Posts by Dana Hill73

mellowraven22, if you want a real look at what's going on, go talk to the Diaspora. It’s obvious the admins couldn't care less about how things are moderated as long as they have free labor to do the dirty work—which, let's be honest, is pretty standard practice.

By the way, dragging trolls or "heroes" into this debate is completely irrelevant. We all know when the users are the issue, but here we're talking about incompetent moderators who refuse to admit they aren't cut out for the job. They should just step down, start their own blogs, and do whatever they want there. At least then they could be honest with themselves and the rest of the world.

This forum is a mirror of America, and while I get why one certain jerk won't give up his position for obvious reasons (love), I don't get why some incompetent mods keep clinging to their roles. Don't tell me you're actually getting paid for this level of incompetence? 😁

cheers

mellowraven32 said:The concept of a "draft" causing illness doesn't even exist in the US, except for maybe some old wives' tales. You can't actually get sick from a draft, and it certainly isn't the cause of any disease. Theoretically, the only thing that could happen is a slight dip in your immune system, but we know that sudden temperature shifts—thermal stress—can lower white blood cell counts. However, that's purely theoretical because a simple draft isn't enough to trigger that kind of physical stress...

draft = corrente d'aria (Italian)
draft = courant d'air (French)

Even the instructions on plants from IKEA say "keep out of drafts."

vividgull17 said:😂That guy just can't help himself—he's got to jump in and give an answer.😂 Give me a break, why don't you just crawl even deeper into your hole?😁

So this is some new symptom of delirium tremens where you start seeing nothing but those guys instead of actual white mice, huh?😁

If I were actually sober, I'd be able to show you how much irony was actually involved here.

Seriously, who are these weirdos obsessed with Kim Kardashian? I’ve never seen anyone like them in the Diaspora before 🤷

And don't hold your breath waiting for Kim Kardashian to reply—she usually hides behind the admins when things get messy like this 🤣

Hey, slydrifter39, what's up? 😁

Eric Jackson68 said:Exactly—this Sundance Film Festival 2009 was weaker than last year's, maybe even the one before that. There wasn't much on offer, so you had to dig through the junk to find anything decent (not to mention the garbage), but yeah, this is easily one of the weakest lineups we've seen.

I'm with you 100%. It's a total recession for American cinema right now.

silentpilot6 said:I’ll admit this topic feels a bit discriminatory, but I also find it incredibly real and, frankly, quite an interesting question to pose.

To give you a specific example... I have a neighbor who is a lovely, attractive woman 🙂, but she has two cases of schizophrenia in her immediate family—her mother and her uncle. Since we know this condition can be hereditary in many instances, would I enter a relationship with someone like her? To be honest, I wouldn't... both because of her own potential struggles and the risk that our children (if we ever reached that stage 😁) might inherit it too.
With all due respect to those living with the illness, I wouldn't knowingly start a relationship with someone who is either currently struggling or faces a very high probability of developing it.
Of course, I realize it's a completely different story if I were already in a committed relationship where we were deeply in love 😍 and then discovered these facts later on...

Good grief, there's no Huntington's here, for crying out loud 🙏

This sounds just like that old logic where if your dad was an alcoholic, you're definitely going to be one too—totally out of line. 👎

Lawrence Wilson35 said:The reality is that boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, and children are all PEOPLE.😉
As I've pointed out before, our culture still clings to the delusion that children are somehow "lesser, unformed beings" who only eventually become actual humans.
That is a lie.
It is a classic tactic used by those seeking power. 😉
And unfortunately, American culture remains stuck in that mindset—authoritarian at its core, whether you look at our politics or our religious institutions.

Ugh, honestly, I’ve always said they’re just little people.
It’s funny—my in-laws are Italian, and for years, they wouldn't even use a child's name, just calling them Bimbo or Bimba.
Even now—though I stopped tolerating it ages ago—my mother-in-law will be making lunch and ask me, "What is Bimba eating?" as if she’s some different species. Meanwhile, the little girl is standing right there.
So I tell her: "She usually eats what we eat, but if you aren't sure, here—just go ahead and ask her yourself, since I can't read her mind."
Mind you, I had my daughter eating whatever we were eating since she was eleven months old.

What I'm getting at is that I've never understood this whole mentality where kids are treated like aliens, or how people talk about children as if they aren't even in the room.
To me, they're just small humans. They don't know everything yet and can't do everything themselves—their brains and muscles haven't fully caught up, and they lack experience—so our job is to look out for them and help them out.

Lawrence Wilson35 said:Believe it or not, I agree with you.😁
In fact, if you look back at my previous posts, you can see a recurring theme: kids often know what they *want*, but they rarely know what they actually *need*. That's where the parent comes in. Here is an article I find excellent:
http://www.sretnodijete.net/news.php?readmore=442

I'll add one more thing:
Children need to learn from their own experiences, just like the rest of us. In fact, just think about how many times your parents told you, "Lawrence Wilson35, I think we should do it this way," while you insisted on doing it your way. My parents let me make mistakes (as long as it didn't involve my physical safety—there was no way they'd let me stand in the middle of a busy intersection just because I wanted to). And honestly, I'm glad they did, because it showed me they truly respected me.

Honestly, it feels like we're all drifting apart in this thread. Nobody here is out there swinging a belt—it's all just shades of gray.😉

Btw: great read, couldn't agree more.😉

Lawrence Wilson35 said:I remember it happened four years ago.
A guy and I were at the coast, getting ready to head home.
I was cleaning the floor of the camper trailer since we had already unloaded everything from the car.
He went inside to check on something.
Then he comes out, and his friend and I are standing there outside.
He starts yelling at me because I cleaned it too early, saying I should have waited, blah blah blah...
And then HE SLAPS ME.
Physically—it didn't even hurt that much.
Psychologically—I felt like the biggest piece of trash in the world, and I will never forget that feeling.😉
That doesn't make me a violent person, nor does it mean I'm insecure or whatever.
But the fact remains: in that moment, he compromised both my integrity and his own.😉😢

Good grief—how on earth can you even compare a romantic relationship to a parent-child dynamic? It’s just not the same thing. 🙄
It’s not exactly the same thing—spanking a toddler versus a fifteen-year-old. There's a massive difference.
A kid just doesn't grasp the concept of dignity the way an adult does—it’s just not wired that way yet. My eight-year-old is currently acting like her entire sense of self has been shattered—she’s genuinely wounded—just because I mentioned something to her father that she told me in confidence. To her, it's a massive betrayal of honor; to me, it's just being a parent. ☕ Or if I’m talking about her boyfriend.

And please—don't you dare tell me you ended up staying with that guy after all this. 🙄

Lawrence Wilson35 said:First of all: everyone has a different biological rhythm.😉
I don't know many people who are sleepy by 10 PM.
Generally speaking, I believe everyone should choose when they eat or when they sleep. I consider that a fundamental human right—the right to one's own circadian rhythm.
Don't worry about it; let the kid decide his own basic rights for a few days and you'll be surprised.😉

Secondly:
You—or whoever was having this conversation with your nephew—failed to take responsibility (that is the core issue here):
If YOU, or anyone else conducting this talk with this little guy, wanted him to go to bed at 10 PM because you wanted some peace or for any other reason, you should have said:
"Okay, I see you aren't sleepy right now (it's important to respect others' feelings), but I still want you to go to bed now (it's important to respect my own feelings)." You don't even need an explanation; you just need to own the decision.

I understand you felt, based on experience, that the child would be tired during class the next day. If you really want to tell him that, then say it from your own perspective: "I think you're going to be tired, and I want you to go to bed now." Stand behind your decision. Otherwise, the child just feels like you're lecturing them, acting like an automated secretary repeating memorized lines. A child won't take you seriously as long as you stop using rehearsed scripts instead of speaking honestly about what you think.😉
And honestly, it wouldn't hurt to let kids stay up late sometimes and go to school early the next morning. They will very quickly realize their mistake and start going to bed earlier—essentially sleeping exactly as many hours as they need to feel rested in the morning.
We need to let kids manage their own biological rhythms. It’s a deeply personal matter.
Picture this: a kid gets home from school and heads straight out to the lake to fish, when suddenly the automated voicemail kicks in: "Hey, just a reminder, you have a ton of homework due tomorrow."
And he just replies: "I know," before heading right back to the water. Honestly? You should be thrilled. You've raised a child who takes ownership of their own life—and that’s exactly how they learn to take responsibility for others.

I couldn't disagree more.
If you just let a kid pick when they eat and sleep, you're going to end up with a zombie who's exhausted the next morning when they have to wake up at 7 AM for school.
And I'm not just talking nonsense here—as parents, we have to look out for them in these things.
My daughter can be absolutely wiped, totally running on fumes, but there's no way she's heading to bed—she's just built that way. Sometimes she gets so overtired she actually gets wired and can't settle down, but she'd still rather play video games, chess, or cards than go to sleep. If you let that go on for a few days, she ends up getting sick.
That's when I convince her that she's exhausted and that sleep can fix almost anything. And honestly, you wouldn't believe it—sometimes when she finally crashes on a Sunday afternoon because she's just done, she wakes up and actually thanks me (yeah, yeah, don't roll your eyes) for making her sleep. It actually builds trust, because sometimes she realizes I really do know what's best for her better than she does herself.

silentpilot6 said:My nephew isn't a bad or disobedient kid, but sometimes he just... gets into it. Like the other night. It was basically a test of parental authority, and how are you supposed to respond to that? Call me primitive or an unrefined hillbilly if you want, 😁 but I don't see how his dignity was violated when he got swatted a couple of times with a wooden spoon and retreated to his room. 🤷

That’s the whole point. Some kids need a long talk, some need you to raise your voice, and some just need a trip to the kitchen.😁

silentpilot6 said:To be honest, this feels pretty fascist to me. 😁 It sounds like an "absolute" mindset—the idea that any physical punishment is inherently harmful to a child and that there are simply no circumstances where FC would ever be necessary. 😁To is how they think: anyone who has a single glass of wine is an alcoholic, and anyone who smokes a single joint is a drug addict.
Anyone who hits their child even once strips them of their dignity. Anyone who pulls a kid by the hair is raising a future bully. And anyone who resorts to hitting a child with a wooden spoon is simply an abuser.

Look, I don't mean any harm by this, but honestly? I really wish that one day, after twenty-five rounds of clarifications, explanations, and bans, those "absolute" experts finally experience what it's like when their precious little golden rule fails them for the twenty-sixth time. I’d love to see how they handle that.

I'm with you on that—never say never. Every parent-child relationship is its own unique situation.

silentpilot6 said:Take a look at this scenario from one of those parenting books... someone suggests the little girl was just hungry, thirsty, hot, or bored. Maybe she was, maybe she wasn't, but did it occur to anyone that she might have been testing her brother? She could be trying to assert her authority over him, and no amount of asking, "Are you thirsty? Are you hungry? Is it too hot? Could you help me find a book?" would ever work.
Perhaps she’s simply undisciplined and doesn't know how to act appropriately given the situation...

I don't believe children are born inherently good or bad... just like everywhere else, everyone tests boundaries. Kids test their parents' limits, boyfriends test their girlfriends' limits, and so on. Let's go back to my nephew 😁...
"It's 10:00 PM, time for bed."
"No."
"Come on, you have school in the morning."
"No."
"But you're going to be exhausted tomorrow."
"I don't care."
"If you don't go to your room right now, no cartoons for ten days."
"Whatever..."

So, what then? You can either physically lead the kid to bed—which counts as physical discipline—or pick up a wooden spoon and give him a few swats 😁 so he finally understands. Once he does, the next time he's told it's late and time for bed, he'll actually go.

I'd love to hear what those proponents of "alternative methods" would do in this specific situation. If threats of future consequences don't work, and explaining why it's late or why he needs sleep for school doesn't work... what's left to do?
Tell me—I honestly don't know. 🤷

Look, my kid has never given me that kind of attitude, goddammit. 🤷
But it’s not like they just bolt to bed immediately either. They’ve got their own little tactics—the whole "Oh Mommy, I missed you, let's cuddle" routine to stall for time. It’s constant. One minute we're snuggling, then suddenly they're hungry, then thirsty, then they need attention... and by the time I finally lose my cool and raise my voice, they play the victim and sulk off to their room. ☕

Luckily, my voice sounds like a drag queen from Rio, so when I do snap, it doesn't exactly come off as "gentle." 😁

Benjamin Murphy34 said:🤣

so, what was the poet actually getting at there?🤣🤣🤣

It’s about how people can be genuinely exhausted—and that parents (most of the time) are just doing the best they can with what they've got. Judging them based on nothing but assumptions? That's just pointless nonsense.

Benjamin Murphy34 said:They're spoiled because they have nothing to do, since parents nowadays try to shield them from everything so they don't get "tired"... so they just end up glued to computers and TV instead. And thank God the internet is basically a buffet of violence, so it's no wonder what kids are turning into... Look, I'm not saying you need to be hitting them constantly—there are plenty of kids whose parents don't use corporal punishment who turn out perfectly fine, but those are definitely outliers... XD🤣🤣🤣🤣

Like someone once said, assumptions are the worst kind of bullshit.

Carl Anderson76 said:Quinn:

Hysterical crying? Having thin skin? The absolute worst thing you can do is make assumptions.

I honestly don't know how else to process this. I really don't want to believe that someone would lash out at such a fragile little soul—someone who just came into this world with a blank slate, no real sense of self yet, and absolutely no clue what their actions actually mean or the weight they carry. It’s just hard to wrap my head around a little girl screaming at her mother. Her MOTHER. Her protector. The one person who was supposed to shield her from everything, including her own impulses. She’s the one who brought you into this world, carried you for nine months, nourished you... she cared for you. And then, one terrible moment turns her into some kind of monster that her own child is terrified of? I just can't wrap my brain around a woman transforming into something so... repulsive.
Look, I'm not saying we should put your mom on trial or anything extreme, but men and women alike seriously need better tools when it comes to parenting. Honestly, I feel for your mom just as much as I feel for you. It must be devastating to suddenly become... well, there's no point in even going there. Besides, people who have the stomach for this kind of stuff will just keep trampling over the only innocent, pure things left in this world. My opinion doesn't change the reality of it.

😢😢😢

I've seen innocent five-year-olds spitting on and hitting their biological mothers while the mothers just sit there crying. I don't see what's "innocent" or "good" about that. Maybe everyone would be better off if parents occasionally stepped away from being nothing more than a soft, protective cushion.

I guess I just got lucky with those plugs—they were all low enough. I didn't even bother with the guards once; one kid tried to get close, I shut it down immediately, and she never gave it another thought.
But seriously, tell me—how many kids out there are actually like that? 🙏

Noah Myers8 said:A fine? Seriously?🙂

?
No, I was speaking more like an older sister here.
Since I lost my only brother—and we were incredibly close—I’ve channeled all that affection into my daughter. I protect her and guide her through life. Sometimes I act like we're peers, but let's be real, everyone knows who's actually in charge and setting the boundaries.
The thing is, she trusts me and my judgment. She takes initiative, sure, but when she's stuck, she comes to me.
When she messes up—which usually happens because she's being impulsive or just trying too hard—I don't lecture her like a drill sergeant. I just tell her how it hurt me, or how she insulted me, or why what she did was genuinely dangerous. She's smart and sensitive enough to get the point without a blowout.

Btw: she isn't some spoiled brat running wild. That's just not her personality.

Look, it's true my own mother could have handled things better if she'd had a bit more experience, but I don't see the "generational trauma" you guys keep whining about, and I certainly don't project any of that onto my kid.

Noah Myers8 said:That’s spot on. It’s the easy way out—you use punishment because, as a parent, you hold all the power and strength.
I can't even remember the last time I actually punished my son. Sure, it's happened, but it's probably been at least six months, maybe longer. It's not like I have a little angel living here; he tries to push my buttons constantly and he's always running wild. It's just that I handle things the same way I'd talk through stuff with a friend. And honestly? It works like a charm.

Look, I approach it like I'm the older sister in the situation—and honestly? It works just as well.☕

Kyle Lee7 said:I'm doing just fine, thanks for asking. We’re having a discussion here, and if you happen to interpret that as a personal critique or an attack on you, well, that's really on you, not me.
I honestly have no idea how you were raised, what your life looks like now, or where your issues might stem from—and frankly, I'm not interested in digging into that.
If we're being completely honest, my own family was far from perfect either. My parents definitely had their flaws, but they didn't make one crucial mistake: they never laid a hand on me or used physical punishment, and for that, I am truly grateful.

At the end of the day, nobody is perfect. Maybe one day I'll lose my cool and snap at my own child, but that wouldn't make me an abusive person. My point here is about principles and core values. To actually understand whether an action is right or wrong, you have to break it down and look at the actual causes and effects.

The reality is that children are born good. They aren't inherently bad or "broken" people that need to be fixed. Any developmental psychologist in the US will tell you that almost any problematic behavior in a child is simply a reaction to conflict within the family. Children REACT. As adults, we should know better—we *must* know better. It's much easier to resort to force than to stop and ask, "How did MY actions contribute to this situation?"

Please explain to me how someone can say, "How am I responsible for this situation?" when the kid is still in a non-verbal phase and has no concept of danger.
You're talking about kids with "unacceptable behavior"—so what, if a toddler sets the house on fire, the parents are just supposed to sit there and wonder why a little kid was being curious?
We're all different, and our parents were different too. Some were big on talking things out, others weren't. There isn't some perfect manual for parenting, and there's no such thing as an "ideal parent." That should be obvious to everyone.
What matters is that parents love their kids. It's like what Cyrulnik wrote in one of his books—a child won't be traumatized by a foster mother who hits them because they can't stay mad at a rock when they trip over it (to the kid, that woman is just a static object, like a stone). But they *will* be traumatized by a foster parent they actually loved and trusted, only to have that person crush them with a single sentence. That stays with you forever.

My point is that upbringing is incredibly complex. Using a belt or a timeout because a kid accidentally burned down the house means something completely different in a home filled with love versus a home where the parent is acting out of pure resentment and physical punishment becomes an outlet for hate.