CheckEmoji Community · the emoji forum
🏠 Home 🆕 What's new ❓ Unanswered 🔥 Popular 📡 RSS Members 👥 0 online log in · register
Home › Lifestyle › Health › Support for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses (Part II)

Support for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses (Part II)

Started by Angela Wright · · 👁 86 views · 3.6K replies

📡 Subscribe to replies

Participants Angela WrightTaylor Jackson14Edward Grant3stormytinker4restlessowl3Rachel Wood27silvercanyon7goldencrane3neonheron32Gregory Stewart4Brandon Lopez6copperbison4driftingsurfer14feralsurfer72Sandra Carter50Linda Patel21Maria Hughes67Nicholas MyersLisa Lopez75Bradley Scott2Kyle Lee7velvetmoose9Nancy Leemelloworca6 …
Angela Wright Angela Wright RegularOP
731 messages
joined Feb 2007
#2881 ·
Hug, dear
Sophia Reyes3 said:Hey there,
it’s been about three years since I last posted, and I’m still hanging in there 🙂. I want to wish everyone nothing but strength and persistence in this fight, and a huge thanks to Angela Wright.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy J5 using Reddit
Angela Wright Angela Wright RegularOP
731 messages
joined Feb 2007
#2882 ·
Oh man,
Look, no matter how much this hits you right now, you need to pull yourself together and focus entirely on yourself and that little one.
Life is just one endless, uphill battle when you step back and look at the big picture. We just have to keep pushing.
Rachel Williams said:It’s been four months since we lost Mom, I’m three weeks away from giving birth, and then yesterday we found out my aunt has lymphoma... 🕺

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy using Reddit
urbanharbor15 urbanharbor15 Member
21 messages
joined Dec 2017
#2883 ·
Rachel Williams said:It’s been four months since Mom passed... and I’ve only got three weeks left until I give birth. Then, just yesterday, we found out my aunt has lymphoma... everything just keeps hitting at once... 🕺

Man... I really feel for my aunt. Keeping everything crossed that she pulls through this fight. Sometimes you see lymphoma cases that actually have a better shot than lung cancer... just goes to show how unpredictable it all is...

Best of luck with the family... You truly deserve all the happiness in the world, and I really hope everything goes smoothly when the little one arrives...

My mom... you know how it is. It was at the exact same time yours was four months old. I finished my PhD on June 20th, and by the 22nd, it had been four months since she passed. When I was standing up there on that stage to receive my doctorate, I could barely swallow... just a lump in my throat...
Robin Diaz4 Robin Diaz4 Active Member
62 messages
joined Jun 2006
#2884 ·
Rachel Williams, I am so incredibly sorry to hear about your aunt...
As for lymphoma, I can't speak to the specifics, though my cousin (my boyfriend's age, actually) went through it. It happened right at the same time my dad was battling his own illness, so, unfortunately, I didn't have the headspace to really dig into the details or ask many questions back then.
All I know is that he’s doing great today.
Timothy Kim9 Timothy Kim9 Active Member
100 messages
joined Jun 2007
#2885 ·
So, maybe this is just how they view patients now
—this whole "cost-cutting" approach to the healthcare system, right?

If it’s a kid or someone young, people fight like hell for them. But
once you hit a certain age, apparently it's just easier to let them go.
Cheaper than running expensive tests, I guess. So much for universal healthcare.

My heart goes out to anyone who has lost someone to this horrible disease.
Maria Allen6 Maria Allen6 Newcomer
7 messages
joined May 2018
#2886 ·
Timothy Kim9 said:Oh, so maybe it’s just this general attitude toward patients
and this whole idea of "cutting costs within the healthcare system," right?

If it’s a young person or a child, everyone fights tooth and nail for them, but
once they hit a certain age, you just let them pass away because
it’s cheaper than running expensive diagnostic tests. So much for universal healthcare.

My heart goes out to anyone who has lost someone to this horrific disease.

I don't think I quite followed your train of thought there. In reality, nobody just sits back and lets someone die. When we deal with "younger" patients—or even just tumors that are actually curable—the medical approach is far more aggressive because the assumption is that the body can actually withstand the intensity of the treatment. With older patients, or when dealing with incurable metastases, the focus shifts toward quality of life and extending what time remains. The diagnostic tests themselves aren't the end-all-be-all; they are primarily tools for monitoring the progression. And honestly, cancer shouldn't even be viewed as a singular "disease" in the traditional sense, given that tumor cells are forming inside our bodies every single day; it’s really just a matter of whether your immune system is capable of clearing them out before they take hold.
Walter Brown30 Walter Brown30 Newcomer
5 messages
joined May 2014
#2887 ·
Raymond Smith53 said:I don't think I followed you perfectly. In reality, nobody just lets someone die without a fight. When dealing with "younger" patients—or cases where the tumor is actually curable—doctors go all out with aggressive treatments because they assume the body can handle the punch. But with older patients, or when we're looking at terminal metastases, the goal shifts toward extending life and maintaining quality. The scans themselves aren't everything; they’re really just tools to monitor how the disease is behaving. Besides, cancer isn't some external invader; it's more like an internal glitch. Tumor cells are forming in our bodies every single day; it's just a matter of whether your immune system is strong enough to wipe them out before they get a foothold.

To be honest, those words actually brought me a bit of peace. 🤔 For the longest time, I couldn't shake this gut feeling that the doctors had basically written my mom off from the very beginning—like they hadn't even bothered to try, or...
Maybe in time, it'll all make sense. Just one day at a time.
Walter Brown30 Walter Brown30 Newcomer
5 messages
joined May 2014
#2888 ·
Rachel Williams said:It’s been four months since we lost my mom, and I’m just three weeks away from giving birth myself. Then, to add insult to injury, we found out yesterday that my aunt—my mom's sister—has been diagnosed with lymphoma. It feels like one of those times where life just decides to pile everything on you all at once without even asking if you can handle it. 🕺

Look, you can't just generalize about this. The type of lymphoma matters immensely. We aren't all talking about the same thing here—there are certain types where you can actually build a life and live with it for a long time, while others are a completely different beast altogether. You have to know exactly what you're dealing with if you want to make sense of any of this. Easier. Suppose you’re dealing with someone who has, say, an autoimmune disease. 🤔
ruggedfox11 ruggedfox11 Active Member
239 messages
joined Feb 2017
#2889 ·
Raymond Smith53 said:I don't think I quite followed your point—not to be blunt, but no one just sits by and lets someone pass away without trying anything. It’s more about strategy. With younger patients—or those facing tumors that are actually treatable—doctors tend to go much more aggressive with therapy, assuming the body can handle the punch. But when dealing with older patients, or cases involving incurable metastases, the focus shifts toward quality of life and extending what time remains. The scans themselves aren't the whole story; they're really just tools for monitoring how the disease is behaving. And honestly, cancer shouldn't even be viewed as a "disease" in the traditional sense—tumor cells are forming in our bodies every single day; it's really just a matter of whether the immune system can step up and clear them out before they become a problem.

My husband had an experience that was truly heartbreaking. He was being treated for pneumonia, but because his primary diagnosis was small cell lung cancer—and he ended up in the wrong ward entirely—the neurologist essentially pulled the plug on his treatment. They just kept him bedridden and restricted, providing nothing but potassium supplements while essentially letting him slip away. It’s a harsh reality to face, but there are doctors out there who simply write patients off, refusing to lift a finger to try and save someone...
neoncyclist792 neoncyclist792 Member
12 messages
joined Mar 2021
#2890 ·
What do you do when imaging shows a lizard cancer, three different doctors all agree everything looks enlarged, yet the third biopsy comes back negative and nothing changes? Now I'm just stuck in this loop of repeating biopsies over and over.
neoncyclist792 neoncyclist792 Member
12 messages
joined Mar 2021
#2891 ·
Could someone help me make sense of this pathology report? This isn't about the previous thread; I'm asking for my dad.
Papillary urothelial carcinoma of the urinary bladder
Histological type: Urothelial carcinoma
Histological grade: High grade
Tumor structure: Papillary formations
Microscopic extension: Tumor has infiltrated the lamina propria
Muscle tissue: No tumor present
Urothelium: Ordered
A transurethral resection was performed, removing one 20mm tumor along with some smaller fragments.
Follow-up and surgery scheduled for July 16th.
What should we be bracing for?
neoncyclist792 neoncyclist792 Member
12 messages
joined Mar 2021
#2892 ·
Could someone help me make sense of this pathology report? It’s unrelated to the previous discussion—this one is about my dad.
carcinoma of the urinary bladder (papillary urothelial carcinoma)
histological type-urothelial carcinoma
histological grade-high grade
tumor structure-papillary formations
microscopic extension-lamina propria infiltrated by tumor
muscle tissue-no tumor involvement
organized urothelium
Transurethral resection of the tumor was performed; one 20mm lesion and some smaller ones were removed.
Follow-up and surgery scheduled for July 16th.
What should we be bracing for?
amberseal amberseal Newcomer
2 messages
joined Jul 2018
#2893 ·
Hi everyone. My mom (64) ended up in the hospital yesterday because of some intense chest pains. An ultrasound revealed a 3mm infiltrate on her pancreas.
She had seen a doctor recently regarding a persistent cough, but the chest X-ray came back clear.
About three months ago, she started noticing walnut-sized lumps appearing across her torso. Her primary physician insisted they were just lipomas and referred her to a dermatologist. She’s been seeing this same doctor since 2020.
Today, she had an ultrasound on those lumps. The hospital doctor looked at the findings and told us straight up: these aren't lipomas—they're metastases.
My dad and I are in total shock. We don't know what to do next. They are scheduled to perform a biopsy on the lumps. Does anyone have any insight into what the prognosis might look like or if there is any hope?
Kenneth Bailey27 Kenneth Bailey27 Newcomer
4 messages
joined Jun 2018
#2894 ·
neoncyclist792 said:What's the move when imaging looks like a lizard cancer, three doctors all agree everything is enlarged, yet the third biopsy comes back negative while everything stays stagnant and they just keep repeating the biopsies?

Which specific scans were done, and where exactly are they worried it might have spread? Has an oncologist actually reviewed these results yet? I’m a bit lost—you mentioned a third biopsy, but did they puncture the exact same spots three times, or what? It’s tough to offer any real insight right now without waiting for the pathology report. You can't really start a treatment plan until the pathology gives you a definitive answer.

neoncyclist792 said:Could someone help me make sense of this pathology report? This isn't about the previous case; it's for my dad.
Papillary urothelial carcinoma of the urinary bladder
Histological type: Urothelial carcinoma
Histological grade: High grade
Tumor architecture: Papillary formations
Microscopic extension: Lamina propria infiltrated by the tumor
Muscle tissue: No tumor involvement
Organized urothelium
Transurethral resection performed, one 20mm lesion and one small lesion
Follow-up and surgery scheduled for July 16th
What should we be expecting?

We're looking at bladder cancer that's classified as high grade, which essentially means it's quite aggressive. Based on the report, there doesn't seem to be any sign of metastasis, which is a very good sign.
Rachel Williams Rachel Williams Member
10 messages
joined Apr 2017
#2895 ·
amberseal said:Hi everyone. My mom (64) ended up in the hospital the other day because of some chest pain. An ultrasound showed a 3mm infiltrate on her spleen.
She had seen a doctor previously about a cough, but the chest X-ray came back clear.
About three months ago, some walnut-sized lumps started appearing on her torso. Her doctor insists they're just lipomas and is referring her to a dermatologist. She’s been under their care since 2020.
Today, she had an ultrasound on those lumps. The doctor at the hospital looked at the info and said they aren't lipomas—they're metastases.
What happens now? What are the next steps? My dad and I are in total shock. They’re going to perform a biopsy on the lumps. Is there any hope left? What are the prognoses?

Uh... honestly, the best thing to do is wait for the results. But, based on my own experience with my mother and her lumps (in her case, they were discovered to be metastatic breast cancer after several months, even though she was being monitored for lung cancer), this doesn't sound particularly good... They will likely send her for a PET scan to get a full picture of the situation and see where else the metastases might be.
I am wishing you all a lot of strength for whatever comes next, regardless of what the results show.
Ashley Robinson3 Ashley Robinson3 Newcomer
2 messages
joined Feb 2022
#2896 ·
neoncyclist792 said:Could someone help me make sense of this pathology report? It’s unrelated to the previous thread; this is about my dad.
Papillary urothelial carcinoma of the urinary bladder
Histological type: urothelial carcinoma
Histological grade: high grade
Tumor structure: papillary formations
Microscopic extension: tumor infiltrating the lamina propria
Muscle tissue: no tumor present
Organized urothelium
Transurethral resection performed, one 20mm lesion and one small lesion
Follow-up surgery scheduled for July 16th
What should we expect?

My mother-in-law dealt with this exact kind of cancer. When she first got sick, we hadn't even met yet, so I only know the details from later conversations. She had surgery and went through some BCG therapy, which really took a toll on her heart and caused quite a few side effects, though it kept the primary disease under control for a while. About eight years later—by then I was already part of the family—the disease recurred. At first, they just operated on the tumor and removed a kidney, but then it kept coming back every few months. Eventually, in 2015, she ended up having a massive surgery where they removed her bladder, uterus, ovaries, spleen... honestly, I'm not sure if anything else was taken. Her abdominal cavity was left almost empty. She wasn't receiving any active treatment after that, just regular check-ups. She did have a permanent urostomy, which she managed quite well, but she struggled with frequent urinary tract infections (or whatever was left of the system—I'm not a doctor, so I don't know all the specifics). Over a year ago, she started feeling really unwell and lost her appetite. My husband finally managed to convince her to go to the ER, where they found fluid in her lungs and suggested a bronchoscopy. She refused, though. She figured it was metastases and decided she didn't want more treatment; she just wanted to pass away at home. She was over 80 and worked in medicine, so she knew exactly what was happening. Eventually, we started suspecting brain metastases too because of some strange behavior, though nothing was officially proven since she stopped going for exams and only treated symptoms. She slept more and more until she fell into a coma in early August and passed away three days later.
From what I gathered, this specific cancer is incredibly aggressive and tends to come back frequently. They keep operating as long as there is something left to remove, but once it metastasizes, there isn't much left to do.
Still, after that initial diagnosis, she lived for 13 years. For about five or six of those, she was doing pretty well, aside from the issues caused by the treatments.
neoncyclist792 neoncyclist792 Member
12 messages
joined Mar 2021
#2897 ·
Taylor Swift, Ashley Robinson3, thanks for getting back to me. We’re waiting until the 18th here, hoping we finally get an oncologist assigned. Maybe then things will start making sense. Ashley, I really appreciate that detailed breakdown you gave. In my head, I had pictured a totally different scenario playing out, but unfortunately, I know there are no rules when you're dealing with stuff like this. Alright, time to gear up and fight.
Hannah Reed3 Hannah Reed3 Member
22 messages
joined Mar 2012
#2898 ·
neoncyclist792, I'm sorry you have to get dragged into this fight, but someone has to step up. This guy thrives on our fear and helplessness.
You might want to check out some of the discussions over at http://rak-nije-mrak.proboards.com/
There's actually a lot of useful info there if you look.
amberseal amberseal Newcomer
2 messages
joined Jul 2018
#2899 ·
Many thanks, Ariana Grande, this waiting game is absolutely brutal
Ashley Robinson3 Ashley Robinson3 Newcomer
2 messages
joined Feb 2022
#2900 ·
neoncyclist792 said:Taylor Swift, Ashley Robinson3, thank you both for the replies. We're waiting until the 18th for that appointment, so hopefully we'll finally get an oncologist and some actual answers. Ashley, thanks for being so detailed. I had pictured a different scenario in my head, but I know there aren't really rules when dealing with stuff like this. Alright, time to gear up and fight.

Don't mention it! I’m just sharing what we went through, but remember that everyone is different and reacts in their own way. You definitely have a fight ahead of you, but sometimes these things settle down so you can live with them like a chronic condition rather than something immediate. My aunt lived for 13 years, which isn't exactly a short time given her diagnosis. Plus, who knows? Maybe some smart new drug for this specific cancer will come out in the meantime that Dad responds really well to.
One thing I know for sure—and it's medically proven—is how much smoking affects this type of cancer. I don't know if Dad smokes, but if he does, he needs to quit right now. My aunt was a smoker (about a pack a day), and she just couldn't let go of the habit. So, I really believe that played a role in her journey.
At the end of the day, there are no guarantees. Cancer is aggressive, and you never know when or where it might pop up again. But then again, you never know if you'll even make it home safe from work after some idiot drives into you, right? So, it's worth living and worth fighting. Good luck!!!

You must log in or register to reply here.

Log in Register

🔗 Similar threads