Posts by Sean Cruz

northernbadger12 said:I really wanted to lay out the whole story right here, but I’m just swamped right now, and honestly, I don't want my coworkers snooping around at my little obsession. 😁
I'm loving it, though—the theme is really starting to come together!

And you know, speaking of "to have or to be," I think the only kind of love that actually works is this specific idea... it's about living the love and feeling it deeply, without that desperate need to own someone or possess them. 😍

I'll try to write out my specific scenario and how it all played out over the weekend
Catch ya later! 👍

I disagree. Love between two people is perfectly possible even when they are together. We shouldn't generalize and claim that love only counts when it's "realized" while dismissing everything else as mere illusions—that’s just not how it works. Everyone carries their own set of assumptions, and if we want to keep this conversation going, everyone needs to define what "love" actually means to them. To me, the concept is far too vast to be captured in just a few sentences.

By the way, don't buy into the modern obsession with labeling "possession" as inherently negative. In my view, the word "belonging" is much more appropriate. 🙂

stormycanyon11 said:Love is essentially a singular force, though it manifests in billions of different ways, which is why we all walk around convinced that our specific version is the one true thing—and honestly, I can't say I blame us, given how unique every individual experience really is. If we can just let love exist, even if it’s nothing more than a persistent, abstract idea, then perhaps there’s hope. There’s an old saying going around that suggests success is merely the grave where love goes to die, a thought that certainly opens up a whole new rabbit hole of debate...🙂

I haven't heard that one, but I have heard this:

Marriage is the death of love, and a wife is the cross one bears above it. 😬 🤣

From that same author: 😁

For women, marriage is a comedy that begins with a wedding; for men, it is a tragedy that ends with death.

stormycanyon11 said:Have we even begun to determine if we are merely chasing a fixed concept that lacks any actual foundation, or have we actually progressed beyond that point? Love takes so many different shapes, and everyone’s experience is entirely unique, yet the fact that so many people insist their specific version is the only truth is an added complication that complicates everything. There are various kinds of love; some manifest fully only to be severed prematurely, some endure for a time before eventually flickering out, and others somehow persist forever, regardless of how strange that might seem to an outsider. Personally, I have lived through several different iterations, and each was genuine and true in its own way, but I find myself lacking the desire to argue about it—though, lately, I am starting to feel as though there might be only one truly authentic, unrepeatable kind, or at least one that feels more real and singular than all the rest...

We're just waiting on the OP to clear things up.

Love comes in all shapes and sizes, and everyone’s journey with it is entirely their own. One of the biggest hurdles people face is the stubborn belief that their specific perspective is the only truth worth holding onto. It complicates everything. There are different kinds of love—some ignite beautifully only to be cut short, some burn steady before eventually flickering out, and others somehow manage to endure forever, no matter how strange that might look to an outsider.

Exactly. People throw the word "love" around like it’s some universal constant, when in reality, they're just using it to describe an endless loop of whatever they personally happen to value. It’s entirely subjective—what one person calls love, another might call obsession or just a passing whim. It changes completely from one individual to the next.

I’ve personally walked through several different versions of this, and honestly, they were all equally authentic and real in their own way.

No ordinary love... 🙂

northernbadger12 said:Hey there, silly! 😁

But honestly, he isn't really blocking people out emotionally... he just seems focused on sex, you know? Like, he just wants to satisfy that physical need, though maybe he's saving all that for his sweetheart who's currently over in Japan right now. 😛

And from what he's telling me, it sounds like she isn't giving him any feedback at all. I mean, if I were in her shoes and actually wanted to be with him, I'd probably still be with him, even from a distance... we aren't kids, after all. Knowing that I'd eventually come back home to him would definitely help things along. It's like—he's waiting for me. I don't know, I'm just trying to wrap my head around it. 🤷

🙄
You gave me the answer yourself:

I suppose I could also save that for my dear, since she's currently out in Japan. 😛

Based on what he’s saying, it sounds like she isn't giving him any feedback at all. Honestly, if I were in her shoes and actually wanted to be with him, I’d make an effort to stay connected, even if it was just long-distance. We aren't kids anymore. Knowing that I'd eventually be coming back home should be enough motivation—it's like, "he's waiting for me." I just don't get it, and I'm struggling to wrap my head around it. 🤷

Do you really want to get tangled up in that mess?

northernbadger12 said:Well, you two certainly found my thread just to pick a fight over
The whole thing is honestly just some fictional romance I cooked up.

So, here’s the setup—he’s totally in love with her, but she’s away studying in Japan. Before she left, they were super close friends, but that’s really where the story ends. They still talk, sure, but it’s no different than how you’d chat with any other acquaintance. He’s just sitting there waiting for the day she comes home, but she hasn't promised him a single thing.

And you're telling me I shouldn't let anyone else get close because of this??? Like, should I just pour all my energy into that one thought? Maybe?

Then she finally comes back, and she’s got this sweet Japanese guy with her—she tells him he’s the love of her life.

Anyway, I guess I started getting a little carried away with the storytelling, but whatever... it’s a wild topic, so I guess the drama follows. 😁

My apologies. I have a tendency to get carried away during a debate, and before I know it, it starts looking more like an argument than a discussion. 🤣

Let’s be blunt about the situation: he’s in love with her, but she’s currently studying in Japan. Before she left, they were incredibly close friends, but that’s where the connection ends for now. They still talk, sure, but it’s no different from how he'd chat with any other acquaintance. He’s essentially just biding his time until she moves back to the States, even though she hasn't made him a single promise.

I knew there was a real story hiding beneath the surface. 😁 It’s always like this.

He clearly wants to wait until she gets back. How can you honestly say he isn't making promises to her? Does she even have a clue how he feels about her? There's a lot of ambiguity here, if you ask me.

Should you really let others get close just because of that? Is it worth pouring all your energy into such a thing?

He clearly intends to pour all his energy into that.

She’s coming back, and she’s bringing a charming guy from Japan along with her—she claims she finally met the love of her life.

This song just popped into my head: 🤣

My dear is currently in Japan.

Gerald Ward61 said:"Your garden is gorgeous... you said four gravesites? They look lovely. You thinking about adding more?" 😂

I once had this dream where someone close to me just... rose from the dead. It absolutely terrified me... until someone, or maybe some voice in the dream, told me: "Don't be scared. If our loved ones actually crawled out of their graves, nobody would ever fear death again." It’d just be a party. 🙂

And seriously, imagine the chaos... "Where am I supposed to take you, man? Why can't you just rest in peace like everyone else!" Plus, think about the legal nightmare... the laws would be insane... and the emotions... I don't even know what's left for a person to feel after that. 🤷 What would that even look like?

🤣
I had absolutely no idea you possessed such a sharp sense of humor. 😍

I once had a dream where someone close to me rose from the dead. It was terrifying at first... until someone, or perhaps some presence in the dream, whispered: "Don't be afraid. If our loved ones actually rose from their graves, nobody would fear death anymore." It would just be a celebration. 🙂

The woman who raised me—she was essentially my second mother—always used to say: Don't fear the dead; fear the living..
And she was right...

Seriously, imagine the chaos... "Where am I supposed to go with you, dear? Why can't you just rest in peace like everyone else!" And think about the laws... what would they even look like? Not to mention the emotional toll... I don't know how much a person could possibly take. 🤷 What would that world even look like?

I think this is a fascinating topic. 😬 We should probably start a new thread over in spirituality or somewhere else to dive into this properly without cluttering this discussion. 🙂

cosmictinker21 said:Well, that’s exactly my point. It’s pretty obvious the guy was in love with her and expected that feeling to be mutual. In this context, sex is just one avenue for seeking intimacy. But clearly, she wasn't carrying the same intentions he was. He felt that gap, realized it, and saw that instead of the emotional connection he wanted, he just got... well, mechanics. Purely biological. He realized she isn't looking for love, while he is. And he's looking for it from the wrong person—someone incapable of meeting his needs the way he needs them to be met.

Good luck trying to explain that to the people who think life is nothing more than a series of sports stats and weekend hobbies. If it weren't for these drives, there probably wouldn't be nearly as many affairs, flirts, or hunters out there...

Pick a side. 😁 To me, what you're saying now seems to contradict everything else you've argued in your previous posts.

Gerald Ward61 said:Him 😁.

But why would I even bother being pissed off? I’d just be one of those crazy ladies fighting with a grave. Or staring at a headstone with pure contempt instead of any actual warmth or love... 😂

P.S.: He'd probably have a fresh bouquet waiting for me every single morning. Okay, fine, maybe I'd skip a day... if I was actually feeling truly livid. 😳 🤣

My daughter actually planned to have all our loved ones buried in the backyard, just so she wouldn't have to make the trek to the cemetery. 😁 She even promised she'd bring us a little bit of her old allowance every day to keep the memory alive. 🤣

See, your ideas aren't half bad. 😍

cosmictinker21 said:Of course not. So, I don't think it works as an illustration of love. As a concept, sure. I was thinking more along the lines of other heavy-hitting verses.

I'll give my body up to cancer
in the soil of fatty breasts, where snails dwell
forgotten, I will sleep in the dark
like a seahorse hidden in the deep depths...

Uh, just off the top of my head, I might have butchered the wording...

This is just sarcasm regarding the meaning of life.

And me, in my romantic frenzy, still believe that love is one of the most precious things in existence.🙂

But you were arguing the exact opposite in your previous post—that he was actually in love with her, and only perceived her that way because she failed to live up to his expectations. That isn't the case here. My point was simply that sometimes holding onto an ideal is better than having sex just for the sake of it. This isn't about a "fixed idea"; it is quite literally the realization of sex, which finally allowed him to see who she truly was. At the end of the day, physical intimacy isn't inherently an act of love; it only carries that meaning when it is actually rooted in love.

Gerald Ward61 said:Holy hell, I wouldn't give up on love even if my life depended on it... or if God called me home early. I'd never forgive him for leaving me. Honestly, I'd hold both him and God responsible. 😁

I don't even believe in God, anyway. Who would I have left to curse? 🤔 🤣

cosmictinker21 said:I suppose I could be offended by someone using sarcasm as their primary way of navigating reality. Sounds exhausting...

I honestly can't imagine how I'd feel if my partner died. Lost, obviously. Devastated. But eventually, that love evolves into a part of your lived experience, a deeper understanding, and later, memories that shape who you are. That person would still be woven into my life through thoughts, feelings, and shared moments. It wouldn't be "active" love anymore, though. Real love is the legacy they leave behind within me and my life...

No one has all the answers. That's why we spend our whole lives learning...

To be honest, I’m just not feeling this. It feels less like you're speaking from lived experience and more like you're reciting lines from books you've read. It comes across as somewhat detached. Of course, that’s just my take, and I could be wrong.
As for those I’ve loved who have passed away—and I don't just mean romantic partners, but all kinds of profound connections—I still love them. It’s as simple as that.

cosmictinker21 said:Fortunately, I don't have anyone like that in my circle. Not as a friend, certainly not. As for acquaintances, you just learn to steer clear once you realize what they're about. It reminds me of how Baudelaire wrote those verses about a woman who simply didn't live up to his expectations. He was probably looking for some sort of ethereal muse that matched his own intense longings... but since he was a poet, he went ahead and described that disappointment with such sheer intensity. He was just incredibly infatuated, which is a completely different emotional beast than actual love...

Likewise. 🙂

Once you realize an acquaintance is that kind of person, you can just stop hanging out with them.

Of course. That’s exactly what I’m doing.

Even Baudelaire touched on this in his poetry—writing about a woman who simply couldn't live up to his expectations. He was looking for some sort of ethereal muse to match the intensity of his own longings and emotions. But then again, he was a poet, so he didn't exactly hold back when describing his disappointment. He was head over heels, which is a different emotional beast entirely than just being in love.

The point of the poem is simple: after sleeping with a "loose" woman, you're left with nothing but a bitter aftertaste. She isn't some "ideal" anymore; she’s just exactly what she is. Sex is just sex, and that’s the reality it leaves you with. There’s zero mention of love or falling in love here.

cosmictinker21 said:Yeah, women like that are honestly just exhausting. Look, I don't claim to be any kind of fashion expert—that's way out of my league—so I’ll leave the aesthetics to the pros. But I can't help but cringe at the constant verbal sarcasm. It really has no business being in a love story... much like those necrophilic undertones you see in someone like Anaïs Nin.

We're talking about love as a fixed idea here. That's hardly off-topic.

Why shouldn't sarcasm have a place in a love story? You seem to be suggesting that "true" love only exists while a relationship is actively functioning—whether it's a marriage or otherwise. So, what happens when your partner passes away? Does the love just vanish? I'm genuinely curious. Personally, I’ve always been a bit of a cynic, and I find irony and sarcasm to be perfectly natural ways to express myself. If you can't wrap your head around that, feel free to be offended.

cosmictinker21 said:Yeah, women like that are honestly just exhausting. Look, I don't claim to be any kind of fashion expert—that's way out of my league—so I’ll leave the aesthetics to the pros. But I can't help but cringe at the constant verbal sarcasm. It really has no business being in a love story... much like those necrophilic undertones you see in someone like Anaïs Nin.

We're talking about love as a fixed idea here. That's hardly off-topic.

I couldn't agree more. I wouldn't want a woman like that anywhere near me—not even as an acquaintance, let alone a friend. 😱 🙂

cosmictinker21 said:That’s a pretty interesting observation. Almost worthy of Baudelaire. Is that your usual move?

Anyway, the point of this thread is exploring love as a fixed idea. Honestly, I feel for people who can't tell the difference between actual love and the fictionalized, idealized version we crave. I don't know the backstory regarding your friend, but the OP's reasoning has been laid out pretty clearly. What's actually bothering you? This is just a discussion about the concept of romanticized love. Everyone here is just sharing their thoughts, regardless of whether others find it disagreeable. I'm not trying to diminish your perspective or anyone else's... I'm just stating mine...

I have to admit, your grasp of literary devices is somewhat lacking.

As for Baudelaire, I suspect you might have missed the specific type of woman he’s describing in verses like these:

When the fly sucks all my marrow from the bone,
I turned to her in my utter exhaustion
To offer her my whole being, but then I saw
A sticky, festering mješina, full of stench!

(Vampire Metamorphoses)

P.S. For the record, the rhetorical device I used was sarcasm. I highly recommend this book🙂 as required reading.

Apologies for the tangent.

cosmictinker21 said:This is exactly what I needed to hear... It’s like a balm for a bruised ego. Honestly, if you haven't mastered the art of being alone first, you're basically flying blind. You need that solitude to actually think for yourself, make your own calls, and figure out what you actually want out of life without someone else's thumb on the scale. That’s true maturity—being able to show up and give something meaningful because you’re a whole person, not just half of a broken one. Because love? Love isn't just some cinematic fever dream or this overwhelming, gut-wrenching cosmic explosion we see in movies... it's not just an endless ocean of emotion.

Love is a continuous process, not just a single moment frozen in time. It’s something you have to nurture, water, and protect like a delicate plant in a garden. At its core, love is about creating space for the other person to grow alongside you, so that two separate individuals can intentionally build something real together.

Sure. But once that person passes away, we immediately go hunting for new "meat"—pardon me, I mean looking for new "love." After all, you can't love someone in a grave; they aren't growing or evolving with you anymore. They're just being eaten by worms. 😍

cosmictinker21 said:Well, he shuts me up, obviously. 🙂🙂

I honestly don't get why my sister gets so worked up over everything I post... 🤷
I shared my own sad little story about a guy who meant the world to me. He still does, in his own way, but that doesn't mean I'm still stuck emotionally in the past. My heart is where it belongs now, with my partner. And honestly, that's the only thing that actually matters...

I don't know all the specific details that you and my sister are hung up on; I'm just speaking generally, from the perspective of someone who lived through it. It’s something several women close to me have experienced too, and if you ask any therapist or psychologist, they’d tell you exactly what I described is what real love looks like. So, I really can't be blamed for how I see things...

Oh, please. Look at how someone can play the innocent victim. 😁
First, you write this sci-fi story about my friend—knowing about her only as much as I’ve shared in this thread—yet you jump to conclusions that she’s some "poor, sick woman." 🙄 Then, you wrap it up by claiming I'm "angry" at everything you say, simply because I told you I wasn't interested in your opinion. 🤣
We’ve exchanged maybe twenty posts on this entire forum, if I recall correctly, so I genuinely have to wonder if you're doing okay. 🤷
I’d warmly suggest you apply for an internship with the visionary folks over at Microsoft. Maybe they'll actually take you.

I was speaking generally.

No, you weren't speaking generally. You jumped into this thread specifically to respond to Lin-Manuel Miranda's post directed at me; essentially, you gave your answer regarding my story. Because of the sheer nonsense you wrote, I pointed out that you're just making up scenarios in your head (which you are, since you don't even know who the people in the story are, let alone the plot itself), and that’s why I said I didn't care what you thought.

Gerald Ward61 said:Ugh, tell me about it... people just need to live their lives and do their thing. Honestly, everyone is so sick of explaining themselves all the time. 🙂

Exactly. 🙂

Gerald Ward61 said:I dig everything you wrote... but I'd also argue there is a connection here. It might not be obvious, but it's definitely there. 🙂

In this instance, it exists. That said, love can certainly involve togetherness, but it doesn't have to. It isn't a requirement.

@Maher18: Please, keep on spinning those imaginary scenarios in your head if it makes you feel better...
Frankly, I had no intention of debating you in the first place, nor do I have any interest in what you think.

cosmictinker21 said:Sure, but the real question is why they feel this need for one another. Love can exist, sure, but is it a mature, partnership-driven kind of love—the kind that grows and builds something together—or is it just maintaining a status quo where both people are only getting half of what they need? Because real love is whole. When it's truly there. All those outside factors—marriage, living on opposite coasts, or realizing a real connection is impossible due to social or religious reasons—those are just obstacles preventing love from actually happening. And unfulfilled love isn't really love. If it was once realized (doesn't have to be physical) and then shifted, it usually just turns into a deep friendship and closeness. A platonic bond. Honestly, most people would probably love to have someone like an angel in their corner to turn to, even if they aren't their primary partner.

At the end of the day, a fixation is just a fixation, no matter what fancy name we give it...

Love doesn't require you to be inseparable—it looks like you're confusing symbiosis with actual affection.
Love is one-sided, regardless of what people like to tell themselves. Even when two people claim to love each other, that doesn't mean the feeling is balanced. In most cases, it simply isn't.

Unrequited love isn't actually love at all.

You’re entitled to your opinion. I’m certainly entitled to disagree.

A fantasy is just a fantasy, no matter how much people insist on calling it love.

And you're stepping in here like some kind of judge to tell us what love is and isn't? ☕

I agree that fixation—in the sense of a pathological obsession—is a sickness. When someone relentlessly pursues another person who has zero interest in them, that individual is clearly unwell. However, what I am referring to when I use the term "fixation" in this specific context is something entirely different from the scenario you’ve constructed. Frankly, you seem to have no idea what the actual issue is here.