Support for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses (Part II)

I can't help but wonder what all this agony and suffering is actually for! I just don't see any logical reason behind it. My mom was completely devastated by it, and honestly, I feel totally destroyed too. What else is there? And what happens when I face a cancer diagnosis in a few years... since I basically have a 99% genetic predisposition given how I live my life. I'm practically the ideal candidate.

hollowridge88 said:I just wonder—what’s the point of all this agony and suffering?! I don't see a single logical reason for it. My mom was destroyed. I am destroyed. What else is left?! And what happens when I end up with cancer in a few years... since I have a 99% genetic chance and I live the way I do. I'm the perfect candidate.

Don't go down that rabbit hole right now...😢 Look, we all carry these cells inside us and we all have a shot at getting sick. Genetic predisposition is one thing, but triggers are something else entirely... it doesn't have to happen.

I don't know if you guys are religious, but if you are, maybe consider an anointing with holy oil if you haven't already... it meant everything to my mom, and she passed away in peace.

Angela Wright said:Zachary Howard2, honestly... I don't hold much hope for a full cure, but if he can just manage to live through a few more high-quality years, I truly believe there's a chance for that... and I also know that God is Almighty... it will be for the best.

We were at the oncologist today. They held a consultation, and apparently, further treatment isn't an option—just regular check-ups with whatever imaging they decide on. They mentioned that if it had been adenocarcinoma, it would have been everything, but with the squamous cell carcinoma, it’s different.

I know a cure isn't on the table, but as for staying stable like this for a few years? I'd bet on it.
He looks good, he's holding up well, eating, and taking everything they give him.

We'll just have to see how things unfold from here. He's heading in for lung scans the day after tomorrow, and on October 2nd, he has a follow-up with the surgeon.

Angela Wright said:Don't dwell on that right now...😢 We all carry these things within us and everyone has a chance of getting sick. Genetic predisposition plays a role more or less, but triggers can be something else entirely... it doesn't always have to happen.

I'm not sure if you all are people of faith, but if you are, perhaps consider having the Anointing of the Sick if you haven't already... it meant so much to my mom, and she passed away so peacefully.

Our priest was there, and she did receive the Anointing of the Sick.

Good morning! We're facing another little hurdle here; Mom's feet have gone completely numb, and she's feeling incredibly cold. She currently has three layers on, but even with two blankets tucked around her, she just can't seem to get warm enough.

hollowridge88 said:Morning. We're facing another issue here; Mom's feet have gone cold and she’s freezing. Right now, her toes are turning blue—two of them are deep purple and she's feeling incredibly cold.

Her circulation is failing. 😢 My late aunt had blue feet and started turning blue just a day before she passed away. During the day, she slipped into a comatose state and that was it. Her breathing just got shallower and shallower until she finally gave out... hang in there, dear. div>

My mom has blue feet and ankles near her knees... that area feels so cold to the touch... she just had another choking episode, and she's been vomiting and coughing heavily since this morning, though she doesn't even have the strength to cough properly... When she does cough or vomit, she has to yawn really deeply... why is that happening?

hollowridge88

Reading this is honestly just so heartbreaking.... I decided to stick around this thread with all of you after my friend passed away.
I mean, I truly don't even have the words for how much you all are struggling and hurting, and I guess it’s just incredible how you've managed to find strength when you're pushed past every possible limit... and seeing how much mothers have to suffer is just even more devastating, because I really don't think anyone should ever have to go through that.

I'll be praying that God gives you all the strength you need to get through to the end.....😢

Zachary Howard2.. wishing you nothing but the very best.

I’m honestly feeling pretty scared right now. Mom has been having these shortness of breath episodes since this morning that last a minute or two, and the coughing is just brutal—she’s turning pale and yellowish. It feels like such an agonizing struggle to watch. I feel so terribly for your friend; I don't really know what to say other than that I'm terrified, because I am truly frightened of this disease.

hollowridge88 said:I’m honestly just terrified of everything right now. My mom has been having these breathing fits since this morning that last a minute or two, and then this cough just absolutely wipes her out, making her look all pale and yellowish. It really feels like such an agonizing struggle. I feel so incredibly bad for your friend, too; I don't even know what to say other than that I'm just scared, I am truly frightened of this disease.

I totally get it, especially since you were right there seeing exactly what she was going through... I wasn't by my friend's side until the very end, but I know how much she suffered... she ended up passing away after seven days once things took a turn for the worse... she fell into a coma... and I have to admit, I am REALLY scared of this illness too....

But I guess we just have to keep moving forward and try not to dwell on her constantly... if we don't, it might just paralyze us, you know?

Maybe try to get a little rest if you can.. maybe step outside for some fresh air for a few minutes... just try to gather enough strength to keep going.🙂

hollowridge88 said:My mom has blue feet, her ankles, and her hands... that area feels freezing to the touch. She just had another choking episode, too. She's been vomiting since this morning and has this heavy cough, but she doesn't even have the strength to actually cough. When she tries to cough or vomit, she starts gasping for air like she can't catch it. Why is that?

She’s running out of oxygen... man.😢

Good morning... here we are after a completely sleepless night. Mom is still coughing and vomiting, and she's struggling to catch her breath. I tried to change her diaper and refresh the gauze on her wound just now, but the second I moved her even a tiny bit, she started choking, vomiting green, and having such a hard time breathing...

I took some photos of her legs yesterday to show my sister... I was wondering if this is what Angela Wright's grandmother went through? The quality isn't great, but you can see it clearly...

(image)[/IMG]

I wouldn't know, honey, I wasn't right there by my aunt's side. I'm just passing along what I was told about her experience. A relative actually asked me if it was the same way it was with my mother. It wasn't quite like that for her, though—she actually choked on some grits because her swallowing reflex had completely failed her. I honestly think she might have had a pulmonary embolism, too... God, where does someone even find the strength to fight through that? Poor thing, my heart just breaks for her. To me, that's the absolute worst part—that total loss of human dignity. That specific biological breakdown just doesn't make sense to me...😢

hollowridge88 said:I'm aware of it, unfortunately, but honestly, I just don't want to face it deep down. Every single morning, I wake up and pray to the Almighty just to see that she opened her eyes... then I brew some coffee and sit right there next to her, sipping it together even though she can't drink any...

😢

Hang in there! 😢

I'm right there with you; I'm honestly so curious about that part too. My mom had doctors and home health nurses visit, and they tried everything to check her blood pressure and pulse, but they just couldn't get anything. They were checking her wrists and neck, searching for any sign of a heartbeat, but it was just too weak to detect. They eventually told me it was happening and that I should prepare myself because time was running out. Now my mom is gone, moving on to a better place—a world without pain—leaving us behind. God, it's just so hard; I always thought I was strong, but I guess I'm not. I just can't handle this. I'm really not doing okay.

Joshua Moore said:😢

Hang in there! 😢

I'm hanging in there, though I might just be biting onto thin air at this point.

hollowridge88
🙂

I guess I’ll just take everything you said with a grain of salt, maybe
...but hey, a mother is a mother, right?

hollowridge88 said:I’m in the same boat, and believe me, I’m desperate to understand that part too. My mom had doctors and home health nurses come by, trying to check her blood pressure and pulse, but they just couldn't get anything. They were checking her wrists and her neck, feeling for a heartbeat, but it was just too weak for them to detect. They basically told me, "This is it, get ready, because time is running out." Now my mom is gone, heading off to a better place—a world without pain—leaving us behind. God, it hurts so much. I always thought I was strong, but I guess I’m not. I just can't handle this. I'm not doing okay.

😢 My heart breaks for you, dear... I truly hope you find some peace in your heart, and that she finds her eternal rest and tranquility. 🙂

Angela Wright said:😢 I feel so incredibly sorry for you, dear... I truly hope you find peace in your heart, and that she finds her own eternal peace and rest. 🙂

I really hope that after everything is said and done, I’ll be able to find some peace; I think I'll feel a little better knowing that when I finally come to myself, I can look back and say I truly gave it my absolute all. Thank you so much for everything—for the talks, the support, the explanations, and for being so patient with both me and my mom.

My father-in-law's lung scans aren't looking great, at least based on my layman's interpretation of the report and the images themselves.
I'll try to transcribe the full findings later.
The report mentions shadowing on the right side of the lung, FC sinus involvement, and infiltrates. Could these be metastases?

@hollowridge88/">@@hollowridge88, I am so incredibly sorry that your mother is suffering this much alongside you. It's hard enough to read about it, let alone imagine what you're actually going through. Hang in there.