—maybe even knowing more than the doctors who prescribe them. I've always wondered how an SSRI or an SNRI might affect someone who isn't actually dealing with depression. Could they act as a sort of stimulant to boost mental or physical performance in certain areas? Also, I was wondering how advisable it is to engage in intense physical exercise while on these medications, and if there are higher risks for things like collapsing or similar issues. For instance—just speaking hypothetically—I might have gone through a bit of a test a few months back. I had to deal with some urgent manual labor, and without pausing my 30mg daily Prozac regimen, I was lifting fairly heavy loads every day for over a month. Not to mention how much fluid I lost, since I tend to sweat more than usual because of the medication... So, maybe someone here knows more about this and could share their thoughts. It would be helpful.
Antidepressants, especially the Zoloft you mentioned, can give you a sense of "fake" energy. You don't realize how much you've overextended yourself until much later.
silentpuma3 said:Could they actually hold me for observation because of this?
Look, you don't just roll into the ER at a place like Bellevue and expect a lockdown. You call your psychiatrist instead. Tell them ever since you started the meds, you've been dealing with suicidal thoughts. That's considered "normal" side effects for basically any antidepressant. If hospitals had to hold everyone for observation every time that happened, they'd need to build 30 more psychiatric facilities just to handle the emergency rooms. :-D
restlesstiger49 said:I didn't experience those specific thoughts directly, but I’ll be honest—when I bumped my dose from 50mg to 100mg, I felt so terrible that I just wanted everything to stop. That feeling finally vanished once I stopped taking the Prozac.
I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow.
So, did you end up sticking with Wellbutrin or switching back to Paxil?
silentpuma3 said:Is anyone else taking Fevarin experiencing this weird sense of derealization, nausea, or being totally haunted by dark, suicidal thoughts?
Does this actually pass?
I dealt with full-blown derealization and lost my appetite completely. But I didn't get the suicidal thoughts. You really need to call your psychiatrist about that.
Give me a break. I’m not letting anyone mess with my head.
I spent three years drowning in this stuff... and don't even get me started on the dosages. We're talking pills that make Xanax look like candy. Even before I was pregnant or dealing with childbirth, I was already stuck on some nasty cocktail of meds.
I finally quit about a month ago, and now? My brain is back in high gear, racing a thousand miles an hour, and I can't shut it off for the life of me.
And yeah... I’ve got these "cognitive issues" since stopping the meds, which is ironic because I’ve never felt more "cognitively aware" in my entire life.
I actually find myself feeling nostalgic for that medicated brain—the one that barely functioned at 1% of what people usually use.
brightsailor76 said:Is it actually worth pairing medication with psychotherapy? I’ve heard some talk suggesting that therapy doesn't really do much once you're north of 25.
🤦 ...man, I really miss those old-school, high-quality trolls... 🙂
What happened to today's generation? They don't know anything.
restlesstiger49 said:I actually rolled one up and smoked it... honestly, I think I felt a bit depressed the very next day.🤷 🤣
When I was venting about it, I was just like... WTF? And then I passed out. 🤣
shadowbear9 said:I wasn't pregnant. I don't want to be. EVER. NOPE. Just... gross.
Honestly, I'd rather have someone fillet me alive. But whatever.
And then you can just load up on psych meds as much as you want. :-p
Mark Diaz75 said:Do you seriously expect everyone else to read people the same way you do?
All that nonsense... the bickering... the crap... it's not even worth remembering.
I don't.
You're predictable, and frankly, arguing with you is already getting boring.
shadowbear9 said:When I decided to stop taking the unknown, I actually reached out to my local doctor to ask what I could take instead to help with the depression. They suggested lemon balm tea, and honestly, it actually helps a little bit, so maybe you should give that a try....
If you want lemon balm to actually work, steam it. Put it in boiling water and breathe in the vapors. You use less, it goes straight to your brain, and it hits faster. Plus, there's less risk for the baby.
We're talking about pregnancy here, right?
Mark Diaz75 said:Look, Gama, just keep that to yourself like he usually does. Can't you see there's something kind of fun about him messing with you?
Actually, that's all part of the fun—if you don't find it funny, well, that's your loss.
Or maybe you should go find some ultra-high-end Psychic elsewhere, since we're only doing "virtual" diagnoses here...
And your cheap sarcasm is just great.
What’s with this finger-pointing? He did this... she did that... Give me a break. Wtf?
When I showed up to the first meetup, I wasn't on good terms or bad terms with anyone. Which was the worst part... I didn't even know which handle belonged to whom for the first hour. I need to look people in the eye to actually get them. All those petty arguments flying around the forum? They completely vanish once I'm standing there. I have no clue who said what or who was talking trash on which thread.
Seriously, why do you even care, and how old are you anyway?
Gama, for God's sake, grow up. If this guy bothers you, just keep it to yourself. You’re putting everyone on edge, and at this rate, nobody's going to show up. Is that really what you want? Trying to blow up the whole group or something?
Mark Nelson said:That’s exactly how Zoloft worked for me. It made me feel totally euphoric, and I honestly couldn't sleep at all. I actually ended up dropping about 15 pounds while I was on it a couple of years back.
I think Zoloft and Prozac act pretty similarly, though Zoloft felt a bit milder to me. At least, that was my experience.
shadowbear9 said:I took my Seroquel last night 🤔 and stayed awake until 7 AM—this time I did it on purpose, I wasn't sleepy, I was just listening to music, whatever... I really can't wrap my head around how someone can't fall asleep within two or three days of taking 100mg. I mean, back when we were in the hospital, there were three or four of us who were given Seroquel, and we spent about 80% of our time sleeping, being so calm and quiet that the patients in the other rooms were actually making fun of us. But I stayed awake 🤷 to me, it feels like if I just lie down normally and try to drift off, I'll pass out... during the first week or two, I felt incredibly dizzy and my heart was racing so fast, I was terrified they had given me a 🥱 massive dose (like 300mg), but now sometimes I take three or four pills... I just really hope this stuff doesn't make me gain weight 🙄
I dropped from 600mg of Seroquel down to 100mg, and now this 100mg dose is absolutely wrecking me. I have no clue how to handle this.
I switched over to 25mg of Lexapro because Seroquel was just hitting me way too hard.
Even though Lexapro is just a generic version, it’s nowhere near half as strong as Seroquel. For me, 100mg of Lexapro does absolutely nothing. But honestly? These 25mg doses actually help me drift off without that crazy dizzy feeling.
Even if I take my 25mg Lexapro, I’m not falling asleep unless I actually crawl into bed first.
I only actually conk out once I hit the mattress.