Sandra Morgan2 said:"Quote:"
The more you love yourself, the less room there is for jealousy or envy. It’s simple. True self-love leaves zero space for those toxic feelings to take root. On the flip side? Pathological jealousy is just a massive red flag—it’s a clear sign that someone lacks fundamental love for themselves.
How can you even tell if her fears are irrational and completely detached from reality?
I just can't... That’s why I said he was nothing more than a catalyst. He just stirred up something that was already lying dormant inside her. Once she actually digs into it, she might realize—among other things—that he totally deserved to be kicked in the ass. Or something like that, anyway!
If you’re really thinking along those lines, tell me: would you honestly look your boyfriend or husband dead in the eye and tell him to go hook up with someone else just because he's into it? ☕ Is that the art of love? 🙄
Yeah. It wouldn't be cold, per se, but I’d keep it warm and human. "Look, honey, I can see you're struggling... so let's just cut to the chase. Figure out what you actually want. Are you just chasing impulses? Are you bored and looking for a change? Maybe you've fallen for someone else, or maybe I'm just not the person you need for this next chapter of your life. Either way—don't worry, be happy." I'm not giving him permission, obviously. I'm not his owner; he's free to do whatever he wants. But he needs to realize everything comes with a price. And the price for exploring other people might just be that I won't be standing by his side anymore. That's the art of love, Sean Cruz. But because of a century's worth of social programming regarding this nonsense we call "romantic love," you'll probably think I'm being sacrilegious.
Romantic love centers on drugs, which only sets the stage for jealousy. It's fragile, fleeting, and honestly? Just infantile. Real, mature love is built on self-love.
I agree she needs more self-confidence, but why shouldn't he sacrifice something for the sake of the art of love—if that's what he's feeling? 😉
To me, "sacrifice" is a disgusting word—honestly, it feels like a curse. When it comes to the art of love, there is no such thing as sacrifice. Love is simply giving, caring, and being attentive. Someone who truly loves won't hurt their partner because wounding someone goes against the very nature of love. And let’s be real: if you actually love yourself, you aren't going to hurt yourself either. If a guy says he's "sacrificing" himself by not texting some other girl just to keep the peace, that’s not love. It just means he still wants to do it, but he’s suppressing his urges so she doesn't get upset. That isn't devotion; it's just being well-trained. He still wants to be talking to someone else.
Honestly, listening to this "spiritual" nonsense makes me want to gag. Just focus on yourself, practice "the art of love," and you'll be fine. 🙏
Sure, maybe for people who let certain "spiritual" gurus brainwash them, everything will feel "fine" because they’ve successfully convinced themselves that's how life should be. But from what I can tell, steeltiger2 actually has a brain and knows how to think for herself, so I doubt any brainwashing is working on her.
And my take? I get the impression that steeltiger2 realized something was deeply wrong with her inner life—that her reactions were becoming irrational, that she had pushed herself nearly to the brink of self-destruction, and that she’s finally ready to change. She's open to hearing what others have to say and then actually doing something about it. That *is* working on yourself, no matter how much it nauseates you...
It’s not some sacred principle, really. It’s a nice sentiment if you can actually pull it off in the real world. Personally, I wouldn't be able to stay stone-faced about it—it would hit me hard. But at the end of the day, the person I love isn't my property, and they have every right to walk away if that's what they choose. Still, don't get me wrong: I wouldn't be indifferent. That much is certain.
Romantic love often revolves around drug use, which inevitably creates the perfect storm for jealousy. It’s a fragile, fleeting kind of affection—essentially just infantile.
That kind of love might be fleeting, but it’s certainly not infantile.
Mature love starts with self-love.
Look, it’s a fact: you can't truly love anyone else if you don't love yourself first. But there's a catch—if that self-love turns into pure narcissism, you won't be able to love anyone else either. Balance is everything. 😉
Someone who truly loves you won't hurt you. Hurting someone just isn't in the nature of love.And honestly, someone who truly loves themselves isn't going to go around hurting themselves either...
That’s exactly the point. Someone who truly loves another person will willingly restrict their own freedom just to ensure they don't cause them any pain.
When a guy holds back from texting another girl just to keep the peace, don't mistake that for loyalty. It’s not about devotion; it’s about damage control. He still wants that attention, he's still interested, but he's simply exercising enough self-control to ensure his partner doesn't get offended. It’s polished behavior—well-mannered, sure—but the underlying desire to flirt elsewhere hasn't actually gone anywhere.
People have all sorts of desires, but actually following through on them—or choosing to hold back—requires either self-control or a genuine lack of affection. We need someone meaningful in our lives to act as a moral compass, someone who makes us conscious of the fact that we don't want to hurt them with our actions. I agree that imposing bans is pointless; he’ll probably just end up messaging ten other people behind her back anyway. But since he knows exactly how much this hurts her, it seems clear he simply doesn't care about her feelings. At that point, you really have to ask yourself if he loves her at all.
I’ve also gotten the impression that Britta realized something was fundamentally broken in her internal world—that her reactions had become erratic, that she’d pushed herself nearly to the brink of suicide, and that she’s actually ready to change. She seems willing to listen to what others have to say and then take action based on that feedback. It’s all part of self-improvement, regardless of how much that concept repulses you...
Of course she realized it. She wouldn't have started this thread if she hadn't. I even advised her to take a page out of Cocaine Nights' book and seek professional help. But just as much as you loathe the word
victim, I can't stand the phrase
self-improvement. To me, it’s a hollow cliché. It reminds me of those types who strut around acting like they're so enlightened because they're "working on themselves." Honestly, there are at least half a billion of those "special individuals" roaming the planet these days. 😁