Troy

Paul Campbell3 said:I don't think he even actually fought the king in the epic, but I could be wrong.

Actually, Paris tries to take on Menelaus in the poem, but Aphrodite just teleports him back to Helen's room because she isn't interested in seeing him get hurt.

Paul Campbell3 said:Yeah, he stabbed him in the back, and when he was unarmed in the movie, it was even worse in the epic.

He was just sitting there at the feast like a guest, then started wailing in the middle of the ocean once it was way too late to turn back—knowing damn well his brother wouldn't let the kid die (he definitely would've died if he’d actually gone back for her).

He went because he figured his older brother would look out for him (in the movie). In the epic, I think he didn't even bother fighting the king, but I'm not 100% sure.

If he had done any of that fairly and honestly, he'd be called Hector, or maybe Superman. But he's just Paris—weak, but not a total coward.😁

Otto, Paris was just the tool used here; that pathetic little "ooh, look at me, I'm the sun god" Apollo actually took down Achilles.

GNN, maybe my brain is starting to rot a little bit (you can ask C'Teba), but honestly, I just can't stay cool about these comics... here's a little boost for the ego: 🙏 🙏 🙏

Nancy Kim2 said:GNN, maybe the heat is finally getting to my brain (just ask C'Teba), but honestly, I can't stay indifferent to these comics... here's a little ego boost for the road: 🙏 🙏 🙏

I know, I know—all I wanted was a little praise over the last couple of days. Instead, I've spent five times more time online than usual, rambling on and posting nonsense just to see if I could be funny. It’s probably time for me to retreat back into the shadows again, partly for my sanity and partly because my Verizon bill is going to be absolutely astronomical this month. 😢

Honestly, it’s about time you left.
You’re constantly wasting my precious time on this forum.
You dirty h*e

Besides, I really don't get how the writer for episode 25 could come up with such a pathetic joke regarding Three.
Usually, when you get a script for a movie like this, the story practically writes itself.
But clearly, they couldn't make this one work-.

*o

Nancy Kim2 said:Otto shaves, Paris was just a tool, and that pathetic little "look at me, I'm the sun god" loser Apollo actually took out Achilles.

GNN, maybe you’ve got a bit of heatstroke setting in (go ask C'Teba), but honestly, I can't stay chill about these comics... here's a little something for your ego: 🙏 🙏 🙏

No, Apollo isn't even a thing. Achilles chopped his head off and nothing happened. These arguments are absolute garbage. 😁

nimblemarlin17 said:No, Apollo doesn't exist. Achilles just took his head off and nothing happened. Honestly, what kind of weak arguments are these? 😁

The real question here is: if Achilles and Paris went at it, who would come out on top? Actually, a better question might be: if Apollo and Achilles squared off, who wins? But really, the most important question of all is: if Jesus Christ and Apollo fought, who would win? Personally, I’d put my money on Jesus:

1) He spent years building up strength like a master carpenter,
2) He's strong enough to carry a cross by himself,
3) He has an incredible capacity for enduring pain and physical strikes.

On the other hand, Apollo isn't even real.

casualotter21 said:He spent years building up his strength just like a hardworking carpenter,
2) he's actually tough enough to carry a massive cross all on his own,
3) and he can handle just about any amount of pain or physical punishment.

But you're forgetting one big thing:

4) He’d gladly take every blow from Apollo if it meant being close to him, because at the end of the day, love really does conquer everything.

😁

I don't buy any of that for a second!

I'm an atheist.

Oh boy, dear lord 🙏

Oh my god, Sean Bean 🙏

etcetera, etcetera...

🙂

... I am absolutely weeping! The tears just won't stop flowing! 😂 🤣 😂 🤣

Richard Hernandez13 said:You seem to have overlooked this:
4) He would welcome every blow from Apollo, for love conquers all.
😁

Which brings us to Jesus's signature move:



Jesus is your savior! Jesus KICKS ASS!

Are you guys seriously going to turn this thread into a total disaster zone?!!

😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

😬 🤣 😂

btw. pussy (among other things) = wimp😁😉

Jesus went toe-to-toe with the devil in a boxing match over in South Park. Look, I'll be the first to admit the whole thing was rigged, but if he can take down the devil—who was six times his size and absolutely ripped—then how the hell is a non-existent Apollo supposed to stand a chance? 😁 😛

The movie was killer—2.5 hours of pure entertainment that never felt sluggish or overstuffed. Every character actually feels human, with their own specific strengths and flaws. The action sequences were great too; the hand-to-hand combat felt gritty and real without being ridiculous. My only real gripes are that I missed that epic, rhythmic flow you get from a classic Walt Whitman poem, and honestly, they could've shown a little more skin.

btw, Achilles definitely played a part in the downfall of the Three—he basically took out the only commander worth a damn.

eviltel said:By the way, Achilles certainly played his part in the fall of Troy—he took out their only competent commander.

That speaks volumes about the leadership in Troy. 😁>

casualotter21 said:That just shows how messy the command structure in Troy was. 😁

They had walls. If they’d just locked the gates and stayed put, those guys wouldn't have stood a chance at breaking in. 😛

I mean, I guess maybe the lock and those main support beams holding up the entrance just gave out after ten years of fighting, which is probably why they managed to break in.

Man, what cheap materials. Honestly, I’d love to hunt down the contractor who built Troy and give him a piece of my mind.

Tiamat said:Boring, boring, boring.

This is easily one of the most tedious movies I’ve sat through lately. Honestly, I cannot fathom how a film starring Brad Pitt in a skirt, featuring decent fight choreography and a halfway decent script, could be this incredibly DULL.

Look, I don't particularly care that they strayed from the actual mythology; fine, they wanted to make a "realistic" take without all the gods and whatnot... but the sheer amount of pro-American sentimentality, the "profound" dialogue, the forced "heart-wrenching" moments... It's horrible. A friend actually told me she was just waiting for someone to pull out an American flag and plant it in the ruins of Troy.

Not a single character was well-developed, with the sole exception of Hector. Achilles is a complete psycho, Agamemnon is nothing but a gluttonous pig, and Odysseus is reduced to his errand boy! Hey, Odysseus—the cleverest, sharpest man in all of Greece—is supposed to be a lackey?

I simply don't get it. How do you manage to produce something this uninspired? And that's saying something, because I wasn't even expecting much to begin with.

So... I watched it yesterday and didn't have the energy to write my own full critique, so I checked to see if anyone else felt the same way... and then I found 👍

Ryan Wilson2 said:So... I caught it yesterday, and honestly, I just wasn't in the mood to sit here and type out a full-blown critique—I wanted to see if anyone else was on my wavelength first... and then I stumbled upon 👍

😁 You know what? It’s definitely a bit shallow. A total popcorn movie, if you catch my drift. You watch it, and then—poof—it's gone from your mind.
The showdown between Hector and Achilles was solid, and that opening charge by the Greeks—well, the defense of Troy—was actually pretty gripping. Everything else? Just... okay, I guess.
But that ending? It really had those "Odyssey" vibes lingering in the air... let's just hope they stick the landing next time. 😁