Joseph Rivera75 said:Look, Alexander Adams94, if she falls for someone else, whatever. But if she just kisses some random guy, suddenly it’s a federal crime? 🤔
Francesca, I'm all for people splitting up if they aren't happy, but let's not redefine reality here. For some people, breaking every single promise and shared plan is a bigger betrayal than actually sleeping with someone else.
If she falls for someone else, sure, it means the relationship is failing, but I get the psychological side of it.
But if she's performing oral sex on someone else while she's still in a relationship with me—that's just straight-up garbage, based on how Lucid interpreted it.
Emotions and psychology are complicated; people deal with all sorts of mental clutter. Someone is attractive, someone is great, you fall in love—you aren't a robot. But there is no valid excuse for not being able to stop yourself from kissing or hooking up with someone else while already in a commitment. You have plenty of time to sit down with that person and break things off first. Anything else is just cheap excuses and rationalizations that aren't even worth arguing about.
Cheating is a betrayal of trust, a breach of agreement, lying, and acting inauthentically. What you’re talking about is something else entirely. Polyamory versus monogamy—regardless of which path people choose, the key is that they agreed to it and both parties consented and committed to those terms. Cheating happens when one person breaks that pact and hides it through deception. It’s pure dishonesty and a betrayal of trust.
Exactly.
And figuring out who is at fault in my book is simple. It's definitely the person who cheated. If they weren't happy in the relationship, they could have just ended it cleanly.
In many cases, cheating stems from a personality disorder—like Narcissistic Personality Disorder. A person feels this constant urge to conquer others just to get that "narcissistic supply" from different sources, boosting their own ego and proving to themselves how desirable they are to various partners.
Going back to my original point: it comes down to character, personality, and personal integrity.
Now, if you ask me what's harder to live with—short-term, it's easier to cheat, but long-term, it's much harder to deal with the fact that you cheated and spat on your own integrity. Even if you aren't in that relationship anymore, you still have to recalibrate with yourself and face the reality of being someone capable of breaking their word, regardless of the circumstances. Of course, not everyone cares about their integrity, but for me, it matters deeply.
I can't even count how many people out there don't give a damn about their own integrity. And the worst part? They act all cool and sophisticated. Every time I see someone like that, I have this sudden urge to just shut them down and say, "Look, you're just an ordinary jerk, so stop trying to argue." When someone who constantly cheats starts giving advice on life, love, or relationships... honestly, who gave them the right to even open their mouth?
Adam Davis2 said:So, is solo play actually a scam? 😳
Not at all—whether it’s solo play or just having thoughts about someone else.
Cheating starts when you move from a kiss to actual physical intimacy with another person.
Some people try to make an argument for "emotional infidelity," but that feels like a stretch. There will always be someone out there who seems more perfect than your partner, and passing thoughts are just part of being human.
Joseph Rivera75 said:You claim you wouldn't cheat, yet there was another day where you were bragging about dodging your workload and dumping it on a coworker. 🤔
I’m avoiding an impossible workload, and I advise others to do the same so management learns where to draw the line. During those specific 20 minutes when I hit a wall and head to the breakroom to grab a snack—yes, my coworkers take a bigger hit in that moment—but I also extend that same right to them. You're essentially arguing that I'm a moral jerk for acting "dirty" just to prevent us all from becoming collective idiots, but I actually grant that same leeway to everyone else. Based on your logic, if I wanted to be morally upright, I should just be completely submissive, bail out my teammates, and hand management everything they need to pile even more work onto our plates.
In the end, that colleague mentioned I'm her favorite coworker, which implies she understands the broader intent behind what I'm doing. According to you, Rosemary, I'm some kind of moral jerk because I step away to eat and leave them struggling for 20 minutes. By your reasoning, none of us should ever take a break, and we should just keep rubbing our hands together so the bosses can dump even more work on us. Just look at the wider context here.
Brian Howard2 said:..that in the new year you'll be with two girls—one to shave you, another to rub against your knee, while an experienced third watches from the corner begging to join in, but you won't let her because you don't want them to suffer.. Am I getting close? 🍿
Cringe. Honestly, most of those posts are just cringe to me, unless we're talking about someone I've wanted to hook up with for a long time plus a friend of hers I know too.
Still, it's a better option than those people who sleep with everyone while trying to convince themselves and everyone else that they're actually picky. Not only is that gross by default, but lying about it is just straight-up rude.
Joseph Rivera75 said:This question is pretty mindless, honestly. Being conned or being the con artist isn't some binary choice you can just pick from a menu in a hypothetical scenario. Besides, even for the most selfless person out there, survival instinct is a thing. At the end of the day, people are wired to look out for number one. I’d give my left arm—literally—for a mother willing to throw her life away to save her kid. But for everything else? It’s easy to sit on a soapbox acting all moral and full of love for humanity, but real life works differently. People choose themselves. It’s just easier to live with yourself that way.
That’s why I say I’d rather protect my own peace of mind and let the other person deal with the guilt of being a jerk. If they end up being the villain, I'll move past it in a few months. But if *I'm* the one who acted poorly, I'll spend the next 20 years trying to fix it—and since that's impossible, I'll just end up stuck in a cycle of self-punishment, thinking I deserve to live ten years less or some other nonsense.
Someone who lacks the character to not be a jerk isn't suddenly going to develop it overnight. However, you personally can have that capacity and actually work on it. Personally, I think I have that potential; it just depends on how much work and practice I put in to improve. I'll never be a pushover when it comes to morals, but my level of success depends entirely on how much effort I'm willing to invest.
I’d honestly rather be cheated on if it meant I could blame someone else for being the bad guy. If I can point the finger at them, I can get angry, vent, and move on relatively quickly. But if I’m the one who acted like a jerk? That stays with you. I’ll still be cringing at myself ten years down the road. To me, that self-reproach hurts way more than being let down or blindsided by someone else.
More bickering over Latte and Ludwig. It’s honestly impressive anyone even finds the motivation to moderate 26,000 posts a day given how much chaos happens there.
The photo steelorca5 shared is pretty spot on, though comparing a 45-year-old woman to a younger girl just doesn't quite work as an apples-to-apples comparison.
Generally speaking, the derby matches have been pretty exciting this season. However, we drew way too many games against teams like Slaven Belupin, Locomotive, and Gorica. Those stalemates really cost us points and ended up dragging the standings down just enough to prevent us from overtaking Dynamo.
Coverdale hasn't been able to hit those notes for about ten years now, and you’ve probably finally admitted that yourself. So, his idea is to have Jelusick supplement the vocals so he doesn't have to struggle through parts he can no longer reach.
In my opinion, Jelusick just isn't at the level required for a band like Whitesnake. He might be talented, but compared to the legends in this band, he still feels like an unseasoned kid. The members of Whitesnake are all in the top 15 players of their respective instruments, whereas Jelusick—without wanting to exaggerate—isn't even in the top 30 rock vocalists out there. It sounds a bit cliché by American standards, but in the States, you find plenty of kids who sing hard rock and heavy metal exactly like him.
Ultimately, I think any argument boils down to one thing: Coverdale dragging Whitesnake along into his 70s is just foolish. What will people remember the last Whitesnake album for? That some 30-year-old kid from America was doing the singing? To me, that doesn't fit the image of those classic American hard rock icons.
Basically, I'm hoping they just need a keyboardist with decent backing vocals, and that Jelusick won't have such a prominent role as we've debated here, as if he's going to take over the main choruses. Maybe they just need a new keyboard player who can also handle solid backing vocals, since that isn't exactly a strong suit for the bassist and guitarists.