Posts by copperfox22

Jeremy Torres5 said:Where is it... 😳
Can't see straight... 😳
Doesn't understand a single thing... 😳
Doesn't have a clue what's actually good... 😳
As thick-headed as a brick... 😳
Just look at that sudden drop in mana... ridiculous... 😲
Still dreaming... and exhausted...
Green light...
Come on people, let's get to the summit...
Excuse me, just some typos... 😁

🙏

So, basically, he's just a blind fool 🤣

Someone should probably send him some reading glasses, the idiot 😁

Night, folks 🙂

Walter Peterson said:crude? you bet it's crude😳

what do you mean "first time"? I laid it all out right there in my opening post🤣

I'll ask you again in a few years when a new "Real One" comes along 😄

Oh, so now we're adding "clairvoyance and magic" to the list of categories😍
Honestly, I could have just asked what Mike thinks about this whole situation of mine🤣

You asked earlier if perhaps you were choosing the wrong people, which sparked that whole debate we all had... Now, you've gone and said it quite plainly: that's exactly where the problem lies.

crude? you bet it's crude😳

what do you mean "first time"? I laid it all out right there in my opening post🤣

I'll ask you again in a few years when a new "Real One" comes along 😄

Oh, so now we're adding "clairvoyance and magic" to the list of categories😍
Honestly, I could have just asked what Mike thinks about this whole situation of mine🤣
Exactly. Honestly, she ought to be happy; I’d say her future looks bright. But for now...His poison is still running through your veins; the dose was simply too high.If you truly want to grasp the reality of this situation—and actually anticipate what's coming next, much like I do—you need to look closer. 😍
Honestly, we're going to kill ourselves with all this psychology; we were already rolling on the floor laughing 🤣
we've got to get back to being miserable 😬

northernwolf3 said:But how can it be flawless when they won't even give me a chance?😲
I mean, honestly, nothing could possibly go wrong beyond that point.😁

Well, damn, that’s a reality check right there—it's not really a flaw if it's out of your hands 😁

Jeremy Torres5 said:Quote:>

copperfox22 says: No way, I've been blaming those damn kids this whole time, when really the issue is right here in my own head...😬 What did you put in my wine? Some weird concoction you tried to pass off to me> 🙂 Seriously, there's no such thing as perfection😍>

Everyone has flaws
And if we refuse to see them or just sweep them under the rug, that’s on us
If we're unlucky enough to end up with someone whose hidden flaws don't actually exist yet they'll just wreck the relationship down the road
God, what a mess...😁

even worse, 😳

I actually found those parts quite appealing 🤣

Quote:

it's just plain crude😁 crude? you bet it's crude😳 Walter Peterson said:That is the first time you have actually stated that clearly. I had the impression you were merely dancing around the issue, hoping someone else would step in and provide a meaningful diagnosis. I'll be sure to ask you about this in a few years when the next "real" one finally rolls around. 😍 what do you mean "first time"? I laid it all out right there in my opening post🤣 Quote: I'll ask you again in a few years when a new "Real One" comes along 😄 Oh, so now we're adding "clairvoyance and magic" to the list of categories😍 Honestly, I could have just asked what Mike thinks about this whole situation of mine🤣

Walter Peterson said:Because you weren't actually looking. You’re still wearing those "bubblegum pink" styles.😉

Not really, honestly. I’ve spent the whole time telling myself the problem lies with those naughty kids, and by extension, with my own head.😬

But the real question is: how are you supposed to convince someone to drink that cocktail even if you actually manage to get your hands on it?😁

Seriously, what did you put in this wine?
this strange concoction
that you pulled a fast one on me with

🙂

No, really, there aren't any flaws here.😍

Walter Peterson said:There is always something, isn't there? Always. I shall refrain from being uncouth by listing the flaws of my unchosen "perfect" match.😁

I haven't met a single one of mine that I didn't find something to dislike about 🙈

And honestly, that's exactly why he's such a 🤣

What a load of absolute garbage. You’re all living in a total fantasy land, but none of you have the guts to admit it, so instead, you're just blowing smoke up my ass. 🤣

Alright, fine. Now that we've finally settled the theory, it’s time to get down to the actual practical side of things. 😁

Look, if someone isn't acting like a complete coward, they can find a doctor anywhere—they have everything you could possibly need. The problem isn't availability; the problem is that you don't have what he's looking for. Or better yet, you don't give him a single reason to actually "freeze" anyone out.

I'm waiting to hear more of these brilliant insights from you guys. 😍

Gary Ruiz17 said:But see, here’s where the real trouble starts for me... I’ve had a few different relationships in my life, and it felt like every single one of them just left me more bruised than the last. Eventually, I decided to just be on my own for a while, moved from my hometown over to Chicago, and I actually started to feel like myself again—like I was finally blooming. Then, I met this girl, and man, I felt that spark instantly; after being solo for a few years, I was genuinely ready to dive back into something serious. We dated, and let me tell you, it was an absolute nightmare. This relationship was incredibly traumatic because she would break up with me multiple times a week over the most trivial, nonsensical reasons or tiny little arguments, and then I’d find myself practically begging her to stay, trying to patch things up just to keep us afloat for a few more months. When it finally did fall apart for good, things were okay for about a month, but then something inside my head just... snapped. I suddenly realized that this simply wasn't it; I couldn't be with someone with that kind of temperament, and just like that, all those feelings of being in love just evaporated.

And now, because I have this tendency to be a total people pleaser, I hit this incredibly paradoxical wall—I needed to be the one to betray, reject, and walk away from someone who was insistently telling me they loved me. It was supposed to be my first time ever being the one to initiate a breakup, and I just couldn't bring myself to do it... there was so much fear, so much misplaced pity... and in the end, I just suppressed everything, trying to ignore the red flags and burying them deep inside myself. I tried talking to her a couple of times, but it was useless, and because of her volatile nature, it always spiraled into these massive, exhausting fights—and on top of that, I didn't have the strength or the guts to admit what the real issue was, so we just ended up circling the drain indefinitely. Paradoxically, it actually felt easier when she was being horrible to me for no reason, because I felt like that's what I deserved; I’d actually feel a sense of relief when she was being mean, yet I felt terrible whenever she was being sweet to me... Finally, after one particularly bad blowout, I just broke, and I ended things in a really blunt, almost rude way via a text and a phone call. After that, I actually saw her a few times to try and explain myself, but it went nowhere. To make matters even worse, once the breakup happened, she tried everything to reel me back in, and it turned into straight-up harassment—hundreds of calls, her friends calling me to say she was getting shots at the hospital and feeling miserable and that I was being heartless for not answering, showing up at my apartment building, waiting outside my place, even faking a pregnancy...

Once the dust finally settled, I gave myself some breathing room, and eventually, I tried going out with a few different women, but it just wouldn't work. Even though there weren't any actual problems with them, those old feelings of anxiety, that sense of suffocation and helplessness, would come rushing back almost immediately. And I'd just have to end it 😢 After those attempts, a year has passed since that mess, and about two years since the relationship itself. So, where am I now? How do I learn to relax and truly give someone else a fair shot? What really eats at me is whether I even HAVE the right—being this psychologically wrecked, this emotional wreck—to enter a relationship with a perfectly normal girl and dump all this heavy baggage onto her shoulders through no fault of her own? I have a thousand questions, and just being alone isn't the solution; it's just an escape... The one bright spot is that I'm tired of running, and I truly want to take action and fix this part of my life that feels so fundamentally broken 😢

It’s a sad story.
I don't know, old friend. It feels like I'm just going in circles myself. Honestly, I have this nagging feeling that the answer lies somewhere within that concept of "true justice." If we actually lived by that, there wouldn't be all this constant fear, all the endless calculating, or these paranoid scenarios we keep running through in our heads.

Well, damn. He’s nowhere to be found.

I can't quite make out what you're trying to say there. You might want to try typing that again. kaže:
copperfox22 — I definitely underestimated you, so I don't really have anything else to add. Best of luck.

Are you seriously underestimating me?
(And honestly, that was usually my ace in the hole.) 😬 )
Thanks, anyway.

Walter Peterson said:YOU DON'T HAVE THAT RIGHT. However, you do have the right (and indeed, the obligation) to prioritize yourself by sorting out the mess in your head and exorcising those demons first. It’s easy to just say, "Someone broke me; I'm damaged goods, my luck has run out, and all I can do now is ruin someone else."

I'm not just saying this to you, but to everyone facing similar struggles: stop playing the victim! I categorically refuse to be a victim. I am not some object that random passersby in my life can crush so thoroughly that I become useless or nothing more than a burden to others. I am not a broken toy.

When a person views themselves as having inherent value, they realize that temporary failures don't define them. I leave those broken toys to someone else. I approach people with positive expectations and a smile; I give people the opportunity to be good, and if they miss it, it's their loss, not mine.

In short: less self-pity, more action.

Man, this one has cost me so much over the years... if only I could get a little something back for my trouble.😁

If they miss out on her, that’s their loss, not mine.

Honestly, northernwolf3, this is just way too much for me... it’s definitely not my scene.
Loss is mine too, honestly—as long as the person is someone I actually like and nothing was forced into place.

I value myself, sure, but I’m not under any illusions that I’m some kind of perfect fit for every single person out there. 🙂

Mark Hughes36 said:That sounds fine in theory—everyone has flaws, it’s common sense.
But it's much harder to swallow in practice when someone, despite having the 😉, decides to hire a new plumber instead...

🙏
It’s like being led straight into a swamp full of frogs and leeches 😍

Walter Peterson said:Of course you can't. 🙂

What I meant was the actual struggle we always seem to debate here: how to prevent our past failures from paralyzing us moving forward. How to work on ourselves—to become more positive and open to meeting new people—so that when that famous moment of falling in love finally happens, we don't end up sabotaging it ourselves.

Everything you just listed (literally everything) is exactly what I haven't been able to pull off this last time... especially that famous falling in love part. Honestly, I'm not even mourning it... but right now, I'm just stuck in a rut, waiting to see what happens. No drama intended, it’s just that this whole situation really got to me.... it left me with nothing but a pile of questions, uncertainty, fears, and distrust. There are plenty of reasons for that, but it's irrelevant to this thread right now.

The only thing left is to hope that time (as usual) does its job.
Otherwise, I'm completely screwed 😁

edit: Mark Hughes36 & Walter Peterson—you guys are totally tripping 😁

Mark Hughes36 said:Leah was clearly more focused on figuring out if she was making some kind of mistake herself—maybe something fixable—by picking guys who turned out to be total busts later on. 😉

Look, my stage, they just don't get it. 🤣
Go grab another beer. 😁

wiredmoose3 said:I wouldn't exactly say so based on those last two questions...🤔
But if that really is the core issue—and we're assuming it is—then we’re going to need a bit more detail to work with.😬

🙂
I'm not really watching that movie. 😁

Come on, you're just messing with me, you know...

I am not 😁
but isn't it nice to philosophize a little? I feel like being a bit deep, just tossing around some smart thoughts.

Seriously though, I've currently convinced myself (I don't know why it's hitting me this hard, but here we are) that even this potential new guy (if anyone even notices him or films him... which is a big if 😬) will end up being the wrong choice again.
I feel like I'll just keep replaying old movies in my head, and they'll end up blocking me from trying anything new. I worry I won't have enough trust, neither in my own judgment nor in this guy..

Paranoia? Maybe. But it's the first time I've thought about it this way, and that's what worries me. I could blame it on "current disappointment," but this fear has taken such a massive hold on me.
Have I explained myself well enough now? And honestly, I'm wondering if anyone else feels this way. How do you deal with it, and what can you say about the whole thing in general? 🙂

I suspect this has something to do with age, but also with the "scripts" we've lived through... no offense to all those young girls running around in pink sneakers.😍

It’s almost there, if only they spoke Spanish 😁
So we've gone from talking about "all my past lives" straight into New Age lifestyle recipes— Zen and solitude
:holy mother and all the saints: : cruising in a Rolls-Royce:

Hmm... being alone?
I can be by myself whenever I feel like it. 🤷
I've been doing this since I was three (my mom says I was born that way).
I can handle everything on my own.
Whatever I can't manage, I just outsource it.
I'll deal with the heavy lifting solo.
I'll follow the boss's orders to the letter, all by myself.
And I carry all the "side gigs" too.
My friends are there,
my weird habits and hobbies,
even my dear little beast of a pet.
There are books,
laughter,
and plenty of fun.

Should I keep going?? Or has anyone else caught the thread? 🙂

People are capable of being alone; that's not the question. But at the same time, the desire to have someone by your side shouldn't be questioned either.
Not so they can "complete" you
not so they can "give your life meaning" 🙂
not to make life interesting or whatever else
not to carry you on their back
etc.

Just to be there, next to you 🙂...that's more than enough when it comes to—The Someone.
That's why I think these hollow stories about solitude are nonsense... they just don't hold water.

wearyhawk83 said:Leah would never realize that if there are no misses, then nothing is a hit. You’d just zero everything out and blend into one. That’s when you truly find life, both in the "pain" and the "joy."
You have to find that "something special" within yourself first; only then can you truly live out love.

I get it, but that sentence is honestly pretty silly to me. You "feel" a hit... you don't need a bunch of philosophy. We all have enough senses to recognize a "bingo" moment.

"That certain something" must first be found within oneself, only then can love be lived.

No, "that certain something" is when it doesn't matter if they're dark, horned, goofy, or acting out—who they are or what they do—because you just click and they fit perfectly... they are flawed and "real," and you just want them to be yours. 😍

But the questions were actually
- Why can't we find them? (Or keep them 😳) 😁
- How do you overcome the fear when you feel "something in the air" again, because the memory of past pain is such a powerful force keeping you stuck in place?

wearyhawk83 said:But wait, what even counts as a "relationship fail" or a "bad call"? Does that kind of thing even exist? Seriously, think about it: if you spend a beautiful stretch of time with someone, and then they go and pull some total BS—like cheating or any other massive disappointment—does that really erase all the good moments from your perspective? Can those ugly moments actually dim the present and turn a bright sunny day into total darkness in your eyes? Heck no, they can't! Why? Because those moments happened, they were lived, and you can't change the past. There is zero point in denying them or letting them ruin the beauty of right now by getting tangled up in a web of dark thoughts. Instead, why not just move forward with a smile and the mindset of "life is beautiful"? I know, I know—it sounds nearly impossible when you're in the thick of it, but whenever you find your footing, you have the power to throw your hands up and say, "This is my life, and I'm going to live it exactly how I want!" The thing is, people haven't learned how to live with actual respect for life, for others, or for the world, so their passion just burns out fast. But even when that spark dies, and you're sitting there alone for those ten minutes before you drift off to sleep, that’s your most honest moment. That’s when you realize the only truth is the one you found in that burst of energy. The question is: are you going to get back up and keep pushing, or are you going to sit around wallowing in self-pity over coffee with friends? You can choose to finally learn the difference between right and wrong, beautiful and ugly, and start valuing the highs and lows of life equally. You can take that relationship where you felt wronged and finally start living by the code: "Yes, I am enough. I am freaking enough. I have value, and I don't need to play stupid games with myself or others to prove it." Why act out some fake role, trying to look superior or constantly struggling to be "enough" for someone else, when your most noble role is simply being enough for yourself? That is the only thing that truly matters.

it isn't a failure based on what actually happened. Not even close. You can't just erase beautiful moments from your history. A failure is when things don't land—when there's no longevity, no real alignment, none of that "click" where everything finally falls into place perfectly 😁

A failure is defined by the ache it leaves behind... because it saps your courage to try again. Who in their right mind wants to go through the meat grinder all over again? It’s a failure because you can't just walk away from the void it creates. It’s a failure precisely because it felt good, yet it didn't work out. No sane person wants to give up something that actually brought them joy

It's a failure because getting back off the ground after you've fallen is exhausting. And falling hurts. People haven't figured out how to bypass the pain yet . That sting of loss, the loneliness, the emptiness—that's the whole point. 🙂

Was this supposed to be comforting? 🤣
You're praying to the wrong god 😁

northernwolf3 said:Look, if you really want to get down to brass tacks, everything that’s been highlighted in bold is essentially the heart and soul of the whole matter.
You really just have to come to terms with the fact that sometimes, life is just going to throw you a curveball, and honestly, shit happens.
Maybe it’s just you, copperfox22... or maybe it’s everyone else too (though, honestly, I feel it right along with you).😁)
Listen, this doesn't mean you have to hang up your knitting needles or stop making those cozy sweaters altogether. It’s really just about timing. If you’re feeling completely burnt out right now, then honestly, just sit down and give yourself permission to rest—let your fingers relax, give your brain a break, or whatever else needs some downtime. Once you've had a moment to recharge, you'll find yourself ready to jump right back into it with a much lighter step.😁
You also have to be able to come to terms with the idea that maybe, just maybe, you aren't destined to possess every single thing that might bring you happiness in this lifetime.
It’s a bit of a tough pill to swallow at first, I know, but once you truly wrap your head around the reality of it all, there’s this incredible sense of relief that washes over you, almost like a massive weight is finally being lifted off your chest because you realize that in the next life, everything is going to work out so much better.
Or maybe even the third option...😁

Where did this thread even go? 😕
What next life?.. Give me a break, I'm living in this one right now. And whatever I want, I want it now.
And to be honest, it hurts thinking about the past, and yeah, the future too. But when I actually get to live that future, then I'll deal with it. Right now, my focus is on this one, single life I have. 🙂

So, as far as this whole "acceptance" thing goes, it’s just not happening for me.

Thomas Moore3 said:Why should having a "partner" or "someone else" be a prerequisite for finding happiness? Can't people find fulfillment through countless other avenues? Or is there still this outdated mindset that if you aren't married, you haven't truly succeeded—even if you’re leading the country or running major charities?

Personally, I see things differently. There are endless ways to achieve personal fulfillment. A partner is just one option among many. They aren't always essential.

I don't know who you're trying to convince here. Me, or yourself?
I am fulfilled in every damn way possible, except for that. And yes, I miss it... I need it.
Some people find "meaning" in other things. Good for them. I'm just not one of those people. So what? What's the issue? I don't see any reason why you or anyone else should be telling someone else what they need out of life. I know myself well enough, and I've had enough life experience to know exactly what I want and what I need.
If you're feeling great that way, awesome. Fine by me. But please, stop lecturing others on what's best for them. 😉

The reason I started this thread was just to reflect on making a bad choice. Nothing more, nothing less.

I'm trying to pull out the Bill of Rights😁
Something about the deck doesn't feel right😬

wiredmoose3 said:To be fair, 😍...it seems even the geniuses are on the same page here. 🤣

As they say...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDRGNLATlXs

🙂

Thanks, friend, but I’m just not as certain as you are.
And honestly, the worst part is when you start losing faith. 😢

Man, I’m going to be the cashier at the checkout 😁, and he’s going to walk up like:

And Mary was happier than she'd ever been before.
But get this—he tells me: "I finally met the love of my life."
About a month ago, when I was heading down to the corner store
Just grabbing some bread and a carton of milk
And there I am at the register, and I lock eyes with her—everything just stops.
It was like my brain went completely numb; all I could hear was her voice:
"Hey, honey, here's your change."

😍

And now look at this mess—all this magic and new drama to deal with. 😁

cosmictinker21, I think you completely missed the mark on this one... what's the term again? 🙂soccer

Walter Peterson said:The only logical conclusion is that there is no logic. We are all sitting here attempting to be rational, dissecting everything because it’s impossible to grasp how such a vital aspect of life can remain entirely outside our control—especially when one feels they've earned happiness in that department. The universe isn't inherently fair. I will reiterate my previous point: luck plays a role. There is endless evidence that misfortune strikes even the most unlikely people. In fact, I was quite pleased today after reading a story on Reddit about a woman who finally found "The One" and is truly happy after years of searching. 🙂

Honestly, the whole thing is just one big damn game of roulette. I’ve burned through every single chip I had... blown through all my savings😳 and now I have to scrape my way back up from zero and tighten my belt if I ever plan on stepping foot in a casino again.😬

I'm heading out on "vacation" for a while. Good luck to you all with the spin.🙂

Mark Hughes36 said:At least I'll have enough chocolate to last me several lifetimes.😁

Oh, please. Tell me about it.🙄

Mark Hughes36 said:The whole point is just reaching that state where you truly don't give a damn.
Whatever. You'll live.
It seems like that mindset pays off. At the very least, you stop questioning your own sanity every time things fall apart, or obsessing over all those "what if" scenarios.

I’ve come to believe the healthiest approach is to accept that there is no such thing as justice or blame in relationships. It all just boils down to a matter of compatibility—or the lack thereof—at any given moment.

Just to be clear, this is purely theoretical.
It’s a relief to see how much ground I've actually covered during this internship. 😁

And that's just a glimpse of what fate has in store for us.
The truth, though nobody's exactly lining up to hear it. 😁

I couldn't agree more. Absolutely. 🙂

Just to be clear, I'm strictly theorizing here.
If only I had actually managed to get that far in real life. 😁

🤣🤣🤣 Man, oh man... 🙂

Mark Hughes36 said:In my view, it's pure ego: "How is it possible that someone I love this much doesn't see me as worthy of their devotion?"

Well, at least you've confirmed—or rather, you have—that I'm not being selfish, 😁 which is something some people seem to take personally.
But we always end up circling back to the first point: why is it always 🤣 😬

Anyway, I have to run... I've started philosophizing again, and that never ends well. 😳
You guys figure out a meaningful answer.

Walter Peterson said:Well, that is precisely what I am asking you. I realize they aren't similar as individuals, but what are these specific things? What would you consider your sine qua non criteria?

I fail to see what you mean by that question.

Mine are... quite significant, actually. 😁

Should I even start listing the classics, or should I jump straight to the ones that feel unique and essential to me? 😍

I'm not sure I follow—what exactly are you getting at with that question?

It's about that moment when you realize just how flawed this "beloved soul" of yours actually is. When you see all those shortcomings that you usually wouldn't tolerate in anyone else, yet you still love them and find it impossible to walk away. 🙂

Walter Peterson said:Precisely.🙂

Walter Peterson said:If you make a hundred attempts at dating the exact same type of man and nothing works, perhaps it's time to consider if a different personality type is required?

It is always easier to stick with what is familiar, simply repeating learned behavioral patterns. However, clearly, that isn't yielding the desired results.

I once read an interesting observation in a book: if the map doesn't match the terrain, the map is wrong.😉

I wouldn't want to oversimplify things like that. I mean, what does "the same type" even actually mean in this context?
I’m speaking from my own perspective here, of course. What I wanted to point out is that while every one of them possessed certain qualities that technically qualified them for the position—you know, met the basic criteria—they weren't actually all that similar. Far from it, in fact.

Changing someone's "type"? I honestly think that’s a debatable concept to begin with. A "type" isn't just one single trait; it’s an entire constellation of qualities that make up a person. If those specific traits are exactly what you value, what you find attractive, and—more importantly—what you actually need in a partner, then how can you really change your type? You'd essentially be trying to change your own fundamental values. 🙂

Look, I’m speaking strictly from my own personal experience here—I don't know how everyone else approaches this, but I have these certain "tests" I run, and believe me, they tend to hold up. Liars. They’re failing on the very first exam, and there isn't even a chance for a retake. 😁That’s exactly why things don't stay on my desk for very long. I have a pretty low threshold for mediocrity; if a recording doesn't show genuine potential right out of the gate, I move on almost immediately.

I’m more interested in figuring out what exactly this "something" is—that one thing that seems to cross every single flaw and tie them all together.

An update on this: He was telling me all about her—how she was narcissistic, exhausting, selfish, the whole nine yards. But then he follows it up by saying he loved her more than anyone else he’s ever known, and now he can’t find a way to move on. It makes you wonder, doesn't it? Why is it that certain people can hold onto you like that, even when they possess the exact traits you can't stand? It’s those very flaws that should be dealbreakers, yet somehow, there’s this one thing about them that overrides everything else and keeps the feeling alive. What is that one thing that manages to cancel out all the negatives and keeps the love from fading?

Mark Hughes36 said:Look, we've all heard the endless chatter about what defines a "real man."

However, many would argue there's no guarantee a woman can actually spot one when she sees him. 😉
It’s also incredibly common for people to be fooled by appearances—fake confidence and manufactured charisma, which works far too often in this superficial era we live in.

For instance, it’s not rare for a girl to think she's met the next big thing, only to find out he's married, or some guy who hits the gym hard only to vanish the second things get real—leaving her to deal with a crisis alone without a shred of support.

Honestly, there isn't a single thread on this forum that hasn't touched upon this "crucial" question.
Don't you think it's a bit pretentious to expect us to find an answer right now? 😉

As for me, I've stopped searching for the Holy Grail of dating.
I’m trying to convince myself that I simply don't care who wants or expects what kind of worldview someone else holds. Luck usually only strikes when you stop overthinking these things entirely.

It won't be easy, but I'll try. 😁

I definitely agree with the sentiment, but doesn't it feel like by adopting that "I don't care" attitude, you're actually just throwing in the towel and walking away from everything?

That’s how it feels to me. That's the exact mindset I've been operating under—acting self-assured and untouchable, like I'm "shielded" from all the bullshit. But then there comes a moment where you realize you're just lying to yourself. You actually do care, and this supposed unavailability to everyone else's advances ends up doing more harm than good. In reality, it hurts only you.

I'm sitting here in my own little fortress, and at the end of the day, what does that get me? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just loneliness and isolation.

Mark Hughes36 said:Look, copperfox22, you're asking the million-dollar question right there. 😁

Honestly, there are probably hundreds of millions of guys out there wondering exactly what those damn plumbers have that they don't.

That’s one secret that’s staying buried forever.

I think we’ve finally hit on the core question of this whole thread. What exactly is that "something" I—or anyone else—is lacking?

For me, that "something" usually boiled down to them not being masculine enough. And when I say masculine, I mean with a capital 'M.' That's a pretty big distinction for me. They had all the other qualities, otherwise, they wouldn't have even made the cut in the first place.

As for that one specific instance where I couldn't quite put my finger on what was missing? Honestly, I haven't a clue. I’d give a million bucks if I could figure it out. 😬

So, let's turn it back to you: what is that "Something" for you? That one thing that either keeps you hooked, holds you back, or draws you in?

Are you actively looking for that same quality in the next person (or is it something completely different every time), or is it the very thing that keeps you tethered to an ex?

I suspect most of us can spot certain recurring patterns or traits that seem to show up in pretty much every partner we've ever had.