Would you kill a Cow?

Melissa Cruz2 said:Look, I don't touch red meat at all, so basically I'm just sticking to fish.

And poultry.👋

Well, if this isn't enough reason to slaughter an entire herd of Cow, I don't know what is...

I wouldn't go so far as to say I'd kill for it, but man, I would definitely buy it! Who else is feeling this? 😁 🙂

Kate Johnson12 said:I wouldn't kill one myself, but man, I'd totally buy it! Who's selling? 😁 🙂

So, a few weeks back my mother-in-law calls me up—totally sounding all official and serious—and goes, "The neighbor's heifer broke her leg," and then just hangs up.

Now I'm sitting here completely baffled, trying to wrap my head around what that even meant...

🤔 "Well, we should probably take her to the vet," I tell her.

Then she drops the bomb—she’s gonna slaughter the thing, and she wanted to see if I wanted in on a portion of the meat to stick in my freezer... 😁

rustymoose54 said:then she goes on to explain she’s basically getting slaughtered, so she asked if I’d be interested in taking some of the meat for my freezer... 😁

Meanwhile, my mom just dropped three turkeys on me because she knows my freezer is usually empty, and now nobody wants them.
Now they're just sitting there, I have zero room to stash any ice cream, and honestly... I'm just over it. 😢

Melissa Cruz2 said:My mom basically dumped three turkeys on me because my freezer is always empty, and now I’m stuck with them and nobody even wants them.
So here I am, with zero room left for ice cream, and honestly, I'm just over it... 😢

A bigger freezer???😉

driftinggull13 said:A bigger box???😉

So he can just dump a bunch of beans, plums, apricots, carrots... on me... I guess...

stormylnx14 said:Honestly, if this isn't enough reason to slaughter an entire herd of Cow, I don't know what is...

Nah. But honestly, reading this makes me seriously wonder about your mental state.

Eric Jackson43 said:Not quite. But this post alone is enough to make anyone question your mental state.

I know. The less beef I eat, the worse I feel. 😢

Honestly, just grab a knife or even an axe and

just take out that damn Cow.

Otherwise, you can always just pick up some beef goulash from Kraft Heinz.

wearyowl29 said:For crying out loud, just pick up a knife or an axe already.
Or just grab some beef goulash from Kraft Heinz and call it a day.

Nah, forget that canned stuff. 😳
You really think you could take away the joy of slaughtering this beast from us?
Not happening tonight. 🙂

😬

Picture this: you’re stuck out in the middle of nowhere, miles from civilization, with nothing but a knife and some matches... just your luck. To your right, there’s the ocean full of fish. Ahead of you, a flat orchard, and somewhere nearby, there's either a Cow or maybe a little lamb (Jesus, help me!). You get one shot at it—you can eat or cook one of those three options, but you have to hunt, gather, or kill it yourself. What’s your move?
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I’m genuinely curious though... how exactly are we supposed to take down a Cow with just a pocketknife? It’d probably just stand there waiting for you to try and nick its jugular.🙂

Melissa Cruz2 said:I'm actually curious how you'd kill a Cow with just a knife. It’d probably just stand there waiting for you to slit its throat.🙂

Damn, Melissa Cruz2, clearly you haven't done this before. Since we're dealing with a massive beast, you lure it in with some kind of bait—you know, since you don't have a hole or a gun—and then you just go for it.
Then we have a BBQ party.
🙂 🙂

I know it sounds brutal, but I wouldn't hesitate long. It's either me or the Cow in the great beyond. 👋

Melissa Cruz2 said:Picture this: you're stuck in the wilderness, miles from civilization, armed with nothing but a knife and some matches. To your right, there's the ocean full of fish. Ahead of you lies an orchard, and nearby, there's a Cow or maybe a little lamb (Jesus, help us!). You can eat or cook any one of those three, but you have to hunt, gather, or kill it yourself. What's your pick?

This "pick one" rule is rigged. Fish for an appetizer, lamb for the main course, and fruit—or cheese, since the Cow is right there—for dessert.

Melissa Cruz2 said:I'm genuinely curious how anyone expects to take down a Cow with just a pocketknife. She'd just stand there waiting for you to try and find a vein.🙂

If a Cow saw me coming at her with a knife, she’d probably die of fright. Or laughter. Doesn't matter. She's still ending up on the grill.🙂

nimblegull23 said:He’d probably roast some lamb, then go grab some fresh fruit for dessert🙂 🙂
and knock out a Cow in a couple of days🙂

I’d take down a Cow right away... turn the orchard into a little BBQ joint, make some sliders out of what's left, and pass off the lamb as the main course.🙏 👍

Melissa Cruz2 said:I'm genuinely curious—how would someone even go about killing a Cow with a knife? It would just stand there, waiting for you to slit its vein...

I can’t quite recall the title of the book or the movie—it was based on a true story—but back in the 80s, there was this plane crash in the Andes where survivors had to eat those who had passed away just to stay alive... they used the snow and ice to preserve them and even used the wreckage of the plane to cook. Eventually, a few of them decided to trek out to find civilization. Since the meat was spoiling way too fast, they followed a river hoping to find people, only to stumble upon a Cow instead of a settlement...
Those idiots were so starving they thought they could make a meal out of a Cow—but since they didn't even have the sense to use their heads, they just grabbed a rock... then tried throwing it from above—climbing up a tree...
They ended up hungry... 😁

I can't stand slicing up chicken breast... ugh, just this slimy, cold mass... gross. But I'll eat it roasted without a second thought.
Cows and pigs shouldn't really be on the menu either. They're mammals, after all. Pigs are basically just a more advanced version of dogs, and they're actually pretty sweet animals if they're raised clean.

But if I were out in the wild and starving, sure, I'd probably feast on some lamb or whatever else was around.

Lisa Ortiz17
The book is titled *Cannibalism in the Andes*—though, depending on where you pick it up, the title might be translated differently...

Look, humans set themselves apart from the rest of the animal kingdom through sheer intelligence—it’s what allows us to dominate both our diet and our survival strategies.
If circumstances shifted overnight, which group do you think actually makes it?
Is it the ones who turn their noses up at using other animals, or the ones who'll just sit tight waiting for the next shipment of canned goods to arrive?
And while we're on the subject of vegetarians:
If I were a vegetarian, I’d have some serious things to think about—because plants have systems, they have roots, families, offspring... and I'm certain it hurts when you rip away a leaf or a fruit.
Where is your sense of morality?

What if we just lured the Cow into the ocean and let it sink?

There’d be no mess from slaughtering anything, plus you could just pretend it’s some kind of sea cow if you’re eating fish.🙂

Kimberly Gomez28 said:What if we just lured the Cow into the ocean and let it sink?

No mess from the slaughterhouse either! Plus, you can just pretend it’s some kind of sea cow if you're eating fish.🙂

Haha, honestly, that sounds brilliant, but how on earth would we pull that off in a Small town in rural area?

We'd have to drag the whole Small town in rural area right to the coast and wedge it somewhere between a Small town in rural area and another Small town in rural area... or maybe just move part of that Small town in rural area over to the Rural region???