Posts by Megan White4

Alex Hall4 said:Of course, you’re expecting someone else to step in and handle that for you, right? 🙄

It’s easy to talk big when you aren't the one doing the heavy lifting. Yeah, real easy. :asshole:

You think I haven't tried looking for work? Of course I have. It's just that every single time I bring it up, my mother starts spiraling—it's always some variation of, "Decide if you want to be a student or an employee, because if you start working, say goodbye to your degree." Not to mention she won't stop nagging me until I'm completely exhausted. And yes, I am trying to finish this damn degree; it isn't something that just happens overnight. Also, in case I didn't make it clear earlier, I actually started college back in 2003.

David Palmer5 said:I am NOT approaching this with bias. If anything, I think I was one of the first people here to point out that there are two sides to this story, even though we're only being fed one version of it. By the way, if his mother were truly that horrible, he wouldn't have spent all those years playing student instead of working some 9-to-5 somewhere. It seems a bit naive to assume he's always right while ignoring the facts—like how he's bounced between three different colleges without finishing a single degree, all while earning zero income.
I've also mentioned several times that a person needs to get a job and become independent. At 28 years old, that feels pretty standard and expected to me. Regardless, I think a 28-year-old who has been "studying" for ten years without making a dime is cutting it pretty close to being a parasite.
Once he finally stands on his own two feet, his mom can be a nightmare for the rest of eternity—but then, it won't be his problem anymore.
And honestly? If things were truly that unbearable, he would have moved out a long time ago.

Sure thing! Just find me a job and a place to live, then I'll move...

David Palmer5 said:That's a fair point, but who's to say this woman actually fits that description? All we have is one side of the story coming from a twenty-six-year-old dječarac 🤣

For all we know, what would that mother say about her own son?! 🤷

That dječarac is basically just a head on legs at this point...

hollowbadger24 said:Just keep your distance, man... seriously, just stay away...
I dealt with the exact same kind of drama myself... though it was with both my parents
Fighting about it honestly just makes everything ten times worse...
My advice? Get out of there as soon as you can. Once you're gone, just let the bad stuff go—be that "good son" who gives her a quick call once a week and maybe drops by for an hour or two every other week...
And just like that, problem solved...
Eventually, it’ll sink in for her that she's all alone, and she’ll probably start wondering why things turned out this way...
Maybe find a girlfriend too, so you have somewhere else to hang out and spend your time?
Oh, and grab a side hustle—maybe some campus job or something—because as long as you're financially tied to her, she's got all the leverage...

I’m looking, but for some reason, none of them will have me.

hollowbadger24 said:Just keep your distance, man... seriously, just stay away...
I dealt with the exact same kind of drama myself... though it was with both my parents
Fighting about it honestly just makes everything ten times worse...
My advice? Get out of there as soon as you can. Once you're gone, just let the bad stuff go—be that "good son" who gives her a quick call once a week and maybe drops by for an hour or two every other week...
And just like that, problem solved...
Eventually, it’ll sink in for her that she's all alone, and she’ll probably start wondering why things turned out this way...
Maybe find a girlfriend too, so you have somewhere else to hang out and spend your time?
Oh, and grab a side hustle—maybe some campus job or something—because as long as you're financially tied to her, she's got all the leverage...

I’m planning to look for work this fall... either some part-time gigs or maybe something through a campus job program.

David Palmer5 said:I mean, maybe she just thought it would be a good way to make a little extra cash since you aren't bringing in much right now...
maybe she's just fed up with playing "mom" to someone who's basically been a dependent for three different banks...
and as for driving her grandma to the hospital every day (assuming she's using the car she bought herself), that’s easy enough to fix—just give her the keys and let her figure out her own transportation...

Your assumptions are completely off base. ☕

1. The house sits empty all year long. She decided to rent it out right when I had my vacation planned—right after I spent a month telling her exactly which dates I'd be heading to the coast...
2. The car was left to me by my late father; my mother is actually a better driver than Schumacher, even though the last time she was behind the wheel was about 35 years ago.

😠 And there she goes again, messing things up... I’ve been telling her for a month now that I wanted to head down to the coast on July 20th for a week at a rental house. I finally get home looking forward to it, only for her to drop this: "Oh, I rented out the beach house to a friend for that exact week." Then, she has the nerve to suggest, "Well, if you really want to go, you can just stay an extra week." When, exactly? At the end of August when everyone else has cleared out? 😠

I feel like I’m actually going to lose my mind...

rowdyhawk27 said:It’s actually great that you’re graduating soon and can finally make your escape. Like I mentioned earlier, that’s probably your only real way out. Based on what you've described, it doesn't sound like your mother is mentally ill—as in needing a psychiatrist—she just sounds like an exhausting woman. I don't know how to put it, but I've dealt with plenty of people like that, and there isn't much anyone can do to help.
People like that are either born that way or they become that way as they age.

My situation is a slightly milder version. Since I don't live under her roof, I can just listen without really processing anything; I'll even nod my head like I agree just to keep her satisfied.

My sister, on the other hand, is a completely different person. She ends up getting into heated arguments with her constantly.😁
Honestly, what can you do?

You have no idea how much I’m looking forward to that.

rowdyhawk27 said:It’s actually great that you’re graduating soon and can finally make your escape. Like I mentioned earlier, that’s probably your only real way out. Based on what you've described, it doesn't sound like your mother is mentally ill—as in needing a psychiatrist—she just sounds like an exhausting woman. I don't know how to put it, but I've dealt with plenty of people like that, and there isn't much anyone can do to help.
People like that are either born that way or they become that way as they age.

My situation is a slightly milder version. Since I don't live under her roof, I can just listen without really processing anything; I'll even nod my head like I agree just to keep her satisfied.

My sister, on the other hand, is a completely different person. She ends up getting into heated arguments with her constantly.😁
Honestly, what can you do?

I wouldn't call myself high-strung either, but I definitely inherited a few traits from my late father. Specifically, I can't stand it when someone nitpicks constantly over trivial nonsense; that kind of nagging completely throws me off balance. Also, when I say "no," I mean "no." I don't intend to repeat myself a hundred times. Honestly, if someone doesn't grasp a "no" the first time, I start wondering if they're deaf, suffering from memory loss, or just willfully ignorant.🙄

Peter Rodriguez7 said:Why are we even wasting our energy on them? Our dear Megan White4 clearly doesn't have any more problems since she's been gone for quite some time now.
(Rhyme intended, if you can call it that.)

I don't have problems with Kit Stryborov... things just get worse by the day!!!! 🙄

A week ago my grandmother had a stroke; she's in the hospital now, and I've been driving her there from work almost every day. During the drive, she literally cannot stop talking—constant nagging about how I'm driving, which route I should take, how I park, etc. Honestly, I don't understand how someone can be so dense that they can't just shut up after hearing the same thing for seven days straight. Her constant chatter is incredibly distracting, especially when I'm trying to pull off a tricky maneuver. And of course, it’s always accompanied by her usual routine: "Poor me, I can't say anything, you're so disrespectful, the whole world is against me."

A few days ago, our sink drain started leaking. I told her I'd try to fix it myself, but naturally, she thinks I'm an idiot who isn't capable of anything. It turned into a massive blowout because she insisted I was incompetent and demanded we call a plumber (on a Sunday, no less!). Once I finally managed to get her to quiet down and step aside—amidst her usual "how dare you" remarks—and actually got to work, I had it fixed in fifteen minutes just by tightening some screws and adjusting the seals.

And predictably, she nitpicks every little thing I do as if it were the end of the world, yet whenever something actually needs to be done, she either finds it too difficult or claims she doesn't have the temperament for it. When she needs something, it has to happen immediately; when I need something, she blocks me at every turn. I could go on. She treats me more like a stepmother than a mother.

When my father was alive, he knew how to handle her and could usually quiet her down. Of course, she would follow that up by lamenting about how we're all trash, how everyone is out to get her, and how no one appreciates her (which happens regularly whenever things aren't exactly how she envisioned them). After he passed, it suddenly became, "Oh, my poor husband, how will I survive alone?" She's essentially feeding on her own drama.

Honestly, if every woman turns into an egocentric, self-absorbed, compulsively obsessive, "know-it-all" busybody as they age, God forbid I ever get married!!!!!! I've endured enough as it is, and I'm certainly not such a masochist that I'd voluntarily let someone screw with my head using their fixed delusions.🙄

Right now, my only goal is to finish my degree as soon as possible (thank God I'm a senior, just the final exams left), find a job, and move out.

Joseph Allen94 said:Selling a bokken and a staff...$50- I need to move these quickly since I simply don't have the time for them anymore. I've only managed to get two training sessions in.
0959006070

Could you provide a few more details? What are the dimensions of the staff? Also, what kind of wood was used for the bokken?

Storms build. That’s how you reach victory.
Silver is often won through loss. 😬

electrictiger70 said:Given that you probably can't change her at this stage of life—not to mention adding menopause into the mix, which basically doubles the difficulty—I think your best bet is to just accept this behavior as her "baseline." Don't act surprised when it happens again. You have to adapt to the reality of who she is, and then figure out how to create some distance if her attitude is genuinely wearing you down.

Honestly, it isn't even that unusual. She’s your typical perfectionist; everything has to be done exactly her way, and she won't let anyone else touch anything because she believes she's the only one capable of doing it right. Then you have the victim archetype. She’ll spend three days doing all the laundry without being asked, only to end up frustrated and take it out on you, and if you dare say anything, you're suddenly the ungrateful one. It's textbook perfectionism. In layman's terms? She's a control freak.😁 And people like that are impossible to fix.

Maybe try getting her a dog. Something to shift her focus away from you for a while.🤣

We have a cat, but let’s be clear: the cat runs her, she doesn't run him. I constantly tell her not to let the cat into my room because he inevitably knocks things off my desk—remotes, books, paperwork—while trying to squeeze past me toward the window. Or he'll just roll around on my bed or my clothes, leaving them covered in fur. But does she listen? Of course not. The second the cat even glances toward my door, she’s rushing to open it and letting him right in. No questions asked, no knocking. Honestly, I'm reaching the point where I might need to start locking my door.🙄

And yes, someone hit the nail on the head earlier... She inserts herself into everything (to the point where her attempts to be helpful actually backfire), and if anyone dares to suggest otherwise, she’ll just sulk and lament indefinitely about how hard life is and how unappreciated she feels.

hiddenhawk3 said:Please, I guess there are way worse things than being a student at 27. 😠He's almost done anyway, 🤣
I know people who haven't even finished their degree by 30 and they're still living in their parents' basement.😕

Just a few more months until graduation—then I can finally get to work. 🙄 )...

Well, damn. If the old folks had actually listened to me instead of following everyone else’s advice back when I was picking a college, I wouldn't be in this mess. They insisted on forcing two failed majors down my throat, effectively wasting four years of my life on nothing. It was all under that classic "we know what's best for you" mentality.

Nicholas Bishop46 said:

Yesterday, I asked $67 for gas money because my tank was empty. She immediately started rolling her eyes and complaining about how we can't afford it (though she ended up giving it to me anyway). It’s always the same pattern: suddenly there's no money for basic necessities, yet there's always plenty of cash for her irrational whims and nonsense.

Look, you're 27 years old. Your mother isn't obligated to provide you with housing or food at your age, let alone gas money. Just take the bus. What she chooses to do with her own paycheck is none of your business.
I honestly cannot believe the types of people out there.

Try learning some manners first, then we can talk... :asshole:

Justin Watson58 said:...give me a break. This is hands down the most absurd thing I’ve ever read. It isn't about some grand strategy; it's just a matter of incompetent parents producing incompetent children, while our healthcare system spends a fortune trying to patch up genetic errors. We end up cluttering what we call a "civilized" society with people who essentially run it—people nature would have swept aside long ago if it followed its own rules...

...do you honestly believe top-tier mechanics or high-level executives actually want to deal with someone they didn't hand-pick themselves? I highly doubt it...

..."honor" and "having zero interest in wasting my time on them" are two very different concepts, so I don't see much point in dragging this out further...

There was really no need to engage with comments like that in the first place. 🙄

Jeremy Evans80 said:Do you prefer sharing what you know, or just being the one receiving it?

Of course. A true expert is often more willing to mentor a complete novice.

Those who focus solely on hoarding techniques and skills—refusing to show anything to someone less experienced out of pure ego—aren't masters. They're just arrogant pretenders.

Jeremy Evans80 said:Would you ever open your own club?

Certainly. It's something I've considered, provided the circumstances align—specifically regarding expertise, experience, and finding the right facility. 😁

Scott Sanders6 said:Does anyone actually have experience with the JJ Center over on Broadway?

Not firsthand, but I’ve heard plenty of negative feedback from others. Personally, I’d suggest skipping it.

You’ve certainly piqued my curiosity here.... Where exactly can one go to see or try this out? 🙂

The only issue is that my schedule is completely packed right now, and I'm a bit short on funds for the gear.... 😢

Donna Sullivan7 said:She thinks she’s some kind of genius, but honestly...
she just can't stop meddling and judging everyone else.
Zero clue what's actually going on in the real world.
Her tongue is sharp, too... way too much attitude.
Everything is such a struggle for her (always playing the victim, refusing help but complaining about it anyway)
She wants to call all the shots, but it just won't happen.
Superficial as hell when you talk to her—it's like she's only listening to herself.
Those Sunday family dinners have become so exhausting I've had to start skipping them more often...

Exactly my point.

How do I get my mother to see a psychiatrist?

Amanda Roberts21 said:If we're talking about hoarding—you know, piles of trash, plastic bags, old newspapers, discarded scraps—then YES, that is textbook OCD.

As for your living situation—forget it. You aren't going to change her. It's impossible. Just tolerate it as much as you can and focus on finishing that degree. If you're in your fourth year and only have six and a half months left, plus another six months to wrap up your thesis, you'll be a free man by the end of 2008.

You're lagging a bit behind here—you're a grown man now. There comes a point where the urge to finally move out of your parents' place becomes so intense it starts driving you absolutely insane.

Generally speaking, kids in America stay under their parents' roof way too long. On one hand, you've got unemployment and those sky-high rents in cities like Chicago or NYC, but on the other, parents want to help so much—they make things so comfortable—that it's easy for kids to just stay put. But then, because it's unnatural, they start nagging and guilt-tripping you anyway...

Just remember: you stopped being a kid a long time ago. This isn't your place anymore—which is exactly why you're getting on her nerves, and she's getting on yours. Once that degree is in your hand, it's time to cut ties and move on.

It isn’t quite hoarding trash... it’s more like an obsession with specific items...

Yesterday, I asked $67 for gas money (since I was running on empty)... she immediately started rolling her eyes and lamenting about how we can't afford it (though she did eventually give it to me). It’s as if we lack funds for basic necessities, yet there’s always plenty of money for her irrational whims and nonsense.

Amanda Roberts21 said:If we're talking about hoarding—you know, piles of trash, plastic bags, old newspapers, discarded scraps—then YES, that is textbook OCD.

As for your living situation—forget it. You aren't going to change her. It's impossible. Just tolerate it as much as you can and focus on finishing that degree. If you're in your fourth year and only have six and a half months left, plus another six months to wrap up your thesis, you'll be a free man by the end of 2008.

You're lagging a bit behind here—you're a grown man now. There comes a point where the urge to finally move out of your parents' place becomes so intense it starts driving you absolutely insane.

Generally speaking, kids in America stay under their parents' roof way too long. On one hand, you've got unemployment and those sky-high rents in cities like Chicago or NYC, but on the other, parents want to help so much—they make things so comfortable—that it's easy for kids to just stay put. But then, because it's unnatural, they start nagging and guilt-tripping you anyway...

Just remember: you stopped being a kid a long time ago. This isn't your place anymore—which is exactly why you're getting on her nerves, and she's getting on yours. Once that degree is in your hand, it's time to cut ties and move on.

That is exactly the plan...

Kyle Nelson2 said:I don't know, it feels like you're stuck in that condescending "old lady" loop where you feel like you have to micromanage absolutely everything... but at the same time, you're just clearly frustrated because you *have* to watch over everything.. it's like this endless cycle...

you can't change people that difficult... honestly, you just finish college, get out of there, and then you finally do things your own way.

Precisely. She inserts herself into everything, and when you tell her to back off (usually after ten failed attempts and finally raising my voice), she takes massive offense and plays the martyr. 🙄

placidranger said:So why don't you just move out?
It seems like the obvious fix. You'd dodge the drama and finally learn how to hold your own.

And go where?