Speech therapy: Issues with pronouncing the letter R

What steps should I take if I'm struggling with the pronunciation of this particular letter?

I find myself wondering about the root cause of this issue...
Is it something physical, or perhaps more psychological in nature?

I am nearly 17 years old and have never sought out a speech therapist. It has begun to grate on my nerves quite a bit lately. Is there any way at all to "soften" the effect...

I would truly appreciate hearing any perspectives, guidance, recommendations, or advice you might have 🙂.
Thanks in advance.

First off, don't sweat it... I actually think it's kind of cute. Plus, everyone has their own way of pronouncing things anyway.
And I guess you could probably work on it, though it might be a bit easier while you're still young..

...look, if it really bothers you that much, maybe go see a speech therapist... they'll tell you exactly what's wrong, since they're the ones who actually know 😁 ...their job better than anyone else

Anyway, Eric Newman65 is spot on here... I find it pretty charming myself, and I don't see it as some kind of flaw...
😉

Daniel Lee90
By the way, you've got a killer username...
One of my all-time favorite movies... I've seen the whole trilogy at least 20 times, if not more...
🙂 🙂 🙂

*knock, knock THINK MCFLY, THINK!!!!! * 😁 😁
👍

Cheers

I actually struggled with the letter "R" quite a bit when I was little. I remember saying things like "ljiba" instead of "fish," or "ljavno" instead of "straight"—it was pretty silly looking back. My dad would try to teach me, getting all frustrated and telling me, "Roar, say fish!"—but I’d just look at him and say, "Roar, ljiba." I honestly couldn't wrap my head around how to blend that sound with any other letters. Eventually, my parents sent me to see a speech therapist, and she was the one who finally helped me master that "Roar" sound so I could actually say "fish." If you're struggling with it too, maybe seeing a specialist might be worth a shot? It worked for me.

👍 Thanks to everyone for all the support.
Even though things haven't actually improved, you've certainly managed to lift my spirits... 😎

It would be such a boost to my confidence if there were even a glimmer of hope that this could be mitigated, or something to that effect.
I've heard whispers about certain jaw exercises being an option, though I'm entirely unfamiliar with them.

The most difficult moments are when I'm out meeting women. 🙄
Of course, it isn't everything, but you know how these things can feel...

And most importantly, am I perhaps already too old for speech therapy?
I never felt the need for it before, but now I find myself considering it quite seriously.
Do any of you know anyone around my age who sees a specialist, or has in the past? Any insights?

Forgive me for being such a nuisance... 😛

All the best, and warm regards to you all...

Daniel Lee90: There used to be this pretty pricey private school near Cleveland, mostly for kids. I see you're about 17, so I’m not sure if you can still get in, but it's worth asking. You really just need to focus on jaw development—basically building up that jaw autonomy. Once that's fully developed, it’ll be much easier to fix those pronunciation slips. Otherwise, you'll end up sounding like Eric Garcia90.
Good luck with everything.👍

Still way better than having Kusash in charge. 🙂.

If you’re currently in Washington, D.C., you should check out Savannah.

And honestly, I don't think it's too late for you to get help. My cousin went there for stuttering therapy when she was even older than you are now, and they made a significant impact on her progress.

Now, your situation might be a different beast entirely, but Savannah isn't exactly cheap, so it's worth seeing if the investment pays off.

That said, I know several people who struggle with pronouncing that specific letter, and personally, I find it quite charming.

On the other hand, I’m not a woman, so I can't speak to how they feel when someone is hitting on them, but my gut tells me it doesn't bother them much—at worst, it's a nuisance, but most likely, they'll just find it endearing. 🙂

So, there's really no reason to lose sleep over it. 👍

Personally, I think it’s pretty chill—definitely doesn't bother me at all.

But hey, if it’s bugging you—> just hit up a speech therapist and see what they can do.

They say it’s a lost cause... nothing to it.

Since it seems every woman finds me charming, why on earth would I ever sacrifice the very thing that sets me apart from the crowd, hmm?

It is simply a matter of logical reverse psychology! (And no, I haven't quite finished studying Freud yet...😉 )

Thanks anyway, everyone!

I used to drop my "R" sounds. Instead of the tongue actually vibrating, the lazy thing just stayed flat. So it sounded like "Marina is going to m*sticate the cr*bs and Peter's ears." 🙄

I saw a speech therapist when I was a kid and learned how to roar, but I could never integrate it into actual sentences. My attempts sounded roughly like "Marrrrrrina is going to morrrre rrrrhonit rrraaaaackers and Peterrrrrov's ears." Going to the therapist twice a week was exhausting for my stomach and my mom’s patience, so we eventually quit. By the time I hit college at 18, I still had the speech impediment, and everyone thought it was "sooooo cuuuute and sweeeet," so I didn't really care. Until I realized people weren't taking me seriously. 😢 Someone made a joke about it, and looking back, I realized that's how a lot of people view anyone with a speech impediment. Unprofessional, immature, irresponsible. 😢 I couldn't let that be my reputation.

Thanks to my "boss, Elvis," who started teasing me about it, I began overcompensating by forcing an "R" into every single word just for the hell of it. Slowly, those extra Rs smoothed out and faded away until they were almost gone... I didn't even notice it happening. Only people who hadn't seen me in a while picked up on the change. Nowadays, even professionals trained to spot these things—like psychologists during a job interview—don't notice unless I bring it up myself... 🙂 IF I bring it up. 😁

You have two options;

1. see a speech therapist—you’ll definitely fix the issue, provided you stay persistent and practice.

2. learn French—then you'll chat like you're actually there. 😉

Given all these posts from the female population, it seems a third option exists. 😉

From a purely phonetic standpoint, being unable to hit that perfect "r" sound is technically called rhoticism, and it’s often categorized as a speech impediment.
In reality, it’s usually just something you picked up as a kid—basically, you learned the wrong tongue placement early on and it just stuck. If it actually bothers you (even though most people find it charmingly unique), you could always go see a speech therapist.

You hit the nail right on the head...😁 😁 .. That’s just...

It’s like they say—it's a dog-eat-dog world—though I've never quite mastered saying that phrase perfectly...

Growing up, everyone, even my closest family members, used to tease me relentlessly about it until I was blue in the face... Honestly, looking back, I'm surprised I didn't develop some sort of massive inferiority complex from all that. Maybe I did, and I'm just too oblivious to realize it... who knows, right?

Eventually, though, I decided to flip the script and turn it into an advantage!😉
There are definitely certain women who find that quality impossible to resist....🙄 😉

I'm perfectly fine with it now...🙂 I'm just built differently....

So, I just caught up on the posts above... apparently, a whole lot of women actually find this charming...😉 It’s honestly quite shocking...🙂
And as for your own kind—men—they’ll just mock you for it... right up until the moment they end up begging for your affection themselves...😉

Don't even sweat it, honestly. It's actually pretty cute and sexy.
My ex and I used to have so much fun messing around with that. Whenever I was feeling a bit grumpy, he’d just tease me by saying, "Come on, tell me, Iggy, Iggy" 🙂 (translation: Iggy, Iggy)

Daniel Lopez said:Just let it go, don't sweat it; honestly, it’s actually pretty cute and sexy.
My ex and I used to have a blast messing around with stuff like that. Whenever she was feeling even slightly annoyed, she’d just start teasing me, calling me "Iggy, Iggy" 🙂 (like, a little nickname)

😁
Ava Ava Adolle...😁 😁 😁

Honestly, whenever I’m feeling frustrated, my l naturally gets even worse 🙂
And sometimes you can barely hear it at all... people don't even notice until years later
(Which makes sense, since pronunciation depends on the situation—whether there's anxiety, excitement, embarrassment, or whatever else is going on)
Then it gets more intense
But you guys already know how that works

Look, it’s actually way easier if a kid (and you’re already pretty much an adult 🙂) just can't hit that "R" sound at all—like, they learn to say it with that fancy French flair instead. In that case, it just means you're using your vocal apparatus the wrong way when you try to force the letter out.
If it really bothers you, go see a speech therapist; they'll give you a whole bunch of exercises you can mess around with in front of a mirror to fix it.
Otherwise, you might as well just lean into it and make it part of your whole persona 😉

moonlight said:I used to just drop the "r" sound entirely. Instead of my tongue actually rolling, it would just stay lazy... So it sounded like "Mary is going to go rrrrhonit rrrrakows and Peter's ears." 🙄

I saw a speech therapist as a kid and learned how to say Robert, but I could never actually weave it into real sentences... My attempts sounded roughly like this: "Marrrrrrin is going to rrrrhonit rrrrakows and Peter's ears." Going to therapy twice a week was too much for my stomach and my mom's patience, so we gave up. By the time I hit college at 18, I was still "talking" like that, and everyone thought it was "sooo cute and sweet," so I didn't really care. Until I realized some people don't take me seriously. 😢 Someone made a joke about it once, and looking back, I realized that’s how a lot of people view anyone with a speech impediment. Unprofessional, immature, irresponsible. 😢 I couldn't let myself be that person.

Shout out to my "boss Elvis" who started teasing me, and out of pure spite, I started over-emphasizing every single R in every word. Slowly, those extra Rs smoothed out until they were almost normal... I didn't even notice. It was just people who hadn't seen me in a while who picked up on it. Nowadays, even experts trained to spot these things—like psychologists during job interviews—don't notice unless I bring it up... 🙂 IF I bring it up. 😁

Jesus 😲 sorry, but this is the dumbest thing I've heard...
If you feel like people don't take you seriously, that's on you.
I pronounce my R's from the throat... kind of like the French or Germans, and it never bothered me because I never viewed it as a defect.
It all comes down to how a kid mimics the R sounds they hear from adults... the ear-to-brain connection... then the pronunciation.

Someone called it a flaw... I don't see it that way. Different cultures pronounce certain sounds differently. Sure, it's not common for an American to sound like a German or a Frenchman, but if it doesn't cause actual problems, why stress over it?