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Reddit Mod Team: Thread regarding "Impotent Husband" topic

Started by Carl Fisher7 · · 👁 7 views · 55 replies

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Participants Carl Fisher7boldwalker12stormylynx4Jacob Sullivan91Scott Miller4steelskipper132Sean Cruznimbleowl6rustydrifter10Joshua Jones13
Carl Fisher7 Carl Fisher7 NewcomerOP
4 messages
joined Oct 2012
#1 ·
Hey there—so, on the main thread, I first got a warning from the mod team, and then I was sanctioned by boldwalker12 for supposedly trolling in the post below:

Carl Fisher7 said:Look, I know I’m risking a warning or a ban... whatever, but I’m not actually commenting on the moderator's post here. I’m trying to explain the actual point of my previous post. It isn't about nitpicking the guy's specific situation—and I'll give him credit for being upfront about that part 👍—but rather, I wanted the OP to get an honest answer. Since she's the only man in this thread who actually had the guts to be blunt, I wanted her to receive a real response to her question. She's asking how someone can verbally say "I love you" while consciously choosing to do nothing to fix a problem—even though they know exactly what's causing it—thereby deliberately withholding intimacy and essentially sabotaging their partner. This is directly tied to the core issue of this thread; it's really just the same fundamental problem wearing two different masks.

An honest answer didn't exactly follow, but even the non-answer—or the kind of answer I did get—is the sort of thing where the OP, who clearly has enough intelligence 😉 , can figure out the reasons herself.

And those reasons, based on everything I've learned from Reddit, observing people in real life, or just my own past experiences, are pretty clear: most men who deal with total or partial impotence, or any form of ED that prevents them from satisfying their partner, act as if their wives should just accept their condition, suppress their own sexuality, and basically kill off their own libido.

That isn't how you treat someone you love. In fact, you shouldn't do that to anyone. Back when we had that closed thread about affairs, we saw several examples of people stepping out precisely because of these exact issues in marriages. In every single one of those cases, over time, the love died, the respect vanished, and it turned into lethargy and contempt. Eventually, all those women sought fulfillment through affairs. Usually more than once. The root cause wasn't the erectile dysfunction itself, but the complete lack of will to actually solve the problem.

boldwalker12 said:You've crossed the line. This isn't the first time you've pushed your agenda despite knowing the rules, and you continue to express your opinions about other users in such a crude and disrespectful way. My suggestion? Back off and change your attitude toward these threads, because the next step might not just be a warning—it could be a partial ban.

There was zero trolling on my part, nor was there any insulting or belittling of other users. The question was asked right in the OP's opening post, and it goes like this...

Ms. X said:I’m curious what the guys think: if your wife is trying to help but you refuse it and just suppress the issue, is it because you feel like you aren't being masculine enough or ?

... and I specifically used or because, based on everything I’ve seen, anyone smart enough can see that these men are doing this consciously—and they honestly don't give a damn about their wives in the process. Looking at the thread and the replies from Carl Fisher7, it's pretty obvious that people don't want to write down the actual reason why they act the way they do. It’s fairly clear where the roots lie when men consciously deny their wives sexual satisfaction (everything I've said is strictly within the scope of the topic the author is asking about). Plenty of women have described similar experiences, including in that locked thread about affairs—which, frankly, I still don't get why it was even deemed relevant, whether temporary or permanent.

Then there are posts like these...

north wind said:Exactly... it isn't love, at least not by any definition of the word I recognize. It would be more like sexual abuse.

... which weren't flagged as insulting users on the Reddit, even though it's the exact same sentiment on the exact same topic, yet those kinds of comments go completely unpunished.

And then there's the moderating trolling...

boldwalker12 said:Not every single one. But this one definitely gives off that vibe. The whole post feels like an ad to me. Artistic impression matters, for God's sake. 🤷

... which was even repeated, while simultaneously making false claims...

boldwalker12 said:Is it possible? I mean, I don't trust women who advertise themselves as being "good," "righteous," or "hot" and send photos via DM while acting all worried about marriage problems.

... which was exactly what the OP herself had to say about it...

I don't even know where to start with this one—it’s like watching a slow-motion train wreck in downtown Chicago. You see someone acting like they own the room, thinking they're some kind of untouchable icon, and then reality hits them like a freight train. It's honestly almost funny if it wasn't so exhausting. kaže:
Moderator, I really hope you actually take a second to read what you wrote yourself. I told you to go back and look at my post—it’s not about me twisting your words, it’s about the fact that you’re doing exactly that. She claimed she was sending me a photo via DM—something that’s just plain false.Look, as a moderator—if you’re even bothering to engage with a thread—could you at least make an effort to read the opening post? That's really all I'm asking.

... which is exactly why they got slapped with a totally unnecessary—and honestly, pretty harsh—reprimand from the same management.

boldwalker12 said:Stop responding to warnings that have been highlighted. I’m telling you one more time: Reddit isn't some customer support group where you can demand attention just because you want certain people to answer you. This is your final warning. Dial back the attitude and quit acting like you're entitled to settle scores with other users here.

Instead of getting a formal apology from the mod for pushing false claims and straight-up trolling, she just got... nothing.

Your moderation style is honestly pretty pathetic—it’s actually kind of tragicomic. If you ask anyone with even a shred of common sense, they'll tell you it's nothing more than a joke.

In the slim hope that I might actually encounter a shred of common sense around here—fingers crossed—I wish you all the best. Carl Fisher7
boldwalker12 boldwalker12 Active Member
101 messages
joined Jul 2010
#2 ·
Carl Fisher7 said:Look, I wasn’t trolling, and I definitely wasn't insulting or belittling anyone else on this Reddit. I was just addressing the actual question asked in the OP, which goes like this...

Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't get a warning or an instant ban for that one:

Carl Fisher7 said:Why don't you just pop a blue pill and finally give your frustrated wife the night she clearly thinks she deserves?

You really overstepped there. And judging by how much you seem to enjoy playing "gotcha" with people's words while ignoring the rules, it looks like a warning wouldn't even phase you. You just want to dissect everyone here. It's not happening.

Your moderation style is frankly laughable, pathetic, and almost tragicomic to anyone with half a brain.

In the hopes that I might actually encounter some common sense eventually, sincerely, Carl Fisher7.

Message received. But let me make one thing clear: this isn't your first time stirring the pot in this thread. You've got this habit of being combative and nitpicking posts down to the atomic level just to provoke or insult someone. I already gave you a heads-up, but hey, do what you want.

I'm not going to turn this into a massive drama fest like you usually do. I'm done.
stormylynx4 stormylynx4 Member
49 messages
joined Mar 2006
#3 ·
I've been following this thread, and even though I have nothing to do with the appeal above, it’s pretty obvious you totally misread Ms. X and wrongly accused her of sliding into DMs with those photos. Honestly, I think you owe her an apology ☕
Carl Fisher7 Carl Fisher7 NewcomerOP
4 messages
joined Oct 2012
#4 ·
stormylynx4 said:I’ve been following this thread, and even though I have absolutely nothing to do with that appeal above, I couldn't help but notice you totally misread the situation with Ms. X—accusing her of sliding into DMs with those photos was a massive reach. Honestly, you probably owe her an apology. ☕

boldwalker12 said:That's all I've got for you.

Oh, sure. You conveniently skipped over the part where you spent the whole time trolling and throwing around fake accusations. Not to mention, you haven't even bothered to offer the author a single apology for that blatant lie you tried to pin on her.

Look, I hear you on the rest of that—point taken. But just so we’re clear, I’m not posting here to win any popularity contests, hunt for a date, or even just to kill time by wasting everyone's breath with useless chatter.

I try to write stuff that actually makes sense once in a while—sometimes even digging into the actual root of why men won't lift a finger to fix their issues, which is usually what leads to their partners hitting a breaking point of pure frustration. That’s basically the whole point of my thread and the core question I'm asking. But honestly, with the way this place is moderated, there's no way anyone is going to get a coherent answer here.

Edit: I still stand by the question I posted earlier—I think it’s a perfectly logical follow-up given the context of the topic and everything he shared about himself. It wasn't meant to be an insult, honestly. But how do you even phrase a question like that without making the person feel attacked? You can't. There just isn't a way.

So, I just noticed my thread got nuked in the meantime. Honestly, I’m curious—who exactly did I offend, and what was the crime?
Jacob Sullivan91 Jacob Sullivan91 Active Member
59 messages
joined Apr 2022
#5 ·
Look, you weren't just making some general point... you went straight for a specific user on this thread. We don't play that here.
Carl Fisher7 Carl Fisher7 NewcomerOP
4 messages
joined Oct 2012
#6 ·
Emily Patel70 said:You weren't making general points—you were taking direct shots at a specific user in this thread. We don't allow that here.

Look, I wasn't attacking anyone; I was just laying out the facts. I even started a separate thread to make sure I wasn't being personal, but that got nuked immediately too. So, what gives? How exactly does starting a new discussion constitute an insult to someone?
boldwalker12 boldwalker12 Active Member
101 messages
joined Jul 2010
#7 ·
Carl Fisher7 said:Look, I wasn't attacking anyone, I was just explaining things. I even started a whole new thread where I didn't insult a single soul, and what happens? It gets nuked immediately. Why? Seriously, who exactly did I offend by just starting a discussion?

Oh, please. After you launched that disgusting ad hominem attack against Debt—and I already pointed out exactly why your post was so repulsive—you think you can just pivot and start a "general discussion" on the topic? 😁
As if.
Keep trying to play it that way and you're looking at a cooling-off period. You aren't going to get away with throwing ad hominem jabs and spitting on people on this Reddit.
Carl Fisher7 Carl Fisher7 NewcomerOP
4 messages
joined Oct 2012
#8 ·
boldwalker12 said:After that disgusting ad hominem attack on Debt—and I already pointed out exactly why that specific post was so repulsive—you really think opening a whole new thread to discuss the issue in general terms is the move here? 😁
As if.

Honestly, I find it absolutely revolting—the way he and every other guy like him consciously does this to their wives.

Look, this thread isn't meant for tearing apart anyone's Debt or picking apart any other user on this Reddit. By over-moderating like this, you’re basically making sure the original poster never gets a straight answer. I laid out exactly what my intentions were right in the opening post—I thought I was being clear enough.

If you keep opening this up, you're just asking to get cooled down. And seriously—drop the ad hominem attacks and stop spitting on people on Reddit.

It’s pretty obvious you’re just trying to shut me down—I mean, anyone with half a brain reading this can see that. And honestly? You're insulting my intelligence in the process.
boldwalker12 boldwalker12 Active Member
101 messages
joined Jul 2010
#9 ·
Carl Fisher7 said:I find it absolutely disgusting how he and all other guys like him consciously do this to their wives.

The whole point here isn't to dissect Debt or any other user on this Reddit. By playing moderator, you're basically making sure the OP doesn't get a single real answer. I made my intentions crystal clear right from the jump in my opening post.

It’s blindingly obvious you’re just trying to shut me down—anyone with half a brain can see that. And on top of that, you're insulting my intelligence.

If you actually wanted to "shut me down," you would've been banned the second you stepped on someone else. You haven't met a single person you haven't provoked or picked a fight with, and honestly, you just seem to get a kick out of obsessing over impotence issues.
Your fake-ass concern for the OP isn't fooling anyone. Certainly not the moderators.

I've had enough.

Everything's been said. As far as I'm concerned, this thread is dead.
Jacob Sullivan91 Jacob Sullivan91 Active Member
59 messages
joined Apr 2022
#10 ·
Carl Fisher7 said:Look, I wasn't attacking anyone, I was just explaining things. So I went ahead and started a whole new thread where I didn't even insult anyone... and what happens? It gets nuked immediately. Why? Seriously, who did I offend by just starting a new topic?

You can't just spin up a new thread to keep arguing points from posts you already got flagged for, especially when you're being rude to other users.

Just look at how you're talking to the guy who was actually sharing his personal struggles in that thread. It's honestly bottom-of-the-barrel behavior. And let's be real—you knew exactly why you were getting flagged, just like you admitted at the start of your post.

If you’re dealing with stuff like this yourself, or if you want to have a high-level discussion about the psychological impact of being impotent, go ahead and start a thread over in the Psychology section... but do it without trashing or psychoanalyzing everyone else.

We aren't going to tolerate that kind of vibe here on ZouD.

Also, I see you keep bringing up those chats about how to be a mistress—those were shut down for a reason, in coordination with the admin, so there's really no point in constantly whining about why those specific chats were closed. If you need to chat, ZouD has a dedicated chat thread for that.

Please, just watch how you talk to the other users and the mods, because we've already had several complaints filed against you.

Best,
Carl Fisher7 Carl Fisher7 NewcomerOP
4 messages
joined Oct 2012
#11 ·
Emily Patel70 said:If you're dealing with these issues yourself—or if you just want to dive deeper into the psychological fallout of being impotent—I’d suggest starting a thread over in Psychology. Just, you know, try to keep it civil and refrain from psychoanalyzing everyone else.

I feel like I’ve made that pretty clear in several of my posts by now. As for your suggestion, I’ll probably take it; let's face it, the original poster isn't going to get any real answers in this specific thread anyway.

I noticed you keep bringing up those chats about mistresses—those were closed for a reason, per an agreement with the admin. There’s really no point in constantly questioning why those specific rooms are locked. If you're looking for that kind of discussion, ZouD has a dedicated thread for it.

You've completely missed the mark here. I wasn't even talking about that locked mistress chat—I don't care about that. I was referring to a different thread that got shut down under some pretty flimsy reasoning, not the one you're obsessing over.

Please watch your tone when interacting with other Reddit users and moderators; there have already been multiple complaints filed against you.

Look, I write how I want, using blunt language that isn't always wrapped in polite little bows. Somewhere in the Rules or the admin notes, it's stated that readers or users might encounter language that isn't exactly for kids or seniors. Honestly, I don't see the issue—we're discussing sexual topics on a public forum, not on a Catholic forum or some religious site.

Best to you.

boldwalker12 said:and you clearly get a kick out of dragging out discussions about impotence.
Your "saintly" concern for the author isn't fooling anyone. And it certainly isn't fooling the moderators.

That is a complete fabrication.
Jacob Sullivan91 Jacob Sullivan91 Active Member
59 messages
joined Apr 2022
#12 ·
Carl Fisher7;52394720 said:
You’ve got it all wrong because I wasn't even talking about that locked chat about being a mistress—I don't care about that. I was talking about a different topic that got shut down for some totally irrelevant reason, not the one you're bringing up. [/qoute]

Look, threads get nuked when they stop making sense. Either people stop posting anything useful, or it just turns into a massive dumpster fire of trolls and insults. That thread was closed for a good reason.

I write how I want, using blunt and explicit language without sugarcoating everything to fit some polite standard. Somewhere in the Rules or some admin note on Reddit, it says readers or users might run into language that isn't exactly for kids or seniors. Honestly, I don't see what the big deal is... we're talking about sexual topics on a public forum, not on some Catholic site or a religious board.

Take care.

Every PDF has its own internal vibe and rules. I'm pretty sure you saw that bolded warning over at LJES. Well, if you're hanging out on ZouD, you better start cleaning up your act and wrapping those expressions in a way that actually fits the forum. And maybe tone down the insults and the constant attacks on other users to a minimum. Or, better yet... just stop doing it entirely.
boldwalker12 boldwalker12 Active Member
101 messages
joined Jul 2010
#13 ·
If you’re talking about the "to be a mistress" thread, you should honestly just thank yourself that it got locked.

Here is another gem from your posts over there:

Carl Fisher7 said:🤮

I'm actually looking forward to seeing someone else bang her. It almost certainly won't just be you.

You basically go on an aggressive tear against pretty much every guy you decide isn't "performing" well enough for his wife, acting like you're some kind of ultimate lover who could do a better job than them. You turn every discussion into this disgusting battlefield where you just live for the thrill of picking on people on Reddit.

The only reason you get away with this crap is because you don't give a damn about the rules—they mean nothing to you. All you care about is having a target to vent your frustrations on, whatever your weird motives might be.

So, yeah, the explanation isn't invalid. That thread was locked because you turned it into a revolting ego trip and a way to trash other guys—in this case, radical change, and today, as we saw with Debt and the rest, getting even closer to that.

It’s honestly wild that after all that, you still have the nerve to complain. You get way too much leeway, which is exactly why we have to step in.
boldwalker12 boldwalker12 Active Member
101 messages
joined Jul 2010
#14 ·
I wouldn't go so far as to say you've explicitly labeled those exact women you're supposedly trying to "help" as frustrated housewives:

Carl Fisher7 said:Personally, I've always appreciated that marriages—as this whole institution meant to execute sexual passion and general intimacy—have historically been a breeding ground for frustrated housewives (and I mean that in the most complimentary way possible 😉) during their absolute prime. We're talking about women who are burning up with desire at the very age they're most desirable, possessing peak libido, and when they don't just enjoy, but actually deeply value a man who shows genuine interest in them.

This whole debate dragged on for four straight years until you basically dragged it through the mud with your weird fantasies and insults. The thread isn't necessarily dead forever, but let's be real: you won't be allowed to post like this if it ever reopens, whether it's this topic or anything else. Take that vulgar, insult-heavy, self-indulgent attitude somewhere else; ZouD is a high-quality platform that actually maintains a certain standard.
Carl Fisher7 Carl Fisher7 NewcomerOP
4 messages
joined Oct 2012
#15 ·
boldwalker12 said:I won't even mention how you called those exact same women—the ones you’re so desperate to help—"frustrated second-hand goods":

That thread dragged on for four whole years until you basically dragged it through the mud with your fantasies and insults. It might not be closed forever, but let’s be real: if it ever reopens, you aren't going to be allowed to communicate like this anymore—not just there, but across other threads too. Take that vulgar, insult-heavy, self-indulgent attitude somewhere else; ZouD actually maintains a certain standard.

Yeah, I’m with you on that—the issue is pretty obvious when you strip everything down to its brutal essence. It’s never a problem when that same essence is wrapped up in some "socially acceptable" packaging.

acting like some sort of perfect lover who could do a better job than him

That’s just a narrative you’ve cooked up, because I never said or even hinted at anything like that. Besides, RC and his views were torn apart by almost everyone reading or writing back then—and not just by me. Find a better example.

Look, it’s fair to say I’ve crossed the line occasionally. And whenever I did, I took the hit and didn't complain about losing points. But this moderation today? It’s unacceptable. This is exactly what kills the conversation. And to top it off, you’re practically accusing me of being a psychopath. I’ve already asked a few people on Reddit about my writing style, and their feedback doesn't sound anything like your assessment. And we're talking about women here.

By the way, you still haven't apologized to one of them, even though you told an obvious lie. You won't even address that.

Anyway, I started a thread in the psychology section like I was advised. I tried to keep the presentation polished, but the core message remains the same.
boldwalker12 boldwalker12 Active Member
101 messages
joined Jul 2010
#16 ·
Carl Fisher7 said:Yeah, I’m totally with you on that. The issue only becomes glaringly obvious when someone decides to strip away the fluff and just lay out the brutal truth. It’s never a problem when the core reality is wrapped up in some "polite, socially acceptable" little package, right?

Look, I’ve gotta say it: asking stuff like "how many times a week are you sleeping with your husband" or "does he actually get you wet" isn't getting to the heart of the matter. It's just cheapening the whole conversation. This thread actually produced some incredibly high-quality posts, but you’re turning it into a total troll fest. If you haven't noticed, the woman you're grilling here clearly wasn't impressed by your "logic." ZouD isn't LJES.

That’s just something you made up in your head because I never said—let alone hinted at—anything even remotely like that. Honestly, pretty much everyone who was reading or posting back then absolutely tore RC's views to shreds. It wasn't just me, either. Seriously, if you're going to come at me, find a better example than that.

Look, the example itself is solid, regardless of how RC's writing style is—which, let's be real, I'm not even going to get into with you because that's not what we're doing here. Like I told you in my previous post, that's exactly what's going on.

Look, I’ll be the first to admit that I definitely cross the line every once in a while. And honestly? Every time I do, I take the hit, accept the penalty, and move on without making a scene about my lost karma. No big deal. But what happened today? That was straight-up garbage moderation. You aren't just policing the rules; you're actively killing the entire thread. And to top it all off, you’re basically calling me a psychopath? Give me a break. I’ve actually reached out to several people on Reddit to get some honest feedback on my writing style, and their takes are nothing like your ridiculous assessment. And by the way, they were all women.

Look, given what I already laid out above, I’m not exactly surprised. But let's get one thing straight: just because a certain group of women is backing you up doesn't mean you aren't being insulting or dragging the quality of this entire discussion through the mud. At the end of the day, it's our job as moderators to judge whether things have gone too far, not the job of whatever women happen to be impressed by your habit of attacking impotent husbands. Besides, we're getting plenty of feedback from women who find your posts totally obnoxious, so there's really no point in even debating this anymore.

Look, you still haven't even bothered to apologize to one of them, despite the fact that you clearly told a blatant lie. And honestly? You’re just completely dodging the whole topic.

You think I’m just going to roll over and apologize on command? Please. steelskipper132 claimed she was doing just fine simply because he asked for a photo. If he was out there spinning lies, then I guess I’m lying too—it definitely wasn't intentional, and honestly, that's all I have to say about it.

By the way, I actually went ahead and started that psychology thread like everyone told me to. I made sure to keep the presentation polished and professional, but honestly? It’s the exact same core message as before.

Man, you really went and spat in the face of the ZouD moderation team, didn't you? You know damn well the rules say we don't go dragging the mods into specific threads, and then you go ahead and bring up Debt again. I actually flagged the supermod about it.
Carl Fisher7 Carl Fisher7 NewcomerOP
4 messages
joined Oct 2012
#17 ·
Emily Patel70 said:We really need to start cleaning up the language on ZouD to make it more forum-friendly. That means cutting down on the insults and the constant personal attacks on other users—or better yet, just getting rid of them entirely.

Well, you and I clearly see this differently. When I’m reading through the barrage of insults some people—like nausicaja, though certainly not the only one—have thrown my way on several occasions, I have to wonder why that behavior is fine for some but a violation for others. Not to mention a few other "incidents," if we're being polite about it.

Emily Patel70 said:Even you knew what you were writing was just filler, just like you admitted at the start of your post.

No, what I knew was that certain mods handle things based on whatever mood they happen to be in.
boldwalker12 boldwalker12 Active Member
101 messages
joined Jul 2010
#18 ·
Carl Fisher7 said:Nah, I already figured some mods just do whatever they feel like at the time.

Wait, so you're saying they just punish people whenever they feel like it for replying to a highlighted post?
I wouldn't call it that. You knew you were gonna catch a strike because you were straight-up breaking the rules. It was a conscious choice.
Carl Fisher7 Carl Fisher7 NewcomerOP
4 messages
joined Oct 2012
#19 ·
boldwalker12 said:Which part of the ZouD moderation did you decide to spit on? You know perfectly well we don't comment on moderation within threads, and then you went ahead and brought up Debt again. I already flagged the supermod about it.

Fixed it. I couldn't fix the second one because it was basically the only example in the thread where anyone was actually addressing the topic head-on. How am I supposed to avoid that? It’s pretty much impossible.

So, based on your own logic, people get penalized just for commenting on highlighted posts?
I wouldn't say that. You knew you were going to get flagged because you were breaking the rules. Plain and simple.

I was hoping it would be taken as me clarifying my own previous point, rather than just "commenting on a highlighted post." But, strictly speaking, you're right.

boldwalker12 said:...instead of the women who are clearly impressed by how you attack impotent husbands.

That's just not true. Read what I actually wrote—and I'm not the only one who said it. The issue is willful refusal to seek treatment, not impotence. And most of the women here have pointed out the exact same thing.

Likewise, we also have plenty of info on the women who can't stand your posts, so there's really no point in even debating it.

Fair enough. Besides, I truly couldn't care less what anyone thinks of me.
Jacob Sullivan91 Jacob Sullivan91 Active Member
59 messages
joined Apr 2022
#20 ·
Carl Fisher7 said:My bad, fixed it. I couldn't do the other one because it was basically the only example in this whole thread where someone actually talked about it openly. How am I supposed to avoid that? It’s freaking impossible...

It is possible. Just give me an example from your own life... 🤷

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