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Posts by Megan White4

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Child sexual abuse: How to spot the signs? in Psychology ·
Olivia Rivera77 said:I remember every single bit of it—the screaming, the crying—while his sister, who’s actually my age, just sat there forced to listen to the whole thing. She couldn't even think about calling for help because she was terrified of what he might do to her if he found out, or God forbid, what kind of things he might have been doing to her behind closed doors...

At that stage, we're looking at actual sexual abuse, given that the individual was already entering puberty.

The only real path forward would be psychiatric help to work through the trauma. As for legal action—lawsuits and such—given how much time has passed, I suspect it would just be a massive waste of energy.
Child sexual abuse: How to spot the signs? in Psychology ·
fadedbear92 said:Leonardo da Vinci, Simone
We really don't know anything about kids


honestly, I think every parent needs to pick this book up
"...The story follows ten-year-old Martini and her tight-knit group of friends growing up amidst the vast wheat fields and rolling meadows of the Granarolo estates in the heart of the Midwest. One summer, far from any watchful adult eyes, they begin to discover the first flickers of their own sexuality—only to be confronted by the twisted reality of the adult world through the lens of certain magazines. Slowly, they find themselves drawn into increasingly obscene and dangerous games that spiral into true depravity and cruelty, leading to a single act that binds them together forever through a horrific secret—one that will leave an indelible mark on their lives... "

We know nothing? Does that mean we were never actually children? 🙄
Child sexual abuse: How to spot the signs? in Psychology ·
The real question is how old they were at the time and what the actual age gap was...
Child sexual abuse: How to spot the signs? in Psychology ·
Aaron Morris56 said:If he’s going through puberty, I’d definitely view that as abuse. Even Oscar committed sexual assault against his 14-year-old cousin.

Right. And she was only nine at the time...

Regarding the question in the original post:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Playing_doctor
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genital_play
Abuse or just being intense...? in Psychology ·
Jerry Martinez5 said:So, school and a degree aren't useful? I guess they wouldn't be if you were stranded on some deserted island. But in today's society, they definitely are. They basically guarantee a better paycheck and decent working conditions. Plus, they give you a much better shot at picking a lifestyle and a career path that isn't filled with "mediocrity," or at least one that actually fits your own taste 👍

Non scholae sed vitae discimus.
We learn not for school, but for life.
☕
And it could certainly veer into the histrionic...
Antisocial personality disorder. It frequently co-occurs with narcissism and/or borderline traits.
I'm at my wit's end with my ex in Psychology ·
Kyle Nelson2 said:Yeah... and you want to know why she's complaining?
Because deep down, she knows you aren't actually going to wreck the car or tell her you're done driving forever... you're just gonna bark back at her just like she does to you... and that means you've basically sunk to her level, where she feels right at home...

Anyway, I honestly don't care about all that. I just want to know what your major is and how many exams you have left to pass.

And what exactly makes that such a burning question for you?
I'm at my wit's end with my ex in Psychology ·
darkhawk30 said:To my dear little "victims of bad parenting"!
Just this much:
- I could list enough examples of my own parents' incompetence to land me straight in the "abused child" category.
But it makes me wonder:
"What else were they supposed to know?"
They acted exactly how their own parents raised them. And even though I was convinced I would NEVER, ever repeat their mistakes, I ended up picking up some of those habits myself. It took me a long time to realize that.
Most people—including parents—suffer from a massive lack of self-confidence. That’s why they constantly micromanage their kids. They aren't sure if they taught them right; they aren't sure if the kids have actually become independent or responsible; they feel this constant need to fix something, but they don't know how to do it without nitpicking.
There isn't some magic formula that turns them into "functional" parents overnight.
But hey, give it a shot!
If you think they were terrible, then try being better. Though, first thing's first: you actually have to figure out what "better" looks like.

You know what the issue is? Parents like that typically dismiss any reaction or feedback from their children as them "not knowing anything"... and then they act genuinely surprised when the kids start pushing back because of all that suffocating, overprotective behavior.

Take my own situation: I constantly tell my mother to stop backseat driving while I'm behind the wheel (with her "helpful" advice acting like I have zero clue how to drive, even though I have a perfectly valid driver's license in the US), but she ignores me every single time. She’s convinced she knows better than I do, so she just restarts the lecture from square one... and then acts shocked when I react the way I do. Honestly, if you keep telling someone "no" and they keep saying "yes," you can't really be surprised when things get tense.
I'm at my wit's end with my ex in Psychology ·
Dennis Garcia6 said:Honestly, some parents can be such a total drag... I can't even step away to use the bathroom without them hovering over my shoulder asking what on earth I'm doing!
I'll literally just walk out to the driveway, ten minutes pass, and suddenly there's a full-blown search party looking for me like I've vanished off the face of the earth...
Then I stay out a bit longer, walk back inside around 11:30 PM, and they're just standing there lecturing me about how I'm going to give them gray hairs...
If all goes well, maybe I'll finally move to the States next year, and if that actually happens, my folks won't see me for at least five years... man, I am living for that day...

I have the exact same experience... I barely finish up in the bathroom before I hear, "Did you put the seat down?" "Did you wash your hands?" "Did you flush?"...

Back when my old man was still around, he used to call my cell every few hours just to check in on where I was or what I was doing. If I was even slightly late getting home because of traffic, it was an immediate "Where are you? When will you be back?"—even if I was only a few blocks away. What really got under my skin, though, was whenever I'd text him something—like passing a college exam—he'd immediately call me to interrogate me about the details. He'd want to know how the test went, how many people were there, how many questions there were... the whole nine yards.🙄

"Helicopter parent" — you can't seem to do anything without your parents breathing down your neck "for your own good." In the end, it's counterproductive; they're just ensuring their kids never learn how to navigate basic life situations on their own.
I'm at my wit's end with my ex in Psychology ·
Roger Evans said:My bad, didn't catch all the intro posts... 🙈

If that's the direction you're heading, then honestly, just go for it. 👍

When you hit a certain age—I personally think 25 is the magic number—you really need to move out from your parents' place. It's better for everyone involved, both for you and for them. 😉

It's fine... ☕

Roger Evans said:My bad, didn't catch all the intro posts... 🙈

If that's the direction you're heading, then honestly, just go for it. 👍

When you hit a certain age—I personally think 25 is the magic number—you really need to move out from your parents' place. It's better for everyone involved, both for you and for them. 😉

Regardless, it looks like I’ll need at least another year, maybe even longer. It's frustrating dealing with people who don't seem to grasp that you don't just finish college overnight. Exams aren't scheduled whenever you feel like taking them; you have to work around the university's actual exam periods.
-☕
I'm at my wit's end with my ex in Psychology ·
Roger Evans said:Honestly, I think you just need to grab that degree, knock it out ASAP, start making some real money, and finally move out of your mom's place to get your own life going.

And what exactly do you think I'm doing right now with everything I've got going on? 🙄
I'm at my wit's end with my ex in Psychology ·
William Nelson7 said:Megan White4, you’ve got a solid plan here, but I have one suggestion: before you decide to go completely radio silent, try actually talking to her. Lay everything out on the table—be blunt about what’s bothering you. Pick a quiet moment when things are actually going well between you. It might just shake some sense into her, which would save you from having to resort to the silent treatment. Of course, if she keeps acting the same way, you’ll have to pull the trigger on your plan if you want to keep your sanity intact...

I’ve tried that countless times, and it just doesn't work.

Every time I attempt to walk her through the logic of why she's being irrational, it ends in a meltdown. She starts crying about how the whole world is against her and how she isn't allowed to have an opinion. I eventually lose my patience trying to quiet her down or explain how much her constant nitpicking distracts me while I'm driving, but the second we get in the car, it’s a repeat performance. Honestly, I can't tell if she's deaf to reason, just plain dense, or some kind of sadist who enjoys driving me crazy with trivial nonsense just for the sake of it...
I'm at my wit's end with my ex in Psychology ·
William Nelson7 said:Look, Megan White4, I know exactly what you're going through. Sometimes, I actually manage to get the upper hand with my stubborn mother. Whenever she starts spiraling, I just sit there, stay calm, and lay out the cold, hard facts until she realizes she's wrong. Usually, that settles her down. It hasn't been easy, though. My father has lived with her for so many years that he’s basically become just like her. Honestly, the only way for either of us to survive this is independence. Focus on finishing your degree as fast as possible, land a job in a different city, and move out. You should still visit her regularly—she's alone, after all—but living under the same roof isn't an option. When you go to see
during your visits, try to keep a positive attitude. People naturally gravitate toward someone who is kind, regardless of how difficult they might be. Expect arguments; they’re inevitable. Just don't take them personally. Keep your eyes on the prize: your own life. As for women, everyone has their flaws, yourself included. The right one will come along eventually. You just have to recognize her when she arrives.

I think I’m going to start ignoring her. My patience has officially run dry, and frankly, she acts like the entire world revolves around her—as if she’s somehow inherited all the wisdom in the universe.

A few days ago, I reached my breaking point. Between the constant nitpicking and the sheer hysteria over driving just a few extra blocks, I seriously considered either abandoning her on the side of the road or just selling the car entirely. The situation was simple: I missed a parking spot, so I had to drive a few hundred yards to find a roundabout to turn around—since pulling a U-turn on a two-way street isn't an option. Suddenly, she’s spiraling. "Where are you going? Are you insane? We’re going to be late!" we ended up having to wait anyway, which made the whole outburst even more pointless. Then, on another occasion, I suggested she hurry up with her shopping so the car wouldn't bake in the sun. Naturally, she took offense, accusing me of "rushing her." It took her thirty minutes just to pick out a few cans of cat food, only for her to spend the entire drive complaining about how hot it was in the car. 🙄

William Nelson7 said:Look, Megan White4, I know exactly what you're going through. Sometimes, I actually manage to get the upper hand with my stubborn mother. Whenever she starts spiraling, I just sit there, stay calm, and lay out the cold, hard facts until she realizes she's wrong. Usually, that settles her down. It hasn't been easy, though. My father has lived with her for so many years that he’s basically become just like her. Honestly, the only way for either of us to survive this is independence. Focus on finishing your degree as fast as possible, land a job in a different city, and move out. You should still visit her regularly—she's alone, after all—but living under the same roof isn't an option. When you go to see
during your visits, try to keep a positive attitude. People naturally gravitate toward someone who is kind, regardless of how difficult they might be. Expect arguments; they’re inevitable. Just don't take them personally. Keep your eyes on the prize: your own life. As for women, everyone has their flaws, yourself included. The right one will come along eventually. You just have to recognize her when she arrives.

It was the same story at my house. Only, my late father actually knew how to settle things with her, whereas I was just dismissed as an immature kid who didn't know anything—constantly told, "What could you possibly have to say to me?" and things of that nature.

Since it’s just the two of us at home right now, she’s focused entirely on me. Apparently, her new full-time job is hunting for things to nitpick, acting as if she’s somehow responsible for my every move. Things that were perfectly fine yesterday are suddenly major issues today—usually some trivial nonsense, like leaving the toothpaste cap off. But when something actually matters? She either loses her patience or comes up with some transparent excuse to avoid it.

William Nelson7 said:Look, Megan White4, I know exactly what you're going through. Sometimes, I actually manage to get the upper hand with my stubborn mother. Whenever she starts spiraling, I just sit there, stay calm, and lay out the cold, hard facts until she realizes she's wrong. Usually, that settles her down. It hasn't been easy, though. My father has lived with her for so many years that he’s basically become just like her. Honestly, the only way for either of us to survive this is independence. Focus on finishing your degree as fast as possible, land a job in a different city, and move out. You should still visit her regularly—she's alone, after all—but living under the same roof isn't an option. When you go to see
during your visits, try to keep a positive attitude. People naturally gravitate toward someone who is kind, regardless of how difficult they might be. Expect arguments; they’re inevitable. Just don't take them personally. Keep your eyes on the prize: your own life. As for women, everyone has their flaws, yourself included. The right one will come along eventually. You just have to recognize her when she arrives.

You have no idea how much I’m looking forward to moving out of her place. All that stands between me and my own space is finishing my exams and finally getting that degree. I’m estimating it'll take about a year—maybe a little longer—to wrap everything up.

William Nelson7 said:Look, Megan White4, I know exactly what you're going through. Sometimes, I actually manage to get the upper hand with my stubborn mother. Whenever she starts spiraling, I just sit there, stay calm, and lay out the cold, hard facts until she realizes she's wrong. Usually, that settles her down. It hasn't been easy, though. My father has lived with her for so many years that he’s basically become just like her. Honestly, the only way for either of us to survive this is independence. Focus on finishing your degree as fast as possible, land a job in a different city, and move out. You should still visit her regularly—she's alone, after all—but living under the same roof isn't an option. When you go to see
during your visits, try to keep a positive attitude. People naturally gravitate toward someone who is kind, regardless of how difficult they might be. Expect arguments; they’re inevitable. Just don't take them personally. Keep your eyes on the prize: your own life. As for women, everyone has their flaws, yourself included. The right one will come along eventually. You just have to recognize her when she arrives.

And if the right one never comes, or if none of them fit, so be it. I'd much rather spend the rest of my life alone than settle for some perpetually dissatisfied, "know-it-all" nag just for the sake of having someone around.
I'm at my wit's end with my ex in Psychology ·
David Palmer5 said:You really think that first link is talking about twenty-eight-year-olds? Seriously, that kind of logic might fly in some parts of Scandinavia, but it doesn't hold much water here.

What’s the point of bringing up OCD? Look, if she actually has a clinical diagnosis—which I’m honestly skeptical about—that’s her own business. But let's look at the facts: she holds down a job, she has a social circle, and she was even married. By any standard, she's perfectly functional in society. Can you say the exact same thing about yourself? And honestly, I find it hard to believe her parents were still footing her bills when she was twenty-eight!

So, what's your big, brilliant takeaway then?

As if you're some kind of expert on things you clearly don't know damn anything about! 😁 :asshole:
I'm at my wit's end with my ex in Psychology ·
David Palmer5 said:Honestly, my favorite thing is when adults blame their parents for every single one of their own screw-ups. It always follows the same pattern: either they weren't coddled enough, or they were coddled way too much. They’ll claim their mom didn't breastfeed them long enough (or did it for too long), or that someone gave them a little smack on the backside when they were two, or that their parents were either too strict or far too lax. Then it's about being micromanaged, or having zero guidance, or not being loved enough—or conversely, being smothered by "too much" love. They'll complain about being pushed toward a certain college major, or not being encouraged to go to school at all, or being forced into piano lessons instead of something else, or... just, man, give me a break. There are people out there dealing with ACTUAL trauma—people who lived through literal HELL because of parental abuse, alcoholism, drug addiction, or pure neglect. Those are real problems. But this stuff? It’s just...

So, you think this isn't a legitimate issue? Constantly picking at a healthy psyche over trivialities out of pure boredom doesn't count as abuse?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive-compulsive_disorder

Do a little reading first. Once you actually have something insightful to contribute, feel free to chime back in.
Getting Started with Training in Martial Arts & Combat Sports ·
hiddensailor14 said:bujin is military police,

Hmm... 🤔 I don't think so. If I recall correctly, he's in communications or something similar... 🤔

hiddensailor14 said:currently in Afghanistan...

The man is back home...
Getting Started with Training in Martial Arts & Combat Sports ·
steeldrifter13 said:I’m actually looking to pick up some martial arts since I'm aiming for West Point, and I could definitely use the extra conditioning.

That changes the context entirely. In that case, you'd benefit most from something practical like Krav Maga, Jiu-Jitsu, or even Ninjutsu. My advice? Spend this next year focusing heavily on your conditioning—specifically endurance rather than just raw strength. Once you turn 16, head straight to the nearest Krav Maga gym.
Getting Started with Training in Martial Arts & Combat Sports ·
steeldrifter13 said:I'm 15 years old and I want to start training a martial art. At first, I thought about doing Krav Maga, but you have to be 16. Now I'm looking for advice from those of you who train: what's the best martial art to learn if I want to use it later in life (for example, in the military or something similar)?

Picking a martial art just for the sake of fighting—if that’s how you want to put it—is like picking a car just to drag race it down the highway...

It's a tricky question because everyone is going to give you a different answer (usually based on the idea that "every man thinks his own horse is the fastest"). My advice: visit different gyms, watch their sessions, and even try out a few classes. If it clicks, it's for you. If it doesn't (even if the style is hyped up as being hyper-effective), move on.
I'm at my wit's end with my ex in Psychology ·
I'm not entirely sure what you're getting at with "luna," but if you're looking for a conversation, I'm here. Just keep it direct. kaže:
Look, I had to respond like that because, frankly, I found it pretty amusing reading all that nonsense about how much your mother sucks.

Think it’s fun to read about? You’re looking to change places? Why don't you try living through what I'm going through first, then we can talk about how much "fun" it is to read about my problems... :asshole:

Noah Richardson23 said:Look, I had to snap back because... honestly, reading you claim her looks were trash was kind of hilarious at first, but then it just got old... I need you to actually move past this and stop looping on the same nonsense.
And my bad for the typos in my last post, my keyboard's 'k' key keeps acting up so things keep getting dropped 😢

You know that old story about two bulls standing on a ridge, looking down at a herd of cattle in the valley? The younger one says, "Dad, let's charge down there and take out one cow." The old one just looks at him and says, "No, son. We're walking down there, and we're taking them all."