Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

I feel the need to write something again... When I first found out my mom had cancer, I came here because I was in total shock and just didn't know how to act or how other people handle this kind of news.
Two months have passed since then, and here is the reality: before the diagnosis and surgery, Mom was just a normal woman dealing with some digestive issues, but she lived her life fully. Now, after the surgery—they couldn't remove the tumor, so she’s using an ostomy bag and we're waiting on chemo—she’s a completely different person. She has just totally surrendered to the illness.
Her wound has healed, but she’s eating less, suffers from frequent burping and nausea, and her strength is gone.
I’ve done everything within my power. I sourced some supplements from a specialist who works with cancer patients (shark cartilage-based treatments), I reached out to Nancy Pelosi, a bioenergy healer, and I brought in a nutritionist to manage her diet. The nutritionist is actually staying with us right now; my kids and husband are away at the beach, and honestly, I have no idea how things are going to work once they get back and school starts up again. I’m on vacation now, but I can't help but wonder how I'll manage once I'm back at work...
Everything I’ve tried alongside the doctors' prescribed medications—she initially accepted them, but now she's refusing. Mostly, she just lies there. She doesn't even want to go outside anymore, even though she can still walk around the house; I suppose her muscles have already started to atrophy. It’s devastating; I can't believe she could give up like this. It doesn't seem possible that the disease progressed this quickly. The surgeon mentioned that the tumor has actually been there for six years, so it wasn't some sudden, aggressive surge.
It’s just hard, and I don't know how to cope with it all. I’m trying to do everything I can. The home health nurses and our primary doctor are also trying to lift her spirits through both conversation and medication, but it isn't working. To be fair, her bloodwork isn't great, though it isn't quite as dire as it feels. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for all the fighters out there who refuse to give up, because I truly believe every single day of life is a GIFT from God, and we should live it as beautifully as we can.

Amanda Martinez28, hang in there!
Have those results come back yet? What’s the word from Doc?

Sam Murphy33 said:I feel this overwhelming urge to write something again...
Honestly, it’s just hard right now and I don't know how to deal with it.

Sam Murphy33,
Both you and your mom are going through an incredibly heavy season right now. I truly get it. I know you're spiraling a bit, wondering how on earth you're going to pull through all of this, but trust me—you will. You have the strength because you love her.
Try to step away for just thirty minutes. Go grab something from the grocery store, but take the long way and actually go for a walk. Take a breather and try to decompress, because you'll be able to help her so much more if you aren't running on empty. Try to come back with a better mindset; things always feel a little less heavy when you can find a reason to smile.

None of us know how many days we have left, whether we're dealing with health issues or not. That's why we have to make an effort to bring some positivity into every single day and soak up those small moments—they turn into the beautiful memories later on. We'll look back and be glad we didn't spend our limited time together just drowning in anxiety, seriousness, and gloom.

I realize laughing might be the last thing on your mind right now, but give it a shot. You'll see it lifts her spirits too. She loves you, and she wants to see you happy. Even if they don't say it out loud, most patients worry about being a burden; that weight sits on them, and it's one of the main reasons (aside from the illness itself) that people fall into depression. Don't let that happen. Try to shake off that worried expression. I know it sounds easier said than done, but stay brave. And whenever it feels like too much, come here and vent. We're all walking similar paths, so we have to be there for one another, right?

quietraven0 said:Amanda Martinez28, hang in there!
Any news on the results? What’s the word from Doc?

Yeah, the results came in. Dad had to head straight back to the hospital because he’s dealing with another nasty bout of pneumonia. We were stuck waiting there for four hours—I was barely holding it together, so I can't even imagine how he felt. The doctor who saw us was super rude at first, but we actually ended up hitting it off by the end 😉. Honestly, she was right about everything; she just gave the info to the wrong person—me, I guess. Anyway, they sent him home, but she wrote out his full treatment plan, so he's getting everything he needs like he were still in the hospital. He's thrilled to be back home, and honestly, so am I. He ran a fever last night, but we managed to get it down and he slept through the night. He's doing much better today. He's even starting to eat again, and I can see a little spark of hope returning to him. As for me, I'm calm for now, but I'm definitely still feeling pretty tense.
How's your mom doing? What did they find in her tests? What kind of meds are they putting her on?

Best,

My North Star just went dark.
Dad, I love you... I really hope you’re somewhere better now.

Melissa Parker37 said:My North Star just went dark.
Dad, I love you so much. I really hope you're somewhere better now.

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Hang in there and stay strong.😢

Melissa Parker37 said:My guiding light has gone out.
Dad, I love you. I truly hope you've found peace somewhere better.

Please accept my deepest condolences.😢

Melissa Parker37 said:My guiding light has gone out.
Dad, I love you so much. I just hope you're in a better place now.

Melissa Parker37, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.

We have to believe that our loved ones are truly in a better place now. Even if they aren't physically here with us anymore, they live on through us—in our hearts and in everything we remember about them. Hang in there; stay strong. That guiding light of yours is a part of who you are, and it’s still shining bright right inside your heart.

Melissa Parker37 said:My guiding light just went out.
Dad, I love you so much. I really hope you're somewhere better now.

Melissa, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Your dad is definitely in a better place now, far away from all the pain and suffering of this world.

Melissa Parker37 said:My guiding light is gone.
Dad, I love you. I hope you're somewhere better now.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Does anyone know if patients are entitled to rehab at a wellness resort once they finish their chemo cycle?
Thanks!

Melissa Parker37 said:My guiding light has finally gone out.
Dad, I love you so much. I really hope you're in a better place now.

Please accept my deepest, most sincere condolences.

Kate Reed63 said:Does anyone happen to know if patients who just finished their chemo rounds are eligible for rehab at some kind of medical spa or wellness retreat?
Thanks!

They definitely have the right, but you’ve gotta have a doctor weigh in first to see if it's actually a good move. My husband didn't even go until this year—which was like, four and a half years after everything started. And even then, it was nothing intense; just some light exercises tailored to what he could handle and a super chill pearl bath, again, really mellow stuff. He stayed for 14 days, and honestly, he didn't feel much better after.
Can't speak for everyone else's experience, though.

Melissa Parker37 said:My guiding light just went out.
Dad, I love you so much. I really hope you're in a better place now.

Oh God😢
Man, news like this hits hard. It’s just heavy.😢
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.

Lisa White54 said:She’s got a point, but a doctor really needs to weigh in on whether that's actually a good idea. My husband went just this year—after four and a half years off. He stuck to light exercises based on what he could handle and some gentle pearl baths, nothing intense. He did 14 days, and honestly, he didn't feel any better afterward.
Not sure what anyone else's experience has been.

Thanks for the input. It seems like everyone we ask is just playing dumb. A friend over in Germany mentioned that rehab is standard practice there, but they also suggested doing a 40-day fast after finishing a cycle—basically cutting out all animal products because apparently, that's how cancer "feeds." We're going to try our best to stick to macrobiotics as long as we can.
Anyway, my mom has finished five rounds of chemo and starts her sixth this Friday. We're hoping she can power through all ten.

Good luck to everyone...

quietraven0 said:Sam Murphy33,
Both you and your mother are navigating an incredibly heavy season right now. I truly get it. I know you’re spiraling a bit, wondering how on earth you’re going to pull through all of this, but believe me when I say you will. You have the strength because you love her, plain and simple.
Try stepping away for just half an hour—maybe head down to the local Starbucks or just wander around the neighborhood for a quick stroll. Take a breather and try to find some center, because honestly, the best thing you can offer her is your own composure. If you can come back with a little bit of light in your eyes, things will feel a lot less heavy for both of you.

None of us really know how many days we have left, whether we're facing health issues or not, so we ought to make an effort to find a little positivity in the small things; those are the moments that eventually turn into precious memories. We’ll be glad we didn't spend our final shared chapters drowning in nothing but anxiety, gravity, and gloom.

I realize laughter feels impossible right now, but give it a shot; you'll see it lifts her spirits too. She loves you, and seeing you okay is what she wants most. Even if they don't say it out loud, most patients worry about being a burden, and that guilt—on top of the illness itself—is often why they slip into depression. Don't let that take hold. Try to wipe that look of constant worry off your face; I know it's easier said than done, but stay strong. And when it all gets to be too much, come back here and vent. We're all walking similar paths, so we have to be there for one another, right?

Thank you so much for saying that.

quietraven0, how's your mom doing?
My dad's back in the hospital again.

Three years ago, I went through my own absolute nightmare and somehow made it out the other side. I don't even know how. My job involves investigative work, and I'm probably one of those rare people who doesn't just see all these patients as mere numbers or data points on a spreadsheet... honestly, I’ve actually started feeling for them—their progress, their setbacks... it hits home. But unfortunately, most of what we do boils down to just monitoring survival rates... that's the reality of modern medicine for you... but there's still hope!

wanderinghawk22 said:Three years ago, I went through my own personal hell and somehow made it out the other side, though how I managed remains a mystery to me. In my line of work as an investigator, I’m likely one of those rare few who refuses to view patients as mere numbers or cold statistical data; in fact, I’ve actually begun to feel a genuine sense of empathy for their struggles and their setbacks... but sadly, most of what we see boils down to nothing more than tracking survival rates... such is the state of modern medicine... though there is hope!

I sign off on just about everything said here. The reality is that when everything is reduced to simple survival metrics, I find myself seeing absolutely no hope at all. If there is any optimism to be found, it is usually just the false hope peddled by doctors driven by their own selfish interests. There are exceptions, of course, but they are few and far between!

Rebecca Chavez85 said:I agree with almost everything said here. The reality is that when it comes to just surviving, I personally see no hope. In my experience, the only "hope" offered is the false kind doctors provide for their own selfish interests. There are exceptions, of course, but they are rare.

What kind of hope are you referring to? Are you saying there is no hope for curing cancer at all, or do you mean there is no hope for curing it using the methods prescribed by modern medicine? Or perhaps you mean something else entirely?