Posts by Kevin Bailey2

Man, this Effexor... wow. I had some seriously intense dreams while I was on this stuff. Like, nothing short of wild. It felt like being on pure drugs, I'm telling you. The dreams were so vivid—you actually feel them, see colors popping everywhere... honestly, it was tripping. lol.

Are you guys actually certain that antipsychotics aren't addictive?

Specifically... Seroquel.

At first, 25 milligrams at night felt way too heavy—I’d wake up feeling totally groggy—but things leveled out pretty quickly.

Lately, I haven't even been taking it every single night, though I usually take it right before bed. It helps me sleep great. The morning fog is completely gone now.

But last night, I tried going without it and it was a total disaster... I was stuck in this weird half-sleep state all night, tossing and turning, and when morning came, I could barely drag myself out of bed because I was so wiped out.
I mean... it's not like anything extreme is happening. I don't have withdrawal symptoms today... I feel normal enough... but I'm terrified I won't be able to get any decent sleep without the Seroquel.

redcrane22 said:I'm curious, though—how does all this affect your role as a mom?
Do you ever worry that your child might notice, or that you won't be able to be fully present when you're doing things with them?

Not sure I follow. Are you asking how my depression hits my kid, or how being on meds changes things?

I've been on medication long enough now that I can stay steady.

Things got messy back when my psychiatrist would cut my dose just because I’d say "I feel fine," instead of keeping me at a maintenance level. And yeah, I had one moment where I (stupidly) flushed my pills down the toilet. Total amateur move. Completely immature and reckless.

During my worst depressive lows, my kid saw me sleeping a lot. That was it. I was still capable enough to focus on him... even if I had zero energy for anything else.
But I never let him slip. He was never hungry, never dirty, never neglected. Not once. Even when everything feels broken, that maternal instinct kicks in harder than this damn illness ever could.

Back then, I just told him I was sleeping so much because my stomach hurt.

My mom had her own bouts of depression, and since she never sought treatment, it trickled down to me. If she had gotten help, maybe I wouldn't be on meds today. You have to break the cycle.
I know what it's like when your mom talks to you like you're an adult when you aren't... using you as her own personal therapist.
I don't judge her. She didn't know any better.
But I know for a fact I won't put my child through that.

If that was the question?

Or do you think the meds make me look high or drunk?

Austin Garcia3 said:😕 Hey, if you're actually interested in this topic, please re-read my post properly. If you aren't willing to put in the effort to understand, then don't come at me. I really don't think I need to go into the gory details of her abuse, but there was constant neglect—which basically means she didn't even care if I made it home safe, rather than just being strict about curfews—plus the condescension and the endless lying. That kind of stuff is devastating for a child, and honestly, it doesn't get any easier seeing all those lies play out as an adult. There were also plenty of physical incidents that left me with actual scars I still carry today. Given that I never called the cops and instead spent nights locked in my room or hiding in the car, I think I’ve already done more to "help" her than anyone realizes.
I know exactly what’s going on in her life and how much of it is her own fault—I’ve had a front-row seat to it all too many times.
And contrary to what you're saying, the real challenge is finding the strength *not* to feel sorry for her and *not* to visit. Being "mature" would be taking care of myself and avoiding someone who mistreats me—someone who used to push me away whenever I tried to hold her accountable.
I'm not arguing with you for my own sake—I know what happened. It's just sad that someone who claims they'd help anyone is so quick to jump to these kinds of conclusions. You sound just like the people who ask what a woman did to deserve being treated poorly by her husband.

There you go. Self-awareness is the first step toward a solution. Now, hit the gas.

redtiger35 said:Hmm... yeah, that’s what I was prescribed too, mostly because I’ve straight-up become a Xanax junkie, and honestly, I can only take your word for it on tapering off the Klonopin—I’m definitely no expert here. It’s actually kind of hard to wrap my head around when I read this stuff because Klonopin feels pretty weak to me; I can always tell the difference between it and Xanax, which is the one I know I can rely on whenever I really need to chill out or pass out.

Back when I first started, I asked around about how Klonopin works, and everyone just chimed in saying it hits way lighter than Xanax or that it’s just weaker overall. But hey, that's just info, right? I trust my psychiatrist completely and I’m taking everything exactly as prescribed, so I’m really just sharing my own experience. For me, Klonopin definitely feels weaker; when I first started taking it, I barely felt a thing, and zero side effects. To be honest, I haven't had any major issues with any of the meds they've put me on.

How long were you on the Klonopin and what kind of doses are we talking? Since I built up a tolerance to Xanax, I actually started bumping up my doses on my own, so now I’ve got the Klonopin with instructions to slowly taper down the Xanax until I'm totally off it.

Also, how did the Klonopin stack up against xanax for you?

Rivotril is "weaker" in the sense that you don't get that high, drugged-out feeling (which, if I'm being honest, I actually liked sometimes with Xanax 😛 😁). But it actually works more intensely. It clears the fog in your head without you even realizing it's happening. It hits my motor skills, too. Without it, I'm a total klutz. As soon as I realize I'm struggling to even hold a glass, I'll take a quarter—like half a milligram.

Normally, I'm at the max daily dose: 6mg a day split into three 2mg doses. But I usually break those down differently depending on how I feel. Sometimes I'll take a full dose in the morning, sometimes a half in the afternoon, sometimes just a tiny bit.
My psychiatrist actually suggested this approach—just adjusting based on how I'm feeling.

With Xanax, I used to feel totally wasted... basically non-functional.
Rivotril is more like a stabilizer; it almost lifts my mood. I can't even put it into words. On Xanax, I could do nothing but sit there and smoke cigarette after cigarette...
If I have housework to do, I make sure to take Rivotril so it can steady my brain. Again, hard to describe. Once it kicks in, I just look around the apartment, see where things belong, and clean up the mess without any stress or agitation.

redtiger35 said:I’m currently on 15 mg of Lexapro, plus 0.5 mg of Ativan and 0.5 mg of Klonopin at night because I’m trying to wean myself off the Ativan. Honestly, I have to admit that these meds are basically my lifeline. I’ve been on Escitalopram for over a year now, and the biggest win has been the massive drop in my anxiety, phobias, and panic attacks—like, HUGE improvement there—whereas the depression hasn't budged as much. It's still definitely there, just with fewer suicidal thoughts hanging around. The meds pretty much keep me at some kind of semi-functional baseline so I can actually get through the day. My libido has definitely taken a hit, but if I really want to 😁 🤷 I seriously can, though I haven't felt genuinely "horny" in forever—I don't even remember when it was last. Not that I really care about my sex drive right now, since I'm mostly just focused on surviving day-to-day. (I mean, for someone dealing with major depression, a lower libido or putting on a little weight feels like the least of my worries.) I have gained some weight, sure, but my appetite is great and I sleep like a baby. I see my psychiatrist about once a month now because I can't really afford more than that, though twice a month would probably be the sweet spot for me. Psychotherapy is such a huge deal, and honestly, I don't think anyone should be relying on medication without consistent, ongoing therapy to back it up.

God, help us all.

Wait... using clonazepam to get off Ativan?

Look, I'm no expert, so take this with a grain of salt, but Ativan is a total breeze compared to clonazepam in every single way—especially when it comes to physical dependency.

I managed to quit 3mg of xanax and 20mg of Inderal without any issues and without swapping meds. With xanax and Inderal, you build up a tolerance incredibly fast. They just stop working. But quitting (well, for me it wasn't even a "quit," I just stopped because they weren't doing anything anymore).
With clonazepam, though, you can stay on the same dose for years and practically never build a tolerance... but the withdrawal is... 🤮

When I tried the same tapering method with clonazepam that I used for xanax and Inderal, I ended up in the ER. My arms and legs were basically going numb from the withdrawal crisis. I almost went blind. The pain kept me from sleeping. I was pacing around because it felt like something was eating my muscles from the inside out. Like those junkies you see in movies going through heroin withdrawal.

Don't get me wrong, clonazepam is a good drug... it's actually great... provided you realize you'll probably be on it for the rest of your life and there won't be a time when you ever have to try to quit.

Austin Garcia3 said:So, I’m dealing with some heavy stuff involving my mom—she’s been physically and emotionally abusive toward me my entire life.
We don't live together, and I still make visits every now and then. I’ve finally managed to reach this super fragile kind of balance where I just dodge any serious topics to keep the peace, but we still have a relationship. The real issue is that the fighting between her and my stepfather has escalated into physical violence. Honestly, she’s usually the one instigating it more than he is, but since he’s physically stronger, he ends up being the one blamed for everything.
The other day, she sent me a photo of her forehead—there was this huge injury covering half her face that could only have come from a direct hit. Then, she claimed it was just a "rash"?! But right after that, she sends another message showing a massive bruise on her arm. It’s pretty obvious she’s crying out for help, even if she won't say it directly.
I’ve thought about asking her to come stay with me for a bit, but I know that would just open the door for her to abuse me again—and let's be real, she wouldn't even be grateful. She’d probably just take her frustrations out on me. I really don't feel like she deserves me to sacrifice myself like that. I’m in a really vulnerable spot right now with a ton of responsibilities, and I know she’d mentally drain me to the point where I'd lose focus on my work. I’ve already missed out on way too many opportunities because of her outbursts, which always leave me spiraling into depression for months at a time.
Still, I can't shake this feeling that I'm a bad person if I don't step in. I'm even terrified that something might happen to her—like, maybe an accident, like she trips down the stairs.
I'm open to any thoughts or advice you guys might have.

Look, these are two different issues here.
First off, there's the question: "Would you help someone who abused you in the past?" If that stuff is truly in the past, then fine. You hurt me once. It's over.
Yeah, I'd help them.

The second issue is that your mother is *still* subtly abusing you. She plays the victim constantly and uses guilt to manipulate you in every way possible. It’s exhausting. But she’s your mother, and walking away is incredibly hard. You need to gauge how much strength you actually have left to deal with her current mess. Can you look at this objectively and help her... without letting your own emotions get dragged into the mud?
If her situation—which she clearly has no interest in fixing—is hitting you this hard, causing you to spiral into depression and all that... honestly... sorry... but... just walk away. If you can, do it.

Tick said:How old are you? Like, twenty? It’s obvious you’ve never actually stood in front of a classroom of thirty kids. You clearly have zero clue what’s really happening in schools or what those "perfect" students are actually saying to their teachers behind closed doors. And that's not even the half of it. Then there’s the parent-teacher conferences and the endless emails where entitled parents come crawling in to complain about a failing grade their kid earned. Because, heaven forbid, their precious little angel is actually smart and it's impossible they didn't know the material.

Once again, you have no idea what you're talking about. 🙂

Right... at my age, I've dealt with clients who make your "dangerous" and entitled parents look like toddlers. They wouldn't even be in the same league as people who spend 24 hours a day breathing down my neck.

If I were 100% certain she actually called my kid stupid, I’d look her dead in the eye and say: "You're an idiot, you're backward, you're uneducated, your parenting is a total disaster, and you don't deserve anything better than working a shovel in a coal mine for a handful of rice."
Then I’d just smile and ask her how she’s feeling in that moment.

What a load of crap. "It happens to everyone."
Give me a break. She should be fired on the spot.

What other opportunity? What are you guys even talking about?
In my line of work, if a client is being a complete jerk to you, you don't have the right to snap back at them—let alone call a child stupid just because they swapped two letters in a word.

Move everything into the private sector. Every bit of it. Then maybe people will think twice about who's paying their bills.

Larry Lewis said:I called my GP today to get a refill for Seroquel 300 XR, which I've been on for a while now. She basically tells me I've been on it too long and that it's way too expensive, so she refuses to write the script. She didn't even offer a generic alternative—she just flat-out said no. I have a psychiatrist's recommendation for this specific med, and I’ve been taking it for about two years. Usually, they just give it to me without a second thought, but now she's acting like this.

I know there have been some shifts in the healthcare system lately, but I don't buy that a primary care doctor can just deny you a prescribed medication without even mentioning a generic option. That's just plain wrong.

Anyone dealt with this before? Is this becoming a thing?

Every single one of my psychiatric evaluations includes a note stating that the primary care physician can prescribe a different drug from the same class with equal efficacy and dosage. Translation: she should have given you a generic.

Your doctor is being difficult. Tell her to quit stalling and at least prescribe Loquen.

Jason Vaughn482 said:Eating in the middle of the night is a sin, I agree, but I find myself doing it every single night because I’m convinced it helps me sleep... every single night... thank God I haven't become obese, but I have definitely gained weight; I'm at about 136 pounds now when I used to be 130... Calixta certainly had her part to play in that too.

I eat most of my calories at night. I skip breakfast entirely, which is why I'm 128 lbs at 5'11". Now I've even dropped down to 127.

Personally, I wouldn't touch a medication that causes a 65-pound weight gain. Why wreck your organs and your entire cardiovascular system just to drop dead by 40? What's the point of treating depression if you don't survive the cure? It makes zero sense.

If you’ve got the right therapy, earplugs are useless. Our insomnia isn't caused by the noise outside; it's coming from within.
ja when I'm on Prozac and Klonopin without Seroquel, I have to watch my caffeine intake like a hawk. But with Seroquel? I can go wild on all sorts of stimulants because I know I'll just crash out hard at night anyway, regardless of whatever chaos is happening right next to my head.

I’m curious again—why are you guys reaching for hypnotics to sleep instead of antipsychotics, or even just an antidepressant with some sedative properties?

velvetsailor26 said:It really is true what they say about every body being different. I was on 0.5mg of Xanax once a day for three years, and I just decided I was done. I haven't taken it in nine months, and I didn't experience any withdrawal symptoms at all.

Going cold turkey on half a milligram is one thing, but trying it with 6 milligrams? That's night and day.

Chris Kim7 said:How much Xanax are you on? I’m taking 1 mg before bed and I'm planning to get off it... I tried tapering down before, which didn't really work, though I managed to get myself down to 0.25 mg gradually without too much trouble, but then everything just stalled because the insomnia was absolutely killing me, and Ativan wasn't much of a substitute...

6 milligrams. That's 2 mg three times a day.

redcrane22 said:I was wondering if anyone could help me out here...

A buddy of mine who works on merchant ships has been taking 5 mg doses of Valium, but now he’s thinking about switching over to Prazosin instead. His logic is that Valium stays in your system for such a long time that it might show up on his urine screen when he goes in for his medical clearance to get back on the ship. He wants to avoid any unnecessary headaches during those pre-employment physicals.
Are there specific tests they run for diazepam and other types of pills?
From what I understand, the standard drug screens usually focus on things like marijuana, cocaine, amphetamines, methadone, heroin, and suboxone...

I'm not sure about diazepam, but I think taking Prozac can sometimes trigger a false positive for THC on a urine test.

Did I read that somewhere or am I just dreaming? Honestly, who knows. 😁

When it comes to tapering off benzos (in my case, Xanax)... I once had this total fixation. After being on the max dose of Xanax for months, I just decided I was done with all the meds. I went rogue and—stupidly enough—flushed everything down the toilet just so I wouldn't be tempted to take more.

Withdrawal...
Day one... alright, maybe there was still enough concentration in my blood to function somewhat, but by evening, sleep was out of the question.
Day two... the shakes and aches started kicking in. Sleep? Not happening.
Day three... I’m just lying in bed, twitching my leg muscles because they feel so incredibly restless. The pain is everywhere, from my head down. It felt like a massive flu, except even a box of Advil didn't touch it.
Day four... my vision is blurring... I lost at least 50% of my sight. My limbs literally feel like they're giving out. I scramble to the ER at a major hospital and tell them exactly what I did. They hook me up to an IV with Xanax mixed in just to stabilize me, then write me a new prescription to pick up at the pharmacy later. That night, I go back on the Xanax per the doctor's orders.

It took me a few more days to recover from that withdrawal crash, even though I stayed on the same Xanax dosage I was on before.

Total disaster.

I honestly don't know how people survive heroin withdrawal or why people quit heroin so abruptly (I mean when people actually *want* to be clean, not when they're just using Exelon as a substitute for heroin)... but with anxiolytics, you have to taper for months. You go from three pills to two and a half... then eventually two and a half to two... then one and a half... and so on. This can drag on for months. From what I've heard, the physical withdrawal from heavy drugs lasts about a week.

The truth is... what we're taking is clearly a much stronger, heavier drug than damn heroin.

So now I'm wondering... is it actually possible to get off anxiolytics quickly, like within a week, and somehow endure the pain? Like, following the heroin model. You lock yourself in a room for a week and just suffer through it.

Is that too dangerous?

I've detailed how far I got by day four... but would things have just gotten even worse by day five?
I'm not sure.
I genuinely thought I was going to die. That's why I bolted to the ER.
Can the body even handle a sudden withdrawal crisis like that?

Kenneth Scott41, I don't see what's so weird about prescribing Cogentin to people who are on a heavy cocktail of various antidepressants and stabilizers. I know a few folks dealing with much tougher mental health issues than mine—people on way 😬 heavier regimens than I am—who actually take Cogentin just to deal with the side effects of their meds.

Kevin Nguyen3 said:Antipsychotics—APs—exist to treat psychotic symptoms. Or various disorders. Depending on their chemical makeup, most APs also have a sedative effect.
The primary purpose of APs is treating all types of schizophrenia.
However, they can be used for certain non-psychotic disorders too, though usually only for short periods.
There are people out there taking 600 mg of Seroquel every single day and they still can't sleep!
It clearly works the opposite way for you, so you don't need them.
And there is absolutely no talk of getting rid of Amylase. It is a very specific medication, and there aren't many others with those exact properties.
Jane Doe is an AP used mostly for treating psychosis associated with certain somatic illnesses.
But then again, anyone would take it if they had to.
Lexapro is strictly for schizophrenia. When nothing else works, you turn to Lexapro. It’s a heavy, dangerous AP.
Goodness, you have tried just about everything, haven't you?
Looking back at my own experience... hmm... I'm actually surprised you're still standing at all.
Seroquel is the kind of drug that doesn't forgive and it certainly doesn't forget... the side effects are quite frequent and quite dangerous.
I don't know what your diagnosis is, but I highly doubt any doctor would ever prescribe such a massive pile of medications.☕

I've tried a ton of different things because if the side effects hit too hard right at the start, my psychiatrist and I just scrap them. We don't give them a chance to settle in while I'm suffering like an animal.

For example, I took Faverin (an antidepressant with sedative effects) for maybe a week because the side effects were total apathy and a complete loss of appetite... I couldn't even live my life. I told my psychiatrist, and he told me to toss it because the damage outweighed the benefit. He and I are on the same page. If the side effects are that brutal right off the bat, it means my body isn't accepting the drug, and probably won't.

Prozac worked for me immediately. A little nausea and a slight loss of appetite. Nothing crazy. And it started lifting my mood really fast. That's why I've stuck with just that one antidepressant for the last year... or so.

Xanax made me feel depersonalized. So we dropped it. Ativan felt like Prozac at first. A bit more drowsiness initially, but nothing worth mentioning.

Same goes for Seroquel.

There are a billion drugs out there, so I gave myself the luxury of ditching anything that caused overwhelming side effects in the first few days... and moving on to the next one. I'm not going to wait months for side effects to subside just to see if a drug actually works. If it's bad, it's bad, and I'm not taking it more than a couple of times.

I honestly don't get why hypnotics even exist. No offense meant to anyone. I've been on them, and I just don't see the point. They're dangerous. You start hallucinating. And calling what you do under their influence "sleep" is a joke—it’s more like some weird lucid state where you eventually "wake up" feeling completely trashed. Honestly, you'd be better off spending the night digging in your backyard.

When it comes to fixing my insomnia, the winners were definitely Amylase (an AD with sedative effects... though I think they might be pulling it from the market? Or maybe I'm wrong) and Seroquel (an antipsychotic with sedative properties). Under those, you sleep like a baby—and I mean actually sleeping, deep enough that anything further would basically be a coma.😁

Jane Doe doesn't work for me at all. Not sure why.
Lexapro... way too strong. It'll have you shitting yourself in your sleep because of how intense it is, even on tiny doses.
Zyprexa... meh. Just Jane Doe and nothingness.
Prospera... ugh... similar to John Smith. Total crap. It causes this bizarre physical discomfort... like, you can't get comfortable no matter what, every single position feels wrong. It's the strangest kind of restlessness I've ever felt from any pill.

At night, I take 25mg of Seroquel (minimum dose)... but man... my blood pressure is already low (it's down to 90/50 now... used to hover around 110)... and I have to admit, getting out of bed in the morning is a struggle. I handle it with straight black coffee, followed by an electrolyte drink with Prozac (that helps boost it), a multivitamin (like a Centrum Energy with Q10), and definitely a B complex. My nails used to be soft as a newborn's, but now they grow like crazy; people actually ask if I have fake gel nails because they're so tough. If I'm feeling really, really hungover, I'll just slam some pure B12—the stuff athletes use for energy, containing about 4000% of your daily requirement.

I stopped taking Rivotril during the day on my own. Usually, it's prescribed at 3x2mg daily. Now, I only take it in the evening when I don't have any plans. Same goes for the Seroquel—I take it right before hitting the sack.