Would you kill a Cow?

wearyowl29 said:Yeah, that sounds great in theory, but how on earth would we pull that off in a Small town in rural area?

Down the drain!

I’m not even sure a place called Small town in rural area actually exists. There’s the main Small town in rural area, Zlatar, Lipovec, and a few other spots... but I don't think there's a "lower" version of it.😁
So, basically, I'm definitely not from any part of Small town in rural area.🙂

Melissa Cruz2 :
I'm not pretty sure there's even a Small town in rural area. There's the main one, Zlatar Bistrica, Lipovec, and a few other towns, but nothing called "Lower" 😁
So you're definitely not from a Small town in rural area then.🙂

True, but hey, at least we have Budinščina. 😁

Kimberly Gomez28 said:Down the well!

Oh, absolutely. But first... if that Cow is bigger than the clover patch, she’ll need a few days on the Atkinson's diet just to slim down. While she's dieting, you've got to prep the well. If there's any water in there, you should probably borrow two African elephants—Bimb and Bimb—from Smith over at the Zoo to suck up some water during this heatwave. (Since they were shaken up by those garden tools, I figure the little guys will be up for the task!) Before all that, though... you really have to clear out the well. Get rid of all the hams, thighs, sausages, and all that fancy royal meat—anything that passed inspection and hasn't seen a microscope. And don't forget... all the old gear, the rusty bullets, and those vintage military uniforms and badges. Now, the real trick is finding Peter van. He was last seen somewhere near that Small Midwestern city. You'd have to trek through Texas while it's still part of Mexico... because if things split up too quickly, we might end up in a full-blown war! So, get Peter down into the well to check the bottom. If he doesn't find any leftover filling from back in '98 or any traces of Roman coins—which, let's be honest, legally belong to the state—then you can gently lower the Cow Vimenka into the hole using a pole. Just make sure you pull Peter out first! I don't think the Atkinson's diet is enough to help him squeeze past Vimenka in such a tight spot.

Once Peter is out and Vimenka is down there... give Peter a plum to help him recover. Otherwise, you might have to call an ambulance from that Small town in rural area, especially if he starts showing signs of rigor mortis. But while he's recovering, you'll be busy! Once the Cow is in the well, just toss in a defensive bomb
that you picked up for three bucks somewhere in Arizona, and pray it still works according to official regulations. After you hear that massive BOOOMMM, head over to the well—which is now missing its top—and you'll find Vimenka lying there, dead and happy, having completely made your day.

PS: Please return those elephants to the Zoo. We don't want to see cows roaming around the beautiful meadows of the Rural region in a few years with trunks sticking out of them!

Sarah Gomez52 said:yeah, but there's still some veggies left...😁

Sure there is, and plenty of shops too... right in the middle of town.

Melissa Cruz2
I'm not pretty sure there's even a place called Small town in rural area. I know about the main part of the county, some other spots nearby, and a few more towns, but nothing by that name.😁
So, you definitely aren't from a Small town in rural area!🙂

Ah... poetic license, huh?

wearyowl29 said:Yeah, sure, easy enough... except first you gotta squeeze the Cow in if she's bigger than the clover patch, so maybe a few days on Atkinson's diet... gotta prep the well and everything while you're at it... etc...

Poor little Cow would probably end up with some nasty indigestion from all that heavy meat on Atkinson's plan...

Honestly, I'd just put her on that UN diet—I think there's a breakdown somewhere online...

That magic soup thing won't work though, she'd just get way too bloated. At least, that's my guess for the Cow...

rustymoose54 said:That poor little Cow would probably have some serious stomach issues after eating all that heavy meat from Atkinson's diet.

Honestly, I’d just put her on that UN diet—I think there's a description of it somewhere online.

The magic soup isn't really an option here, though; she'd end up way too bloated. That's just my take on the little Cow.

She'll be eating less 🙂 meat, but I'm worried she won't want to give up the pork from next door... which means we actually need to get a pig from a stranger! 🙏

wearyowl29 said:Less meat 🙂 but honestly, I’m worried she actually wanted some pork from the neighbors... which means you gotta pick a pig you don't personally know...🙏

Or maybe there's just some pig next door she's been fighting with over the property line, and she'd be thrilled to finally take it out...

rustymoose54 said:poor little Cow probably has an upset stomach...

actually, I think I might know how to help her out...😬

rustymoose54 said:Maybe there’s just some pig in the neighborhood she was fighting with over a property line, and now she's happy she can finally take him out.

If it's a true Cow from the Rural region, she probably had scraps with more than one of them.😁

Melissa Cruz2 said:I think I might have a way to help her.😬

So, here's the thing.
It's all caught in the middle.
For environmental reasons,
the Cow is the problem.
Why?
Because she eats the grass, ruins the greenery, and then farts out methane.
That greenhouse gas
is what drives global warming,
eventually turning everything into a desert.

👎 Turn the Cow into a well.

wearyowl29 said:Yeah, you just have to... well, keep going until the very end.

Issa, it is honestly so wonderful to see how just one single word can be such an inspiration 😬

but, honestly, I’d probably just take a Cow and stick a pitchfork right in its neck anyway. 🙂

I can't stand lamb🙂

Cow🙂 Bitch goes down🙂

Jose Chase2 said:Cow🙂 Bitch goes down🙂

Let's meet up sometime; I'll bring the Cow, and then you can give us a nice little demonstration, alright? 😢

Nancy Fowler61 said:Let's meet up sometime! I'll bring a Cow along, and then you can show everyone how it's done, okay? 😢

Seriously though, why aren't you guys out there picking snails? They're packed with protein, and they don't run away from you!😁 They are everywhere—you just have to bend over once in a while... honestly, you could make necklaces out of their shells if you wanted to. See? They definitely have more perks than a Cow does!

wearyowl29 said:Why aren't you guys picking snails...

Look, Nemrut, I'm just not built for that. I need some actual grit, and snails are just too slimy for me. 😬

nimblegull23 said:There’s nothing sweeter than Nemrut, but you've gotta be ready for some serious grit—plus, snails are just way too slimy.😬

Just a quick side note... I'm a woman!

But honestly? Those snails sound delicious... especially if you toss them in some parsley and garlic!

wearyowl29 said:I'm a woman... just saying...

but those snails of yours look incredible... especially if you toss them in some parsley and garlic...

Good grief...😱 😱 I mean, seriously, where on earth are you getting the idea that you can even compare snails to a bloody, juicy beef tenderloin or a massive ribeye steak?

Nemruth Dag said:I'm a girl... just so you know.
but those snails look amazing... especially with some parsley and garlic...

Oops, my bad... Nemrut Dragica😬

I know snails are good, yeah, I actually cooked them once.😉
You gotta cook them forever though, they're tough as old beef.😁 😁