Support for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses (Part II)

Emily Hayes said:Thanks. That clears things up a bit. We just got the referral for a CT scan. Honestly, I’m feeling pretty lost in all of this—which isn't like me at all, so it makes it even harder to deal with. 🙂
I've been reading that some machines are much higher quality than others and that using the better equipment really matters. This might sound like a silly question, but is a standard CT performed on the same machine used for a PET-CT? I read that the Mayo Clinic recently got a new PET-CT scanner, but I don't know if that actually helps me if their regular CT machine is still ten years old (like, with fewer slices or something).

A PET-CT is a compact, integrated unit that combines both a PET and a CT scanner into one, just like I mentioned before.
To be blunt, given how high those markers are and with that suspicious spot on the liver and that questionable lymph node, I’d personally push for the PET-CT. I don't quite get why anyone would opt for just a standard CT when it's going to struggle to uncover anything new... but hey, I'm no doctor. 🤷
Ask the doctor about the PET-CT and why it isn't being considered right now given the circumstances. It sucks that you can't just jump straight to a PET-CT if the CT doesn't show anything definitive, mostly because of the radiation dose involved. Just ask them straight out if they're trying to cut costs; if they are, look into paying for it privately yourselves.

Angela Wright said:A PET-CT is basically a compact machine that combines two scans—PET and CT—just like I mentioned earlier.
To be honest, looking at those high markers and that suspicious spot on the liver along with that questionable lymph node, if it were my call, I’d push for the PET-CT. I don't really get why anyone would settle for just a standard CT; it's much harder for that alone to catch anything new... but hey, I'm not a doctor, so 🤷
Ask the doctor about the PET-CT and specifically why it isn't an option right now given the uncertainty. It sucks because you can't just jump straight to a PET-CT immediately after a CT if the first one doesn't show anything concrete, mostly because of the radiation dose you've already taken. Ask them point-blank if the issue is cost; if it is, see if you can look into paying for it privately yourselves.

I think you might have mixed me up with someone else from a previous thread. 🙂 We actually just need to get our marker levels checked; the tumor was completely removed, and the initial results aren't showing any metastases in the surrounding tissue. Thank God for that. I haven't been pushing for a PET-CT because Smith told me it wouldn't make much sense to do one until a year after the surgery. Our social oncologist doesn't want to start any treatment until he has fresh results, so right now we're just stuck in this loop of trying to schedule all these scans and getting everything else lined up.

I have one more question. I noticed everyone here keeps recommending Avastin and Erbitux, but Smith recommended Xeloda for us. What exactly is the difference?

Emily Hayes said:You’ve got me mixed up with someone else from the previous thread. 🙂 We still need to get the markers extracted; the tumor was completely removed, and the initial results aren't showing any metastasis in the surrounding tissue. Thank God. I haven't pushed for a PET-CT because Smith told me it only makes sense to do one a year after surgery. The social oncologist doesn't want to start therapy until they have fresh results, so right now we're just struggling with scheduling scans and everything else that needs to happen.

I have another question. I see everyone recommending Avastin and Erbitux, but Smith recommended Xeloda for us. What's the actual difference?

Sorry, I'm on my phone so it's hard to follow everything. 🙂

Avastin or Erbitux (assuming the KRAS test shows it'll work on the wild-type cells) is the go-to treatment for metastatic colorectal carcinomas. Since everything was removed and there are no metastases, there's simply no indication for those two drugs.
Xeloda is a solid drug that slows down the growth of malignant cells. Basically, you're keeping things under control while waiting to see what the exact situation is, if you ask me.
However, you really need to decide where you're going to receive treatment. Cancer treatment definitely isn't something you can play "two sides" with. I'd try working with the social oncologist first, but I would absolutely double-check the prescribed therapy with Smith. It's actually a good thing Smith went with Xeloda so this whole mess of waiting for scans and second opinions doesn't spiral out of control.

Angela Wright said:Sorry, I'm on my phone right now, so it’s a bit hard to follow everything 🙂

Avastin or Erbitux (assuming the KRAS test shows it will work on the wild type cells) is really the go-to therapy when dealing with metastatic colorectal cancer. But since everything was removed and there aren't any metastases, there’s just no clinical reason to use those two drugs.
Xeloda is actually a solid medication that helps slow down the growth of malignant cells. So, if you ask me, he's basically keeping things under control while waiting to see what the exact situation is.
The big thing you need to decide is where the actual treatment will happen. Oncology isn't something you can play "two sides" with—you really need a consistent plan. Personally, I would probably start with Medicare, but I would absolutely double-check the prescribed therapy with Smith first. It’s a good move that Smith started him on Xeloda; it keeps things from getting messy while you're stuck in this waiting game for more tests and specialist opinions.

I see. So, because there are no metastases, Avastin and Erbitux aren't necessary? We actually went to see Smith specifically to get a second opinion. Our plan is to stick with Medicare for the treatment, unless we decide that the quality of care there is significantly lower than what Smith offers. He explained everything so clearly and gave us such helpful recommendations, so at least now we have a reliable baseline to work from. Thank you so much 🙂

Emily Hayes said:Oh, I see. So if there aren't any metastases, we can skip the Avastin and Erbitux?

Exactly. 🙂

Angela Wright said:There’s a specific treatment protocol they follow, and they track everything—general health and markers. I think it varies case by case depending on the drug, but one thing is certain: if at any point a patient starts showing negative clinical signs, like severe side effects or bad blood work, they pull them off the therapy immediately. The worst part is when the patient is actually responding to the treatment, but their body just can't take the hits from the side effects anymore.

I forgot to ask you:
given how big the tumor was, it feels like your mom has been dealing with this for a while now. How did she even find out about it?

We brought Mom home today after her fourth round of chemo and she is doing terribly. This one hit her harder than all the others combined. She’s just lying there, completely helpless and exhausted. Honestly, I don't know how much more her body can take. She's lost so much weight; she was about 145 pounds before surgery, and now, just a few days ago, she was down to 119. She just keeps getting weaker, and those markers are still nowhere near normal.
She first found out because of these pains in her lower abdomen, so she went to see the doctor. At first, they diagnosed it as a benign uterine fibroid (but located on the outside of the uterus), so she spent two weeks in the internal medicine ward. They ran every test imaginable—endoscopies, cystoscopies, colonoscopies, kidney scans... and they couldn't find any sign of metastasis anywhere. Because of the size of the mass, they thought it had to be benign, otherwise, there would have been metastases visible. But then, after the surgery, when I went to talk to the doctor about her, he told me straight away that it was a malignant tumor that started in the left ovary. Initially, they weren't sure they could even do anything because it was so massive and fused with the pelvic area; it was pressing against her bladder in three different spots, pressing on her large intestine, and parts of her small intestine were already being swallowed up by the tumor because it had started spreading toward the upper abdomen once it ran out of room. They ended up removing her reproductive organs, her appendix (even though there weren't metastases there), and the peritoneum, which was riddled with tiny nodes—basically metastases.
Up until now, I really believed we could get the disease into remission and keep it under control, but the markers are dropping so slowly, and she just gets weaker and weaker. She turns 57 in December.
I feel like I'm hitting my breaking point too. It's killing me. I try to comfort her and convince her that everything will be okay, that she has to hang in there and can't give up, but I can see how hard it is for her and how she's losing her strength.
She is such a wonderful, decent person; she didn't deserve to fight something this vicious. My father has been a drunk for 25 years, so she was the one who took care of everything our whole lives. She made sure my sister and I got a great education even on her tiny salary; she wouldn't buy herself any new clothes for probably 15 years while we were in high school and college, just so we could have what we needed. She lived on dry toast or bread for years just so we could make it through the month. Now, she finally gets to see her grandkids—my little girl is 13 months old, and my sister's boy is 19 months—she was so excited to enjoy them, but unfortunately, she just can't. To be honest, I'm terrified to even think that one day, the grandkids might not even remember her...

Amanda Wells75 said:...

😢 Look, honey, I am truly sorry... it seems like those mothers who play the martyr and take everything onto their own shoulders always end up resurfacing at the same time cancer victims do... I guess life and stress just take their toll, usually right when things finally settle down and you think you're entering calmer waters. That’s exactly how it was with my mom.

Just tell me, was she consistent with her annual gynecological exams—you know, the ultrasounds and Pap smears—or was she a bit negligent about that stuff? I'm curious how much time typically passes before reaching this stage, since they say this damn thing is incredibly sneaky.

Ask the oncologist to write a recommendation for Ensure or Ensure Plus nutritional shakes. Once they do that, the primary care physician can write the prescription so you can pick them up at the pharmacy. Honestly, I think the PCP could probably handle it themselves, but they need to come by for a home visit; insist on that, and on home health nursing too—they have the right to it, especially during this phase when she can't do anything for herself, like needing help with bathing and such. It's also vital to have a medical professional stop by to monitor her, because they can spot things that we laypeople completely miss. It is absolutely critical that she eats, or at least takes those meal replacements, because if she slips into cachexia, everything goes south fast. Try giving her some immune boosters between cycles to help her recover. If she starts acting up about it, well, dammit... 😢

Hey everyone, so I’ve been dealing with testicular cancer. I’ve finished three rounds of chemo, there aren't any metastases anywhere that we know of, and my first follow-up went totally fine. But then, at the second check-up, my AFP levels spiked, only to drop back down on the re-test. Now, because of some weird series of coincidences, my oncologist is insisting I get a chest CT scan just to make sure nothing is hiding in there. Personally, I’ve always been a huge advocate for getting an MRI instead, mostly because you don't have to deal with the radiation. I guess I'm wondering, do I actually have the right to demand an MRI and just go that route regardless of what she recommends? When I tried to ask about the risks of a CT scan—you know, pointing out that certain things could probably be caught using other methods or combinations of less harmful tests—all I got was this brush-off that a CT won't hurt me and there's really no reason to worry. What am I supposed to do here? Honestly, I think I'm just mentally exhausted from all of this...

Justin Brown6 said:Hello everyone. I was diagnosed with testicular cancer and have finished three cycles of chemotherapy—so far, so good! No metastases were found initially, and my first follow-up went perfectly. However, during the second check-up, my AFP levels spiked slightly before dropping back down on a repeat test. Now, due to a few unpredictable circumstances, my oncologist is insisting I undergo a chest CT scan to rule out any issues. Personally, I’ve always been a proponent of using an MRI instead, simply because there's no radiation involved. Do I actually have the right to request an MRI and proceed with that instead of following her specific recommendation? When I asked about the risks of a CT scan—especially since certain things can be identified through other methods or combinations of less harmful tests—my response was essentially that a CT wouldn't hurt me and there was no reason to worry. What should I do? Honestly, I'm just feeling mentally exhausted...

A chest CT is actually much more reliable for spotting metastases than an MRI would be.
An MRI of the chest basically looks at the soft tissue structures in the mid-chest area—think heart, major blood vessels, and lymph nodes—but it isn't quite up to the task of detecting potential metastases or other changes within the lungs themselves.
Since testicular cancers are known to frequently metastasize specifically to the lungs, a CT is definitely the more valuable diagnostic tool here.

Justin Brown6 In medicine, it’s always about weighing the potential benefits of a test against the possible risks involved. In this specific situation, the payoff clearly outweighs the downsides. That’s just how it works. If you’ve already established a relationship of trust with your doctor, you should let them do their job. If you’re feeling hesitant or have questions, don't sit there second-guessing—just ask your doctor to walk you through the reasoning.

Angela Wright, where did your mother have her primary cancer? I honestly wonder if my dad might be part of the reason Mom got sick—living with an alcoholic for all those years, dealing with constant stress and his outbursts. Then again, plenty of people just split up if they can't make it work together. My mom was never one for big life changes; she liked her routine and just rolled with how things were.
I read somewhere once that people with certain mental health struggles actually have lower cancer rates because they don't deal with the same kind of intense stress.
Mom used to go for her gynecological exams and Pap tests, but they didn't always do an ultrasound. When she saw her doctor this past spring because of some pain, he told her he’d run a Pap test first to see what shows up and then decide the next steps. Mom basically shot that back at him, saying her recent Pap test came back fine, but she wasn't sure about the rest because she had this pain in her lower abdomen. She insisted she needed to figure out what was going on because she felt terrible, and the pain was just getting worse and worse. The doctor—realizing he couldn't just send her home—rolled his eyes reluctantly and said, "Fine, we'll do an ultrasound," and that's how it started. Then she went in for a hospital exam, and they felt a tumor mass through the colon; they weren't even sure where it originated. The last time she had an ultrasound was maybe three years ago. Whether there was no tumor then or it was just too small to catch on an ultrasound... nobody really knows the answer to that. Mom thinks the tumor might have been there already, but they either missed it or thought it was just a fibroid and didn't react (since Mom has been in menopause for six years now).
To make things even more complicated, Mom had already undergone surgery when her Pap test came back clear, which is normal given her diagnosis. Her issue started with her ovaries, yet a Pap test shows changes in the cervix.
Mom was feeling a lot better yesterday—she seemed "revived." Today she's heading to Medicare by herself to get bloodwork done; she won't let anyone go with her, says she can handle it. So, I'm really hoping that by the time she needs her fifth round of chemo in three weeks, she'll have recovered. It would be such a tragedy if her body couldn't hold up right when her markers are finally dropping.
What do you think about beta-glucan? I asked at the pharmacy recently and they told me not to take it at all during chemotherapy. Their reasoning was that it "revives" cells, and since it revives healthy ones, it also revives the tumor cells that the chemo is supposed to "kill." So, I didn't get it for her.
You mentioned immune boosters, but what exactly do you mean by that? Mom eats healthy and makes her own juices to help her blood counts... Have you ever heard of Solgar vitamins and minerals? They're natural supplements, and the price is double what others cost; you can't find them in every pharmacy, you have to order them. These vitamins aren't synthetic and are much better than anything else on the market. Now, I'm wondering, should I maybe give those to her?
I'm just hoping and believing that the doctors will manage to get Mom's illness into remission...
She said that if she feels better in a year, she wants to go to the beach (she hasn't gone in years, because when she was with my dad, he never wanted to go anywhere, always making some kind of scene), and I told her that of course she’ll feel better and she’s coming to the coast with us (my husband, my kid, and me) to just enjoy ourselves and relax. I truly believe that's how it's going to be...

Amanda Wells75 said:….

My mother was battling glioblastoma—a grade IV malignant brain tumor.

She had a severe case of viral encephalitis when she was just an infant. People claim it had nothing to do with her later health issues, though I can’t prove that one way or the other. Personally? I think it absolutely played a role, especially since the tumor originated in the meninges. Looking back, she couldn't stand intense smells or bright lights—it was always like that. She was a sensitive soul, prone to anxiety and emotional instability. She had zero tolerance for pressure or injustice; she often found herself caught in the crosshairs of other people's power plays. It feels to me like the tumor surfaced right as she hit menopause. It honestly seems like losing that hormonal protection acted as a catalyst for something that had been simmering beneath the surface her entire life, slowly building until it finally took hold.

When it comes to beta-glucans, you can absolutely pick some up and give it to your mom between her treatments. It’s great for boosting the immune system and helping the body recover. As for the idea that it helps malignant cells recover? That’s complete nonsense. In fact, there are cases where it's administered via IV in advanced stages because there's evidence it can actually help slow down the growth of those cells. If you’re looking into beta-glucans, don't just take the marketing hype at face value. You have to look at what the science actually says versus the flashy claims on a supplement bottle. It’s like trying to navigate a complex legal case without reading the fine print; if you don't understand the mechanism, you're just throwing money at a mystery. The core idea here is that these polysaccharides—basically complex sugars—are thought to modulate the immune system. Think of them like a drill sergeant for your white blood cells, essentially "priming" them to be more alert and ready to tackle threats. Some studies suggest they can boost certain types of immune responses, which sounds great on paper when you're dealing with health challenges. But here is the reality check: the research is a bit of a mixed bag. While there is some evidence supporting their role in immune support, it isn't a magic bullet. It's not like flipping a switch that suddenly turns your immune system into an invincible fortress. Much of the data comes from specific contexts, like helping manage cholesterol or supporting certain therapeutic treatments, rather than being a universal "cure-all." Before you go out and stock up on every brand you see on the shelf, talk to your doctor. Supplements can interact with medications or interfere with how your body handles certain treatments. Just because something is "natural" doesn't mean it's inherently safe or effective for your specific situation. Treat it like any other medical decision: do your homework, weigh the risks, and get professional input first.
The only thing you really need to watch out for is avoiding it during chemo sessions; its antioxidant properties can actually undercut the effectiveness of the treatment.

Hey everyone...

I really wanted to reach out and see if anyone else has ever dealt with something like this... because I’m just completely lost... here's the situation... my husband passed away four months ago at only 38 years old from stomach cancer... diffuse type... though, technically, he didn't actually die from the cancer itself, but from a pulmonary embolism, pneumonia, and sepsis... It was only nine days from the moment they found the cancer until he was gone... so the whole thing just feels so surreal and impossible to wrap my head around... A month before the diagnosis, he started getting these cramps and a dull ache in his calves... since he plays tennis recreationally, he just figured it was some minor injury from the court, and after two weeks, he went to see his doctor. His doctor sent him for blood and urine tests, and by pure coincidence, he ended up seeing an internist because there was a tiny bit of blood in his urine—just a trace amount, and apparently, the doctor thought it might just be because he hadn't stayed hydrated enough the day before... As for his legs, his regular doctor just told him to take some magnesium... When he saw the internist, the guy just suggested a higher dose of magnesium, and my husband also thought it was just pulled ligaments or something from tennis... but since the specialist happened to be a nephrologist, he ordered a kidney ultrasound while he was already there. My husband had been working like normal and wasn't having any issues at all... we were even planning a summer vacation... he had never been sick a day in his life. But when he got to the ultrasound, the doctor noticed fluid in his abdomen and immediately admitted him to the hospital without telling us anything other than "we need to run all the tests." He couldn't go to work that day; he had to stay in the hospital, which was July 14th. Physically, he was doing great, no pain, just those calves... On July 15th, he had a gastroscopy and they found the stomach cancer, even though all the subsequent lab results came back okay. We were just waiting for surgery... in the meantime, he kept running fevers, which delayed the surgery until they could get the fever under control with antibiotics. He wasn't even on any other meds for the fever besides Tylenol... and still, there were no bad prognoses given... Then, suddenly, on July 21st, he started struggling to breathe and they had to put him on oxygen... but his general condition still seemed fine, he'd tell me everything was okay, just that it was hard to catch his breath. By July 23rd, he was gone... we were talking to him at 1:00 PM, he was eating normally, just breathing heavily, and then around 2:00 PM they moved him to the ICU, and by 3:00 PM, he was gone... we were just in total shock!! If he could have walked, he would have just strolled up to the ICU on the third floor himself, because he felt okay... he hadn't even lost a single pound. The discharge papers say he died from a pulmonary embolism, pneumonia, and sepsis... but it was probably that fluid in his abdomen that did him in... I mean, wasn't there any way to drain it?! How can a person die in just nine days??? One day he's working fine, just having calf pains, and then... nothing. I can't believe it, it's almost impossible to process. I keep wondering what would have happened if he hadn't gone to the doctor for those leg pains... would it have been the same? I don't know, I've never heard of someone dying within nine days of a diagnosis when the only symptom was calf pain caused by fluid buildup. Has anyone else in their family gone through something similar? Thank you!!

lonesailor36 said:Hey everyone.

I wanted to reach out and see if anyone else has ever dealt with something like this... honestly, I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. About four months ago, my husband passed away at just 38 years old from stomach cancer—diffuse type. But the thing is, he didn't actually die from the cancer itself; it was a pulmonary embolism, pneumonia, and sepsis that took him. It’s all just so surreal because from the moment we found out about the cancer to the moment he was gone, it was only nine days. That timeline feels so impossible and strange. A month before the diagnosis, he started getting these cramps and some mild pain in his calves. Since he plays tennis recreationally, he just figured he’d pulled something or strained a ligament. He went to his primary doctor after two weeks, who sent him for some basic blood and urine work. As luck would have it, he ended up seeing an internist because they found a tiny bit of blood in his urine—though the doctor thought it might just be because he hadn't stayed hydrated enough the day before. For the leg pain, his regular doctor just told him to take some magnesium. When he saw the internist, who happened to be a nephrologist, he assumed it was just a pulled muscle too, but the doctor decided to order a kidney ultrasound just to be safe. My husband was working a full schedule, totally fine, no issues at all. We were even planning a summer vacation; he had never been sick a day in his life. During the ultrasound, the doctor noticed fluid buildup in his abdomen and immediately admitted him to the hospital without telling us much, just saying they needed to run a full battery of tests. He skipped work that day, July 14th, to stay put. Physically, he was doing great—no pain, just those calves. On July 15th, he had a gastroscopy, and that's when they found the stomach cancer, even though every other test afterward came back normal. We were waiting for surgery, but he kept running a fever that delayed things while they tried to clear it up with antibiotics. He wasn't even on any heavy meds for the fever, just Tylenol. His prognosis still seemed okay. Then, suddenly, on July 21st, he started having trouble breathing and they had to put him on oxygen. Even then, he seemed okay, telling us everything was fine, just that lifting things was getting hard. By July 23rd, he was gone. We were talking to him at 1:00 PM—he was talking normally, just struggling a bit for breath—then around 2:00 PM they moved him to the ICU, and by 3:00 PM, he was gone. We were absolutely devastated. It felt like if he hadn't been feeling up for it, he could have just walked up to the ICU on the third floor himself since he felt so physically strong. He hadn't lost any weight at all. His discharge papers say he died from a pulmonary embolism, pneumonia, and sepsis. I can't help but think that fluid buildup in his abdomen might have been the trigger. Was there really no way to drain that fluid? How does someone die in nine days? One day he's working a normal job with nothing but calf pain, and the next, everything is over. I can't believe it. I keep wondering what would have happened if he hadn't gone to the doctor for those legs. Would it have been the same? I've never heard of someone dying within nine days of a diagnosis with no symptoms other than leg pain caused by fluid buildup. Has anyone else in their family gone through something similar? Thank you.

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss...

Unfortunately, a pulmonary embolism is one of those frequent culprits behind sudden deaths.
When someone is fighting cancer, the body often becomes prone to excessive blood clotting, which means a clot can easily "travel" and end up in the lungs.
The pneumonia adds another layer of complication to the situation.
Symptoms hit like a freight train, and even in the most prestigious medical centers in the country, the mortality rate for something this aggressive remains extremely high.

velvetmoose9 said:I am so incredibly sorry for your loss...

Unfortunately, a pulmonary embolism (blood clot) is one of those things that causes sudden death way too often...

When you're dealing with cancer, the body often gets this tendency toward excessive blood clotting within the veins, so a clot frequently just "ends up" straight in the lungs.
Having pneumonia on top of all that just makes everything so much more complicated.

The symptoms hit you out of nowhere, and honestly, even in the absolute best medical centers in the world, the mortality rate for something this nasty remains terrifyingly high...

thanks!

I get all that, I really do... but in just 9 days? Like, the breathing issues and lung problems only showed up in the last 2 days... and where would pneumonia or sepsis even come from?! That part just doesn't make any sense to me at all... but anyway, thanks for the reply!

Angela Wright, I am so incredibly sorry about your mom losing her fight. It’s heartbreaking. But like you said, it sounds like things were caught way too late in the process. I can't help but worry that my own mom might be in that same boat... hers was just diagnosed at Stage IIIC.
I honestly don't even know what else to say. I just have to hold onto hope that medical science has come far enough along that they can get her cancer into remission. I just want her to have some time to recover, to enjoy her grandkids, and just spend quality time with the people she loves most. Did your mom have to fight it for a long time?

lonesailor36, I am so incredibly sorry about losing your husband. It’s just devastating how fast everything happened... he didn't even get a real chance to fight it. The disease just moved way too quickly and didn't give him any time at all.

Amanda Wells75 said:Angela Wright, I am so incredibly sorry that your mother lost her battle with this disease, but you mentioned yourself that it was caught far too late. I'm terrified because my own mom might be "too late" as well—her diagnosis just came in at stage IIIC.
I honestly don't know what else to say, other than hoping that medical science has advanced enough to put my mom's illness into remission. I just want to give her body a chance to recover, to give her more time to enjoy her grandkids and just spend time with the people she loves. Did your mother fight the disease for a long time?

The truth is, my mother didn't miss the window. With a diagnosis like that, there is no such thing as "early enough." It was caught once the neurological symptoms started hitting, but even if we had found it sooner, the outcome would have been exactly the same. That's just how this disease works. She dealt with migraines her whole life as part of her PMS, and it never once crossed anyone's mind to suspect a brain tumor. Honestly, it's entirely possible there was nothing there at all until everything spiraled over the course of a year right before the major episodes began. Those are just my assumptions, but the fact that she was beyond saving regardless is a biological certainty with glioblastoma.
From the moment of diagnosis until she passed, Mom lived for two and a half years, which is pretty much the average for this diagnosis. Out of that time, she spent a full year paralyzed from the neck down.

lonesailor36 said:thanks!

I get all that... but regarding those last 9 days... specifically those final 2 days where his breathing and lungs were the issue... I just don't understand how lung issues and sepsis fit into the picture. That part makes zero sense to me. Regardless, thanks for the reply!

Honey, please accept my deepest condolences. I’ve dealt with plenty of heavy losses in my life, but I can't even begin to fathom how devastating it is to lose someone so young and so suddenly... 😢

Sepsis happens when bacteria hit the bloodstream. It isn't an uncommon complication when a bacterial infection goes untreated.

My theory—and I'm just speculating here based strictly on what you've shared—is that your husband might have been carrying *Helicobacter pylori* for years. It could be the culprit behind his stomach cancer, which then potentially spread to his lungs and ultimately triggered the sepsis.
Here is a study discussing how this specific bacterium can cause issues in the lungs as well: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12508341
Did you ever receive the results from his autopsy?

In any case, I would strongly suggest that you get tested for that bacterium yourself. It’s a simple breath test. If you have it, you need to treat it before it causes problems for you too. It’s one of the primary triggers for gastric tumors.

Angela Wright said:Honestly, my mom wasn't late. With a diagnosis like this, there’s no such thing as "early enough." She came in once the neurological symptoms started showing up, but even if she had caught it sooner, the end result would have been the exact same. That's just how this disease works. She dealt with migraines her whole life as part of her PMS, and it never once crossed anyone's mind to suspect a brain tumor. It's entirely possible there was nothing there at all until things really spiraled over the course of a year. Those are just my assumptions, I guess, but the fact remains—there was no saving her either way. That is just a biological reality with glioblastoma.
My mom lived for two and a half years after her diagnosis, which is pretty much the average for this kind of thing. Out of that time, she spent a full year unable to move anything from the neck down.

Cancer is just so cruel... When I read about someone having an end like that—paralyzed and incontinent for a whole year—it honestly gives me chills. It leaves me with this overwhelming sadness and that constant, nagging question of "why?" Of course, nobody is ever going to give me an answer to that...
With cancer, the worst part is the total uncertainty of how it all ends. Every type of cancer is terrible in its own unique way; they say ovarian cancer is especially sneaky.
I spent months reading through this entire forum whenever I could find a spare moment while looking after my little baby. During that first stretch, I noticed posts from Dine9, who fought ovarian cancer for so many years before finally losing the battle. She was always so optimistic, constantly offering support and hope to everyone else, even while fighting such a heavy diagnosis herself. I can't believe that even at the very end of her journey, she still made sure to find a way to let people on this forum know she was passing. I felt so incredibly heartbroken when I read that she had left us...
This forum provides a sense of comfort for me. It's a place where I can write down my feelings, my doubts, and ask questions. It helps me get through this incredibly difficult chapter of my life while my mom is sick, but at the same time, I feel so much grief and empathy for all of you when I read about the loved ones you've lost.