Support for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses (Part II)

hollowridge88, honey, I really hope the Almighty shows you some mercy too... I am truly sorry you're going through such an ordeal 😢 Just stay by her side, calm her down, and tell her everything is going to be okay... Hang in there, dear 🙂

Things are getting really tough lately; I haven't had a decent night's sleep in three weeks, and if I can manage even a quick thirty-minute nap during the day, I consider it a win... I feel like I'm at my breaking point because there is just too much happening around me to handle this normally. I spend every single day alone with my mother, and she needs him by her side 24/7... I've been separated from my husband for a year now, and it feels like my own life has just completely stalled. I haven't even seen my child in a month because I sent them to stay with my mother-in-law so they wouldn't have to witness any of this... yet it feels like nobody wants to step up and help me... I wish my mother-in-law would just show up when she's needed, especially when I see how my mom is acting toward me... it truly breaks my heart.

hollowridge88 said:It’s getting unbearable. I haven't slept properly in three weeks—not day or night. If I manage to catch a thirty-minute nap during the day, I feel like I've won the lottery. I just can't do this anymore; there is way too much happening around me to process this normally. I am alone with my mother every single day, and she needs him 24/7... I've been separated from my husband for a year now, and I feel like my own life has just been extinguished. I haven't even seen my child for a month because I sent them to stay with my mother-in-law so they wouldn't have to witness any of this... and yet, nobody wants to help me... if only my in-laws would step up in time. On top of that, seeing how my mom is acting toward me... it just breaks my heart.

Honey, please hang in there just a little longer... I know that doesn't help much right now, but you have a whole life ahead of you where you'll be able to walk with a clear conscience without blaming yourself for anything, and believe me, that is a massive blessing. The weight of a guilty conscience is far heavier and worse than anything you are feeling at this moment. You have a ticket to Paradise, of that you can be absolutely certain.
I don't know exactly where you are located, but call them anyway and ask for advice, if nothing else. You shouldn't have to go through what you're facing all by yourself. They have volunteers who could sit with your mom for an hour or two just so you can get some sleep. God knows you are giving everything you possibly can. Maybe even call 911; they will assess the situation and might hospitalize your mother just to give you a break. You can't keep going like this, or you're going to collapse, and then what happens? Call emergency services and tell them about the dark thoughts... 😢
I know it feels like this has been dragging on forever, but believe me, it really is just a matter of days. I am honestly surprised how long your mother has been enduring this.

hollowridge88, I'm so sorry, but you're gonna pull through this... you've got this...

hollowridge88, I am so incredibly sorry about your mother and everything you all are going through right now. I have a quick question if anyone might know... my dad was scheduled for a PET CT at Mayo Clinic because of kidney carcinoma, and I was wondering how long they usually take to get the results back?

silentjackal12 said:hollowridge88, I am so sorry about your mother and everything you're going through right now. Just one question if anyone knows... my dad was scheduled for a PET CT at the Mayo Clinic because of kidney carcinoma, and I'm wondering how long they usually take to get the results back?

In our experience, the results were typically ready within 4 to 5 days.

hollowridge88, how's everything looking?

hollowridge88 hasn't checked in, clearly not doing too great...

I’ve been checking this thread for a few days now, and I find myself facing the same situation with my father, who is nearing the end.

My dad has fought an incredible battle to reach 74. He’s been a paraplegic for 22 years, 100% disabled, had his right kidney removed three years ago, and deals with all the typical complications like pressure sores and constant pain. Three years ago, a CT scan found a tiny 3mm meningioma, which we thought was benign since most of them are. Well, looking at today's CT, things have changed: the tumor grew to 7cm, crushed the surrounding tissue, and caused massive edema. Dad can't speak, can't swallow, and struggles to breathe because of the congestion. Thankfully, he isn't in pain since he's on Tramadol, plus he's taking Phenobarbital for seizures and restlessness.

He’s a heavy man, and honestly—as much as it hurts to say—I hope this doesn't last too long. The tumor can't be operated on because he's just too weak to survive general anesthesia.

We’re doing everything we can to make him comfortable, and I’m just praying that God helps him pass soon so he won't have to suffer anymore.

I just got home from the hospital after spending eight hours on tests and consultations. I’m feeling pretty medicated on anxiolytics, and thinking of you all makes things a little easier.

May God help us all get through these traumas.

We aren't giving up. 🙂

We’re heading in tomorrow to see the oncologist to go over the results and map out the next steps for treatment.
From what the doctor told me, radiation seems to be the only real option left for my father-in-law, so we’ll just have to see how that plays out.
For the moment, things seem stable. He’s taking Beta Glucan and some Native propolis, and his appetite is back to normal. My mother-in-law says he’s actually looking more animated—eating well, staying active... I just really hope this momentum lasts.

Fiz, honestly... I don't hold much hope for a total cure, but if we're talking about squeezing out a few more years of high-quality life? I truly believe there's a shot there... and at the same time, I know the Almighty is all-powerful... it'll be okay.

Michelle Kelly4 said:hollowridge88, how are things looking?

Hey everyone... I honestly don't even know where to start with this. On Thursday, Mom started vomiting this black fluid, and after that, it turned into what looked like blood clots. Then, out of nowhere yesterday, she had a massive nosebleed. We almost lost her on Friday because she couldn't catch her breath at all; we rushed to get her sitting up and waited for the paramedics, who ended up giving her Medrol and Tramadol... Right now, she's in excruciating pain, especially when she has bowel movements, which look like this dark brown mucus. She’s been dealing with intense abdominal pain since yesterday, too... I just don't know what to make of it. I'm assuming that black fluid and the blood mean there's some kind of internal bleeding going on, though I'm not sure about the stomach issues. She hasn't eaten in two weeks, and she's only sipping maybe two glasses of water a day. Her heart rate is constantly racing above 130. She’s always needing to run to the bathroom, and since she isn't at home, we're just trying to push through, though I have no idea how much longer we can hold on... Her legs are swollen from her feet all the way up past her knees, and they look so thin, almost like the skin is paper-thin. It's like she's lost all sensation from her knees down because her legs just collapse; they don't seem to hold any weight at all. I suspect her blood count is so low that her heart is working overtime. Her knuckles are darkening, her skin is peeling off in patches, her eyes are sunken, and she’s basically nothing but skin and bones at maybe 60 pounds. She even has sores on her backside where the bone is showing... Honestly, what can I even say? It is such a horrific, senseless struggle. My heart breaks seeing her suffer like this... she keeps pleading with me to help her, but I feel so helpless when even the injections aren't working anymore.

Azab's kidneys are failing. Once that swelling and fluid reaches her lungs and heart, it's going to be the end..

It is truly devastating to see everyone struggling like this. She’s asking them to add morphine to her pain management protocol.
I am praying for you all 🙂

Angela Wright said:Azab's kidneys are starting to fail. Once that swelling—that fluid buildup—reaches her lungs and heart, it’s going to be the end..

It is truly heartbreaking to see how much everyone is struggling right now. She is asking them to add morphine to her pain management protocol.
I am keeping you all in my prayers 🙂

It's actually quite interesting that once the swelling in her feet finally subsides, there's still just that persistent edema left around the ankles... We've been steadily increasing the morphine dose over the last ten months; we started at 50, then moved to 75, then 100, then 112.5, then 125, and now we're at 150... we just keep ramping it up. On top of that, we have those Heptanon drops, but Mom can't swallow them, so we haven't been able to apply them... for the time being, we're just relying on the morphine and the injections, which don't seem to be doing much anymore either....

hollowridge88, hang in there! 🙂 🙂

Richard Sanders7 said:hollowridge88, hang in there! 🙂 🙂

Thanks... oh, Mom just mentioned she actually wants some hot dogs after two weeks of refusing them, so I'm cooking them up now, and we'll see if this was just another little lapse in memory or if she'll actually eat them...

So we gave it a shot, but nothing really came of it... she managed to sip about 5 ml of the nutritional drink

Good morning, everyone... how are you all doing today? It’s such a gloomy morning here, which has left me feeling a bit down and sleep-deprived too. Mom was coughing through the entire night, and her thighs and stomach are bothering her again; plus, we're dealing with those issues with her bowel movements, almost as if she couldn't process that 5 ml nutritional drink. She’s also developed this specific scent that I'm finding a bit difficult to deal with. I hope you all have a wonderful and peaceful day.

hollowridge88 said:Morning, everyone... how are you all doing? It’s gloomy here today, so I’m feeling just as gray and sleep-deprived. Mom was coughing all night, her thighs and stomach are hurting, and we’re dealing with those bowel issues again—it’s almost like she’s trying to purge that 5 ml nutrient drink. She’s also developed this specific odor that’s really unpleasant for me to be around. Wishing you all a peaceful and pleasant day.

Oh honey, I didn't want to bring this up earlier... all that dark discharge, the bleeding, the smell... it's just what happens, you know? When organs are compromised by cancer, they start to break down.... people often describe that scent as smelling like damp earth or decay... I haven't experienced it personally, but my grandmother used to tell me about it... oh my God, why does there have to be so much agony and suffering? 😢 I am sending you all the strength in the world... I know every single second of this struggle feels like too much, but honestly, it just can't go on much longer at this stage. I hope someone has been able to step in and help you out by now.

I know this is it. I’m just so tired of watching everything unfold, constantly swinging between feeling angry and feeling heartbroken. Honestly, I'm just exhausted.