Opening the WhatsApp chat?

Eric Gray2 said:But who's actually at fault here, mistyhound94? And who exactly is this "we" you're talking about—who are we that we're supposedly to blame?

Honestly, you're the one most to blame because you're constantly reporting posts just because you don't like them. It seems like you lack the ability to actually communicate with people who don't see things your way. In your eyes, anyone with a different perspective is just an "unfit" user. Think about how many times you've flagged someone to the mods versus how many times I have, for example. Those reports give the moderators extra work they shouldn't even have to deal with. Plus, look at the ŽuD WhatsApp—it got shut down. Even though I wasn't there, I know some of the people who joined recently were pretty loud and influential. So, you tell me who's responsible. Some people just can't stand seeing others have a good time, so they'd rather see chats shut down entirely because they can't entertain themselves.🍿

Thanks, Joshua, for showing everyone exactly how you deal with people who just don't get it—while simultaneously accusing everyone else of being unable to talk to anyone with a different opinion.
Honestly, man, you’ve let way too much slide during your time on this forum... fighting and throwing insults seem to be practically hardwired into your keyboard at this point.
And no, I’m not saying you’re the sole reason everything is shutting down, but did you help create that whole mob mentality on both WhatsApp chats? Yeah, you definitely did.

nimbleowl6 said:Thanks, Joshua, for showing everyone exactly how you deal with people who just don't get it—while simultaneously accusing everyone else of being unable to talk to anyone with a different opinion.
Honestly, man, you’ve let way too much slide during your time on this forum... fighting and throwing insults seem to be practically hardwired into your keyboard at this point.
And no, I’m not saying you’re the sole reason everything is shutting down, but did you help create that whole mob mentality on both WhatsApp chats? Yeah, you definitely did.

Look, I’m just stating facts. Some people can talk to anyone, and some people just can't. I get that, but there's a difference between ignoring someone and constantly reporting their posts. Besides, what's wrong with the fact that you and I just don't get along? It's pretty obvious. I can't stand people who try to threaten me through private messages, claiming they'll get me kicked off the forum. Can you explain why you suddenly showed up in the WhatsApp chat? Did you come here to fix things or shut them down? If I'm reading this right, you're a happily married woman who suddenly decided to start posting on lonely hearts forums out of nowhere? And now, suddenly, chats are getting closed, just like that one chat on the ŽuD where you were posting too. So, think about it—who's actually more to blame, people like me or you? A lynch mob atmosphere? 🤣 Honestly, you have to be something else special to even claim that. There's a huge difference between me refusing to let certain people act like they're more important than me or any other regular user who isn't overthinking life like they are.
I also wonder why the moderators won't just say who it was and exactly why there were so many reports. And I'd love for them to show where there was ever an issue with me in that other lively chat. The fact that you can't stand me and want me gone from the forum is funny to me, but I don't get how the moderators allow it and then force the rest of us to deal with it. 🤔

Daniel Kelly57 said:Look, I’m just stating facts. Some people can talk to anyone, and some people just can't. I get that, but there's a difference between ignoring someone and constantly reporting their posts. Besides, what's wrong with the fact that you and I just don't get along? It's pretty obvious. I can't stand people who try to threaten me through private messages, claiming they'll get me kicked off the forum. Can you explain why you suddenly showed up in the WhatsApp chat? Did you come here to fix things or shut them down? If I'm reading this right, you're a happily married woman who suddenly decided to start posting on lonely hearts forums out of nowhere? And now, suddenly, chats are getting closed, just like that one chat on the ŽuD where you were posting too. So, think about it—who's actually more to blame, people like me or you? A lynch mob atmosphere? 🤣 Honestly, you have to be something else special to even claim that. There's a huge difference between me refusing to let certain people act like they're more important than me or any other regular user who isn't overthinking life like they are.
I also wonder why the moderators won't just say who it was and exactly why there were so many reports. And I'd love for them to show where there was ever an issue with me in that other lively chat. The fact that you can't stand me and want me gone from the forum is funny to me, but I don't get how the moderators allow it and then force the rest of us to deal with it. 🤔

Both ignoring someone and reporting posts are perfectly legitimate options on this forum. Where I choose to hang out and who I talk to isn't your business. This whole thing you're spinning about private messages is just a malicious narrative you've made up. In my message, I specifically asked you to stop jumping down my throat, which you continued to do without a second thought. Anyway, sharing private messages is against the rules.
The ŽuD chat didn't close because of my writing; the rest of it was just malicious instigation that I have no interest in discussing. Whether you choose to tolerate certain things or not is, quite frankly, none of my concern.
If you want to obsess or talk trash through PMs, you can do that without needing a chat room.
Everything else you're saying is just redundant nonsense that I'm not going to waste my time on.

nimbleowl6 said:Both ignoring someone and reporting posts are perfectly legitimate options on this forum. Where I choose to hang out and who I talk to isn't your business. This whole thing you're spinning about private messages is just a malicious narrative you've made up. In my message, I specifically asked you to stop jumping down my throat, which you continued to do without a second thought. Anyway, sharing private messages is against the rules.
The ŽuD chat didn't close because of my writing; the rest of it was just malicious instigation that I have no interest in discussing. Whether you choose to tolerate certain things or not is, quite frankly, none of my concern.
If you want to obsess or talk trash through PMs, you can do that without needing a chat room.
Everything else you're saying is just redundant nonsense that I'm not going to waste my time on.

Sure, they're legitimate options, but that’s exactly why the chat was closed. How stupid do you have to be to report people you don't understand or just disagree with in a public chat, simply because you can't stand them? That's exactly why the moderators closed the chat, plain and simple. This isn't some "malicious construct" on my part; I don't have a malicious bone in my body, I'm just being honest. And I'm definitely not the only one you've pushed off the forum using all sorts of nonsense and lies. I don't go around talking trash through PMs. If anyone asks me anything, I say it publicly. I have zero interest in playing games or spreading rumors in private messages. It's funny how you claim you don't want to deal with me, yet you always end up dealing with me anyway. Don't forget, whenever you mention me, I'm right here. So I'll say it again: the chat was closed because of people like you, not people like me. But honestly, that was clearly the goal all along. I can't even wrap my head around why. You guys can just open your own little chat with Eric Gray2 and keep trying to sell yourselves your own nonsense in a quiet corner. 🍿

Eric Gray2 said:But who's actually at fault here, mistyhound94? And who exactly is this "we" you're talking about—who are we that we're supposedly to blame?

I don't know—how can you even remember being called out when you weren't even posting in that WhatsApp group anyway

Reporting posts feels just like telling your mom you're gonna get in trouble--it's kind of a joke, right?

I've been hanging out on this forum for ages now, and honestly, I've only ever reported one single post, maybe once in a blue moon.

You guys are such crybabies.

Well, you guys managed to pick a fight right here yesterday, throwing around all sorts of ad hominem attacks and wild accusations even after my warning above. 🤦 If the WhatsApp groups in the States look even a fifth as chaotic as this, I can totally see why moderating them is such a massive headache. As for the chat threads themselves, they don't really fit the true spirit of the forum, and honestly, no PDF should be required to host one. While I'll admit chat topics can have this beautiful dynamic where people actually get to know each other and bond—someone even mentioned they have "soul"—too often they just end up creating tension that spills over into the rest of the PDF. Because posts pile up so incredibly fast in a short window of time, it’s practically impossible to moderate them consistently and properly; usually, there's way too much freedom, and we mostly just rely on user reports. But sometimes, that simply isn't enough. Precisely because of all these potential headaches, moderators aren't obligated to maintain a chat thread. Not anywhere, not even on WhatsApp. I know firsthand how exhausting it is—how draining it can be and how much time it sucks away that could be spent moderating everything else on the PDF, only to still be left with nothing. Ultimately, whether a chat survives comes down to the crew posting there, how they conduct themselves, and how well they can police themselves without needing constant intervention through reports. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. I know the moderators on WhatsApp have been trying for years to keep those chats going, but I neither can nor want to demand they oversee them like any other regular thread. And we aren't going to appoint a moderator just for a chat, either. It’s just not necessary. From what I can see, you still have your chat. One single thread should be more than enough. Just make an effort to keep it civil. Report the nonsense, don't fan the flames, and don't get dragged into the arguments. The ignore button is a beautiful tool that comes in so handy. If things stay chill, the chat might actually thrive.

I really have to give it to the mods for thinking to merge two compatible chats like that into one. It makes sense.

Personally, I’m of the mind that we should just lock all these chats up and send them straight to the history books.
Why can't we just have lightly moderated threads instead of these constant chats? 🤔

Take the women's corner, for example. Half of those topics are basically just non-stop chat.

Besides, what are even "lonely" retirees (40+) supposed to do with a chat?
I mean, come on people—just join Facebook or Instagram. Time is flying by. And let's be real, little Bačićka has a killer ass. 🎉

Back in the day, if a user was being a total nightmare in a specific sub-forum, they’d just get a ban from that section—simple as that.
That was how we cleared out the troublemakers from WhatsApp, and honestly, the peace and quiet was worth it.
I don't get why we stopped doing that. It shouldn't just be limited to WhatsApp, either; it should apply to all the threads on the US site. If someone is toxic to a specific community, they should just say goodbye. 👋
We shouldn't let everyone else suffer just because of one or two headaches.

The other thing Mickey mentioned is spot on. If you aren't feeling up to moderating anymore, there's the door. Just hand in your resignation so someone with actual time and energy can step up.
Is being a moderator supposed to be a lifetime appointment now?
Half the people on the moderator list barely lift a finger—they're basically just there for decoration...

rustydrifter10 said:Well, you guys managed to pick a fight right here yesterday, throwing around all sorts of ad hominem attacks and wild accusations even after my warning above. 🤦 If the WhatsApp groups in the States look even a fifth as chaotic as this, I can totally see why moderating them is such a massive headache. As for the chat threads themselves, they don't really fit the true spirit of the forum, and honestly, no PDF should be required to host one. While I'll admit chat topics can have this beautiful dynamic where people actually get to know each other and bond—someone even mentioned they have "soul"—too often they just end up creating tension that spills over into the rest of the PDF. Because posts pile up so incredibly fast in a short window of time, it’s practically impossible to moderate them consistently and properly; usually, there's way too much freedom, and we mostly just rely on user reports. But sometimes, that simply isn't enough. Precisely because of all these potential headaches, moderators aren't obligated to maintain a chat thread. Not anywhere, not even on WhatsApp. I know firsthand how exhausting it is—how draining it can be and how much time it sucks away that could be spent moderating everything else on the PDF, only to still be left with nothing. Ultimately, whether a chat survives comes down to the crew posting there, how they conduct themselves, and how well they can police themselves without needing constant intervention through reports. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. I know the moderators on WhatsApp have been trying for years to keep those chats going, but I neither can nor want to demand they oversee them like any other regular thread. And we aren't going to appoint a moderator just for a chat, either. It’s just not necessary. From what I can see, you still have your chat. One single thread should be more than enough. Just make an effort to keep it civil. Report the nonsense, don't fan the flames, and don't get dragged into the arguments. The ignore button is a beautiful tool that comes in so handy. If things stay chill, the chat might actually thrive.

So what exactly is the "true spirit" of a forum then?
Are we saying a massive group of people participating in chat threads aren't actually part of the forum and don't contribute to its spirit?

You just reminded me of an owner I knew from another forum who insisted on allowing only "intellectual" topics and discussions. That forum died pretty quickly.

1984...

rustydrifter10 said:Well, you guys managed to pick a fight right here yesterday, throwing around all sorts of ad hominem attacks and wild accusations even after my warning above. 🤦 If the WhatsApp groups in the States look even a fifth as chaotic as this, I can totally see why moderating them is such a massive headache. As for the chat threads themselves, they don't really fit the true spirit of the forum, and honestly, no PDF should be required to host one. While I'll admit chat topics can have this beautiful dynamic where people actually get to know each other and bond—someone even mentioned they have "soul"—too often they just end up creating tension that spills over into the rest of the PDF. Because posts pile up so incredibly fast in a short window of time, it’s practically impossible to moderate them consistently and properly; usually, there's way too much freedom, and we mostly just rely on user reports. But sometimes, that simply isn't enough. Precisely because of all these potential headaches, moderators aren't obligated to maintain a chat thread. Not anywhere, not even on WhatsApp. I know firsthand how exhausting it is—how draining it can be and how much time it sucks away that could be spent moderating everything else on the PDF, only to still be left with nothing. Ultimately, whether a chat survives comes down to the crew posting there, how they conduct themselves, and how well they can police themselves without needing constant intervention through reports. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. I know the moderators on WhatsApp have been trying for years to keep those chats going, but I neither can nor want to demand they oversee them like any other regular thread. And we aren't going to appoint a moderator just for a chat, either. It’s just not necessary. From what I can see, you still have your chat. One single thread should be more than enough. Just make an effort to keep it civil. Report the nonsense, don't fan the flames, and don't get dragged into the arguments. The ignore button is a beautiful tool that comes in so handy. If things stay chill, the chat might actually thrive.

From experience, that's hardly an issue if it's a moderator who actively participates in the life of the sub-forum.
But there seem to be very few of those, from what I can tell.
I think you should start by revitalizing the moderator structure within the sub-forums. After all, a bad smell always starts at the top.

Jerry Parker72 said:Back in the day, if a user was being a total nightmare in a specific sub-forum, they’d just get a ban from that section—simple as that.
That was how we cleared out the troublemakers from WhatsApp, and honestly, the peace and quiet was worth it.
I don't get why we stopped doing that. It shouldn't just be limited to WhatsApp, either; it should apply to all the threads on the US site. If someone is toxic to a specific community, they should just say goodbye. 👋
We shouldn't let everyone else suffer just because of one or two headaches.

The other thing Mickey mentioned is spot on. If you aren't feeling up to moderating anymore, there's the door. Just hand in your resignation so someone with actual time and energy can step up.
Is being a moderator supposed to be a lifetime appointment now?
Half the people on the moderator list barely lift a finger—they're basically just there for decoration...

Where on earth are you getting the idea that we shouldn't still be doing that?

Sophia Thomas7 said:Where on earth are you getting the idea that we shouldn't still be doing that?

Looking at how things have been going on this subforum, it’s pretty obvious something is broken.

Maybe swap out two or three moderators for people who—brace yourselves—actually bother to participate around here.
I only see you popping up occasionally. Some of them are clearly just there for decoration, showing up only when a report needs a reaction.
(Not suggesting myself—don't want any confusion—but I'm sure someone would step up.)

Honestly, this is just a perfect microcosm of how things work here in America. It’s depressing.
It’s always easier to lean on repressive tactics just to ensure nobody does any actual work—rather than letting someone step up and take over who actually has the drive to be active.

If we’re calling people out, I don't see why Air Canada and Meadow are even moderators for a subforum they barely participate in.
Is it just so they can have the bragging rights? As if holding a moderator position is some kind of status symbol.🤦

Jerry Parker72 said:Looking at how things have been going on this subforum, it’s pretty obvious something is broken.

Maybe swap out two or three moderators for people who—brace yourselves—actually bother to participate around here.
I only see you popping up occasionally. Some of them are clearly just there for decoration, showing up only when a report needs a reaction.
(Not suggesting myself—don't want any confusion—but I'm sure someone would step up.)

Don't get me wrong, the partial bans are definitely happening, but they're being reserved for truly problematic behavior.

Jerry Parker72 said:Looking at how things have been going on this subforum, it’s pretty obvious something is broken.

Maybe swap out two or three moderators for people who—brace yourselves—actually bother to participate around here.
I only see you popping up occasionally. Some of them are clearly just there for decoration, showing up only when a report needs a reaction.
(Not suggesting myself—don't want any confusion—but I'm sure someone would step up.)

Personally, I love how every time someone brings up the WhatsApp, we get hit with comments like this.

The US section is moderated just fine; our only real headache is the WhatsApp, and honestly, it's been that way for years. Basically, the mass deletion of posts and all the drama usually kicks off after midnight—which is exactly when we get the most (if not all) of the reports.

To claim that the US isn't being moderated just because things go south in one specific thread late at night simply doesn't hold water. We've pointed this out countless times: because of the nature of a WhatsApp, it has to be moderated based on user reports. We aren't obligated to host a chat; if users want another US WhatsApp, they can easily start one over on the PDF meant for that purpose.

The epicenter of the issue on the US side is exclusively the WhatsApp; everything else is perfectly calm. For comparison, look at LJES (along with its corresponding PPDF), which has two separate chats where reports are practically non-existent.

I hop onto WhatsApp and what do I find? A bunch of people who don't even belong to an organized group—if you can even call them a clan—are out here actively sabotaging the chat. It just goes to show that these "clans" aren't actually a thing, and honestly, it proves there’s no real desire for everyone to just get along and coexist here. They aren't even trying to play fair or ask for their own special little corner with their own private rules.

You want pears, I’ll take apples...
I never said there isn't moderation happening—just that some mods aren't actually participating in the community; they just act like cops whenever they feel like it.

It escapes me why someone would hold onto a moderator title if they lack the time or the drive to actually moderate. Is the ego attached to the title really that massive? 🤷 I suppose in a place like American, it is.
It seems like being a moderator is a lifetime appointment unless you decide to quit. If this were a paid gig, I might understand the attachment, but it isn't. 😵 🤣

To be blunt, I don't think Meadow and Air Canada have any business being moderators for the US section.
Jacob Sullivan91 shows up occasionally—rarely, mind you—but at least there's a semblance of presence there.

What I'm seeing across the forums—not just the US subforum—is pretty grim: a bunch of moderators who exist purely for decoration. They aren't active members of the community; they're just enforcers waiting for a report to land on their desks.
I imagine the owner couldn't care less about this, much like most other things, so he just lets it slide.

At the end of the day, we're talking about the US subforum. This is where people come when they're frustrated, lonely, or just feeling out of place. It should go without saying that you need a bit of tolerance and subtlety here—real engagement in the "life" of the subforum.
I've lost count of how many times I've seen someone get provoked into a heated response, only to end up with a ban. The fact that they were being trolled by the same person for the last ten posts—knowing exactly where it was heading—doesn't seem to matter.

The WhatsApp chats are a vital part of the US subforum; for certain people, they are the ONLY way to experience any kind of normal social interaction. I know at least ten people whose lives were genuinely improved because of these chats, which makes them worth preserving.
Claiming the chat doesn't belong in the US subforum just shows a complete lack of thought and empathy on your part. Or maybe it's just laziness because you don't feel like moderating it. I can't say which. You decide.

And it's a mistake to consolidate everything into one single chat when we're dealing with such diverse personalities. You've essentially thrown Mentos and Coca-Cola into the same bucket, and we all know how that ends. Once the chaos hits, you'll just get to smugly declare, "See, I told you the US WhatsApp chat shouldn't exist."

Jerry Parker72 said:You want pears, I’ll take apples...
I never said there isn't moderation happening—just that some mods aren't actually participating in the community; they just act like cops whenever they feel like it.

It escapes me why someone would hold onto a moderator title if they lack the time or the drive to actually moderate. Is the ego attached to the title really that massive? 🤷 I suppose in a place like American, it is.
It seems like being a moderator is a lifetime appointment unless you decide to quit. If this were a paid gig, I might understand the attachment, but it isn't. 😵 🤣

To be blunt, I don't think Meadow and Air Canada have any business being moderators for the US section.
Jacob Sullivan91 shows up occasionally—rarely, mind you—but at least there's a semblance of presence there.

What I'm seeing across the forums—not just the US subforum—is pretty grim: a bunch of moderators who exist purely for decoration. They aren't active members of the community; they're just enforcers waiting for a report to land on their desks.
I imagine the owner couldn't care less about this, much like most other things, so he just lets it slide.

At the end of the day, we're talking about the US subforum. This is where people come when they're frustrated, lonely, or just feeling out of place. It should go without saying that you need a bit of tolerance and subtlety here—real engagement in the "life" of the subforum.
I've lost count of how many times I've seen someone get provoked into a heated response, only to end up with a ban. The fact that they were being trolled by the same person for the last ten posts—knowing exactly where it was heading—doesn't seem to matter.

The WhatsApp chats are a vital part of the US subforum; for certain people, they are the ONLY way to experience any kind of normal social interaction. I know at least ten people whose lives were genuinely improved because of these chats, which makes them worth preserving.
Claiming the chat doesn't belong in the US subforum just shows a complete lack of thought and empathy on your part. Or maybe it's just laziness because you don't feel like moderating it. I can't say which. You decide.

And it's a mistake to consolidate everything into one single chat when we're dealing with such diverse personalities. You've essentially thrown Mentos and Coca-Cola into the same bucket, and we all know how that ends. Once the chaos hits, you'll just get to smugly declare, "See, I told you the US WhatsApp chat shouldn't exist."

Great. So now, not only is one group not enough, but apparently we need several different ones—one for specific age groups, one for this, one for that. Other subforums can function perfectly fine with a single chat, but the US section is treated with such special reverence that it needs its own little ecosystem. A chat should be a place where EVERYONE is welcome and where EVERYONE has the chance to just hang out and talk casually. If someone can't manage to be civil in a chat, they shouldn't be using it. Let me repeat: plenty of other forum chats are full of diverse people with different perspectives and ages, yet the US section is the only one being singled out.

And it’s even more fascinating how the issue is suddenly framed as "moderators vs. one chat," rather than the US crew systematically trying to bury the chat out of pure spite. 🤦 Good luck to them/you. My stance hasn't changed: if a chat can't function without constant, nonstop drama and bullshit, then there's no reason for it to exist on the US section at all. And as for all the undermining and twisting of words, you can try to pull the wool over my eyes all you want, but it won't work on me.

This reminds me of those "visionary" entrepreneurs who always find a way to blame their employees when the company goes under. It’s a classic move—it’s never the CEO’s fault, it’s always the staff. 😁
And if anyone actually points out the glaring issues? They're just labeled as troublemakers or accused of being negative. 😬

The fix is pretty straightforward, honestly. Just remove those two or three moderators who haven't contributed anything to the subforum in ages and bring in people who actually give a damn about this place. Once you have active participants in charge, you'll see the difference immediately. Plus, problematic users would be flagged much faster and removed before they cause real damage.