Support for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses (Part II)

Hey everyone! Does anyone know if there are any nonprofits in Miami that offer psychological support for cancer patients? Or even just some general support groups in the area?

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Amanda Perez42 said:Hello everyone. Does anyone know if there are any organizations in Miami that offer psychological support for cancer patients? Or perhaps just a general support group of some kind?

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You can find a directory of patient advocacy groups right here on St, including several specifically focused on oncology. It might be worth reaching out to them to see what resources they have available. Additionally, some people find solace through various forms of spiritual therapy—perhaps that could provide some mental relief as well? Best of luck.

Thanks so much

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Does it even make sense to go looking for a second opinion when the doctors have already pulled the plug on active treatment and sent him home for palliative care? My dad’s been through the ringer—first surgery was about 15 years ago, then another one roughly two and a half years back. It started around the oral cavity and sinuses, then moved to his thyroid and larynx. Now, he’s dealing with lung cancer that’s spread, plus this nasty, purulent discharge he's coughing up. He did get some IV antibiotics, which actually helped a bit—the amount of phlegm has decreased slightly. The first lung lesion showed up around November 2017, but by the follow-up CT in April 2018, it had grown aggressively and metastasized to two spots in the lungs. He had radiation after both surgeries, but now, after the oncology board meeting in June, they told us there's nothing more they can do, especially given how he is—and that was before the antibiotics kicked in. Is there any point in seeking further help, and if so, where? He’s been treated at the local VA hospital all these years and went to the Mayo Clinic for radiation. Please, tell me something... I'm just feeling completely lost.

steelgardener23 said:Is there any point in seeking a second opinion if doctors have already ruled out all treatment options and sent him home for palliative care? My father had his first surgery 15 years ago, then another 2.5 years ago. It started with the oral cavity, sinuses, then the thyroid and larynx. Now he has lung cancer with metastases and is coughing up purulent discharge; he was given IV antibiotics and felt slightly better—the amount of pus has decreased. The first lung lesion was found in November 2017, but according to a follow-up CT from April 2018, it grew aggressively and metastasized to two spots in the lungs. He underwent radiation twice after the surgeries, but now, during the oncology board meeting in June, they told us there's no sense in doing anything else, especially given his current state. That was before he received the antibiotics. Is it worth reaching out to someone else, and if so, where? All these years he’s been treated at a local suburb hospital and did his radiation over in another suburb. Please, tell me something, I'm desperate!

You ALWAYS need to seek a second opinion! I know plenty of cases where people were told the exact same thing, only to seek a second opinion outside the local system—like going to the Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Houston—and discovered five different treatment paths that were actually viable. Around here, palliative care is reduced to nothing more than pain management in 90% of cases. Abroad, they provide medications and supportive therapies that can actually slow down the progression of the disease and give a person more quality time.

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Where am I even supposed to post this? Who do I talk to? Honestly, I’m just feeling completely overwhelmed—we’ve been dealing with all of this for so long now, constantly worrying about every little thing, and I’ve reached that point where I just don't know where to turn or how to handle it anymore.

Where in America can I turn for help? I’m completely tapped out—no money left to my name. It’s been going on for so long now, and honestly, we’re just exhausted... drained in every possible way.

I stumbled upon this thread and spent some time reading. I work in the medical field, and my father passed away just four months ago from pancreatic cancer—specifically the uncinate process of the pancreatic head, which is probably the most insidious and aggressive form out there. It had already metastasized to his lungs and liver. From the initial diagnosis to his passing, it was only two months. My mother held onto hope, but as a professional, I knew the end was near. He suffered through those last two or three weeks. I managed to scale back my business and family commitments to spend every spare moment by his side. If he had just suffered a sudden heart attack, it would have been better for him. If you have a family member with metastases and inoperable tumors, stay close to them. Spend that time. No matter how much time you spend, you will always be haunted by the feeling that it wasn't enough. You'll constantly question if you did enough. Stop relying on forums; they won't make you any smarter. Cancer is a curse that hits every family differently. There is no universal way to fight it, and you won't find that solution here. This leads to my next point: get a psychiatrist. There is no shame in it. You should insist the patient sees a specialist—even if you have to use a white lie about it being hospital protocol. Most major hospitals, like the Mayo Clinic, have psychologists specifically trained to handle terminal illness. It is devastating if a patient attempts suicide or, heaven forbid, succeeds. In my opinion—medical background aside—alternative treatments can be far more effective than conventional medicine. The massive problem is the sheer volume of options out there, and Big Pharma has worked hard to ensure they don't become mainstream. Plus, not every alternative works for every tumor, and many methods act too slowly. These patients simply don't have time. Forget the internet and focus on being present. Respect their decisions. When a person mentally gives up, the tumor often accelerates; they know this subconsciously, and it’s part of their surrender. As loved ones, our job is to delay that moment as long as possible, but we can't force it if it's not meant to be. Here are a few thoughts for everyone searching for answers here. They might be different, perhaps even impractical, because every cancer is unique to the individual. Families learn through their own experiences. Personally, I hated all the unsolicited advice regarding treatment plans—what, how, and where to treat. If the patient wants to fight, then fight. If they don't, "live and let die."

My husband passed away three weeks ago after fighting a really tough battle with small cell lung cancer 😢
He was first diagnosed back in September 2017. He went through six rounds of chemo, which actually helped shrink the tumor a little bit, and things seemed pretty stable by late April, but then just when he was supposed to start radiation, everything took a turn for the worse 😢
His head CT scan came back clear, and he stayed so incredibly aware of everything around him until the very end, though during those last few days, he reached a point where he couldn't even speak or swallow a tiny sip of water. They told me things were going to be difficult, but I guess I never truly realized just how hard it would actually be.
I stayed right by his side until his very last breath, and I honestly know that being there meant the world to him.

Rest in peace, my love...

My deepest condolences, Joshua Kim69. I hope you can find some small measure of peace in knowing they aren't suffering anymore; let's be honest, it was an incredibly difficult road for everyone involved.

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Rachel Williams said:I am so incredibly sorry, Joshua Kim69. I really hope you can find some peace in knowing that they aren't suffering anymore, because honestly, everything they went through was just so much to bear.

Yeah, it was just so, so hard... and even though I know deep down that they're finally at peace now, it still just hurts so much, I guess. 😢

Joshua Kim69 said:My husband lost his fight with small cell lung cancer just three weeks ago.😢
He was diagnosed back in September 2017. He went through six rounds of chemo, which actually shrank the tumor a bit. By late April, things seemed stable, but then—right when he was supposed to start radiation—everything took a turn for the worse.😢
The head CT came back clear, and he was lucid until the very end, though in those final days, he couldn't speak or even swallow a drop of water. They warned me it would be hard, but I never could have imagined just how devastatingly difficult it would be.
I stayed by his side until his very last breath... I know it meant everything to him.

Rest in peace, my love...

I am so sorry, Joshua Kim69... welcome to a club that nobody ever wants to join. Sending you a huge hug. I know exactly how this feels...

Kimberly Taylor92 said:Thanks. I don't mind being public about this. I'm mostly interested in the treatment methods used, the specific type of therapy, where she received care, and if there was a successful recovery.
It’s my mother we’re talking about. The first symptoms cropped up in December, and by mid-February, we had a diagnosis: malignant pleural mesothelioma.
We went from those initial optimistic projections to a point where today, none of the doctors seem to have a viable solution left.
She completed four rounds of chemotherapy and was supposed to undergo surgery here in San Francisco, but a pulmonary embolism hit between the third and fourth round, which just made everything infinitely more complicated. The chemo didn't yield any real results, and now they’re refusing to operate.
She’s seeing specialists in New York that we’ve been in contact with, but they won't perform the surgery right now because she’s simply too weak, and she needs to recover—but time isn't exactly on our side...
So, naturally, we are looking for any remaining possibilities or anyone who might have gone through something similar.
Thanks again for the help.

Best, if you want to reach out, just send me a private message and I can walk you through what we've experienced.

I’ve been following this forum for months, and I finally decided it was time to reach out.
Back in February, my 61-year-old mother was diagnosed with advanced colon cancer that had already spread to her liver. She finished a round of chemo in June, at which point she was ready to let go during the summer. Things seemed to stabilize briefly, but she began declining rapidly once fluid started building up in her abdomen. We had the ascites treated with a puncture last week, but since then, she hasn't eaten. She mostly just sleeps, barely communicates, and seems to be in a constant state of confusion. Because her overall condition is so poor, the doctors turned us away from further chemotherapy and referred us to palliative care instead.
I feel lost. I keep offering her food, but she refuses everything; I just sit there watching her waste away.
Is there any way to support her strength through an IV?

vividsurfer20 said:I’ve been lurking here for months—just reading everything—but I finally decided I had to say something.
My 61-year-old mom was diagnosed back in February with advanced colon cancer that had already spread to her liver. She finished a round of chemo in June and, honestly, we thought she wasn't going to make it through the summer. Things seemed to stabilize for a bit, but then she started declining fast once fluid began building up in her abdomen. We had her ascites drained via puncture last week, but since then, she just won't eat. She's mostly sleeping, barely talking, and seems pretty out of it. They actually turned her down for the next round of chemo because she's just too weak—they're pointing us toward palliative care instead.
I'm at a loss—I keep trying to offer her food, but she turns it away. It’s heartbreaking just watching her waste away.
Is there any way to give her some kind of IV nutrition to boost her strength?

Maybe talk to the anesthesiologist about parenteral nutrition—I know places like the Mayo Clinic have options to help patients in this exact situation.

Joshua Kim69 said:Yeah, it was incredibly, incredibly hard. I know he was saved, but still—it hurts. It just hurts.😢

Please accept my deepest and most sincere condolences. I truly hope you find some peace of mind, and eventually, the strength to lay him to rest in peace. Things will never be the same again, but life has a way of pulling you through; you'll come out on the other side much stronger and much more resilient than before.
Hang in there.

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Angela Wright said:Honey, please accept my deepest and most heartfelt condolences. I really just want you to find some peace in your heart and be able to lay them to rest in peace. I know things will never feel quite the same again, but I truly believe life finds a way to settle itself eventually, and you'll find yourself moving forward feeling so much stronger and braver than before.
Hang in there

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Thanks so much, dear. 🙂

I was posting a bit ago about my mom's battle with pleural mesothelioma... Sadly, she passed away last Wednesday after things just took a sudden, sharp turn for the worse and there wasn't anything left for the doctors to do.

Kimberly Taylor92 said:I posted a little while back about my mother’s battle with pleural mesothelioma. Sadly, she passed away last Wednesday after things took a sudden, sharp turn for the worse, and there just wasn't anything left for the doctors to do.

I am so incredibly sorry. Please accept my deepest condolences.

Kimberly Taylor92 said:I posted a little while ago about my mom fighting pleural mesothelioma. Sadly, she passed away last Wednesday after things took a sudden turn for the worse and there just wasn't anything left to be done.

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss!