User dossiers? Does this forum have its own CIA and FBI?

So, I was reading through some stuff and saw this mention of "user notes," where an old-school mod basically tells a newbie, "Hey, check the user notes to see why you got banned last time."

Now, I think everyone on this board is dying to know what’s actually buried in those files.
Do we even have any right to know? Like, where can we go to see exactly what some forum spy decided to scribble down in our files to get us flagged?
Are we allowed to actually challenge or push back against the facts they log, or are these user notes just going to stay top secret, hidden away from us common folk?

I mean, I’d really love to know what, say, Willard has written about me in my own user notes... 🤣

Just like someone on this thread called it, those "conspiracy theories" are starting to gain some serious traction 😁

I’m with you on that, man; I'm itching to dig deeper and see if I can pull together an even thicker file on this whole mess.😁

If my memory serves me right—and I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure—about 99% of what goes into those user notes is just tracking down improper signatures. So, if someone pulls another botched signature, they’re basically asking to have their file flagged much more "seriously" next time.

As far as I'm concerned, the UN is just some redundant extra layer that doesn't really need to be there.

Everything is laid out clearly enough in the filing section anyway, so there aren't really any big secrets being kept from us.

mistycyclist5 said:I'm with him on this one. I want to see if my own file has been padded out too.😁

Maybe you’ll get permission, but don't expect to take it home. You won't be able to photocopy it, copy-paste it, or anything else. You'll only be allowed to look at it while an authorized official is standing right there. 🤣🤣

mistycyclist5 said:Just like someone on that thread predicted, the "conspiracy theories" are starting to pop up. 😁

I’m with the guy here; I want to see if there's any actual substance to this file.😁

So, what do you think it actually means?
It means you're a troll. In plain English, being called a troll just means you don't agree with whatever the moderator thinks.

And if you've already been whining about an infraction or a ban, they'll label you a troll x or a troll xx.

How would you even label that?
Is there anyone in the mod squad who puts together a condensed profile once they've gathered enough intel...
Kind of like those school reports: "shows great literary potential, but struggles with social integration."

How does the file actually start?
Nick:
DOB:
Marital status:
Offspring:
Pets: (Note, if they have a goldfish, they aren't gay, obviously)

List of anti-forum activity and counter-intelligence efforts:
List of PM contacts currently living abroad:
....
....

Hmm, give me some actual details here, I'm assuming we're looking at another spy scandal...
Man, what a joke this life is, where there’s zero chance for a revolution and you can't even be driven by some grand ideals of liberation...
Screw just having freedom—you have to fight for it. That's the only way you ever get to be a hero...

Michael Palmer11 said:So, how would you guys label that?

I mean, I guess you aren't really qualified to jump in on this thread since you don't have any User notes 😢

I guess I’m just playing by a completely different set of rules here. Maybe I’m some kind of double agent or something.
But seriously, who are the actual collaborators, the informants, the snitches...
And who's actually out there recruiting them?
Honestly, lately, I’ve started looking at every single priest in the clergy with a massive amount of suspicion....

@velvetgull9/">@@velvetgull9, you and I both know exactly why my profile doesn't have a single user note on it. Even among the mods, there are people working for the other side. And trust me, it wouldn't be good for anyone if my notes ever went public....😉

Man, just imagine if those FBI snitches had a little button that said: "Report this post." That would be such a godsend....

Michael Palmer11 said:J

@velvetgull9/">@@velvetgull9, you and I both know exactly why my user notes are totally blank. Even among the mods, there are plenty who are basically working for the other side. And honestly? It wouldn’t be great if anyone actually saw what was in my notes... 😉

I mean, let's be real, nobody gives a damn about anyone else's UN stuff. 🤷

And that’s exactly why Big Brother is the most watched show in the country...

Well, I've gone and landed myself on a blacklist 👋

Michael Palmer11 said:That’s why Big Brother is basically the most watched show in the whole country...

I’d say it’s actually the News. 🤷

If you actually bother to look at the user notes on this forum, you’ll see they document absolutely EVERYTHING. It’s like a digital dossier where they’ve tracked every single person’s whereabouts back in 1971 or 1991, and honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if they knew exactly what you had for breakfast on December 7th, 2008. These forum profile notes are basically the most exhaustive intelligence files in the entire country, maybe even further afield. ☕

Look, we all know how this goes. Just stop stalling and drop the juicy stuff already...

@Richard Perez3:

..The Stasi is nothing more than a joke compared to us 😁

Michael Palmer11 said:@Richard Perez3:

http://www.nytimes.com/articles/view/21144/

Just look at what else is on TV these days and tell me there's anything better to watch. 😁 😁 😁

Envej, I swear, I've never looked at anyone's UN reports in my entire life, except for yours when you started this thread, and honestly? There's nothing even worth seeing. 🤷

That’s exactly what Manolic, Boljkovac, and Perkovic were claiming back in '91.
And yet, you still see people buying into their nonsense...

As for watching it: My dad thinks it's better than yours, so I guess it's a decent enough show (though it feels like a total waste of time, kind of like using a grenade left over from the Gulf War)

Seriously, I might just turn this into a full-blown business. 🤔

Rachel Sanchez11, how much are you actually willing to cough up for those Willard notes? 🙂

Come on, let’s set a rate, and then I’ll drop my Venmo handle right here. 🥳

I could even throw in some special perks... say, if you order a UN report on one user, you get the reports on all their clones at half price.

Reports on the banana users would be double the cost, obviously.

And a report on a moderator? That'll run you about five times the usual rate.

Who says my only shot at hitting the jackpot is marrying into money? Ha... 😍

Look, I’ve actually got this top-secret dossier on Willard that Richard Perez3 managed to pull from the UN archives before they scrubbed it. It basically lays out the whole playbook—which forum users you have to trash just to climb the ladder to moderator, and which moderators you need to suck up to if you want to become a super-moderator...

Trust me, that intel is worth way more than anything regarding Willard. Honestly, the only thing worth paying for when it comes to him would be his deleted posts...
😁

Just so you know, Nicole Collins13 used to be with the FBI..😁