Troy

Ugh, finally sat down to watch that movie... honestly? It was kind of mid. Only the ending actually kept me hooked. I was totally rooting for Hector😁
His wife is a total knockout, though.😁
Achilles was pretty meh, Hector definitely had more going for him. Such a bummer he died.😁

Vulcan Raven said:Balrog is really the only one who pulls off an impressive look.🙄
As for the rest of the movie, I spent more time yelling at the screen out of pure frustration than actually enjoying myself.🙄 👎

That’s just because you’re such a total Tolkien fanatic.🙂

What’s truly bizarre—and honestly, a little heartbreaking—is that this script wasn't just slapped together by some Hollywood hack who doesn't know any better. Instead, it was actually penned by David Benioff, the same talented guy behind the novels and the screenplay for 25th Hour.

😕

copperridge912
😁 Honestly, it’s a bit shallow. It feels like one of those popcorn movies—you watch it, enjoy the ride, and then immediately forget it exists.
The showdown between Hector and Achilles was solid, and that initial Greek assault on the Trojan defenses had some real tension. But the rest of it? Just okay, I guess...
Though, seeing those hints of an Odyssey at the end... well, let's just hope they get it right next time. 😁

Let's just pray they don't mess up the Odyssey too, because that would be a tragedy...😠

Amy Smith said:Let's just pray they don't try to film an Odyssey; we don't need them ruining that too.😠

Look, we all joked about it after 😂 came out, but if they actually made a "realistic" version of the Odyssey, those guys would have just rowed straight home and never run into a single monster.😂

casualotter21 said:See? That’s my point. Now imagine if Lord of the Rings had just come out like this. The film doesn't care about actual history or epic scale. At least LOTR looks impressive, even if nothing else works.

Give me a break... Which character from LOTR would actually win a hypothetical sword fight against Achilles or Hector—assuming we leave out magic and giant elephants? Sure, LOTR might look pretty, but all those characters are softies who can't even die properly. 😁

I haven't actually sat down to watch the movie yet—not because I’m avoiding it, mind you, but just because life keeps getting in the way...

However, I have heard just about everything regarding the plot, and the consensus seems to be that it bears very little resemblance to Homer...

But then again, who am I to judge? Americans always seem to have such strong opinions on how these stories ought to be told...
If nothing else, knowing Brad Pitt still meets his end is quite the testament to Hollywood's commitment to tragedy...

The whole thing really brings to mind that old joke:

Question: Why didn't Bruce Willis star in Titanic??
Answer: Because he would have saved everyone...

👋

Personally, I think Troy hits much harder than Lord of the Rings—it’s just way more high-octane and packed with action. I mean, remember those endless, drawn-out conversations in LOTR? Not to mention that ending... it dragged on forever and was honestly kind of a snooze fest.

jadegardener22 said:In my opinion, Troy is better than LOTR; it’s more dynamic and packed with more action. Just think about those endless conversations in LOTR, not to mention that irritatingly long and tedious ending.

I have to agree. For instance, just consider the stay in Rivendell which—brother to brother—lasts longer than the entire Trojan War as depicted in the film.

Which is actually quite ironic, considering the only thing I truly remember from the Iliad is the infinite amount of monologues delivered by the characters.

Personally, I’m a firm believer that the absolute best movies out there are the ones directed by Michael Bay, mostly because they’re just so much more high-octane and packed with nonstop action, plus you don't really have to worry about all that tedious dialogue getting in the way.

Richard Hernandez13 said:Personally, I think Michael Bay makes the best movies because they’re more dynamic, packed with action, and don't bother with dialogue at all.

Which is actually quite brilliant, really, since it essentially turns his films into something akin to Waiting for Godot by Beckett—just nothing but explosions! Add in some PG-13 violence and sex scenes, and you have the perfect product for the teenagers who make up his primary demographic.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/cle...10.html?page=2

ODYSSEUS: Hey, how’s it going?
ACHILLES: Not much [dodge, parry, stab]. Just showing Patroclus [dodge, parry, dodge] the ropes [stab].
ODYSSEUS: Kid looks sharp. Is he your—
ACHILLES: Cousin. He’s my cousin. My cousin. To wrap it up: Cousin.
ODYSSEUS: Sure, whatever. Listen, you ready to fight for Agamemnon or not?

....

"Menelaus kicks Paris in about thirty seconds.

BLOOD: *spurts*
PARIS: *cries*
MENELAUS: GET BACK HERE SO I CAN FINISH YOU, YOU COWARD!
PARIS: *clings to Hector's feet, sniveling*
MENELAUS: I'LL TAKE YOU DOWN LIKE A DOG!
HECTOR: *HECTOR SMASH!*
MENELAUS: *dies*
PRIAM [from city wall]: Oh boy, this is bad. This is just really bad.
OUR LADY OF SOUNDTRACK SORROW: WAHHHHHOOOOOHHHHH!

.....

Agamemnon's Tent of Suck
ODYSSEUS: So, are you actually going to give Achilles back his lady now?
AGAMEMNON: Honestly, I’d love to, but I already handed her over to the troops.
ODYSSEUS: *facepalm*
NASTY GREEK SOLDIERS: Woohoo! Who gets a turn with the prize first?
BRISEIS: I'M KILLING YOU FIRST!
ACHILLES: And I'm killing you second!

Achilles goes All ninja on The Greeks with a branding Iron and carries Briseis OFF
off.

😂 🤣 Fucking 👍

casualotter21 said:I'm with you. For instance, a four-day stay in Rivendell lasts longer than the entire Trojan War as depicted in the movie.

It’s actually a bit ironic, considering the only thing I remember from The Iliad is how characters go on endless monologues.

That’s one of my biggest gripes with Troy: you walk away feeling like the whole war lasted maybe a week. But according to Homer, it went on for years.
Unfortunately, Troy is just your typical American blockbuster—fun for a weekend, then forgotten. It's a shame about The Iliad.

Man, I totally lost my mind. My old man has been riding my back for a month straight, constantly nagging, "Hey, go get the LotR: RotK, bring it home, bring it home!" So, fine, I grab it. The thing sits on the shelf gathering dust for three days before this genius finally decides to watch it. And what does this guy do? He spends the whole time constantly rewinding scenes—you know, those parts where the music swells and Aragorn is just staring intensely into the distance... For God's sake, it's The Lord of the Rings! It's an epic, you know? Read the manual! Check out some film theory or something to understand what an epic actually entails. You can't have an epic without those sweeping shots, that pseudo-classical orchestral score, or the haunting voices of Enyin and Lennoxicin layered over long montages... Honestly, I just don't get some people 🙂

It would have been a hundred times better if he had just said, "Yeah, I think LotR is crap." That's fine! Totally fine. 🙂... You're entitled to your opinion; if you hate it, you hate it, but you can't exactly have complaints about the direction of the film itself as a technical achievement. Peter Jackson absolutely rules, okay? This thing is a masterpiece, for crying out loud!

Palace Backyard, Troy

Paris is out there working on his archery, shooting at some straw target nailed to the wall. He’s absolutely nailing every single shot. Bull's-eye after bull's-eye.

HELEN: Wow, I didn't realize you were such a natural at this.

PARIS: Honestly, neither did I. i. Weird, right? Now I'm just craving some lembas.

HELEN: Excuse me?

😂

Regarding the epic itself, I don't find the story particularly gripping; it’s more about the historical fact of the Battle of Troy. Speaking of facts, you can't really trust Homer—truth is always the first casualty in war. For all we know, maybe the Trojans actually won...

I noticed a few technical inconsistencies in the film. Since I have a technical mind, I’ll list them here:

1) What kind of idiot builds massive walls just to fight right in front of them, like the Trojans did in the opening battle? Or was that just so they wouldn't have to film complex maneuvers involving wall sieges and siege engines like rams, fire, or ladders?
2) During the fight with Hector, Achilles' sword bounces off the shield during those repeated vertical strikes, almost as if the shield were solid iron. In reality, shields were made of wood with a central iron reinforcement (otherwise they'd be too heavy); if it actually were iron, the sword would have snapped like a twig on the first hit.
4) According to modern historical interpretations, the Trojan Horse was likely an earthquake, because the whole horse story is honestly idiotic.
5) As far as I'm concerned, Achilles' heel probably refers to his armor and the back of his legs, which were likely less protected.
6) Achilles is portrayed as fast, but his physique doesn't look like a warrior who trains his body for a lifetime. Anyone who has ever seen a heavyweight wrestler will realize this; it looks similar...
His body looks like a bloated bodybuilder—thin bones in the torso and limbs paired with overly pumped muscles.
His physique doesn't inspire awe; it just makes him look like a poser.
I’d also add that his gaze isn't the look of a warrior, but then again, I'm being subjective now.

urbanhawk28 said:Since we're talking about facts, I don't think you can really take Homer at his word.

And here I was thinking the part where we find out Helen was hatched from a giant egg was a total dead giveaway. 🙄