Posts by stormyviper11

Back when I was still high on those delusional hopes of actually finishing college, I was seriously considering picking up Portuguese as a minor. My brother just laughed at me and said, "Look, people study Italian because of Dante, or German because of Goethe, but trying to learn Portuguese just so you can read Sennine interviews in the original language? That’s a bit much, even for you..." 😁 Following that logic, trying to pick up Finnish would be even more unhinged...

miss l on the road said:you guys actually inspired me to look up Mattie... here are the top 5 phrases I still remember from my Finnish days:

Back when I was working over at NBC, we called up this woman for an interview—she was a Protestant minister out in Topeka. We needed her to play this mysterious character for a detective game segment. Honestly, I think she was floored when I greeted her with "Goodwill päivää!" She probably couldn't believe anyone in the States actually knew a word of Finnish... like, why would anyone even bother learning it here?

😂 That guy is my favorite...

Anyway, I’ve spent half my day laughing at the exact same thing—these deep, profound pearls of wisdom from Matti Nykänen, all scraped together from Wikipedia. I already posted about this in the ski jumping thread, but since most of you losers over there don't bother to engage, I figured I'd give the rest of you the pleasure of studying the life philosophy of the One and Only...

Matti Nykänen has spawned several memorable quotes, mostly due to his Language barrier, which most of the time seem to miss the point.

"Tekemätöntä ei saa tekemättömäksi"
"What is not done, cannot be undone"
"Ehkä otin, ehkä en."
"Maybe I had, maybe I didn't." (on drinking alcohol)
"Minä olen venäläinen, vaikka ei ole punaista päällä, olen kommunisti, mutta näyttelen vaan. Oikeasti olen ihminen, joka kävelee ja puhuu puhelimeen."
"I am Russian, even though I'm not wearing red, I'm a communist, but I'm just acting. In reality I'm a person Who walks and talks on The Phone"
"Aina ku mä hyppään ja pääsen siihen hyppyrin nokalle, niin mulle tulee sellanen 'bon voyage' -tunne, siis että mä oon kokenu tän joskus aikasemminkin."
"Every time I jump and get to the ledge, I get that 'bon voyage' feeling. I mean it's like I've been through this before."
"Kun sä lähdet hyppyyn, sä olet ihan yksin. Sä joudut siinä hyppyrinnokalla tekemään yksinäsi omat ratkaisut. Sä oot siellä ylhäällä ihan up yours."
"When you're going for a jump, you're all by yourself. You have to make your own decisions yourself. Up there you're completely up yours."
"Jokainen tsäänssi on mahdollisuus!"
"Every chance is an opportunity!"
"Huominen on aina tulevaisuutta."
"Tomorrow is always future."
"Elämä on laiffii."
"Living is Life."
"Se on ihan fifty-sixty miten käy."
"The odds are fifty-sixty."
"No pilluhan se on aina mielessä mutta hypätään nyt ensin!"
"Pussy is always on my mind, but let's jump first" (when a reporter asked Matti what he has in his mind)
"On kaksi osaa ihmisiä. Joku vetää huumeita, joku urheilee, joku vetää itsensä loppuun ja joku vaan nukkuu. Minä kuulun siihen porukkaan, joka nukkuu, urheilee, rakastelee ja hakkaa itseään ja voipi olla, että siinä joskus osuu toiseenkin ihmiseen."
"There are two parts of people. Some take drugs, some do sports, some rushes into burn-out and some just sleep. I'm one of those people who sleep, do sports, make love and beat themselves, and could be that sometimes one may hit someone else, too."
"Rakkaus on kuin lankakerä – se alkaa ja loppuu."
"Love is like a ball of wool – it starts and it ends."
"En suosittele Antabusta kenellekään. Sen kanssa tulee ryypätessä ihan kammottava olo."
"I don't recommend Antabus to anyone. Boozing with it makes you feel just dreadful."
"Lahti on kyllä ihan mesta paikka."
"Lahti is a great place." (Local news report)
"Elämä on ihmisen parasta aikaa."
"Living is the best time of a person."
"Mä en mene siihen lankaan että alkaisin haalimaan jotain omaisuutta."
"I will not fall for the error of starting to hoard personal property or something."
"Kysymys kuulostaa kysymykseltä."
"The question sounds like a question." (Matti's direct answer to a question during the publishing ceremony of his book.)
"On se aika epäkornia käytöstä."
"It is quite uncorny behavior." (Matti commenting the treatment he received from the American justice department during one of his spousal abuse trials.)
"Elokuva elokuvana. Elokuva kun tehdään, niin se on elokuvaa."
"A movie as a movie. When a movie is being made, it's movie." (Matti commenting the upcoming movie about him.)
"Meikäläinen on nykyään avioliittoneuvoja. Jos menee hyvin niin meikäläinen paikalle. Se on seittemän sekuntia ja kaikki on päin persettä."
"I’ve basically become a marriage counselor at this point. If things are actually going smooth, just give me a heads up... because it usually takes about seven seconds before everything goes straight to hell." (Matti, probably dissecting his own messy love life with a heavy dose of sarcasm...)

Top 1 missed opportunities for filming a funny home video today:

1. Theme: some pretty clumsy guy in his mid-thirties (we won't say who) attempting to make Cream of Wheat for the first time ever.
The result: surprisingly decent, totally edible...
Amount of ingredients wasted just to get half a bowl of mush: way higher than average.
Quantity and variety of tools used for cooking and serving: impressive, involving some items you definitely wouldn't call everyday kitchenware...
Kitchen cleanliness and organization: 2/10 before starting, 1/10 after finishing.
Genre summary: subtle slapstick.

Can't find it on eBay, but I did stumble upon this little treat... 😍
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Olympic-Winner...QQcmdZViewItem

I don't have a PayPal account, otherwise I’d seriously be thinking about dropping $7 on this thing... 🙂

Goddammit! 😠 😠 😠 So, I guess being unsportsmanlike just isn't your thing anymore, huh? 😬 🙂 🙂

Look, we’ve all got those, sure, but nothing really hits quite like the stuff Matt sang himself... 😢

I dug up some info, here is what Wikipedia says:

Nykänen's whole career was this wild mix of pure talent and total meltdowns... just constant chaos. Even after he hung up the skis, people still looked back at his prime as this legendary era, but all the public drama turned him into kind of a joke to the rest of the country. Between the stories of domestic fights—he hit his wife, she hit him (more often than not)... you get the idea—all those marriages and divorces, plus him trying to make it as a singer (with songs like "Hi Hi Hi, I am your samurai" and "Only a ski jumper can know") and even doing stints as a stripper, he mostly earned mockery rather than any actual respect.

Matti went through several marriages:

Tina Hassinen (1986–1988)
Pia Hynninen (1989–1991)
Sara Paanala (1996–1998)
Mervi Tapola (2001–2003)
Mervi Tapola (2004–)
On August 24, 2004, Matti Nykänen got picked up by the cops on suspicion of attempted manslaughter after stabbing a family friend. He ended up being convicted of aggravated assault and got handed a 26-month prison sentence on October 27, 2004. Since it was his first offense, he got out on September 21, 2005, only to be arrested again just four days later for abusing his partner, Mervi Tapola.

The movie about The Life of Matti Nykänen Has been released in 2006 , with Finnish actor Jasper Pääkkönen cast as Matti.

Robin Williams6 said:In jail? Come on, really?
What did he even do?
So it was Smith, that's what I thought, though honestly who could be sure... I know they both went way too hard on the booze once they retired from jumping...

I tried looking for a link, but I can't find anything. Someone recently posted (maybe Yo Momma) some news about how Nykänen lost his cool and ended up back behind bars. Apparently, it’s because of what David Sullivan4 mentioned—he walked into some dive bar, stayed for an hour and a half, caused a massive scene, and they hauled him right back in. And just to clear things up, Nykänen is the one who worked as a male stripper a few years back, but I seriously doubt he's physically capable of pulling off a job that intense these days...

And yeah, if you ask me, both of them were hitting the bottle pretty hard even while they were still competing, not just after they called it quits...

As far as I know, he's doing time in prison right now, though he used to be a stripper back in the day. Not sure what Smith is up to lately, but a few years back he was still trying his hand at jumping...

Susan Clark10 said:not bad, though some people wouldn't even realize that...😬

That's just because they don't read my blog. They totally missed this bit:

THE BALLAD OF WAYNE

No, that rough body doesn't hurt Gretzky,
It isn't why his nerves are frayed and gritty.
No, the freezing ice doesn't bother Gretzky at all,
Nor does the misery or the trouble caused by the brawl.
No, none of that would bring Gretzky any woe,
He’d be happy, even through the heavy blow,
If his grandma wasn't shouting from the stands above,
An Uclaniti member of an anti-evil league, full of love.
If she didn't yell, "Momak, the ice is your doom,
A wild man's strike, sealing your gloom."

A deadly stick,
A deadly hand,
A deadly hand
From a wild man's command.

No, it doesn't hurt Gretzky being hit all the time,
He'd offer them a hand, truly sublime.
That's just part of the sport, part of the game,
And hockey's got a pedigree, that much is plain.
No, if while he's playing, he isn't feeling the sting,
Of Grandma mocking him, "You're worth nothing!"
When those harsh words fall, or a curse flies free,
From activists fighting evil, for all to see.
They scream, "Momak, the ice is your doom,
A wild man's strike, sealing your gloom."

A deadly stick,
A deadly hand,
A deadly hand
From a wild man's command.

😎

Alright, look, you gotta root for the Japanese just like you do for the Finns, no question about it...

These are some of the best expressions out there, mostly used within my own family or maybe a tiny little circle of people I know.

Toplak
Kovataka
Setefatski
Dvoprug
Oteščilo
Ac ac
Podguzalo
Zabl

I really hope Jerry Mitchell62 sees this, he’d probably be able to recall all of this stuff too...

Man, as a die-hard fan of Finland, I’m always rooting against the Swedes—honestly, they can take it. They can keep their height, their blue eyes, their sex appeal, their fancy tables, their ladders, their pliers, and even their gas stations; they couldn't hold a candle to how much a Finn can drink. And obviously, when it comes to being the absolute best at sports, specifically ski jumping, it's all about them. Finns and Norwegians are the real heavyweights, both as jumpers and drinkers, whereas Sweden is just that little nothing caught somewhere between Ikea furniture and Army of Lovers... 🤮

Alright, look, maybe they aren't *that* much of an eyesore, but as any true ski jumping fanatic knows, you need a healthy dose of resentment toward the Swedes to really enjoy the sport... 😁

Douglas Taylor4 said:Synth-pop

I’m getting closer to a sound that actually works for me, but still... I’d rather stay far away from that ultra-fast, frantic stuff where people just twist around and scream on the dance floor. No offense to the disco freaks. Hey, Mainstream, Nicholas Perez33, stormyviper11...

Everyone’s invited to the party, obviously.

😬

I don't know what you're missing when it comes to that genre. When it comes to the classics that don't get played enough, it's always worth revisiting Yellow Magic Orchestra. And as for the newer stuff, all those brilliant regulars on the tape circuit: Dat Politics, Rococo Rot, Manitoba/Caribou... You clearly dig that jittery yet upbeat vibe—Animal Collective, Pimmon, Kid 606...

Yeah, alright, none of that really has anything to do with synth-pop, it doesn't answer your question, and you probably already know most of those names anyway. I'm wasted, I'm cranky, I should be sleeping, but instead, I've got work tomorrow and then I'll probably just end up drinking again tonight...

vividcanyon2 said:Here’s my personal ranking for the ice hockey medal podium at the Winter Olympics in Torino:

1. Canada (they aren't playing Kariya—huge red flag, total bad sign 😠 )
2. Sweden (Mats Sundin is on the roster 🎉 )
3. Russia (their coach probably treats his stress with a shot of vodka after every single game. Russians, man... 😍 )

Kaaaaaaaj?
Hockey just isn't worth watching unless you're pulling for the Finns.
After them, I'd say the Czechs and Slovaks are next in line.
I like Canada, sure, but I'm only rooting for them when they're facing off against the Russians, Americans, or Swedes.

The perfect scenario? One semi-final features the Czechs vs. the Slovaks, and the other is the Finns vs. the Swedes.
Pure chaos. Everyone hates everyone, teeth and skin flying everywhere...
Just blood, death, and absolute carnage.
The Finns crush the Slovaks, the Finns take the gold in the final, and the Czechs grab third place.

I know it won't actually go down like that, but hey, a guy can dream...

Nicholas Perez33 said:I'm heading over to Spotify
is there a way to just loop the track there? the homepage is a total eyesore

Nah, you gotta go to Apple Music for that.

That’s where the Canadian woman and the new shoe polish hang out... 🙂

Look, as a total hipster, I’m really only into The Strokes and Facebook.
But honestly? Neither of them is ever going to drop an album nearly as legendary as, say, Turn It Up. 🙂

Man, I don't know if that's worth anything, but a buddy of mine (who’s basically a minority here, though he was part of the majority back in Mexico) had this absolute life-changing tour de force once. Out of nowhere, he just started improvising lyrics to all the songs we were playing, twisting every single line to be about Mexico, Slob, or NATO... honestly, it was genius, and the crazy thing was, it actually worked. me, my brother, and ar peka were absolutely losing it, laughing ourselves silly for like two or three hours straight, literally rolling around on the floor. At one point, we realized the floor was soaked, like something had spilled, but it was just us losing control because we were laughing so hard. (Not sure if I should have even mentioned that last part...) After midnight, a group showed up, including that one friend we’re always begging to play guitar, but who almost never does. Well, he finally showed up with his guitar ready to go, but every song ended with him improvising more lyrics and us just erupting into this mindless, incoherent laughter. They all huddled up for about half an hour and then left, totally confused about what was going on with us... (The answer: just too much beer.)

hollowseal33 said:the best ways to describe relatives
1. sister-in-law
2. brother-in-law
3. father-in-law

pasen ali

But honestly, those weird half-relation combos are what get me... like "half-uncle" or whatever.

Or, like how Lepa bora once described a friend's family tree down in Key West: "basically, he's almost like his half-cousin!" 🤣

People say not many folks deserve this emoji, but Boro earned it through several things, not just this one... 🙏 🙏 🙏

stormywolf39 said:What even is that? Is it actually edible?... 🤣

Not number five... 😬