Posts by brisksurfer

Angela Wright said:Whether or not you get coverage for supplies—diapers, pads, underpads, oxygen concentrators, and so on—is entirely up to the healthcare system, specifically the CHIF. Any issues regarding nursing supplies or home care equipment (like walkers...) should be handled primarily through a family doctor. That is how you find out what rights you can actually exercise.

Angela, thanks for posting this memo here.

What she wrote above is absolutely fascinating... especially because our doctor at the Jordanovac clinic just gave us this blank, pale stare when we brought up oxygen (which my father desperately needed in his terminal stage, yet the hospital refused to keep him!). And when I told him we ended up sourcing it ourselves, he didn't even bother to ask where we got it! You'd think he'd want to know if it could help others. But sure, "just talk to the doctors..." 🙂 🙂

Sophia Ross53 said:Thanks. I've been following your story closely. It’s the exact same terrible diagnosis. They're both at peace now.

😢 😘

ironsailor22 said:Just to make it through, that’s the whole point. That is exactly why I am so fed up with all this senseless overcomplicating. We won't even need the wheelchair in a month or two.
I will figure something out. Even if everyone keeps saying it’s way too expensive, I'll just rent one for those few months.

Oh, I know😢((

Tell me—do you just need a standard wheelchair? Are you guys located in Washington, D.C.? I actually think we might have a pair sitting in the attic; I'll check with my mom. If they're still up there, they're pretty old since they belonged to my great-grandmother, but they might still work...

Sophia Ross53 said:My mom passed away this morning at six o'clock. She didn't even make it to Christmas. Just a few days ago, we were walking through the city together, picking out gifts. She was so full of life that day, and then everything just went south so suddenly. We rushed her to the Mayo Clinic at three in the morning on Tuesday, and she fell into a coma she never woke up from. Her last smile was earlier this morning, and after that, she was gone. It’s a huge comfort knowing she didn't suffer much. I won't even get into how inhumane the doctors were when we brought her in, but that's just typical for a hospital in a city like this. Right now, I just feel numb. There's nothing else. The funeral is tomorrow.

I am so sorry, dear... please accept my deepest condolences. 😢

Take comfort in the fact that she didn't suffer, and know that she's likely in a better place now! 😘

Goldie, I wasn't trying to say you were making things up! It’s just that I don't understand how the situation shifted so fast, especially since what I'm talking about was the absolute reality back in April.

It's honestly heartbreaking to hear that things have become such a bureaucratic nightmare now—they probably just have more patients on their hands—but seriously... after everyone else left me to fend for myself during those awful moments, it was such a massive relief when the Association stepped in and helped without any of this nonsense. If we had been forced to jump through all these hoops back then, my dad wouldn't even have made it to oxygen therapy.😢

ironsailor22 said:Things around here are never what they seem. It’s a fact. Here is some verified info just in case anyone ever needs it—God forbid.
On a different forum, some John Doe posted saying that the American Hospice Friends Association provides all the equipment needed for oncological home care for free. They claimed you just call them up, show up with your medical history and an ID, and you're set.
Well, I went ahead and did exactly that, and let me tell you: it’s a lie. The process isn't that simple at all.
First, the patient has to be officially admitted to hospice. Then, you have to coordinate a home visit with a doctor. Only after that visit can a doctor actually assess if the requested equipment is even necessary. And keep in mind, this only applies to terminal patients within the Washington, D.C. area.

hmmm... I personally used them to get oxygen and an aspirator for my dad. They were incredibly kind and there wasn't a single complication. I just called them, arranged a time to swing by (either the next day or the day after), and everything was ready and waiting for me. No referrals, no doctors, nothing.
The only thing they did was make a copy of the medical records for their own files.

And honestly, the women there were more than lovely... huge thanks to them. 😍

Matthew Taylor6 said:I can't deal with medical treatments anymore. I just don't have the energy for hospital visits. I don't have the will to keep pushing forward. I'm skipping my medications because I simply lack the motivation for them. It’s only when the pain becomes absolutely unbearable that I promise myself I'll try to help myself before things get even worse.
My family doesn't know. I can't think of a single good reason why I should tell them. Nor do I know how I would even say it.

When my dad was sick, I accompanied him to every possible hospital for tests, and I can understand how just that process alone can drain a person's entire will to live. Of course, I can't even begin to imagine what it feels like for someone undergoing chemotherapy and radiation, so I don't think anyone should be judged if they decide to stop treatment... but there is something else—after a horrific surgery and radiation, my dad found out he had to start chemo. I remember it like it was yesterday, how he told us he had had enough of everything and that he would only continue treatment for our sake. I can't even fathom how I would feel if he had told me then that he was giving up.😢
He fought until the very last second... after he passed, I was devastated and cried every single day—but what constantly runs through my mind is that he TRULY, TRULY wanted to live, that he didn't give up, and since he eventually had to go, I cannot afford to waste my own life...😢

So, there. I hope that gives you at least a tiny bit of motivation to keep going. I wish you all the best.😘

I’m trying to figure out if it’s actually possible to send a package with Cash on Delivery to Canada, and if so, how much more of a rip-off is it compared to just sending something within the States?

Sophia Ross53 said:The "experts" in my life kept pumping my mom full of antibiotics for months before they finally bothered to send her to a specialist. Then, some other supposed pro took a sample from the wrong spot entirely, so obviously the results came back negative. A real professional at a different hospital actually had the intuition to realize how serious this was before any biopsy even happened. Nobody here is out to play pretend like certain people with fancy degrees—and yeah, kudos to them for the grueling years of schooling and specialization, I get it. But look, this isn't Sweden. In Sweden, patients get immediate medical and psychological support. They actually treat people like human beings. They even shave a woman's hair before chemo so she can wear a wig. This country just doesn't provide that. That’s exactly why forums like this exist: so people can find actual, verified information through shared experiences. No one here is acting like a know-it-all. No one is telling you whether to accept chemotherapy, surgery, or an alternative treatment. We all listen to our doctors and then hunt down ten more opinions to confirm it. I absolutely hate it when people trash these rare, positive initiatives started by our otherwise damn passive citizens.

I'm signing on this! 👍

Exactly—since when did you need a medical degree just to tell someone where they can get their hands on oxygen?! You don't. Period. All that actually matters is whether or not you give a damn about those people. 😉

Robert Nelson82 said:Honestly, people like you terrify me. You strut around acting like some kind of genius, tossing out "expert" advice to anyone who will listen, when the truth is you haven't the slightest clue what you're talking about.
There is a massive difference between having a little bit of insight into medical treatments and actually making decisions that should be left entirely to the professionals. You aren't a doctor. Period. But you’re out here acting like you are, putting yourself on the same level as medical experts, and frankly, it's insulting. It is absolutely ridiculous to spit on their expertise just because you read a few things on some medical websites. Get real.
Listen, if you keep educating people like this, you might as well just open your own private practice right now. Why bother with any of that nonsense? All those useless degrees, specialized training, internships... what a waste of time. You can learn everything you need to know on the internet anyway. It’s all right there. Seriously.😉

Professionals?! You mean the same "experts" who kept pumping my dad full of 1.5 grams of antibiotics for a simple sore throat while he actually had throat cancer?! They just kept treating the symptoms until it was far too late. By then, he was forced to undergo a horrific surgery. Absolute incompetence!
So you have professionals—actual "experts"—who look at a patient, tell him straight up that he doesn't have lung cancer, and then just send him packing with a useless bottle of antibiotics. Then, fast forward three months when the whole thing has metastasized and spread everywhere, they suddenly realize they made a massive mistake? Unbelievable. Absolute incompetence. 😲

I will never forgive myself for staying silent while all this was going down. I should have spoken up sooner instead of actually believing those slimy, corrupt professionals!

Or maybe I should listen to those "professionals" who told me straight to my face that they couldn't find an oxygen tank anywhere when my dad was struggling and gasping for air! Absolute nonsense! They didn't even bother asking where I could actually source it, despite the fact that they were just sitting right here recommending people to contact! Unbelievable!

Look, if you have absolutely no clue what’s actually happening out there—and I mean if you haven't felt it firsthand—then do us all a favor: cover your ears and shut up. Seriously. Don't you dare sit there and spit on people who are wasting their precious time trying to help those whom "professionals" are quite literally killing through sheer, unadulterated negligence! ☕

Hey Douglas Thompson7... believe me, we’ve all been falling apart at some point. But you just have to realize there is absolutely zero use in dwelling on it. You have to find the courage to move forward! I know it isn't easy, but what can you even do? We don't get a say in the hand life deals us.

When my dad passed away, I honestly thought I was going to follow him into the grave right then and there. But somehow, I keep finding comfort in the fact that he had such an incredible, fierce will to live. Since he didn't get to finish his journey, I feel like I have to make sure I actually live mine.

Hang in there! :*

Angela Wright said:Listen, friend. By some sheer stroke of luck, we ended up in the exact same boat. We met right here on this thread, and unlike all those other people who do nothing but whine and hunt for excuses to stay lazy and passive, we actually grabbed the bull by the horns.
...

I’ve gotta hand it to you two—honestly, nobody else even comes close! You guys are in a league of your own! 😍😍😍

When I was losing my mind over my father's health, this was the one—the only—place where I actually found support and advice that meant something. I will always be grateful to you all for that. 😘😘😘

And those people who haven't the slightest clue about everything we're doing for all of us... they'd better just shut their mouths and stay out of it! ☕

P.S. I’m actually a member of a volunteer organization myself—thankfully one that focuses on actually doing good in the world. So, believe me, I know exactly how infuriating it is when outsiders try to lecture you, acting like they have all the answers when nobody is actually offering a helping hand. Once things settle down, and once I finally make peace with my own situation, I hope I'll find the courage to step up and help you all.

slyseal28 said:Waiting three months for radiation therapy is an absolute catastrophe. It’s unacceptable. But honestly, do yourself a favor and go do some digging on the news sites. Just see how much they actually talk about the radiation crisis. Not enough! It’s pathetic.

I remember when they told us the waitlist was three months long. I nearly passed out right then and there. I have never heard of such an absurd delay in my entire life! It is absolutely disgraceful!
I completely believe what you said about patients being too afraid to speak up publicly. That’s just how Americans are in general. When they're unhappy with something, they just grumble behind closed doors and act like big shots in private, but when it comes to actually making a scene in public? Absolute silence. Not a single soul says a word. 😲
We wouldn't be stuck in this mess across the entire country if things weren't run this way. Period.👎

Please accept my deepest condolences.😢

My father passed away five months ago... Every single day the longing grows stronger. The pain doesn't actually lessen—it just changes shape.

Maria Howard4 said:My husband's grandmother was diagnosed with lizard cancer that has already spread to her liver. She came home from the hospital last Friday. The doctors at the facility didn't actually tell her the diagnosis directly. She got discharge papers that have everything written out, but she hasn't read them. She kept asking us what it said, and we just kind of scrambled to give her an answer. I honestly don't know what to do—whether we should tell her the truth or not. She only has a few months left. Her sister passed away six years ago in the exact same way, and I just don't understand how she isn't making the connection. What should we do?

My cousins were in this exact same situation just a few months ago. They didn't tell their grandmother, and I think that was the right call. It made zero sense to them why she wasn't picking up on the signs either, but we figured it's better this way because there’s no point in upsetting her when nothing can be done anyway. If your grandmother watched her sister die like this, it’s going to be absolutely horrific because she’ll know exactly what’s coming for her. I watched my own father suffer through it, and I would have had a hard enough time dealing with someone telling me I had the same disease while that nightmare is constantly playing in my head.

Good luck! :*

Exactly. Except he actually quit about seven years before the cancer diagnosis hit...

I don't want to freak you out, and I truly hope everything turns out fine, but please, go see a doctor immediately and get every single test done. Honestly, I think people are being ridiculous by acting so shocked—they just jump straight to the worst-case scenario. But listen, it is always better to catch an illness early. I’m telling you this because my father suffered from throat cancer... and I will never forgive his doctors for failing to catch it in time.

Here is the bottom line: throat cancer is treatable if you catch it in the early stages, so you really shouldn't delay getting checked out. It is much better to know what you're dealing with and treat it now than to sit around regretting it when it's too late. Besides... one of the symptoms is feeling a sensation like a fish bone is stuck in your throat, or experiencing ear pain. That intense, debilitating pain doesn't even hit until much later...

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it's nothing serious! :*

How long does this thing last? Are you actually letting it happen? And how old are you, anyway?

Laura King24 said:All I can tell you is that there is absolutely no way to prepare yourself for the death of someone close to you, no matter how long the illness drags on. A person just keeps hoping somehow. I guess that’s just human nature.
And just like Angela Wright wrote, "fading out" is the perfect way to put it. That's all I can say. 😢

I second this. Even when they told me my dad had maybe one or two weeks left, I kept hoping they were wrong. Deep down, though, I knew I’d have to say goodbye. I remember his look so clearly the day before he passed... we were talking, and he knew I was right there with him... but then he looked out the window at the trees, and it was like he was already halfway to Heaven. I can't explain it logically, but I just had that feeling. The very next day, he was gone.

There is no preparation. None. If I ever had to go through this again, I wouldn't be ready. But I remember that last day—holding his hand, knowing he had to go. It was as if all his strength flowed into me, and I just kept telling him inside my head that I understood, that he could go if it would make things easier... and that he didn't need to worry about us...

I don't know... I move on with my life, but I feel like I couldn't purge this pain from my soul even if I had a hundred lifetimes left. 😢((