Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

quietraven0 said:Angela Wright,
thanks for clearing that up; I'll try to track down that book ASAP.
Regarding stress, I totally agree—it’s really the primary trigger for most of those latent illnesses just waiting to surface inside us.
Sometimes I feel like running away to live on some tiny, quiet island in the Pacific 😉 but honestly, even that isn't that easy. For now, walking my dog is what helps me most; it clears my head and lets me recharge my batteries just enough.

My dog was an absolute lifesaver. He was my only real link to a normal life outside. I spent all my time stuck by my mom's side, except for when he had to go out. It gave me a legitimate excuse to shift my focus for a moment, which is absolutely vital if you don't want to lose your mind in a situation like this.

Donna Chase,
thanks, I’ll definitely do some digging online.
Honestly, I think it’s great. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that your husband actually believes the product is working for him.
For instance, my mom doesn't buy into the whole aloe vera thing, so I don't bother buying it for her; instead, she trusts local honey, so that’s what I give her. We did recently start taking beta glucan to boost our immunity, though, so we'll see how that goes.
I really believe it's best to teach kids about healthy habits from a young age so they actually grow to love them and it just becomes second nature. As for cigarettes, I don't think you need to stress too much; unfortunately, they see firsthand exactly how much damage they can do by watching what happened with their dad.
Make sure you all spend as much time together as possible enjoying good company. Love one another and everything will be fine. Don't let a gloomy or serious expression take over—like they say, laughter is the best medicine. 👍

Angela Wright,
You hit the nail on the head with that analogy about the dog, the outside world, and just using some common sense—that’s the honest truth right there.
If I didn't make it a point to get out for a walk every single day to create that little bit of distance between myself, my home, and this illness, I honestly think I’d lose my mind if I stayed cooped up.😂 And if that happened, I definitely wouldn't be much help to Mom.
Since you brought up how having a dog can serve as a "positive excuse," it actually inspired me to share a quick little story, and I’m feeling pretty happy just thinking about it.

Basically, my grandmother (my mom's mom) is that type of person we all know—she isn't exactly the type to be vocal about her feelings; she doesn't really say things like "I love you." Instead, she shows her affection by making sure you're always fed, because in her mind, love goes straight through the stomach.😉
Ever since Mom got sick, I realized Grandma wanted to say those words, even just once, before it’s too late, and of course, it would mean the world to Mom to hear them. So, I came up with an "excuse" involving apple strudel.
Grandma calls us up and says, "I'd love to come visit, but I haven't had time to bake any strudel, so what should I bring?" And I told her, "Nothing, just come over!" She knows Mom, and she knows that her strudel is basically her way of saying "I love you." So, Grandma comes over, walks through the door, and immediately tells my mom: "I DON'T HAVE ANY STRUDEL, BUT I'VE GOT YOU!" 🤣 We all burst out laughing, and it's such a beautiful memory to hold onto. Now, whenever she calls, she uses that little joke as her own "positive excuse"—it's silly, but it carries so much meaning!

Sorry for the long post, everyone, but I hope it at least managed to pull a smile out of you.

shadowmason6 said:That is wonderful, Nivia179!
I am sharing in your joy, especially because my own mom’s results have come back clear too—it's been a year since her surgery and all those treatments, and everything looks good on the CT, colonoscopy, biopsy, and markers)
🙂

... and yet, even though I’m keeping it to myself (because she’s finally starting to relax and feel encouraged by the news), I just can't shake these doubts... To be honest, her marker levels are still technically within the normal range, but they have been steadily climbing across three different tests since the surgery. Her next check-up isn't until December (which will be almost six months since the last one), and I can't help but wonder if her oncologist should have scheduled it sooner, maybe at the three-month mark... or perhaps ordered more scans, like a chest X-ray or a PET scan...
😕

I am truly happy for you🙂 let's stay positive; it's good to be cautious, but please don't let doubt take over🙂

quietraven0 said:Right now, that nasty infection we're dealing with is what's really keeping me up at night.

Quiet raven, I'm reaching out because what my dad is going through feels a lot like what your mom is facing. The big difference is that your mom actually got her surgery—honestly, thank God for that. With my dad, they backed out of the surgery at the very last second because during the mediastinoscopy, they found two enlarged lymph nodes on opposite sides of his lungs. He actually did pretty well through four cycles of AT&T and two rounds of five-day radiation. But man, the real struggle started when they diagnosed him with pneumonia on May 7th and sent him home. He struggled for seven days before they had to readmit him because his fever spiked. It's a long story, but basically, they let him go after 35 days and we thought we were finally in the clear. Nope. On my own whim, I took him to a private lab for bloodwork, and of course, I saw the infection was back. I rushed him straight to the hospital, where they confirmed the pneumonia had returned, and he ended up stuck there for another 18 days. He finally came home, but I took him for more bloodwork today because something just didn't feel right. I'm taking him back this Friday to redo the tests so we can figure out our next move. Anyway, I just wanted to warn you—these infections are super common for patients like them, and sadly, they can be fatal. I'm pretty sure my dad wouldn't survive another one. You really have to stay on top of everything yourself; if I hadn't been so hands-on, things would have gone south back in March when the doctors almost gave up on him. Honestly, Jasna Radic from the For a New Day forum helped me so much, and I also have a doctor on another forum who gives me daily advice on what to do, because until 11 months ago, I knew absolutely nothing about medicine.
Almost forgot to mention—they found out via blood culture that my dad has Pseudomonas bacteria.
Do you know exactly what's going on with your mom?
Wishing so much luck to you and everyone else here on the forum.
Best,

What kind of exercises should I be doing once I've had breast surgery involving the arm?

Sandra Morales27 said:What kind of exercises should I be doing for my arm after breast surgery?

Given how invasive the surgery was and everything they had to take out, you really ought to see a physical therapist who can tailor a specific routine for you. You can get a referral for a PT from your primary care physician. If you’re still recovering in the hospital, your oncologist or surgeon can just call over a staff physical therapist to check you out right there.

quietraven0 said:Donna Chase,
thank you, I think I'll do a little more research online.
I truly believe the most important thing is that your husband feels confident that the product is actually helping him.
For instance, my mother isn't much of a believer when it comes to aloe vera, so I never bother buying it for her; instead, she trusts local organic honey, so that's what I provide. We did recently start taking beta glucan to support our immune systems, so we'll see how that goes.
Ultimately, I think it's best to teach children healthy habits from a very young age, so they grow up loving those choices and they simply become second nature. As for cigarettes, I don't think there's a need to worry excessively; unfortunately, they get to see the consequences firsthand through their father's illness, which serves as a powerful lesson.
I hope you all spend as much quality time together as possible—just love one another and everything will work out. Don't let a gloomy or serious expression take hold; as the saying goes, laughter is the best medicine. 👍

He doesn't drink it anymore, but while he was using it, he felt a noticeable difference; he handled his chemotherapy quite well and barely had any side effects, aside from some mild headaches and a bit of nausea. Because of that, I really feel like IP 6 is making an impact. Our situation here in the States is quite different now that we are on the other side of it; we have checkups every six months and all the test results come back clear, thank God, and we're praying they stay that way. Faith has been a huge pillar for us, especially the spiritual exercises led by Zlatko sudac, so I truly believe that if you put your trust in God, everything will find its rightful path—it is something I have experienced deeply in my own life.

Amanda Martinez28,
I really have to hand it to you—your dedication and everything you’re doing for your dad is incredible. He’s lucky to have you in his corner.
I’m basically running my mom through a microscope myself; I’ve got her under constant observation because I know how vital it is to catch things early.
We went in for a checkup, but they ended up keeping her at the hospital, which isn't exactly the news I wanted to hear.😢
Still, I’m trying to stay positive. She’s in the right place now, and she’ll be getting the care she needs.
Try to keep that same positive mindset too. Hang in there, and good luck this Friday.

Donna Chase,
I am honestly just so relieved to hear that you've all moved past that stage and that your husband is doing well now. Every time I hear someone post about getting clean test results, it genuinely lifts my spirits and gives me so much hope.
As for the whole faith aspect, I couldn't agree more with you. Having faith is incredibly, incredibly important—it really does make such a huge difference when things get tough.

quietraven0 said:Amanda Martinez28,
seriously, kudos to you for everything you're doing for your dad. He's lucky to have you in his corner.
Honestly, I’m basically living with a magnifying glass over my mom 24/7 right now. Just gotta catch things early, you know?
We went in for her checkup and they actually ended up admitting her to the hospital. It doesn't look great.😢
But hey, trying to stay positive. She's in the right place and they'll take care of her.
Keep that positive mindset too—hang in there, and good luck this Friday.

They will help her, for sure. Honestly, being at the hospital is probably the best spot for her right now since they've got the oxygen, the right antibiotics, and all that stuff ready to go.
I spent almost the whole day with my dad today, and man... the hardest part is just watching him slowly fade away.

Thanks for tomorrow, and please, let me know how your mom is doing.

I owe everyone a little apology for not using the "Quote:" feature when I reply, so you all know exactly which point I’m addressing. I’ll be the first to admit I’m not exactly tech-savvy, so I still struggle with these little digital hiccups from time to time.😕 But I’ll get the hang of it soon enough.

Amanda Martinez28 said:I spent almost the entire day at my dad's place today, and honestly, the hardest part is watching him slowly just give up.

Amanda Martinez28,
it sounds like your dad is probably just hitting a rough patch or feeling a bit worn down right now, but please don't let him spiral into those deep, heavy thoughts. Try to snap him out of it by talking about something completely different—stuff that has nothing to do with health or being sick. Bring up things you know actually make him happy. Try to get a smile out of him; maybe recount some silly old memory from back in the day, anything really, just to remind him that life still has joyful moments and isn't just one big worry.
He’ll likely feel a bit better in a couple of days, so just be patient and try not to let his heavy moods pull you down with him. Stay strong and keep a positive outlook; you know how it goes—after the storm comes the sunshine.

quietraven0 said:Even though I don't smoke, I find myself wondering sometimes: just how much of cancer risk is actually hereditary?😕

Even today, we face two fundamental dilemmas regarding this subject. We are left to grapple with two primary questions: First, is cancer purely a matter of genetics? Or second, have we simply inherited the habits and lifestyles of our parents, thereby creating the conditions that lead to the disease?

quietraven0 said:Amanda Martinez28,
your dad probably just hit a wall or he's feeling worn out, but try not to let him spiral into those heavy thoughts. Try to pull him out of it with something totally different—not about the illness or any of that stuff, but things you know actually make him happy. Just try to get a smile out of him. Reminisce about some silly old memory, anything, just to remind him life isn't all worry.
He’ll be better in a few days, just hang in there and don't let his low moments drag you down too. Stay strong and keep your head up; you know the sun always comes out after the storm.

Look, we’ve dealt with our fair share of rough patches and we’ve made it through, but this? This is just brutal. Dad is struggling to breathe, this cough won't quit, and today he spiked a fever and started vomiting. He can't even eat. It's heartbreaking. Watching him decline like this when I feel so helpless... it's killing me. I begged them on Wednesday to start antibiotics, but they’re insisting on more tests just to "prove" there's an infection. I asked for something to help with the coughing, maybe something stronger to calm him down, but they say it's unnecessary. I told them he needs an IV and something specifically for the breathing issues, period. And then they have the nerve to tell me I should be grateful he looks this good after fighting this for 11 months. Seriously? Why shouldn't he look better? They aren't with him 24/7, so they don't see how bad it really is. He can't even sleep at night; right now, he's passed out in his armchair because lying down makes him choke. It's awful. And what's worse is seeing how they cut corners on patients like him. I'm waiting on results today, then I'm heading in to talk to Doc. I'm praying things ease up, otherwise, it's going to be a fight. I bought a nebulizer for home use so I can give him treatments and help even a little bit, since there's so much I can't do on my own. Man, it hurts. I feel like I'm hitting a breaking point.
Sorry for the vent, I just needed to get it all out to feel even a tiny bit better.
Thanks so much for the support.

Just dropping in to say hey.
I honestly don't have the energy to type much.
Some things just... they just don't sit right with me.😕

Dad, man, I miss you so much. 😢
The hole you left behind is so dark and deep, I feel like nothing could ever actually fill it.
I love you more than words can say.

casualrider21 said:I suppose I will offer just a brief greeting...
The energy required to write more simply isn't there today.
There are certain realities one finds impossible to reconcile with...😕

Dearest Father, how I find myself longing for your presence 😢
The void left by Your departure is so profound and dark that I fear nothing could ever truly fill it...
My love for you remains immeasurable.

🙂🙂🙂🙂

When such a vacuum is created, there is no real way to come to terms with it; though as time passes, the ache softens and those cherished memories begin to provide strength...

No matter how heavy the burden feels, let what you carry in your heart serve as a warmth to guide you through the day. Strive to be the woman He would want to see standing there right now... Don't lose heart.

casualrider21 said:Just dropping in to say hey.
I’m just totally drained. No energy left to type much.
Some things... they just don't sit right with me.😕

Dad, man, I miss you so much. 😢
The hole you left behind is just this massive, dark void. It feels impossible to fill.
Love you more than anything.

casualrider21, there really aren't any words that can fix this. The pain is just brutal, honestly.. But, honey, you've got those memories. Just lean into all those good times you shared together. That’s what matters. That's what'll get you through.
Hang in there. I'm right here with you.

So, my mom just got confirmed with multifocal glioblastoma. She had surgery on July 15th, and the surgeon says everything went pretty smoothly, which is a small mercy I guess. For now, she’s feeling okay and her vitals are holding steady, so we’re just bracing ourselves for the upcoming radiation and chemo rounds. Honestly, everyone else—even Mom—is handling this way better than my dad is; he’s just completely broken and so lost that even she has to step in and write down his to-do lists for him. I know there aren't any real rules and every situation is its own kind of nightmare, but does anyone have a rough idea of how long this phase usually lasts, you know, while her vitals are still looking good?

Carol Mitchell86 said:Unfortunately, my mom was just diagnosed with multifocal glioblastoma. She had surgery on July 15th, and the surgeon feels good about how it went. She’s feeling okay right now, and all her vitals are stable for the moment. We're mentally bracing ourselves for the upcoming radiation and chemo. Everyone else—even Mom—is holding up much better than my dad is. He’s completely broken; he’s so lost that she actually has to write down things for him to do. I know there are no set rules and everything is different for everyone, but roughly how long can we expect this phase—where her vital signs are still steady—to last?

There is no way to give you a timeline. You have to take it one day at a time and refuse to give up! I truly believe this disease can be beaten. As for your dad, he needs to pull himself together immediately. Pull him aside and have a real talk with him. Right now, he cannot be an additional burden, and he absolutely cannot let his own fear and despair overshadow what she's going through. You're going to have to give him a wake-up call, because it's vital for her sake!