Support for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses (Part II)

hollowridge88, please accept my sincere condolences. Your mother is now with the Almighty, resting in His peace, and you have proven just how strong and resilient you truly are.

I’ve never actually posted anything here before, though I find myself lurking occasionally because my own father passed away from lung cancer many years ago.

hollowridge88, please accept my most sincere condolences; your mother is in a better place now, free from all her suffering. 😢

hollowridge88 is my true soulmate

I spent some time lying in bed today, and when I finally got up, I wandered into her room hoping to find her tucked away under the covers, just so I could sit in the chair beside her with a cup of coffee and watch her sleep. But she isn't there. She isn't sleeping, and she isn't resting. The bed is empty. The candle is burning, but coffee just doesn't feel like coffee without her here. It’s so quiet, and she isn't calling out to me. I miss her so much. Thank you all, and I wish everyone nothing but the very best.

hollowridge88, please accept my deepest condolences 🙂

I've been following along this whole time, but I haven't said anything because everything you’ve been going through is still so raw—my own dad passed away less than two months ago. I don't really have much smart to say that hasn't already been said. Just honor your mom and keep your head up. You're a great person!

hollowridge88 said:I was lying in bed, then I got up and walked into her room, hoping to find her asleep there—just so I could sit in the chair beside her, sip some coffee, and watch her sleep. But she isn't there. She isn't sleeping. She isn't resting. The bed is empty. The candle is burning, but the coffee just doesn't taste like coffee without her. There is only silence, and it isn't calling my name. I miss her. Thank you all, and I wish everyone the very best.

My deepest, most sincere condolences, hollowridge88 😢.
Your mother has finally been released from her suffering and has found peace. She will be watching over you and staying by your side from above.

Here is my father-in-law's radiology report:

On the two-projection thoracic imaging, there is an inhomogeneous shadowing with poorly defined borders located in the right basal area and the middle lung field; on the posterior view, this corresponds to an infiltrate.
The remaining lung fields show increased translucency.
The right dome is irregularly shaped with ill-defined borders in the lateral portion, accompanied by obscuration of the FC sinus, whereas the left diaphragm is normally positioned and retracted, with the corresponding FC sinus being clear.
The cardiac shadow is slightly enlarged overall, primarily due to the left ventricle, with satisfactory tone.
The Aorta shows lamellar sclerosis in the arch.
Follow-up depends on the progression of the clinical picture; please bring previous scans for comparison.

I’ve compared this to his previous results, where everything was perfectly clear and normal.
If anyone could help me make sense of this, I would truly appreciate it, just so I know how to proceed.

You should forward those results directly to the doctor who ordered them.

hollowridge88 said:I was lying in bed, then I got up and went into her room hoping I’d find her sleeping there, so I could just sit in the chair beside her, drink my coffee, and watch her sleep. But she isn't there. She isn't sleeping. She isn't lying down. The bed is empty. The candle is burning, but coffee just isn't coffee without her. It's quiet; she isn't calling out to me. I miss her. Thank you all, and I wish everyone nothing but the best.

Honey, the coffee will never taste quite the same again, but every single time you sit down with a cup, you’ll be drinking it with her—talking to her in your heart... that's how it works for me, too.
Let her rest now. Give yourself permission to heal; focus on yourself, because you truly need to. You have navigated an incredibly heavy season of life and you're still standing. Now you know exactly how much strength you carry and just how much a person can endure—far more than anyone would ever dare to imagine. There won't be anything else in this life that weighs on you quite like this, something you can't shoulder. That realization is one small silver lining pulled from all this darkness, but it’s worth the whole world.
I wish the very best for you and your family as well.

Amanda Miller69 said:Here is my father-in-law's radiology report:

On the two-projection thoracic scans, there is an inhomogeneous shadowing with ill-defined borders in the right basal area and the middle lung field; on the posterior view, this corresponds to an infiltrate.
The remaining lung fields show increased translucency.
The right dome is irregularly shaped and poorly defined in the lateral portion, accompanied by a shadowed FC sinus, while the left diaphragm is normally positioned and reduced, with the corresponding FC sinus being clear.
The heart shadow is slightly enlarged overall, primarily due to the left ventricle, with satisfactory tone.
The Aorta shows lamellar sclerosis in the arch.
Follow-up depends on the clinical progression; please bring previous scans for comparison if necessary.

I compared this to his previous results where everything was clean and fine.
Could someone please explain what all this means so I know how to move forward?

Look, given all the different bacteria he's been fighting off, it's entirely possible he developed pneumonia, and those shadows are just from that—but they could also be metastases. His heart has weakened too (it's enlarged), which I assume is also a side effect of the medications and the infections... either way, if I were you, I’d take these results straight to both a surgeon and an oncologist. They'll probably send him for a chest ultrasound, and maybe an MRI if they think it's necessary.

Angela Wright said:Look, considering all the bacteria he's been battling, there’s a chance those shadows are just from pneumonia, though they could also be something else entirely. His heart has weakened too—it's enlarged—which I suspect is a side effect of the medications and the various infections. In any case, if I were in this position, I’d take those results straight to both a surgeon and an oncologist. They’ll likely order a thoracic ultrasound, and potentially an MRI if they feel it’s necessary.

The surgeon appointment is set for October 2nd. I’ll have to pull a few strings to find out what was actually said, because I know my father-in-law isn't going to volunteer any concrete details.
I've already sent a scanned copy of the report to the oncologist and am currently waiting to hear back.

To my dear online friends, thank you all so much for everything you've done for me during this incredibly difficult season. We laid Mom to rest yesterday. Now, all that's left is the silence of the walls, an empty house, a profound emptiness, and a grief so deep it's hard to put into words—just looking at her bed and catching her scent leaves such a void, knowing she's truly gone. I managed to make it through yesterday, but honestly, I have no idea how I'm going to navigate what comes next. With both Mom and Dad gone now, the world feels very different. Thank you all once again, and I wish every one of you nothing but the very best.

Hang in there, hollowridge88. I know the drill, trust me...

My father-in-law went in for his exam yesterday, and the doctor ordered some tumor markers. Today, I had the pleasure of hearing from the clinic's "lovely" receptionist that he was told his lung results look fine, and that we should just wait for the official opinion to arrive at our house via mail.
The marker came back at 3.04, while the reference range goes up to 3.3.

Now, I have to ask: how exactly can the lung findings be "fine" when the right side is shaded and there's a blocked FC sinus? (I already transcribed those specific details in one of my previous posts.)

It honestly feels like our healthcare system is completely falling apart.

Am I supposed to just sit here with my hands tied and wait for my father-in-law to pass away???

Amanda Miller69 said:My father-in-law had his exam yesterday, and the doctor sent him to get tumor markers checked. Today, I find out from the incredibly "helpful" clinic secretary that they told my father-in-law his lung results were fine and that we’d just receive the official opinion by mail.
The marker is at 3.04, which is within the normal range since the reference value goes up to 3.3.

So, how on earth can the lung results be "fine" when the right side is shadowed and the FC sinus is blocked? (I transcribed those exact findings in one of my previous posts)????

I honestly think our healthcare system is completely screwed.

What am I supposed to do, just sit here with my hands tied and wait for my father-in-law to kick the bucket???

It's obvious he had pneumonia when they pumped him full of antibiotics, and what you're seeing now is just scarring. I already told you.
Look, just grab the files and take them to a different private pulmonologist for a second opinion. There isn't any other way.🤷

Hey everyone, I was wondering how you all deal with losing someone close to you? How do you manage to function normally or just find a way to keep moving forward? I feel completely stuck right now, and I honestly don't know how to handle this loss—this indescribable pain, this overwhelming sadness, and this heavy pressure around my heart. I really don't know how to get through a single day, how to sleep, or how to find any sense of positivity... Please, if anyone has some advice, because right now I just can't see anything bright enough to hold onto so I can pull myself up again...

hollowridge88 said:Hey everyone, how are you all dealing with the loss of someone close to you? How do you manage to function normally? How do you just keep going? I feel completely stuck, and I honestly don't know what to do... I don't know how to handle this grief, this indescribable pain, or this heavy weight pressing down on my heart. I really don't know how to get through a single day, let alone sleep or try to think positively... Please, give me some advice, because right now, I can't find anything solid enough to hold onto so I can pull myself up...

Hang in there. Over at Psychologica, there's an open topic, where they've moved everyone who has lost someone here.

The CT scans through the bone window show hyperdense nodular shadows at the level of the 9th and 11th thoracic vertebrae—there's an 18mm one at the 11th Th vertebra and a 14mm one at the L4 segment. These are highly suspicious for osteoplastic metastatic changes.

Does this mean it has spread to the bones, or could it possibly be something else???

cosmiclynx14 said:The CT slices through the bone window show hyperdense nodular shadows at the level of the 9th and 11th thoracic vertebrae, an 18mm mass at the 11th thoracic vertebra, and a 14mm mass at the L4 segment, which are highly suspicious for osteoplastic metastatic changes.

Does this mean it spread to the bones, or could it honestly be something else???

We have to compare this against the previous scans. If there was nothing like this before, then we're likely looking at metastases. I don't want to be the one to burst anyone's bubble, but unfortunately, radiologists can usually tell what they're looking at with a pretty good degree of certainty. That being said, don't lose heart just yet. Bone metastases can actually respond quite well to radiation treatment if they haven't grown too massive.

Yeah, it was showing up on the first set of results, but back then they said it looked benign. Now, looking at this latest report, they’re using these heavy-hitting terms—"osteoplastic metastatic changes"—and honestly, it’s got me spiraling.
And then there's my dad, insisting the doctor said it’s nothing to worry about... I just don't get it.

Anyway, thanks. We'll just have to wait and see; we're sending all the records over to Germany.